Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Darkest Nights	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1449 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters and I'm not making money from this.

Chapter List
- 32
- 33
- 34
"GEORGE!" Elliot was shouting now, trying desperately to bring George out of the flashback. George had been in the flashback for at least ten minutes, and Elliot was truly alarmed.
If Elliot had been anything but a sex crimes detective, he would have thrown up already from disgust at what George was reliving. As it was, he was having difficulty with it.
George whimpered and cried out from pain and fear. Elliot set a hand on George's shoulder to comfort him, but then-
"I'm not lying! I'm not lying!" George screamed suddenly. He sounded terrified.
Elliot didn't even want to think about what might be happening. He swallowed hard. "George, you're-"
George let out a sound of distress. "No no no no, please don't kill me! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!" George wailed, still not responding to Elliot's voice. "Don't kill me! You're right, you're right, I deserve it, all of it!"
He was trembling violently, and his voice was strangled, laced with fear. He didn't even sound like George. He sounded scared to death, and so vulnerable… And he was hurting. Terribly.
"For the love of god! What the hell did those sick freaks do to you?" Elliot exclaimed in dismay. Elliot had never heard George like this, and George's current state infuriated, horrified, and saddened him.
Elliot didn't want George to have to relive this a second longer. He grabbed his cell phone and frantically searched the address book for Rebecca's number- at the very least, she had to know of something to bring him out of it. Maybe she could drive to them and medicate him. "George, come on, you need to calm down! Snap out of it- Damn it, what is Rebecca's number? Goddamn piece of shit phone!" He shook his phone angrily as he yelled.
"NOOO-OOOO!" George gave a high-pitched, bloodcurdling scream and started to lash out, trying so hard to get away from the people who were hurting him. He flailed his arms desperately, and whatever his attackers were doing was getting worse, more intense, because he gave another terrified, agonized scream a second later. Elliot's blood turned cold, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. This was absolutely horrifying.
Then he realized that he needed to act immediately. Rebecca wouldn't be able to help soon enough, and he couldn't waste time trying to contact her. He threw the phone aside, not caring where it landed. "George, those bastards can't hurt you anymore…. Come on, you're going to hurt yourself if you keep this up, and neither of us want that to happen. You need to snap out of it…" His voice was barely more than a croak- he couldn't remember feeling this afraid before.
He let out a relieved sigh when George went still, but he wasn't sure if George was coming out of the flashback or if he was reacting to something his attackers were doing. Maybe George's attackers had pinned him down- Elliot felt nauseous at the thought. He swallowed nervously. "George, it'll be okay, calm down. Come on, I've got you, you're okay now," he said, voice wavering almost to the point of rendering his speech inaudible.
George gave a pitiful moan of fear, body shaking even more violently than it had a second ago. But, at least he wasn't screaming and lashing out- it was a start. Now to get him completely calm…
Elliot took a deep breath and pulled George's quivering frame close to his body, whispering the words of comfort in his ear. "They don't have you anymore, you're safe with me, and I'm not going to let them touch you ever again. I promise. Whatever you went through is over- it won't happen again. They'll be sentenced to life in prison soon enough, and then you can begin to heal…" He took more deep breaths, trying to stop his own hands from shaking. He never thought he would see George Huang like this.
George snapped out of the flashback, his entire body tensing, and the expression on his face- a mixture of agony, terror, and hopeless despair- made Elliot's anger explode. He wanted to go to Rikers and kill the people responsible, preferably with his bare hands. He'd slam them into a wall, one-by-one, and then he'd tear into them, cause them as much pain as they were causing his amazing, innocent George… He dug his fingernails into his palms, hard enough to draw blood. They were going to pay for this, and he didn't care what the consequences would be.
"Elliot! I, uh!-" George cried frantically, bringing Elliot out of his murderous rage.
"Shhh, just calm down a minute," Elliot muttered, trying to make his voice more soothing and calm than he felt. His voice was sharp and acidic at first, but he managed to make it gentle before he finished his sentence. Elliot hoped his fury hadn't scared George; he couldn't tell whether the flashback was the sole cause of George's terror, and if he added to it, Elliot would hate himself.
George gave a small gasp and clutched desperately at his stomach. He rolled the window down and stuck his head out, vomiting even though his stomach was almost empty. He continued to heave for a while, and Elliot rubbed his back, waiting. Eventually George moved back into the car, panting for breath. Elliot could still see the terror and despair on his face.
Elliot gently pressed George's head to his chest, letting George listen to his heartbeat. He continued murmuring comfortingly, but George still began crying in delayed reaction to the flashback. George's body started to shake again, and he gave giant, heartbreaking sobs as he grasped Elliot's waist, seeking as much physical contact as possible. Elliot stroked his hair with one hand, using the other to embrace him. "Shhh. No one's going to hurt you again, I promise; you'll be okay. Just breathe."
"I c-can't! I-I r-really can't!" George cried, giving a strangled sob. His voice was hoarse and raw. "I-I w-want t-t-to c-calm d-down, but I c-can't!"
George cried harder and harder as he spoke. He could barely speak between his sobs, and he had to take a sharp breath after every syllable. "I c-can't d-do this a-anymore, Elliot! I c-can't stand the m-memories! I c-can't, I can't, take it a-anymore! I al-always feel the f-fear, and the p-pain… at th-this rate, I'm g-going to end up e-even worse m-mentally than I did when I was in the h-hospital! I'm g-going to lose it!"
George buried his face in his hands, shaking his head disconsolately. "T-that's just it, th-though, is-isn't it? I'm n-never g-going to l-leave there, a-am I? No m-matter what I do, I-I won't be a-able to g-get away f-from them… I w-won't be able to f-forget the way it f-felt when they st-starved me, and when they r-r-aped me and c-cut me and b-burned me and b-beat me. Th-they, they'll always have me th-there, and they'll al-always h-hurt me, and a-attack me, m-mentally, and they-they'll always be th-there, t-telling me, that I d-deserve it, and that they-they're going to k-k…"
He bit his lip, struggling to force the words out between his sobs. "K-kill m-me, at any m-moment… and th-that they're g-going to m-mut-mutilate my dead b-body… Th-they're g-going to m-make me s-say why I d-deserve all that… I'm s-safe with you, but t-they'll always have m-me m-mentally! I-I'm n-n-never g-going to l-leave there, u-until I die!" His voice became higher pitched, and eventually his voice squeaked, cracking from strain.
George gave a muffled scream, laced with frustration and agonized despair. He rocked back and forth, letting out another sob. "I have n-never wanted to d-die as much as I did when I was th-there… I wan-wanted to j-just s-stop b-breathing, cu-curl into a b-ball and d-die... At f-first, I was s-so af-afraid of dy-dying, and I was des-desperate to l-live, but then it h-hurt s-so b-b-bad that I th-thought I was g-going to die- and I wan-wanted to-ooo!" he wailed, the pain, hopelessness, and misery clear in his voice.
The words twisted Elliot's stomach and broke his heart. "Oh, George…" Elliot whispered helplessly. George didn't hear him; he was crying too hard. His chest was heaving with each breath.
"I tr-tried, so hard, to h-hold on, be-because I k-kept th-thinking of you! I w-wanted to b-be with y-you like h-how w-we're t-together n-now, but b-by th-the end th-they b-broke me! Th-they com-completely de-destroyed ev-everyth-thing! R-right b-before t-they l-left m-me for dead, I was a-about to beg them… I was g-going to ask t-them to k-kill me! It h-hurt s-so bad, I did-didn't ev-even care a-about the f-fear a-anymore! I WANTED TO DIE!"
Elliot opened and closed his mouth several times without speaking. He was stunned, momentarily rendered speechless by George's words. When he got his ability to speak back, he still didn't say anything; he had to comfort George carefully, but he was unsure of how to start. He was completely, utterly lost.
Finally, Elliot decided that before talking to George about what he was thinking, he had to calm him down and get him to stop crying, and he had to soothe his anxiety. George was hyperventilating as he cried; if he continued breathing that way, he could pass out. Elliot wanted to make everything right, but he had to take care of the basics first. He had to do this bit by bit.
He took a deep breath and pulled George into his lap. They had to sit awkwardly, because of the steering wheel, but Elliot didn't care. He wrapped his arms around George and rested his chin on his head. Then George shifted upwards, burying his face in Elliot's neck; a vulnerable gesture that only intensified his suspicion that George was collapsing. George was as vulnerable, if not more so, than Elliot had ever seen him. Elliot had seen him physically prone, but the mental weakness was almost worse, in a way.
Elliot rocked him slowly, almost as though George was a child. George didn't object; he leaned into the hold, trying to get more comfort from his lover. The tears continued to fall freely down his face.
Elliot continued comforting him, whispering soothingly as he rocked. "Shhh, it's okay, George, don't cry. You're okay, I've got you… Shhh…" He felt tears pricking in his own eyes, but he ignored them.
"T-this… this h-hurts. I h-hurt," George whispered through his tears. He gave another choked sob.
Elliot let his breath out as a soft sigh. "I know it does, but no one is going to hurt you, ever again. I know it's hard to believe, with the memories so clear, but the torture is a thing of the past, and the memories will fade with time; the PTSD will go away. Some things won't be healed, but you'll get to the point where you aren't constantly reminded of it."
"N-no, it won't!" George sobbed. "It w-won't get b-better! I'm ne-never g-going to b-be a-able to m-move on. I'm not g-going to b-be a-able to go a s-single day w-without h-having a n-nightmare or a f-flashback or a p-panic at-attack; I'm n-not g-going to re-recover. It j-just isn't g-going to h-happen!"
"Shhh, this WILL get better," Elliot reassured him, wrapping his arms around his lover as tight as he could without causing pain.
George shook his head and clenched his fists. "No, it won't. And y-you know w-why, Elliot? I'm t-too p-pathetic to be a-able to do it, and I d-don't DESERVE to r-recover! Keyes was r-right a-about me! I'm a-absolutely p-pathetic and w-worthless! I d-don't d-deserve to be h-here, I d-deserve to b-be there! I d-deserve ev-everything th-they did to me!" His voice was laced with acidic hatred- but only for himself, not the ones who had done this to him.
The words, and the venom they were spoken with, once again caused Elliot to become momentarily stunned. Finally he managed to whisper, "No, George, you do deserve to recover. You have to believe me; you don't deserve what happened, and you definitely don't deserve to be there. You don't deserve to be in pain, you don't deserve to be hurt- you don't deserve to be cut and beaten and burned and raped. What you do deserve is for this to get better."
Elliot took a shaky breath. Then he continued, "And you aren't worthless or pathetic, George. Far from it; you're the strongest person I know. The fact that you managed to hold on for the whole month, the fact that you survived the physical attacks AND septic shock, AND you survived flatlining- George, you know how rare it is for people to survive once they flatline, even if the doctors do get their heart beating again."
"And you had it rougher than most others. Your body was weakened from the torture, and from being starved, and your organs had started to fail because of the septic shock. After you flatlined, you were just barely responsive enough to be considered 'unconscious' rather than 'comatose'. The odds were so against you- most people wouldn't have made it. Their bodies would have just shut down. But you still survived it."
He heard George inhale sharply, and he rubbed his back gently to take the hard edge off the words. "The fact that you survived- George, you're strong. So, so strong. Keyes's only reason for saying you aren't, was to try and make you hurt worse. But he's wrong about all of it. I know it's hard to believe me, after all that time being constantly tortured, constantly having your mind and body attacked… but you have to believe me," Elliot pleaded, a note of desperation entering his voice.
He felt a steady flow of tears falling off George's face and landing on his neck as George gasped and sobbed, face still hidden in Elliot's neck. Elliot desperately wished he could do something to help, besides rocking him back and forth, but no ideas came to him. He couldn't think of a single thing he could do to ease George's anguish. Elliot held him tighter and rocked back and forth, stroking his hair, making shushing noises every few seconds. "Shhh, you're okay…."
Several minutes later, George still hadn't calmed down at all, which worried Elliot- though he did understand why George couldn't be soothed. "I know you feel terrible, but you need to try and breathe. Just take deep breaths…" Elliot said softly.
"I al-alr-already t-told you, I-I can't j-just c-calm d-down!" George cried.
"Do you want me to call Rebecca and say that you need help?" Elliot offered gently. "Maybe she can give you some valium or something." He had already moved one arm and was reaching for the phone.
George shook his head silently in response. After a moment he managed to mutter, "V-valium doesn't w-work for PTSD. And I don't want to t-talk yet. I c-can't t-talk to anyone b-but you, a-and e-even when I c-can, I n-need you t-there."
Elliot was simultaneously touched and saddened by George's words. He liked the trust George placed in him, but he also wished George would trust others enough to talk to them.
Elliot knew that George needed to talk to Rebecca soon, but he trusted George to make the decision-although he was going to call her anyway, regardless of George's answer, if George entered another flashback.
He wrapped both arms around George again, stroking his back and continuing to rock back and forth. He gently kissed the top of his head, continuing to give physical comfort, since words didn't seem to help as much. He kept his own breathing slow and even, to encourage George to take deeper breaths.
What had they done to his George? What had they done that was so painful, so awful, that the memory alone left him completely shattered; crying, shaking, and struggling as he tried to grasp at reality?
Elliot took another deep breath and continued trying to help him, knowing that it was the only thing he could do at the moment.
"George, I know whatever you saw must have been absolutely terrifying and agonizing, but you need to calm down, or you're going to make yourself sick again, and that's the last thing you need right now. I don't want you to feel even worse- I love you, and I don't like seeing you like this. Relax, you're okay…" Elliot whispered, even though he knew that George wasn't okay. George wasn't okay, not at all, and his current breakdown was the undeniable proof of that.
"Oh, George… God, they hurt you so much…" Elliot whispered sadly, sympathetically. He tightened his hold on George and closed his eyes, rocking harder. He felt himself struggling as George broke down completely, broke down and cried harder than Elliot had seen him before.
He didn't want to believe it, but he had a feeling that the worst was yet to come.
- 32
- 33
- 34
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Darkest Nights