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Darkest Nights	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1451 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters and I'm not making money from this.

Chapter List
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Elliot walked back into the apartment, feeling refreshed after having taken a walk- his mind felt calm and clear, some of the pure rage and sadness leaving him. He didn't even feel like he needed to hit something or someone, a very rare occurrence as of late. He went to the gym every so often, but it rarely brought the peace he felt right now.
George had moved to the sofa, Elliot noticed, but he didn't think too much of it. He stretched, walking towards the sofa.
He sucked in a breath as he noticed the dried tears on his lover's face. He reached down and gently wiped them away, giving a dejected sigh at the sight. Clearly George's nightmare had been terrible.
Elliot knelt in front of him and shook George's shoulder, wanting to wake him up and guide him to the bed. He had grown used to sleeping with George; his bed felt empty without him now. And he was relatively sure George felt the same.
Elliot was shocked when George didn't jolt awake the second he touched him, like he usually did. George stirred slightly after a moment, but it took much longer for him to respond than it usually did, and he fell right back asleep. Alarmed, Elliot leaned forward. And then he caught the unmistakable smell of alcohol.
George had abused alcohol to escape his problems. He had actually… "What the hell were you thinking?" He snapped at the sleeping man. "You could've talked to me!" The situation infuriated him. George could have hurt himself, and Elliot wouldn't have known until it was too late. Fuming, he lifted George and carried him to the bed.
Suddenly, his fury changed to sadness. George, being who he was, had to have been hurting deeply in order to use alcohol as an escape. He'd known George had been hurting, but he must have underestimated the extent of it-though that sounded impossible, because he'd already thought that what George was feeling was intensely painful.
He gently covered George with the blanket and leaned forward, kissing George's forehead and stroking his cheek comfortingly. He rested a hand against George's chest, just feeling his heartbeat- he had lost count of how many times he'd needed to reassure himself that George was still there. George's pulse was strong, he noted, and it still gave him relief to feel the proof that George had recovered. He couldn't forget, after all this time, the weak, thready pulse he'd felt when George had been found. But this one was reassuring. Elliot was soon assuaged- George was definitely intact, physically.
But it seemed that every time one issue was fixed, another one came to take its place. George had been taken, and Elliot had been desperate to find him. Then George had been found, but he had been in critical condition, and Elliot hadn't been able to do anything while he waited to see if George's body could survive the infection. And now George had recovered, but his mind was struggling with what had happened. George was trying to move on, but with the PTSD, he couldn't- he was trapped in his past.
Just how broken had George felt when he'd consumed the alcohol? The word repeated itself in Elliot's mind. Broken. It must have been unbearable, or George wouldn't have been so desperate to escape himself, if only for a little while.
How had he managed to fail George yet again? He let out a silent roar of frustration at the thought. Every time he tried to help, George ended up being hurt again. He'd failed to protect George when his attackers had taken him, and he'd failed to protect him just now. Even in his nightmares, he failed George. He still had nightmares- not as often as George did, but often. And he always dreamed the same thing; he was watching George being tortured, and he was powerless to stop it. He failed George every time, being unable to ease his pain.
And he didn't even want to think about what a difficult time George would have when the trial resumed a few days later. George would have to struggle through his statement yet again, and be accused of wanting it-
Was George even strong enough to finish the trial? George had said he wasn't, but Elliot had been convinced that it would work, if they were careful. Now he wasn't sure if George had enough left to do it. George wouldn't have to be at court for two days, so George could regroup, but he would have to appear again after that.
The trial was doing more harm than good, at this point, and it would until they got a conviction. George's barriers had been eroded, and the trial was making it worse- Elliot was worried. But George had to testify, either way… Even though it was upsetting him now.
He looked George over again. George looked exhausted, burdened, and anguished, which was fitting: he was all of those things, in addition to others. But it didn't sit well with Elliot, not at all. George deserved so much better that the hell he had been through. He didn't deserve to suffer like this, not only having had to go through a traumatic month of being physically and mentally tortured, but then constantly having to remember it… God, Elliot would have lost it, so long ago, but George was stronger, even while he was breaking down like this.
If there was anyone he hadn't expected to end up in this situation, Elliot mused, it was George. Certainly, he never thought any of them would end up being tortured and having to deal with the aftereffects, but George seemed the least likely of any of them. George was normally cool, calm and collected- the idea of George being reduced to this, constantly terrified and so vulnerable- it wasn't imaginable. But now it was reality…
Elliot lifted the blanket off of George and looked over his torso. He immediately found what he was looking for- the scar from the incident George had described earlier. He reached out and touched the darkened skin, cringing. Elliot hated the sight; scars didn't suit George's normally innocent look at all.
He had never wanted revenge against anyone as much as he did against Keyes and the others, for destroying George like this. The physical scars were terrible, and the mental ones were just as bad, even though they couldn't be seen.
He almost cried when he saw the scars marring George's body. The bruises had healed, which helped to lessen the impact somewhat, but even without them, there were still countless physical reminders. George's legs and torso were covered with cuts, and the scarring was worse because they had gotten infected. And where there weren't cuts, there were the burns- some were from a lighter, and some were from a cigarette. There were too many visible marks.
He shuddered, running his hand over George's stomach. Keyes must have dragged the cigarette over George's stomach with the intention of causing as much damage as possible. There would have been an intense red burn, and it had probably blistered. Then it would have darkened as it scarred, and with no medicine- it would have been hell. The burn alone must have been agonizing, but then they'd made George lie on it. And there were so many other injuries they had inflicted on his poor George…
"Is there anything those bastards DIDN'T do to you?" Elliot asked sadly. "The rapes, the cutting and burning, the bruises, and what they did to you mentally!-" He shook his head in dismay. "I'm not even sure which is worse; what they did physically or what they did mentally. The psychological scars are so much harder to heal. And I have no idea how to fix those; I'm no psychiatrist. But I think I'm helping..."
Suddenly unsure, he leaned forward and placed an awkwardly-aimed kiss to George's scarred stomach, then moved back. "I'm not saying I approve of what you did, but I can see why. At least there won't be any nightmares tonight… Hardly a comfort, I know, but small favors, I guess. I'll watch over you, okay?"
He got no response, but he wasn't expecting one. He pulled George into his arms, pressing George close enough to him so that he could feel every rise and fall of George's chest. George always breathed so much deeper when he was asleep, Elliot noted with a soft sigh.
With the knowledge that George needed him, it took several hours before Elliot managed to convince himself that George would be okay if he slept. He eventually pressed a light kiss to the top of George's head and closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off.
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Darkest Nights