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Day	By : kattanon Category: S through Z > The Shield Views: 1310 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Shield, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: - I don�t own any of the characters of The Shield, they all belong to Shawn Ryan and FX.
Day Chapter 4.
Dutch faltered for a moment, for a second not sure what to say, what to do. Then he just blanked Vic out, and walked right past him out of the waiting room, and down the corridor towards the elevator. Christ, was he never gonna have any peace, any privacy. All he wanted was to try and get his life back together again. How could he do that if he was always being watched? If everyone he knew always regarded him as damaged, as in need of protection, how could he even think about going back to work, being treated as a professional, an equal, and not some unstable screw up.
He didn�t need to turn around to know that Vic had followed him, he could sense the presence of the other man behind him. There were two other men, deep onveonversation, standing by the elevator, waiting for it to arrive. Dutch stood back, away from them and still ignoring Vic gazed at the closed elevator doors, willing it to arrive. As if in answer to his prayer a soft chime signaled it�s arrival, and the doors opened. There was already one man in the elevator when it arrived, and the two men who�d been waiting on this floor for it stepped in ahead of Dutch. Dutch stepped forward, he meant to get in, he wanted to get in, but as he saw the three strangers all waiting expectantly for him to step inside he froze. The thought of being confined in that small metal box with those three men, all standing close to him, maybe even touching him, terrified him. The doors to the lift began to shut, and one of the men stuck out his hand to stop it asking,
"Are you getting in or not?"
Dutch couldn�t speak, his mouth suddenly too dry to form words, he just dumbly shook his head, and stumbled back from the doors.
The man "tsked" impatiently, and drew back his hand letting the doors slide shut, and to Dutch�s relief those three curious stares were gone.
Dutch could feel his heart hammering in his chest, his stomach churning uncomfortably, he needed some fresh air. He jumped slightly when a voice from behind him spoke quietly,
"The stairs are over there, why don�t we walk down?"
Dutch mentally cursed himself for his jittery reaction. In his sudden fear he�d forgotten that Vic Mackey was standing a couple of feet away from him, watching him. Still right now he just needed to get out of this building, and not trusting his voice to speak he merely nodded, and quickly made his way over to the stairwell.
Five minutes later he was standing outside the office building, leaning back against a wall dragging in some deep breaths, and trying to clear his mind and centre himself. As Dr. Alexander had told him, at the hospital, he should do if he ever felt anxious or overwhelmed by a situation.
"How are you feeling?" Vic asked.
Clearing his throat, and opening his eyes, Dutch answered,
"Fine."
"Yeah sure." Vic replied with a snort.
Ignoring Vic�s unbelieving tone, Dutch stated,
"Claudette sent you."
It was a statement not a question because Dutch already knew the answer, he knew his partner well enough to know she�d be fretting about him, and that she wasn�t above calling in a few favours to get someone to check up on him.
"Now why would you think that Dutchboy?" The amusement was plain in Vic�s voice.
"I�m just guessing, but hanging out in psychiatrist�s offices, reading "Good Housekeeping" doesn�t seem like a hobby you�d have."
Dutch was quite proud that his voice sounded steady, and that this was probably the longest sentence he�d said in a week.
"Hey, don�t knock it." Vic replied with a laugh. "Now I can give a dinner party for six friends for only sixty dollars, and I�ve discovered the perfect way to give my living room that designer chic make-over look."
Dutch laughed. He couldn�t help himself, and he felt kinda grateful to Vic for doing that. He didn�t laugh much anymore, and for a second that feeling of normality he was finding so elusive in his life was there in his grasp, before it disappeared like an apparition.
His voice suddenly serious Vic asked again,
"How are you feeling?"
Looking towards the road, watching the traffic pass, but aware of the man standing next to him, studying his face, Dutch replied,
"Dr. Alexander says I have "issues", that I need to deal with."
Vic snorted in derision, the contempt in his voice evident. Whether it was for Dr. Alexander in particular or just shrinks in general, Dutch wasn�t sure.
"Yeah well what a genius�haven�t we all."
Silence fell between them, and Dutch stole half a glance in Vic�s direction. He still couldn�t figure Vic out. He seemed to care, and Dutch couldn�t quitguregure out why. He�d asked him in the hospital. It had been about a week or so after he�d finally become more aware of his surroundings. After his medication didn�t keep his brain quite so numb, and he was actually trying to drag himself back into the real world, instead of squeezing his eyes shut, and trying to hide from it. Dutch remembered he�d woken up, anokinoking out of the window had seen it was dark. There was a soft glow coming from behind him, and carefully turning around, he�d seen Vic sitting in a chair by his bed reading a case file by the light from his bedside lamp. He�d known that Claudette was at work, after having so much time off to stay with him she�d finally had to go back, and start working normally again. However, he hadn�t expected anyone else to be there, and especially not Vic Mackey. Vic had been in several times to say hello, and to speak to Claudette, but on the whole Dutch hadn�td mud much attention. Now however, he�d been curious, and had asked him,
"Why?"
He remembered Vic had looked up from his file startled to see him awake, and had frowned and said,
"What?"
"Why�Why are you here�Why do you care?" Dutch had asked him genuinely puzzled.
He�d worked with Vic sure, and although they weren�t exactly friends, he�d gained a grudging resect for the man after the Sally case. However, he couldn�t quite see Vic as the "Florence Nightingale" type. Maybe if it was one of his own men, Shane Vendrell for instance, who�d been hurt, then yeah perhaps he�d spend time at the hospital with them, but why would Vic Mackey be sitting at his bedside. Vic�s answer had been short, and to the point,
"I watched those tapes too Dutch."
Dutch could still remember the look of shock on Vic�s face as his words had caused him to throw up all over himself and his bed.
So for a while Dutch had thought it was just pity that made Vic seem to care. He�d seen the tapes and felt sorry for him, and so did his bit like you might for a charity case. However, Dutch had been surprised by even that reaction. He�d of thought Vic�s reaction would more likely to have been one of disgust and derision, but if he felt anything like that he hid it well, because as hard as Dutch looked for that in the other man he never found a trace of it.
Suddenly the sound of Vic�s voice next to him brought him back to the here and now, and the busy street outside the psychiatrist�s building.
"Do you want to take a walk?"
Shrugging Dutch resisted the urge to refuse, the urge to get home as quickly as he could, and shut himself away from the world, behind his locked doors and windows and alarm system.
"Sure." He replied instead, and fell into step next to Vic.
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