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What Smegging Luck	By : melusinesara Category: M through R > Red Dwarf Views: 2133 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
Later that evening - with Kryten covering pilot duty and the Cat
fast asleep - Lister, Rimmer, and Kiera occupied themselves in the sleeping
quarters with a game of strip-monopoly.
�Strip-monopoly?� Lister looked at Kiera teasingly when she suggested
the idea.
�Well I
never learned how to play poker�� She shrugged.
�You were
an environmental biologist in the Space Corps, yet you never learned how to
play poker?� Lister asked dubiously.
�We can
teach you.� Rimmer suggested slyly.
�No, because
I�m bound to be bad at playing my first game, and
you�ll use that to your advantage.� She remarked. Rimmer and Lister exchanged
glances, smiles forming on their faces as they both imagined the advantages of
playing a game of strip-poker with an attractive but terrible player. �Don�t
even think about it!� She exclaimed, laughing.
�Think
about what?� Rimmer asked innocently. She folded her arms across her chest and
stared him down.
�I know you
two were imagining me losing at strip-poker. Which, take away the details,
leaves you just imagining me naked. And there are much
better ways of getting me naked than that.� She smirked.
�Like..?�
Rimmer hinted.
�Like playing strip-monopoly with me.� She grinned,
satisfied now that she was getting her way. The boys looked at each other, then
back at Kiera, before pulling out the board game from the storage unit.

Two hours,
three shirts, a bra, and a pair of socks later, Lister and Rimmer began to tire
of the game. Kiera noticed them shifting restlessly at the table.
�What�s up
with you two?� She asked.
�I wouldn�t
ask that question.� Rimmer said, staring at her breasts. �You wouldn�t play
strip-poker with us, yet you�re still losing at this game.� Lister�s eyes were on her as well, but he
didn�t say anything.
�I enjoy
playing monopoly.� She said simply. �And besides, why are you two even
complaining? You wanted me to lose, didn�t you?� She grinned, knowing they were
enjoying the sight of her topless. This time it was Lister�s turn to speak.
�Yeah, and
you�re losing. So can we please stop playing this game and do something
exciting?� He begged.
�Alright, Lister.� Kiera slowly stood up from the table,
stretching. �What did you have in mind?� She was challenging him. Kiera knew
what he wanted. She knew what both of them wanted, but she wanted to hear it
from them first. Rimmer and Lister watched her, neither one wanting to be the
one to initiate it. �So�what did you have in mind?� She repeated, casually
walking around the table and over to Rimmer. She stood next to him so that his
face was inches away from her breasts.
�Erm..� He gulped, staring at her exposed flesh. �Listy, any ideas?�
He turned his attention to Lister, who was sitting next to him trying
unsuccessfully to conceal the tent that was forming in the front of his
trousers.
�I might
have one or two, possibly.� He said, still focused on Kiera.
�Well�?�
She urged them on, seeing through their shy fa�ade. She knew what they wanted.
She knew that they knew she wanted it
too. �I really don�t understand why you�re both being so coy with me. Either
you tell me what you want, or I put my shirt back on.� There. An ultimatum
would certainly do the trick. As she predicted, they couldn�t play dumb any
longer. Rimmer suddenly grabbed her and pulled her down onto him so that she
was straddling his lap. She felt his erection pressing against her.
�You want
to know what I want?� He asked her. His face was so
close to hers that their noses touched. �I want you. Right
now, in this room, with Lister watching us. I know you want it too, so
don�t even pretend you�re in control. After all, there are two of us, and only
one of you.� He growled, kissing her hard. She kissed back with the same
intensity, her teeth grazing his tongue as he tried to lick her lips.
Meanwhile, Lister watched them intently, surprised by Rimmer�s forthrightness.
Rimmer was usually such a coward, especially with women, and it fascinated
Lister to watch him be so dominant for once. Lister suspected that Rimmer
probably wouldn�t have been that way with any other woman. Kiera seemed to
bring out something within Rimmer that no one, even Lister, ever saw.
�What about
you? Is this what you want, Lister? Do you want to sit there and watch him have
all the fun?� Kiera turned to Lister, now addressing him. �Is that what you
want?� She was teasing him, coaxing him into saying something he might regret.
�No.� He
said, narrowing his eyes at her. She smiled slyly as Rimmer nipped at her
throat.
�What do
you want Lister?� She whispered. Lister hated her and wanted her all at once.
Before he knew it, he was standing up and walking over to them. Lister watched
them both as Rimmer kissed downwards. He now had her nipple in his mouth, and
was sucking intently. Kiera opened her mouth, moaning softly, and when she did
Lister was there, kissing her. His kiss was gentler than Rimmer�s, but
possessed the same intensity. She did not protest when his tongue nudged her
lips apart and proceeded to explore her mouth. She tasted the way he imagined
she would- a girlish sweetness mixed with a slight taste of Rimmer. At least,
Lister guessed that Rimmer tasted like that. His curiosity, though, could only
be satisfied by finding out for sure. He stood there, hesitant to break the
kiss with Kiera, but felt they�d all be more comfortable in a bed.
�Hey, why
don�t we move this little party over to the bunk?� He suggested with a cheeky
smile. Rimmer looked up at Kiera, who shrugged and climbed off of him.
�Smeg,
Rimmer, that girl really wants it..� He whispered to
Rimmer as they made their way over to Kiera, who was already undressing on the
bunk.
�She�s not
the only one.� Rimmer whispered back. �Watching you kiss her like that�I�ve
never been so horny in my entire life!�
Lister stopped to think about what Rimmer just said, but was distracted
once more as Kiera pulled him to the bunk by his belt, which she eagerly began
taking off.
�Hey,
Rimmer, a little help here?� Lister joked. Rimmer
stood next to him, idly watching.
�I think
she�s got it covered.� He grinned.
Lister playfully grabbed Rimmer by the waist an pulled
him close. He began to remove Rimmer�s clothes as Kiera relieved him of his
own.
�A little
eager are we, Listy?� Rimmer quipped, but didn�t protest as Lister slid his
boxers down. By now they were both standing naked, close enough so that their
rigid cocks touched. They looked at each other, trying to gauge what the other
was thinking.
�I�m OK
with it if you are.� Lister said with a slight shrug. To his astonishment, Rimmer
moved closer so that they were facing each other, bare chests touching, their
erections pressed together. In a sudden, daring move, Lister slid his hand down
between them, grasping both of them at once. They moaned in unison.
�Mmm�that
is so hot.� They turned to look at Kiera, who was laying
on the bunk ogling them. Rimmer glanced over at Lister, and the two exchanged
knowing looks before leaping on her at once, sending her into a fit of giggles.
Lister
couldn�t believe what was happening. Yesterday, he was arguing and bickering
with Rimmer like usual. Not even 24 hours later, he was in bed with him,
kissing his way down Rimmer�s chest while Kiera played with him from behind. Because
he had a woman with her hands on his balls, playfully biting his shoulder,
Lister didn�t think twice about the fact that he now had Rimmer�s cock in his
mouth and was actually quite enjoying it. So what if the thought of doing
anything remotely sexual with Rimmer would�ve usually made him nauseous? That
was before he became stranded with him 3 million years out into deep space.
Since Rimmer acquired a hard-light form, all Lister could do was to try not to
think about all the things he wanted to do with him- and to him. He tried to hate Rimmer, but found he just couldn�t. Sure,
he had become very good at pretending, especially to himself. They still
annoyed each other, argued constantly. Sometimes though, Lister thought he saw
something different in the way Rimmer looked at him, and wondered if Rimmer was
thinking the same things he was. Sometimes, the insults they would hurl at each
other wouldn�t quite come off as being believable, and Lister waited for the
day when it would all break through horribly and truthfully.
It seemed
that day happened when he woke up to the sight of Kiera and Rimmer together. It
appeared she had beaten him to it, and Lister wanted nothing more than to
reclaim what he felt was his.
�Ooh Listy�I
don�t know why you�re so good at that, but don�t stop.� Rimmer moaned, his
hands playing with Lister�s dreads. It didn�t seem to bother Rimmer that Lister
was doing this to him, but Lister didn�t argue. He continued licking the length
of Rimmer up and down, changing the rhythm only slightly when he felt Kiera
move beside him, her hands reaching around to where Lister�s lips were. The two
of them brought Rimmer to climax with their hands and mouths, taking turns to
lick and stroke him. When he came, both Lister and Kiera touched their tongues
together, sharing the taste of his sticky seed.
�On second
thoughts, we probably shouldn�t have done that.� Lister said, looking down at
Rimmer who was laying beneath him, passed out. �Now he�ll
be too tired to help me out when it�s your turn.�
�Don�t
worry�he bounces back fast.� She winked at Lister. �In the meantime, you�ll
just have to manage on your own.� And with that, she pulled him down on top. Lister
shifted so that he was laying behind her, slowly rubbing
his cock against the warm wetness between her legs.
�God, it�s
been so long since I felt this.� Lister sighed as he entered her. She pushed
back against him, allowing him to slide in deeper.
�And how
long has it been since you�ve given a blowjob?� She asked,
a hint of sarcasm in her voice. They slowly began to move together.
�I�ve never
given one before.� He answered.
�Why not?�
�I�ve just
never had the opportunity.� He wrapped his arms around her, his hands trailing
over her breasts, toying with her nipples.
�You�ve...had�plenty�of
opportunities.� She argued between breaths.
�Well
maybe. But I just now realized it. I mean, I guess I�ve always known I had the
opportunity. I never had the courage to take it before.�
�And why do
you suddenly have the courage to now?� Their rhythm quickened.
�Because for the first time, I had a reason to.� He thrust
into her mercilessly.
�What was
the reason?� She moaned as he hit a particularly good spot inside of her.
�You.� He gasped. �Suddenly I felt threatened. And I thought, if I don�t do something about it now, I might never get
the chance.� He slowed a bit, knowing
that if he kept up at that pace, he wouldn�t last much longer.
�You�ll
always have that chance, Listy.� He heard Rimmer say, and felt the warmth of
the hologram behind him. Lister moaned as he felt Rimmer�s hardening cock brush
against his arse.
�Rimmer�are you going to do what I think you�re going to do?� Lister
asked, feeling Rimmer�s hand trailing along his side.
�I might.
Do you want me to?� There was a hint of hopefulness in his voice.
�Yes,
before I come to my senses and remember that we hate each other.� Lister
panted. He heard Rimmer laugh.
�Of course. After all, why would I want to shag you? Lister, of all the people in the world. The
biggest slob in the universe. Why do I get so painfully hard just
thinking about you?� Rimmer�s cock was at his entrance, gently easing into him.
��Cause you love me, you smeghead.� Lister smiled.
�And the
reason you�re letting me- even wanting me- to shag you is..�
Rimmer pushed himself all the way inside of Lister, drawing a gasp from both of
them.
��Cause I love you.� Lister tried to focus on the feeling of
Kiera around his cock instead of the tremendous pain of Rimmer inside of him, but
he had to stop all movement for a brief second until the sting subsided. A few
seconds later, the three began to move together, creating a whole new rhythm.
Lister soon forgot about the initial pain and the tears he had shed. Instead, it all began to feel very, very
good. Lister was the middle of a tangled, sweaty, hologram sandwich- and he
never thought a situation like this would feel so wonderful. He loved Kiera. He
loved Rimmer. He loved what they were doing to him, and when he came, it had
never been so intense or had lasted so long before. He felt Kiera tighten
around him, and felt Rimmer�s cock twitch inside him as they came soon
afterwards, leaving the three exhausted and collapsed in a heap of post-coital
satisfaction.

When Lister
awoke the next morning, he noticed that he and Rimmer were alone in the bunk.
There was no sign of Kiera. Lister turned over sleepily to Rimmer, who was
curled up beside him.
�Hey, Rimmer. Where�s Kiera?� He whispered. Rimmer slowly
opened his eyes and stared back at Lister.
�I dunno.�
He mumbled. �Is she not there?�
�Of course
she�s not. Otherwise I wouldn�t be asking you where she was, smeg-for-brains.�
Lister joked good-naturedly, leaning in to kiss him. Rimmer pulled him closer,
prolonging the kiss. When they finally parted, Rimmer sat up and looked around
the room. He spotted something laying on the table.
�What�s that?�
He got up and staggered across the room. It was a piece of paper. Rimmer slowly
picked it up.
�Well what
is it?� Lister asked from the bunk.
�It�s a note.
From Kiera.� Rimmer read over the note, frowning in
concentration. After a moment, he walked back to the bunk and sat down.
�What�s it
say?� Lister leaned over and grabbed the note.

Dear boys,

By the time you see this, I will be
gone. I have the supplies needed for the rest of my journey, and so I must be
on my way. I want to thank you for your generosity while I was here, as well as
the most memorable night I�ve ever had. But I regret to say that I cannot
remain here on Starbug with you. As
much as I enjoyed every minute, there�s nothing left for me to do. You have
each other now, and so my work here is done.
To Rimmer- I�ve never before met
someone like you, nor connected with any other individual in quite the same way.
Thank you for giving me so much more than love.
And to Lister- I�m glad that I was
able to help bring the two of you together. Take care of Arnie for me. He means
as much to me as he does to you.

Love
and Luck
Kiera

Lister
stared at the note for a long time, reading and re-reading it over again until
the words blurred together. Rimmer watched him silently, lost in his own
thoughts. Lister broke the silence.
�So�do you
think Kiera�s arrival here was coincidence?� He asked thoughtfully.
�You mean, she sort of knew this would happen and came here to bring
us together or something?� Rimmer was skeptical.
�Well, can
you find any other explanation?� Lister
asked. Rimmer shrugged, coming up with nothing.
�So you�re
saying this wasn�t any accidental visit.�
�Her
supplies weren�t low. For all we know she wasn�t even a hologram.� Lister thought aloud. �Perhaps she was some
form of Pleasure-GELF?�
�No, she
couldn�t have been.� Rimmer frowned, dismissing the idea. �If she was, why did we see the same thing?�
�You�re
right. Good point.� Lister agreed. They looked at each other.
�Maybe it
was just�� Rimmer began, but trailed off.
��Luck?� Lister smiled at him. Rimmer slowly smiled
back, understanding. He lay back onto the bunk and pulled Lister down with him.
As they cuddled together, Lister wrapped in Rimmer�s arms, he grinned. It was a
satisfied grin, a look of blissful contentment.
What smegging luck� he thought as he
drifted into sleep.
- 3
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What Smegging Luck