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By Any Other Name	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 2468 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I in no way own The Big Valley, the characters or situations from the show. I make no money from writing this, just the personal satisfaction of (hopefully!) entertaining those who love the show as much as I do.

Chapter List
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“Hello, Mother,” Jarrod greeted brightly, walking over to give the silver haired woman a kiss on the cheek after setting down his valise.
“It’s good to have you home, Jarrod,” Victoria replied warmly and slipped her arm around him to give him a hug. It had been much too long since he’d been home, even though she understood his reasons for staying away. The past year had been hard for her son since his wife was killed and it was difficult for him to be in the home they’d shared for too brief a time, but that didn’t stop her from missing him. “Are you staying long?”
“Well, that depends,” and Victoria’s heart lightened at the playful glint in his eyes that had been absent for so long. “How long do you think you can stand me?”
“Jarrod, if you never left again, it wouldn’t be long enough,” she said sincerely. “It’s good to see you looking so relaxed.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve worried you at all, lovely lady,” he told her, hugging her again. “I guess I haven’t been around as much I should lately.”
“No, you haven’t,” Victoria scolded lightly, “but I’m very glad you’re here now,” and they walked companionably into the parlour.
“So, what’s been going on around here?” Jarrod asked as they sat on the sofa.
“The palomino mare foaled twins with Eugene’s help and Nick…” Victoria paused. She didn’t want to re-injure Jarrod’s newly healing heart, but knew he would find out soon enough. “Well, Nick’s been seeing the new schoolteacher, Carrie Scott. In fact, she’s coming to dinner tonight.”
Jarrod’s eyebrow arched and his expression held a glimmer of amusement. Victoria let out the breath she’d been holding and was thankful no shadow of pain was evident. “And how long has this been going on? Is it serious?”
“Oh, a couple months and yes, I do believe they are quite serious about each other.”
“Months?” Jarrod’s expression grew stern. “Now, why didn’t anyone tell me?”
Victoria took his hand. “Because, Jarrod,” she said softly, “we didn’t want to upset you. We didn’t want you to think of… well, to think of what you’d lost with Beth.”
Jarrod smiled a rueful smile. “I suppose I have been wallowing in self-pity, haven’t I? But no more,” he said firmly. “Life does go on and I’m sure Beth would want me to move on too. And I can’t wait to meet this woman who’s captured Nick.”
Squeezing his hand, Victoria watched her son carefully. It would be completely in character for Jarrod to mask his own feelings for what he perceived to be the good of his family. She reached out and touched his face. “You truly feel happier, don’t you, sweetheart?”
“I do, Mother.” Jarrod lips turned up in a slightly bittersweet smile. “I still think about her, but it doesn’t hurt as much as it once did.”
“You’ll never stop thinking about her,” Victoria said with the conviction of one who knew all too well. “I think about your father every day but you’re right, the hurt does lessen with time.” She patted his knee. “Now you probably want to go upstairs and unpack before dinner. I believe Nick is picking up Carrie for six o’clock.”
Jarrod nodded his agreement. “I’ll be down to greet them,” he assured as he picked up his valise and headed upstairs. Unpacking his things, he selected a grey suit to wear for dinner rather than the casual tan jacket and pants he’d worn on the trip home. As he changed, he thought about the conversation with his mother. His outlook had changed from the bleakness of the past year and he smiled as he attributed his newfound contentment partly to Heather Thomson. He’d found some of the joy that had disappeared from his life in her warm smile and brilliant eyes, not to mention the pleasures of her body. He didn’t think it was the sort of thing a man could build his life on, but he was in no hurry to look for anything else at the moment. Jarrod checked himself in the mirror to straighten his tie and smooth back his hair. He was truly looking forward to meeting this woman of Nick’s. He hoped his brother had found someone to build a life with and found himself wondering if that was something he would ever find again.

*

Nick opened the front door and ushered the pretty brunette inside with a sweeping gesture.
“Mother!” he hollered. “Audra! Eugene! Where is everybody?”
“Nick,” the woman chastised with a smile and turned when she heard footsteps from the library.
“Well, brother Nick, are you going to introduce me to the lady?”
Nick turned as well to see his older brother standing with his hands tucked in his pockets. “Jarrod!” he yelled exuberantly and grabbed the other man in an enormous hug that lifted him off his feet. He held his brother at arm’s length. “You look good, Pappy.”
“You too, Nick.” Jarrod threw a charming smile in their guest’s direction. “Uh, Nick, are you forgetting something?” At Nick’s puzzled expression, he added, “Introductions?”
“Oh, yeah.” Nick took her hand and drew her over. “Jarrod, this is Carrie Scott. She’s a new teacher in town. Carrie, my big brother Jarrod.”
Jarrod took her hand in a genteel handshake. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”
“And you as well,” Carrie replied. “Nick has told me a lot about you.”
“All of it good, I hope.”
Nick noticed a familiar spark in Jarrod’s eyes and gave an inward sigh of relief. He’d been hesitant to have Carrie come to dinner when they got the message Jarrod was coming back to Stockton, but he was glad she did when he didn’t see any evidence of painful memories on Jarrod’s face. Nick wanted his big brother to share in the happiness he’d found with the vivacious teacher, not be reminded of the teacher who had been Jarrod’s own beloved. They’d discussed sharing their news on the ride out and Carrie had encouraged Nick to talk to Jarrod alone first.
“Can I get you a drink, Carrie?” Jarrod offered as he led the way into the parlour. “I believe Mother’s just helping Silas put the finishing touches on dinner and I heard Eugene and Audra upstairs only a couple minutes ago.”
“I think I’ll go see if Victoria and Silas can use any help, but thank you, Jarrod.” She gave Nick a meaningful glance before leaving the room.
Jarrod picked up the crystal decanter. “Nick?”
“Whiskey, thanks, Jarrod.”
Jarrod poured and settled back against the edge of the table. Nick took a sip of his drink and tried to decide where to start.
“Something on your mind, brother Nick?”
Nick looked up at his older brother. Jarrod always could read him like a book and even though they were adults with their own lives, that still hadn’t changed. He grinned wryly. “Never could keep anything from you, Pappy.”
“Spill it, Nick.”
“Well…” Nick took a deep breath. “I asked Carrie to marry me. She said yes.”
Jarrod smiled widely and gave Nick a hearty slap on the back that made the dark haired rancher sigh in relief. “Well, congratulations, my boy! Have you set a date yet?”
Nick shook his head. “Nope. Gotta tell the rest of the family first and see if Carrie’s folks can make it out.” He eyed his brother carefully. “You okay with this, Jarrod?” he asked, more quietly.
“And why wouldn’t I be? Unless of course, you’re not planning on asking me to be best man.”
Nick couldn’t decide if Jarrod was masking his emotions or not. He had to be thinking of the loss of his own wife, but Nick decided to take his brother’s happiness for him at face value. “Can’t imagine not having my big brother by my side when I tie the knot.” That statement did cause a flash of something to cross Jarrod’s face and Nick inwardly winced. Jarrod and Beth had gotten married on the spur of the moment without the family knowing, so Nick didn’t have the chance to stand up for his Pappy.
But Jarrod quickly raised his glass in a toast. “Here’s to you, brother Nick. May you and Carrie have a long happy life together,” and Nick pushed away the guilty feelings and drank to his future happiness.

*

Jarrod managed to keep a cheerful demeanour through dinner. He toasted the affianced couple again and joined Eugene in teasing Nick about his loss of freedom. He played a couple games of pool with his brothers while the women discussed wedding plans and went over the drawings for a new building to house Gene’s veterinary practice when his youngest brother finished college later that year. It was only after Nick took Carrie home and everyone retired that he sought the sanctuary of his room and the bottle of scotch he kept there. Pouring himself a generous amount, Jarrod sank into the large chair by the fireplace and gazed at the picture that resided on the side table. The couple stared out at him; Beth so happy and himself so proud. He tossed back the alcohol and refilled his glass.
He was truly happy for Nick and Carrie; she seemed like a wonderful woman and he didn’t begrudge his brother one ounce of the happiness he’d found with her. When his mother first told him about Nick’s lady love, he didn’t think he felt sad or jealous, but when Nick announced his engagement, Jarrod found himself yearning for what might have been. A wife, a home, a family of his own.
But then you wouldn’t have met Heather, something inside him whispered.
That’s not the same and you know it, he chastised the voice. Heather and I are just having a good time. There’s nothing more to it than that.
He drank some of the scotch and looked at the photograph again. Heather was nothing like Beth. Beth was gentle and refined, with that demure smile and soft voice. He remembered the too few nights she’d spent in his arms, the sweetness of her kisses and the low gasps she tried to hide when he took her, too ladylike to abandon herself completely in their lovemaking. Heather on the other hand…
Jarrod’s flesh started to harden as he thought of the wild abandon with which Heather opened her legs for him. Yes, he was paying her, but she gave herself to him fully and didn’t hold back any of her enjoyment when they took their pleasure in one another. His hand massaged the front of his pants as he thought of how it felt when she touched him.
Beth had never actually touched him like that, Jarrod thought in surprise. In fact, he suddenly recalled her averting her eyes whenever he disrobed and she was always quick to cover herself with the bedcovers or a nightgown when they were done with their loving. A stark contrast to the lustful way Heather’s gaze roved over his nakedness and the provocative way she displayed her body to him.
Suddenly, Jarrod’s pants were growing too tight and he quickly unbuckled his belt and unfastened them to let his throbbing erection spring free. He leaned back in the chair, grasped himself firmly and tried to think of being with his Beth again, if only in his mind. But his thoughts betrayed him and the only face he could picture was that of Heather, the playful look in her eyes and the sultry pose of her lips. He tried to bring Beth’s image back but Heather filled his thoughts and Jarrod gave in. He stroked himself harder as he imagined being buried inside her and heard her voice urging him faster. He increased the tempo of his hand when he imagined his cock surrounded by her tightness and imagined her calling his name in ecstasy as he brought himself to the edge. He could almost feel her fingers digging into his back as he thrust upward.
“Oh, god, Heather,” he moaned as his manhood erupted and his essence spewed over his hand and shirt. He continued to fondle himself while his member twitched and pulsed as it released the last milky drops and wondered why it was so easy for the woman he was supposed to love to be replaced by a woman he was only paying for physical pleasure.
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By Any Other Name