Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Dichotomy	By : Danyealle Category: Supernatural > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 6150 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural and make no money off this work.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Beta'd by the most amazing Tenchi. Love you, woman!

For update notices for this, or any of my stories, send an email to Danyealle-sama_Updates@live.com. Give the name of the story you want to be notified about or just say you want notified for all of them. Thanks to Rogue for taking the time out of her busy schedule to run that for me!

Chapter 4

Though it was odd for him, Sam was still wide awake when Dean stumbled into the hotel room early in the AM hours of the morning. No, he wasn't sitting up and ready to talk to him, but he was lying in bed wide awake. Shutting his eyes and trying to control his breathing, he was trying to pretend he was asleep. Right now, he wasn't sure he was ready to face his brother. In fact, he wasn't sure if he would be ready to do that in the morning. Not after what Cas told him. He was sure if he did that he would be red as a beet then Dean would really get suspicious about things. No, he couldn't let that happen but he couldn't get it out of his mind either.

Lying there, he listened to what his brother was doing. As far as he could tell, it was the normal after coming back from a night of boozing somewhere. Dean was muttering to himself as he undressed, sounding as though he were trying to keep it down, while he got ready for bed. As Sam well knew, this was normal for his brother. The most noise came from Dean bumping into things in the dark since his brother wouldn't turn the light on in case it would wake him.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he heard the bed next to his groan as Dean laid down then his brother gave a sigh. Hearing some shifting around as his brother found a comfortable position, it was then quiet. As Sam was lying with his back to the other bed, he let his eyes open and stared at the wall. Listening, he didn't move until he heard Dean's breathing even out then deepen, a sign his brother was mostly asleep. It wasn't until he heard a couple soft snores that he began to relax again. Curling up slightly, he shut his eyes and sighed softly. Sleep wasn't going to come, he knew that, not with all that had been dumped on him that night, but he wanted to relax. Somehow, with Dean being in the room, even though asleep, he wasn’t sure he could do that.

As soon as he tried to relax, his brain began to replay what he talked to Cas about earlier. Then came visions of some of it, playing out vividly for him. Reaching up, he pinched the bridge of his nose and swallowed a tortured groan as some of it appeared to want to end up like a porn movie. Hell, from what he was envisioning, the only thing missing from it being a porn movie was the bad music! He sure as hell was getting everything else involved, including cheesy lines and extreme close-ups of the action that left nothing to the imagination. Then, of course, his traitorous flesh began to rise. Of course, that would be normal for such things, he knew that, but this was his brother he was thinking about! There was nothing normal at all about it!

Flopping over onto his stomach, Sam groaned as his now erect cock pressed into the bed. Normally, he would get up, go to the bathroom and take care of the issue. He wasn't going to this time, though. Right now, he didn't think he could handle the ramifications of jacking off to images of him having sex with his brother. Nope, it was bad enough when it came to things with Cas. Add in Dean? That was enough to make his brain explode.

Mind skipping to the angel in his life, Sam sighed softly. Honestly? Though it had only been a few days since his world had turned upside down with that part but he was learning he liked it. Cas was...well, Cas was odd. There was no doubt there. You could tell he was out of his depth with most of it, but he was learning he liked it, as strange as that sounded. There was something about the way Cas went about things that was not only something he found he liked but was endearing in a way. It was obvious that the angel was clueless about the whole thing in the way he was about so much else, but that was more than made up for when it came to other things, like showing affection. No, it wasn't a cuddly thing, he didn't think Cas was even capable of something like that. Instead, it was a touch or look, something he made sure to do often when he was around. Hell, he even did it if Dean was close. He just made sure his brother didn't see such things was all. That Sam liked.

Another thing that was coming up was that despite his mild manner in most things, Cas was not only dominate but slightly aggressive. Part of that, Sam assumed, came from the whole bewilderment about how to do things or go about it, but he liked it, no matter where it came from. Cas also seemed to be very protective of him. He was certain, with what he saw already, that if someone did something to threaten him, they would have one pissed off angel on their ass. That thought made him grin slightly. Dean, at times, could be very overprotective, but he had a feeling Cas was going to leave him in the dust with that. Something, somewhere, inside him liked that. That was strange but he saw no reason to say anything about it and would let it go on. In fact, the more it seemed to go on, the more he liked it. It was odd, but he liked it.

As he had told Cas, the angel wasn't his normal type. In fact, he was quite far from what he normally liked. He wasn't what you would call a whole bottom or whole top, but liked to just go with the flow. Some he bottomed with, some he topped with, depending on his mood. Yeah, he liked more butch guys, the ones that were James Dean-ish in nature. Cas didn't even come close to that type. He was the typical rumpled businessman type. Not to mention how naive and clueless he was. No, normally Sam wouldn't have even looked at him. The more he thought about it, the more he liked it.

At first, honestly, he wasn't sure this was going to work. The main part of that was he just couldn't envision Cas in a sexual way. He was, after all, an angel. Angel's, from what he knew, were rather asexual in nature. Then there was the 'vessel'. He didn't find that desirable in any way. Now, well, even though the whole thing was so strange, he was finding that he liked it. In fact, he was starting to think of Cas that way. As aggressive as the angel could be about some things, such as those first kisses, he found it intriguing and something he liked. Very rarely, because of his size, had he found anyone that was willing to manhandle him in such a way. Most were very wary about doing such a thing because he was big and powerful. It was refreshing when he did find someone like that. That seemed to allow him to give up control. There was also the fact that Cas was powerful, in many ways. He had seen plenty of examples of that in the past. There was something appealing about such a thing. He didn't know why, but there was.

Sighing, he shifted around and tried to get comfortable. Though his erection had waned slightly, it wasn't fully gone so it was brushing on the bed beneath him. That didn't help matters any. Nor was he going to get up and take care of it. He knew that Dean didn't sleep that deeply. That, since coming back from hell, was even more exaggerated. So, if he did get up even to get up to go to the bathroom, Dean would wake up. And as he well knew, no matter how quiet you tried to be, someone was going to hear something. Then there was the time it would take. Even a quickie took longer than you would normally take. Though Dean never said anything, that knowing grin he would get was more than he could take. Nope, not going to happen. He would put up with the discomfort until he went to sleep.

Giving himself a mental swat upside the head, Sam then began to focus and try to meditate slightly, knowing that would eventually put him to sleep. Feeling his body start to relax from it, he continued on until he began to drift away.

Dean, as was now the norm for him since coming back, slept in fits and starts. By this point, he knew that he would sleep for two hours, tops, then something would wake him up. It could be anything, really, and it wasn't usually the same thing. Sometimes it was a nightmare, sometimes it was a noise, sometimes it was just something setting off his danger instincts. Once that happened he found it hard to get back to sleep. Lying there in the dark with nothing to distract him the way it was when it was daylight or he was out somewhere, so it was harder to shove aside the memories of what it was like in hell. None of that was something he ever wanted to remember. Some things, of course, were worse than others and he wanted to bury them.

Turning onto his back, he stared up at the darkened ceiling. He could hear Sam's deep breathing from the other bed, telling his brother was probably sound asleep. That was good. It meant that whatever had been wrong earlier in the day was probably out of his system and he would be better in the morning then they could push on. No, as far as he knew, there wasn't anything important out there for them to do and he didn't even know if there was a hunt nearby, but he didn't like staying in one place for long. Doing that made things routine then he would dwell on things he didn't want to.

Lying there for a few minutes, he realized that he wasn't going to get back to sleep easily. The nightmare that had woken him had to do with the being in the other bed. Just hearing Sam's breathing seemed to make it want to play out a few times. That wasn't going make it to where he could sleep for a while. With a soft groan, making sure to keep it down, he sat up and put his head in his hands. Taking some deep breaths, he tried to shove the nightmarish images back slightly. When they didn't want to go, he stood up then padded to the bathroom.

When he finished and came out, he snagged his jeans from the pile he had tossed them in then tugged them on. After a glance at Sam to make sure he was sleeping deeply, Dean tossed his jacket on to fight off the chill he knew was out there then stepped outside, shutting the door quietly behind him. Walking over to his baby, he slid into the driver's seat then just sat there, resting his head on the steering wheel. As it was so late and it was a smallish town, there didn't seem to be any traffic out at this hour to distract him from everything going on in his head. Instead, there were only the soft sounds of insects against what seemed to be a dead silence. He hated that. The silence was his worst enemy anymore. It seemed to make what was going on in his head even worse. As it was bad enough as it was, worse wasn't something that needed to happen.

Leaning back, eyes shut, he rubbed them and groaned again. Somewhere in him he wondered if this one horse town had a convenience store that was still open so he could get some beer. It was his thought that, maybe, a couple more of them and he could get back to sleep. However, he didn't think so and didn't want to go back in the room, pull on the rest of his clothes then go find out. That took more energy than he had at the moment. There was also the fact that starting the car would probably wake Sam. So, even if it was a bust, chances were that when he came back his brother would be up and questions would be asked. As he had even less energy to answer those, it wasn't going to be worth the effort. No, he would just sit out here until such time as he thought he could sleep once more.

He was startled out of his thoughts by hearing something in the backseat. Automatically, he grabbed for the gun that was always in his coat then spun around, only to relax when he saw Cas sitting there. “Dammit, Cas! You scared the shit out of me!”

“That was not my intent,” Cas intoned, looking intently at Dean. He knew, because he had been watching, that Dean was having issues tonight. He was hoping that he could talk to him a little and see if that would help. With the way things had gone, he didn't expect that to happen, but he hoped it would, even a little, at least enough that the older Winchester would be able to get some rest.

“It's never your 'intent', Cas, but it keeps happening. I wish you would come up to me like a normal being so I don't keep feeling like I’m going to jump out of my skin when you pop up!” Dean groaned, rubbing his eyes, feeling his heart still hammering in his chest.

“That's because you're too tense,” Cas told him bluntly.

“Thank you for that assessment, Dr. Phil!” Dean snarled, shaking his head.

“Who is this Phil and what kind of doctor is he?” Cas asked, curious. He also wondered, though he didn't voice it, if that was sarcasm or a compliment. With Dean, you sometimes didn't know.

Shaking his head, Dean said, tone more normal, “It's just a saying, Cas. It means you're stating the obvious.”

Getting that, Cas nodded. Giving Dean an intense look, he said, softening his tone the best he could manage, “You need to quit worrying and replaying things you can't change, Dean. Though I understand it's human nature to dwell on traumatic events, you aren't helping anyone if you are less than alert because of lack of sleep.”

“I know that, alright?” Dean snapped. “I know,” he said again, a softer, more weary tone to his voice. “I can't help it.”

“It's called hell for a reason. You found out why. Though you may wish to, you can't change what happened there. It's also going to affect you here. You have to accept that.” Stopping, Cas looked at the being he was supposed to be in charge of aiding in this fight then said, knowing it wouldn't go over well, “The drinking isn't helping either. Imbibing alcohol doesn't make it go away, Dean. It also doesn't make it to where it didn't happen. All it does is put off dealing with it.”

Rounding on the angel, Dean snarled, “You don't know what I'm dealing with! Don't tell me how to handle it, Cas! You have no clue what it is!”

“You broke when they used what you want to do with and to your brother, Dean. It's sexual in nature. It was there before you went to hell, though you buried it deeply. That's what bothering you,” Cas imparted, looking at the older Winchester.

Color draining from his face, Dean looked at the angel, not sure what to say. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity passed, he asked quietly, voice slightly uneven, “How? How did you know that?”

“I know all of what went on in hell, Dean. After all, I was the one assigned to get you out. I've always known. You need to remember that you were manipulated into what happened. They knew you would break and that Sam was the key to doing it. You couldn't hide anything from them. They have other things in mind for you as well. There are bigger plans at stake here. By dwelling on this and making it to where you are less than attentive, you're more apt to play right into what they and others want.”

Looking at the angel warily, Dean asked, though not expecting a response, “And what are those? How am I doing it? Or is that another of those things I just have to wait to learn on my own like so much else?”

Looking intently at Dean, Cas thought it over then said slowly, “I will tell you, just not tonight.” Seeing that Dean was ready to protest that, he pressed on, “You need to be rested and coherent, Dean. That you aren't. You may feel you're fully functional and can take on anything, but you can't. You're too sluggish and out of it to process things fully. You need sleep, Dean, more than what you’ve been getting.”

Though he wouldn't say it aloud, Dean had to admit Cas was right. Since coming back and being drawn into this mess on top of dealing with the things he was, he was out of it, running on fumes most days. He knew he looked good to those that knew him, like Bobby and Sam, but he wasn't. On top of that, the amount of booze he was sucking down wasn't helping a damned thing! However, the booze was the only thing that was helping him cope with it. It was, after all, one of the few things he knew that would do that. He wasn't Sam, he didn't talk about things or have other ways to deal with shit. This was all he knew.

“You're worrying your brother, Dean. Your behavior is off and Sam knows it. That doesn't help things either. You're actually pulling away from him. Do you think that's wise with what's going on?”

“No, it's not,” Dean told him wearily, shaking his head. With whatever Sammy was doing with that damned demon, leaving him alone and distancing himself from his brother was the world's worst idea. However, he couldn’t be in the same room with his brother for long without having flashbacks of the fantasies that ended up being played out in hell. Then there was the fact that he didn't think his self control would hold up when it came to trying some of it. Hell, much to his disgust and horror, he had jacked off to visions of what he wanted to do with Sammy more than once since returning. Topping that was the fact that women didn't seem to have the same appeal anymore. Oh, sure, he had gone there to get relief, but the whole time he was imagining that it was his brother he was doing it with. That sickened him.

Looking down, Dean sighed then said, voice soft, “Right now, it's best I don't be around Sammy. It's... look, it's better for both of us.”

“No, it's not best, Dean,” Cas told him firmly. “You need to face this and not keep running away. All running away is doing is making it worse!”

Head whipping around, Dean glared at the angel, “How the hell would you know what this is like? You don't know how bad this is, Cas!”

“No, I don't understand, I admit that. However, I do know you are walking yourself right into what everyone has planned for you by doing this. Not only that, you're driving Sam away.” Cas told him calmly.

“Look, let me handle this. I'll get it under control. It's just going to take time!”

“Time isn't something we have a whole lot of, Dean. Every day seals are breaking and things are playing out. It's not going to stop for you to pull yourself together.”

“I know!” Dean roared, smacking his palm on the steering wheel. “I know, already! Right now... I need time, Cas. I need to be able to shove this aside and move on.”

“Nothing's worked to do that since you came back. How is more time going to assist that? I don't understand. You're doing nothing but drinking and that's making it worse.”

Rubbing his eyes with two fingers, Dean said nothing. He knew Cas was right, nothing was working. He was also sure that more time wasn't going to assist. All 'more time' was doing was getting him to spend more with Sam and for the fantasies to become more vivid every time he saw his brother partially undressed or in some position that triggered something. He didn't know what would work either.

After a couple minutes of collecting himself, Dean asked, tone devoid of a show of temper or frustration, “What do you suggest I do, Cas? I don't know. Nor do I know how to get it under control. Any clue there?”

“Perhaps you need to, as they say, 'come clean' with Sam about what is going on? Telling him what the issue is, though not saying exactly what is causing it, might take some of it off your mind. It will at least be a start.”

“I don't do that caring and sharing shit, you know that,” Dean snapped.

“Maybe in this instance you need to, Dean. Getting part of it out might stabilize something. The things you're doing aren't working so it's time to do something else.”

Looking down, Dean thought that over. He hated the idea of course, just like he always did when he had to give up something so personal, but it might work. It might get some of it out and take the pressure off. He didn't know though. Shaking his head, he said, “Cas, it's not going to work. I can't do it. Even if I talk in generalities, the big problem won't come out.”

“Then tell him the real problem,” Cas said logically.

Looking back at the angel, astonished, he said, “Oh, that will help! Hey, Sammy, you know what the problem is? Why I can't be in the same room you are? It's because I want to fuck you. I got to reenact that in hell and now I want to do it for real. Yeah, that'll work, Cas! It'll work in driving Sam away for sure!”

“Maybe he'll take it better than that. Or, maybe, I can tell him,” Cas shrugged.

“You tell him? Are you kidding me? You misunderstand things and don't get it across well. Hell, by the time you're done, Sammy will be running away as fast as he can. No, no one is telling him that!” Dean groaned, rubbing his eyes with two fingers.

Getting frustrated, Cas sighed, resigning himself to going about this another way. Finally, after a couple minutes of silence, he said, “You need to figure out something, Dean. You can't continue on this way. Things are going on that you know nothing about and can't ward against because you're distracted. That's giving beings working to play you into something an advantage they don't need.”

“I know,” Dean said wearily. “I know, Cas. Just give me more time. Let me do some thinking and get it together. Then I'll figure out something, alright? Just... right now it's too raw. I need more time.”

Shaking his head, Cas said, “More time is something you don't have a lot of, Dean. Remember that.” Then he vanished with the sound of fluttering wings.

“I know that too,” Dean said aloud though he knew the angel was gone. Leaning his head against the steering wheel, he fought the urge to beat it on the thing. All he wanted was a way to make this shit stop but there wasn't one that he knew of. Nor did he know a way to look for it. Hell, he couldn't even ask the normal sources he had for help because he would have to give up the problem. That wasn't happening.

Leaning back once more, he sighed again then looked at the room. Sooner or later he was going to have to go in and see Sam. As it was easier to do when he was asleep, he thought he should do it now and get it over with. As tired as he was, he hoped he could go back to sleep for a couple hours. At least he hoped he could. If not, it was going to make things worse.

After doing another quick debate about finding more beer, he opened the door then headed back towards the room, resigning himself that he had to face it once more.

Please review!
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Dichotomy