Honey | By : BlueHarlequin Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 3109 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: Nothing of Criminal Minds belongs to me; this is not for profit. No copyright infringement intended. |
Honey
Author: BlueHarlequin Chapter 4 Disclaimer: Nothing of Criminal Minds belongs to me; this is not for profit. No copyright infringement intended. Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, UST, drug use A/N: unbeta'd. Please be kind. Updates are always posted in my profile. Feel free to PM me with comments or leave a review, I love hearing from ya'll! Hotch + Reid Summary: Addiction Series 2 - Reid struggles with his drug use and turns to the one person who has never abandoned him.As Spencer emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet he realised that Hotch was standing at the doorway watching. “Ugh, it’s really embarrassing having you watch me while I’m doing this. I’m really disgusting at the moment.” He sat down on the floor and mumbled his thanks as the older man handed him a towel and a sports drink.
“Spencer, you are not disgusting. And throwing up is nothing to be embarrassed about. I have a little boy. You learn to grow a thick skin.” He leaned forward and flushed the toilet. “Throw up is one of the easier things to clean up and children aren’t as kind to make for the nearest bathroom or garbage can.” Reid leaned against the tub, “Aaron, this isn’t working. At least we’re able to do this now because the case yesterday wrapped up so quickly. But what happens when we have to go away for several days? Not to mention you won’t be able to torture me with more soup if the hotel doesn’t have a kitchen.” Aaron grinned. The fact the young man could joke about it showed they were making some progress. The next moment he sighed in resignation, Hotch had thought about that and what he was coming up with was a plethora of bad ideas. While he didn’t want Spencer to be high while they were on a case it obviously hadn’t stopped him before. He didn’t want to have to work around it. It would be a hard make excuses to keep the young man at the station should they have to arrest a suspect or go out into the field for some reason. He was vaguely considering the option of obtaining some methadone. Keeping Spencer on the reducing doses of the Dilaudid did nothing to curb the withdrawal symptoms and he knew it was taking a toll on the young man’s body. Not that there was any legal way to obtain it, either. He knew somehow Spencer had found a dealer because he had confessed to having only taken two bottles from Tobias’ body. What he had placed in front of him over a week ago had been more than that. After Spencer had cried his eyes out, Hotch had sent him back to bed. He had slept on and off, waking up to throw up, to pace back and forth, to watch movies with Aaron. He had grumbled when the older man had handed him another bowl of soup but ate it as directed. He would shake and sweat, which would make him want to shower. Hotch knew he was mortified to have the older man stand outside the door while he did this, but it couldn’t be helped. It was far less awkward than he had been after their talk. They never mentioned his breakdown afterwards and for the sake of Spencer’s pride Hotch had written it off as a mood swing caused by the withdrawal. Monday he was irritable but had managed not to be antagonistic. He had calmed down by Tuesday, but by the time the plane touched down on its return from Baltimore Reid was just about crazy from the cravings. That evening Hotch had called Haley to tell her they were leaving for a case and driven Reid home and the cycle had started again. Aaron had gone in early with the excuse he had to leave early to take Jack to the doctor. He had told the team Spencer had called out with food poisoning. Then there was the call to Reid to tell him he needed to call Morgan and Garcia to assure them they did not need to come over. After leaving Quantico, he had returned to the young man’s apartment to this. What had amazed him was that Gideon hadn’t noticed. Sure, he and Reid had somehow managed to keep everything strictly professional at the office, but the older man was a seasoned profiler. Then again he hadn’t noticed that Reid had started to use again. The senior agent was so wrapped up in his cycle of doubt that Hotch was beginning to wonder if, as the team leader, he needed to do something about it. Pushing that thought aside he came back to the situation at hand. He had researched everything he could about the effects of Dilaudid, the addiction cycle, withdrawal, methods of detoxification. Aaron had been distressed to learn that years after the physical cravings had stopped the user could still experience psychological cravings. Spencer would most likely have to continually manage his addiction for the rest of his life. He could easily lapse back if he didn’t have the support of his friends and colleagues. Before he had even consciously acknowledged it Aaron had committed himself to helping the young man through it, for as long as he needed him. He didn’t bother to ignore his subconscious when it supplied the words, even if it was for the rest of his life. With all of this in mind he turned to the distressed youth, “Spencer, do you feel well enough to go out on your own?” Reid looked at him in confusion, “Think I can manage it. Why?” “How hard would it be to get methadone?” Spencer looked at him sharply. “No. I’m never calling that number again for anything. I know what you want to do but it didn’t work at the clinic and it won’t work now. I’m not weak. I’m not.” Hotch drew in a breath as he recognised the phase. Spencer had told him almost everything he could remember when Tobias had turned off the cameras. There were a few things he had glossed over and Hotch was sure there were a few things he had left out completely but the older man hadn’t pressed. Some of it had been things that were in the case file but most of it had been intensely personal. Hotch had quizzed him on it mostly to see if he could find the root of the younger man’s addiction, a trigger or something that they could work with. The older man knew that Spencer was a painfully private person and for him to share anything was amazing. The revelation that the young man had felt safe when Tobias was around and had drugged him had made sense to the senior agent after looking at the situation with Reid’s insights. “I’m not saying you are weak Spencer. If anything, I’m agreeing with you.” The young man pulled himself off the floor and pulled out a shoebox from under the sink. Hotch wondered what he was doing until he lifted the lid revealing the bottles of drugs he still had left. The older man lunged forward as Reid threw the first one in the bathtub, watching it shatter over the enamel bottom. “What are you doing?” he grabbed the younger man’s arm as he hefted a second bottle. “This isn’t working! I want to stop, I want to stop NOW!” Aaron let go of his hand and stood back. Spencer looked at him in uncertainty. Aaron nodded, “Go ahead, I won’t stop you if this is what you really want.” Reid looked forlornly at the glass shattered in the tub and shoved the box into the older man’s hands, “Get rid of it. I’ll get through it, I’ll just stop. When I show up tomorrow I can just blame the nausea and everything on the residual effects of food poisoning. Everyone should leave me alone for the most part if I’m not feeling well.” The older man looked at the box in his hands, “How do you want to handle the rest of it?” He knew the problem wasn’t the visible physical side effects but the psychological ones. It was mainly the nightmares and the flashbacks. The flashbacks were getting better but it was nightmares giving him the problem. Spencer didn’t want to sleep or sometimes couldn’t sleep. The insomnia made him tired, which in turn made him irritable. The younger man snorted, “I think I did pretty well with my behaviour the other day.” Aaron refrained from pointing out that he had spent most of the day with Gideon. The older man was, at the moment, far too wrapped up in his own world to notice much of anything and Morgan had been occupied by the young Russian woman. As he pushed himself away from the wall he said to the young man, “Haley still thinks I’m on a case. Do you still want me to stay with you?” An unreadable expression crossed Spencer’s face for a moment. For once, it was a look that Hotch couldn’t interpret. He nodded before replying in a hesitant voice, “Please,” he paused as if thinking it over, “just … remember to call Jack.” The older man smiled at him brilliantly, “I will.” He looked at the mess in the bathtub. “Come on, let’s clean that up. Then we can talk about how we’re going to get through the next few weeks.”tbc
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