The Trade Off | By : LotornoMiko Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time Views: 5409 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Once Upon A Time fandom. Nor do I make any money off of it or this story. |
There was a moment where Belle considered doing nothing. A moment when all she wanted to do was hide, to turn her back and abandon her own responsibilities to the drama that was unfolding. Belle would actually sit there for a minute, just listening to the sounds of the struggle. The two men were both making noise, Rumplestiltskin letting out a fierce growling while Hook wheezed, frantic for breath.
She didn't have a good view of what was happening from the bed, Rumplestiltskin's back blocking much of Hook from her. But she could see the strain, the tension in Rumplestiltskin's arms, as he pressed down on Hook. The younger man was barely holding Rumplestiltskin at bay, his good hand gripping the cane, while his hook slid uselessly over the length of it. Perhaps if he had had both hands to grip the cane, Hook would have had an easier time. But the fact was he did not, Hook losing the battle, this much closer to having his windpipe crushed by Rumplestiltskin's cane.
Belle was not a vindictive person. Neither was she particular vengeful minded. But this one time, she was almost tempted. Especially with what had just happened, with what Hook had been doing with her, to her, earlier in this bed. She was beyond embarrassed, humiliated and ashamed. Remembering that though Belle had done little more than lay there, her body had still reacted to Hook's.
It was that reaction that so troubled her, that so tempted her to almost let Rumplestiltskin do as he willed. As if Hook being killed, would somehow wash away the taint of what had happened. As if his murder, could somehow make her clean again, make it that Belle had never struck such a deal, and that she hadn't climaxed several times while with Hook.
But that wouldn't really change the past. Wouldn't make the shame of it go away, or erase the memory of Hook's hands on her body. As badly as Belle felt, she couldn't let what she had done with Hook, change her so completely, as to condone a cold blooded murder of anyone. Even that of the pirate, Belle gathering the bed sheet, wrapping and tying it secure around her naked body before standing.
Her legs were a bit unstable, not all of it having to do with nerves. It seemed Hook had been a little too vigorous, Belle's body unprepared for anything quite that enthusiastic. But she didn't cry out, didn't stumble though she did shake. Walking on quivering legs towards the men, speaking a name, quietly at first.
"Rumple."
He didn't seem to hear, didn't seem aware of anything but Hook and his rage. Rumplestiltskin kept right on pressing down with his hands, the cane sometimes touching Hook's throat. The pirate was red face, stealing breath when he could. There was blood over one eye, his temple cut, and lip split. If there was any other injuries to him, Belle couldn't see, the pirate having had the luxury of falling asleep still clothed where as she had been completely naked.
It was just another reason to be upset, Belle not liking the vulnerability that being left naked made her feel. And yet she still tried to interfere, to save not the pirate, but Rumplestiltskin, Belle not wanting him to darken his soul any further. Not with this, not with vengeance, not with anything, Belle wanting to keep on nourishing the goodness she still believed existed inside Rumplestiltskin.
"Rumple." She said in a louder tone. It would take a scream, and the full use of his name, to get Rumplestiltskin to finally acknowledge her. "Rumplestiltskin!"
He didn't let up on Hook, the two still struggling. Hook had managed to shove the cane back enough to steal a few desperate breaths, but even with Rumplestiltskin's attention divided, he didn't stand much of a chance.
"Rumplestiltskin, stop!"
He glanced her way, Rumplestiltskin's angry eyes wide with disbelief. She couldn't blame him for that, knowing what he must think, what he must be feeling. Belle knew things were about to become worse, for him, for them, even for Hook. And yet she braced herself, one hand held just above her breasts, gripping the bed sheet closed.
"He...He didn't..." It was more difficult than she thought, Belle moistening her lips nervously. "He didn't rape me. He didn't...not exactly."
Eyes looking far darker than Belle could ever recall them being, Rumplestiltskin spoke in far too calm a voice. "What does not exactly mean?"
"I...."
"I found you, Belle." Rumplestiltskin continued over her faltering voice. "I found you lying there in bed with him. Naked and used, with the tears still drying on your face. So tell me Belle, what exact part of that wasn't rape?"
"How about the part where she agreed to it?" Hook wheezed out in between pants. Rumplestiltskin immediately struck him over the chest with the cane, several hits being delivered in the most painful of manner. Hook writhed in pain, crying out with each hit landed.
When it began to look like he wasn't going to stop beating Hook, Belle cried out, laying a hand on Rumplestiltskin's arm. "He's telling the truth!"
It didn't go completely silent, not with Hook's groans. He was attempting to laugh, but was hurt too bad to fully succeed at it. Rumplestiltskin had gone still, his eyes on Belle, as he stared at her. Searching her face, as though he would find a different answer, Rumplestiltskin finally whispering.
"Why would you do this?"
"I..."
"Why would you seek to hurt me this way?" He demanded. "After all I've done...after all we've shared. I helped you, I protected you, I LOVED you. And this is how you repay me?"
She couldn't stop the flinch that went through her, Belle having taken note of the past tense in which he had spoke of her. Of the things he had done for her, including love, as though Rumplestiltskin was already shutting off all the feelings he had ever had for her. Belle refused to believe it was that easy for him, even if he was angry. Especially if he was angry, Belle understanding he was not only hurt but confused.
"Rumple..."
"Answer me Belle!" He snapped it out like an impatient order, the woman again flinching. Knowing she had done wrong, even as Belle had tried to do the right thing, the only thing she could do, if they had wanted the scarf saved.
"It was the only way." She finally whispered.
"The only way?" Rumplestiltskin made a mean snicker of sound, scoffing in his disbelief. "The only way to do what?! To betray me?!"
"I would never betray you..." Belle began, then hesitated. "Not without no other choice left to me."
"No other choice?" Rumplestiltskin echoed. "No other choice than to lay with my most hated enemy?" He was rising off of Hook, the movement slow, graceful. It seemed a dozen times worse than if he had moved fast and violently, Rumplestiltskin trying far too hard to maintain a rigid control over his feelings.
Belle couldn't stop herself from taking a step back, watching as Rumplestiltskin narrowed his eyes in response. She didn't even want to guess how he had misinterpreted her quick retreat, Belle clutching the bed sheet harder until her knuckles bled of their color. Until they became as white as her face surely was.
She was upset, and a part of her, wisely was afraid. She couldn't help it, the anger he was battling with, seemed infinitely worse than that time in his castle. The day they had shared a kiss, Belle giving him her first, her motives entirely based on love and good intentions. Her kiss then had been true, as pure of heart as Belle herself had once been. It had had the power to break Rumplestiltskin's curse, and for a few seconds she had gotten a glimpse of the man he could be.
What had followed those few seconds was one of the most terrifying and most disappointing moments of her life. For Rumplestiltskin had realized what was happening, and then had flown into a rage, desperate to hold onto his power. Accusations and terror had followed, Rumplestiltskin angry and suspicious. Assuming Belle had not had the best intentions in mind, the man actually having to lock her up in the dungeon for several days for her OWN protection and his.
Now, with Rumplestiltskin barely controlling his anger, Belle was very much wishing to be back in the dungeon, as if that room could somehow protect her from what was happening. From what Rumplestiltskin might do, might say in the heat of the moment.
"Tell me Belle. What was it about him?" Rumplestiltskin demanded, moving in that slow, patient way. It took all her will power to hold still, Belle letting Rumplestiltskin reach her, the man stopping within touching distance. "Just what is it about that miserable pirate, that makes a woman who has supposedly pledged her love to me, TO ME, go to his bed?"
Belle could hear the unspoken questions, see the hurt Rumplestiltskin wondering how this could have happened to him more than once. And then Hook was speaking, his voice hoarse, his breathing labored.
"Perhaps what you really should be asking is just what is so unappealing about you, to have not one but two women so quick to seek any way out."
Rumplestiltskin didn't even look Hook's way, a gesture from his arm sending the pirate flying. Belle let out a cry, watching as Hook first slammed into a wall, then crumpled to the floor. The anger in Rumplestiltskin's eyes surged brighter, the struggle for control visible in his expression.
"You would cry stricken for him?"
"I cry for YOU." Belle finally told him, her tone savage with all her hurt emotions and fear. "You're better than this Rumple...Or at least you should be." She added at his scoff. "Rumple...don't do this. Don't revert back to the way you were. Don't undermine the goodness inside you, the goodness I still believe in and fight for! Don't stop being the man that I love..."
"You love me? Don't be absurd!" Rumplestiltskin snapped, seeming to shake with an unvoiced laughter. "Your love is worth little if this is how you express it."
"I did it for you." She whispered, and watched Rumplestiltskin's body go ramrod straight.
"What?! For me?"
Holding her breath, Belle nodded. Rumplestiltskin gave her an unpleasant smile, starting to step even closer when a sword was thrust between them.
"That's far enough, Rumplestiltskin." Somehow even beaten, Hook managed to hold a sword without swaying. He looked fierce, and determined, and then he gave his own cold, unpleasant smile. "You won't be crushing any hearts today."
Belle felt a chill go through her at that, remembering what Hook had told her about Mila. About how Mila had died at Rumplestiltskin's own hands. Rumplestiltskin did look angry enough to want to kill, but Belle stubbornly clung to her belief that he wouldn't hurt her.
"He won't hurt me." She said out loud, but Hook was unconvinced.
"I've seen what he is capable of. What he does to those he supposedly loves."
"There's nothing supposed about it." Belle stated firmly. "Rumplestiltskin loves me. You wouldn't be hurting this way if you didn't. You wouldn't be feeling the same heart sick feelings that I do, nor would you be struggling to make sense of all this. But Rumple...you have to know. My..decision had nothing to do with hurting you, and everything to do with helping you. With helping you to be able to find your son."
"My son?" In the moment Rumplestiltskin looked as though he didn't even remember having a son, or that Baelfor was among the reasons why he had come to Hook's ship in the first place.
"Baelfor." Belle reminded him. "You NEED that scarf, if you're going to go find him."
"What does the scarf have to do with this?"
"It has EVERYTHING to do with this!" Belle exclaimed. "Rumple...Hook was going to BURN that scarf to ash." Rumplestiltskin's gaze turned murderous, the man turning to glare at the pirate. Belle ignored Hook's sword, stepping around it, to lay a hand on Rumplestiltskin. Sadness filled her at the way Rumplestiltskin flinched at her touch, Belle exhaling a breath before continuing. "There was no chance, no time to do anything. The ends were already on fire, Hook seconds away from dropping it into the oil."
"I wouldn't have just burn it." Hook said, seeming to relish what he was saying. "I would have scattered the ashes to the winds, leaving you with nothing to recover."
Belle flashed him a look, before softening her gaze towards Rumplestiltskin. "I had to do something. That was when Hook offered a deal. A trade..."
"Belle, no..." What looked to be understanding had dawned in Rumplestiltskin's eyes.
"There was no other thing I could do...Not if I wanted the scarf saved."
"You..." Rumplestiltskin shook his head, his eyes no longer quite so angry. "You overly self sacrificing, foolish girl." But the words weren't spoken with a mad heat, Rumplestiltskin simply seeming so sad in the moment. "Don't you know your own worth? Don't you know I would have done anything to spare you this? Even if it meant losing the scarf?"
She hesitated before speaking. "But Baelfor....everything you've ever done, has been in order to reunite with him. Everything!"
"I would have found another way." Rumplestiltskin said. "Anything to spare you this pirate's perverse intentions."
"I resent that, I think." She heard Hook mutter.
"And what if you couldn't find another way? What then? Would you really be okay with losing your only chance to find your son? Or would you have resented me for not doing everything within my power, to save and get you that scarf?!" Belle asked, staring searchingly at Rumplestiltskin.
It was telling, his eyes shifting away, Rumplestiltskin looking uncomfortable with her questions. "I would have found another way." Was all he would say, all he would insist on just before more hell broke loose. "I would have found a way so you needn't have had to have sex with that pirate!"
Belle flinched, this time in pain, her own gaze lowering as Hook once again interjected himself into the conversation. "It's more than just sex you know."
"What does he mean?" Rumplestiltskin asked. "Belle, tell me."
"I...I didn't know..." She was whispering. "I didn't know just what he meant when he said the deal was for me to become his woman." She brought her left hand over her eyes, brushing at the tears there. "I thought it was just sex..I didn't know....I didn't know!"
At that point, Rumplestiltskin let out a strangled sound. She looked up in time to see the man launch himself at Hook, his cane knocking the sword out of the pirate's hands. Hook was again knocked to the floor, Rumplestiltskin beating him with a clear cut intention to kill. It would be slow, it would be painful, and it would be final, Belle screaming out loud. Protesting, lurching forward, grabbing at Rumplestiltskin's arm. Being half thrown to the ground, before Rumplestiltskin returned to attempting to beat Hook to death.
"Rumplestiltskin don't!" Belle exclaimed, moving as close to Hook as she could dare. She wasn't about to throw herself on the pirate, but she did move to put herself in the direct line of Rumplestiltskin's sight. Close enough that she lay a hand on both men, relieved when Rumplestiltskin paused.
"Don't stain your soul on this...on him." Belle said. "Don't let your rage blind you, and make you do something you'll regret."
"Trust me Belle, killing Hook is not something I'd ever regret."
"But you would. Not because you'd mourn the man, but that you'd mourn the damage it does to you, to us." Belle retorted. "You're better than this. Prove it to me now, and walk away."
"You.." Rumplestiltskin was struggling, his hands clenching harder on the cane. "You have no right to ask me this....no right at all."
She felt as though he had slapped her, Belle letting out an indignant gasp. "No right? After what I did for you, after the bargain that I struck?"
"Because of the bargain you struck!" Rumplestiltskin shouted. "Belle, I could live with the scarf being destroyed. But this? Knowing you are his? This I can't tolerate!" He dropped the cane, and moved to touch her. To take her face in both his hands, and bend over her. His own eyes looking moist, Belle was sure Rumplestiltskin was going to kiss her.
"Rumple..." She whispered, her hands touching his.
"I have to kill him." Rumplestiltskin's words made her blood go cold. "It's the only way to set things right. To make this okay between us. If you love me..."
"IF?!" Belle interjected in disbelief. "How can you even doubt that, after all I've done?"
"Then you won't interfere. You'll LET me kill him."
"I can't." Belle trembled in his grip. "It's wrong and you know it. You'll be reverting back, undoing all the change you've undertaken. You'll become something else, someone less worthy of reuniting with your son."
"Do not try to use Baelfor to save that miserable wretch's life!" Rumplestiltskin said, abruptly letting go of Belle.
"Then do not try to use my love, my feelings to get me to stand by and let you commit murder!" Belle snapped. "Because it wouldn't justify it, nothing would."
"Not even if it meant you were free from the bargain you struck?"
She froze at Rumplestiltskin's question, aware that both men were watching her. Waiting for her answer. She took a deep breath, knowing she wanted to be free of the mistake she had made, that bargain she had struck without properly understanding it. But even as she yearned to be free, of it and of Hook, she knew it wasn't a reason to commit cold blooded murder.
"Not even for that." Belle admitted, anguished and cringing at the sound of stricken pain Rumplestiltskin let out.
"You were always quick to honor the deals you made." Rumplestiltskin said with a broken sounding laugh. "Quick to sacrifice yourself for the good of another, and yet all of us have proven unworthy of YOU, Belle."
And then she was crying, Rumplestiltskin reaching for her, as though to comfort her. But at the last possible second, he drew back, giving her the saddest look she had ever been privileged to see on him.
"Rumple?"
He took hold of his cane and rose to his feet without another word, Rumplestiltskin adjusting his jacket. He gave her one last sad look, and then turned away. From where she knelt on the floor, Belle cried out, one arm extending towards him, hand reaching for a person who had dismissed her.
"Rumplestiltskin!" Belle cried out, barely aware of the words the two men were exchanging. Hook wasn't attempting to be mocking for once, merely giving over the details of just where the scarf could be found. Rumplestiltskin barely reacted to the news that the scarf was somewhere deep in the harbor, nodding once, then leaving without a backwards glance at Belle.
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To Be Continued...
Here's the part where ya'll will say I'm being too hard on myself. Maybe I am, but I really feel like I didn't do that good a job on this chapter. It was a struggle, and I feel like I can't make it any better than this attempt. T_T Part of it, heck the main complaint is Rumplestiltskin. To me, and this is something I am struggling with with a lot of my Hook Belle fics like Restraint and Taken (though they are not advanced to that part yet.) is how to keep Rumplestiltskin from not getting so crazy that he kills one or both of them. So I feel I guess, like it's almost out of character, or a situation where we all need to suspend our disbelief to believe he walked away without killing somebody. Whether or not he's through with them, is still to be seen of course...but for now all I can say is, I really tried...tried my best...X_X
Also glad to have finished this chapter before the big snow storm hits my area. There's worry that when it does, the power will go out! X_X Erg...hope it doesn't. *flails*
---------Michelle
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