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Bridging The Past	By : IdrilsSecret Category: Supernatural > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1906 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters. No money is being made from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Chapter 4 – Confessions of a Gay Man
There I stood in my bedroom, Castiel at my side, and both of us staring at a white chalk smudge on the inside doorframe. Cas and I had an intense conversation about my past, which included a bit of arguing and eventually led to phenomenal sex in the shower. In the midst of things, I must have forgotten to lock my bedroom door. So, where did this chalky fingerprint come from? I looked back at a Pink Floyd poster on the wall, the one that covered the angel ban symbol, the one I could easily erase to allow Cas to come to me, and then redraw it to lock him in and lock other angels out. This was how we managed lately. Our relationship was a secret. No one knew, not until now.
The poster, which had come loose at one corner, now hung halfway down, both corners undone, and the symbol exposed. Cas and I had been so hot for each other, I forgot to redraw the part I’d erased. It was a dangerous mistake, and Cas had warned me on several occasions to make sure I locked him in when he visited. I didn’t know if it was true of all angels or just Cas, but when he … you know … he was a bit loud and bright, at least to other beings like himself. Guess you could say he was a screamer, if you catch my drift. As long as the symbol was in place, he was hidden from those who pursued him. He couldn’t afford to get caught. There were those who wanted him captured and hauled back to heaven, and others who just wanted him dead.
I examined the chalk drawing and found where the white dust had been lifted by someone’s finger. It wasn’t mine or Cas’, so there was only one other it could be. “Sam,” I said aloud. “Shit! Sam was in my room while we were . . .”
“Do you think he knows?” Castiel asked.
“Well, he was suspicious when he saw your clothes scattered around my room.” Cas had been here earlier, and we were turning up the heat. I had him undressed and waiting in my bed, and at the last minute remembered to seal him in. As I was about to do that, Sam barged into my room. Cas took flight at the first sign of exposure, and Sam never knew he was here, but Cas’ clothes remained behind. I came up with some lame excuse that I was using the clothes for an undercover assignment. Sam and I were looking into a strange case of homeless men disappearing, never to be seen again, but the blood trail had run cold. With Sam eyeing the trademark trench coat, I told him I was going to dress like the homeless and go down to the place where these people disappeared. Sam thought it was a good enough idea, but that dressing like Cas wasn’t homeless looking enough. I didn’t know if he bought it or not. He seemed to at the time, and eventually he left my room. Right after that, Cas materialized once more, wearing someone’s gym shorts and a tank. It was the first thing he found, since he flashed out of here in only his underwear. I was distracted by his cute ass in those tight shorts, and I guess I forgot to lock my bedroom door, as well as redraw the symbol. Cas and I ended up in the shower, and Sam must have come back. And by the looks of it, he’d found my secret symbol as well.
“I’d say there’s a pretty good chance Sam knows about us now,” I told my lover.
“What do you think he’ll do?” Castiel wondered, waiting for me to answer.
I just shrugged my shoulders. What could Sam do? He’d probably confront me, and I would have to confess my secret, but it’s not like he was going to turn Cas in to the angel police. He knew the kind of trouble Cas was in, and he knew we needed him to complete our latest mission. Then, it would finally be out, that his brother liked dick. I was more worried about that conversation than the one about Cas and me. Sam was straight as an arrow. I’d seen him make faces when he saw guys walking hand and hand down the sidewalk. It was a look of disgust, but it didn’t surprise me. That was a normal reaction for straight men before they turned their heads and looked in the opposite direction. I never cared before. It just made it easier for me to determine who to hit on. I didn’t have to worry about that anymore. I had Cas now. There was no one else for me.
“I’ll deal with Sammy. You just worry about yourself,” I told him, pulling him against me. “I wish you didn’t have to go,” I whispered into his neck.
“I wish that too, but I think I better do some investigating, see if anyone was paying attention to angel radio. Make sure to seal your room. If anyone out there heard us, this is the first place they’ll come looking,” he warned.
“Don’t be gone as long this time as the last, alright? I need to see you again, Cas,” I pleaded.
“I’ll be back soon. I promise.” He kissed me and I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his lips moving against mine. I felt the air move and heard the rustle of feathers, and when I opened my eyes, Cas was gone.
I filled in the broken parts of the symbol and taped the poster to the wall again. I’d have to find a better place for the symbol, perhaps the closet or behind the dresser, something better than a flimsy poster. Not now, though. I needed to figure things out first. I sat down at my desk and contemplated how to approach my brother.
“Did you hear any strange noises coming from my bathroom, because that was just me and Cas having sex,” I practiced. I could go the ‘to the point’ route.
Or I could go for a joke. “Hey, you know how they say there’s a little angel in all of us? Well I just had an angel in me, and it was Cas.” No, that’s fucking terrible.
“I’ll just say it,” I said as I left my room. Walking down the hall, I practiced how I would say it. “Sammy, I like guys.” No. “Yeah, so I … uh … I kind of like to sleep with men.” No, not that way either. I rounded the corner to head down the hall that led to Sam’s room, and tried one more way. “Sammy, I’m gay.”
“I know,” came his voice as we ran into each other. We stopped dead in our tracks. I couldn’t look him in the eye, and ran my hand over the hair at the back of my head.
“Oh, you heard that?” I said, embarrassed. Well, at least I didn’t have to break into it slowly.
“Dean, I think we need to talk.”
“Yeah, that’s why I was heading your way. So … umm … well, how’d you figure it out?”
“First, I need a beer,” Sam said, and we went off to the kitchen.
He had cooked earlier. The scent of sautéed mushrooms clung to the air, making my stomach growl. I never thought about eating when Cas was around. I seemed to forget everything but him when he was here, like he was the only sustenance I needed to survive. But right now, I could really go for a–
“Want me to make you something?” Sam asked, as though he read my mind. “I know you’ve been holed up in your room for a while.”
“Yeah, Sammy, that’d be great,” I replied while retrieving a couple beers from the fridge. I popped the tops and gave him one. The tension between us, though, geez … you could cut it with an ax. “Where’d you learn to cook?” I asked when he whipped a steak out of the fridge and threw it in a pan.
“Um, well, from this girl I was seeing,” he answered awkwardly. “At least I can make steak and mushrooms.”
“Not much else you need to know how to make, huh?” I said trying to ease some of the tension. It wasn’t working. “Ok, Sammy, I’m just going to come out and say this. Yes, I’m gay. I have always been this way. No, Dad never knew–”
“You’re screwing Cas?” he came out and blatantly asked.
I took a long swig of my beer, threw my hand up in defeat and nodded. “Yes. I’m screwing Cas.”
“For how long?” The pan sizzled, the smell of browning meat wafting past my nose.
“Oh, for a few months, though he’s been gone for half of that time.”
Sam stabbed the steak with a fork and flipped it. “And how does he get in? I thought this place was warded against his kind.”
“It is, but I found something that lets him through,” I admitted.
“Behind Dad’s old Floyd poster?”
“Yeah.”
The steak was really cooking now, and I kind of wished he still had some mushrooms, but I wasn’t going to press my luck. “Smells good, Sammy,” I smiled.
“Thanks,” he said without enthusiasm. He knew I liked my steak rare, and took it off the stove before it cooked too long. He grabbed a plate and tilted the skillet, letting the steak slide out. Then he put the plate in front of me and set the skillet in the sink. Sam picked up his beer and sat down at the counter on the opposite side of where I was, only a few barstools away. The silverware drawer was over by him, as well as the steak knives.
“Uh, you mind?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah, sorry,” he responded, getting the utensils for me and sliding them along the countertop.
I looked at the delicious smelling Porterhouse in front of me. It was a big steak, and my stomach, though growling, wasn’t exactly wanting food with all the tension in the room. “There’s a lot here. Want half of it?” I asked, making small talk.
That’s when Sam lost it. “Jesus, Dean! You’re sleeping with Castiel? What the hell are you thinking?”
I was chewing a piece of meat, but I couldn’t seem to swallow it. “So … my being gay isn’t the issue here?”
“Shit, I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now. But … Cas? Come on, Dean. He’s an angel,” Sam went on.
“Would it have been easier if you found out I was sleeping with a werewolf or perhaps a shifter?” I said angered.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.” He took another drink of his beer and a deep breath afterwards. “He isn’t … human.” He made that disgusted face that I’d told Cas about earlier, and I was really starting to get pissed off.
I forced myself to swallow the piece of steak and shoved the plate away from me. “No, Sam, I don’t know what you mean. Cas is special, and sometimes he’s a hell of a lot more human than you or I.”
“He’s an angel, Dean. He is not human. He probably shouldn’t even be here on this earth, except for the fact that things are screwed up out there,” Sam complained.
“But he is here, Sam, and we … we … love each other,” I stammered and yelled. If this wasn’t the oddest conversation we’d ever had . . .
“Ok, eww,” Sam replied with that all too familiar look of disgust.
“What are you, five? Eww? Really. That’s the best you’ve got? You know what, I should have expected this from you. What do you want from me? I’m gay, Sam. I like men just as you like women. And I can love them just the same, too.”
“Dean, I get that your gay. Actually, I’m glad that you’ve finally told me. I think part of me has always suspected it, but I was too afraid to confront you about it. So that’s great, you’re out of the closet. But we’re talking about Cas. You’re sleeping with an angel, a celestial being from heaven. Don’t you see something wrong with that?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, my anger ready to burst. “You know what?” I said calmly, surprising myself. “Fuck you, Sammy. You don’t know anything about it. You know nothing if you think I’m just screwing Cas for the novelty of it. He’s been there for me in times when I thought no one else was. And that includes you, little brother. He believes in me, and even after learning about my flaws, he still loves me.”
“Are you even listening to yourself? What the hell have we been trying to do? Our mission, the one Cas has, supposedly, been helping us with. Have you forgotten that we’re trying to close the gates to both heaven and hell? What then? Cas will have to leave with the rest of the angels when that happens. Are you going with him? Are you going to trap him on earth? It’s not right, Dean. Angels and humans … it shouldn’t even exist.”
I slammed my fist down on the counter, making the silverware jump and clank together. “You will not persuade me one way or the other. Don’t you think I’ve considered the future? I’m a hunter. I take it wherever I can get it, but it’s not enough anymore. For a long time, I’ve been afraid to give my heart to someone. I’ve avoided relationships since Aiden–” I stopped short. I’d never meant to say his name, the name of the boy I once loved, the one who tragically turned into a vampire, the one I had to kill, sliding a needle in his neck, and injecting him with dead man’s blood as I whispered my love for him.
“Aiden? The guy you hunted with when you struck out of your own?” Sam asked.
I was shocked that he knew about Aiden. Back then, Sam was a kid in high school, living with Bobby while Dad and I continued the business. I was twenty and eager for a taste of independence, which my father reluctantly gave me. “Yes, that Aiden.”
“You and him–?”
I hung my head and closed my eyes. This was a touchy subject for me. “Not at first. We hunted. We made a good team. And then after a while we … figured each other out.”
“Oh,” Sam said quietly. He couldn’t look at me, but I could tell he had questions. He was just wanting to understand me better, and I didn’t blame him.
“Go on. What do you want to know?” I said.
“Oh, well … uh … no … that’s ok,” he said nervously.
“It’s alright, Sam. You’ve got questions. Maybe it will help you understand the lifestyle better,” I encouraged.
He was silent for a moment and I began to think he didn’t want to know anything more. It was a lot to take in all at once. But then, he opened up a little. “Was that when you learned about your . . .?”
“That I was gay? No. I think I’ve always known. It’s just who I am,” I answered.
“Oh,” Sam said and became silent again. He downed some of his beer and asked another question. “Was he your … first?”
“He wasn’t my first experience. That happened in high school. You know, those few days that I went,” I chided. I missed a lot of the high school scene because I was off hunting with Dad, and Sammy knew it. He smiled and huffed a laugh. I continued. “Aiden was the first guy I ever loved, though.”
“So, all this was happening, and you never thought to share it with me?” Sam sounded a bit hurt, which surprised me.
“I didn’t think you’d understand, or that maybe you wouldn’t accept it. I don’t know. It was just easier to keep to myself, you know?”
Sam nodded in agreement, the crease between his brows deepening. I could tell he still had questions. “So when Aiden … died … that’s when you came to stay with Bobby and me, isn’t it?”
I looked down and away, and cleared my throat of the lump trying to make its way up. “Yeah, I … needed some time. Dad came and got me, brought me to Bobby’s. I never told him anything about my choice, and I don’t think he ever suspected anything. As far as he knew, Aiden was my hunting partner and a good friend. At least he allowed me time to mourn.”
“Seems to me you never really stopped mourning him,” Sam pointed out.
“It was a long time ago, Sammy. It took me a long time to get over what happened to Aiden. It was very harsh and cruel, and I’ll not speak of it right now. But I’ll say this. When I made that deal with the crossroads demon to save your life, it wasn’t a tough decision for me to make, and not just because I was saving you,” I admitted. This was territory that Sam and I never spoke of once everything was all said and done. “I did my time in hell, and if it wasn’t for Cas, I’d still be there, but at the time, I thought it was what I deserved to compensate for what I’d done. Turns out I was wrong, and it was Cas that helped me get back on the right path. The healing was a long time coming, and my reward has been Castiel. Now, I know you don’t agree, and that’s fine, but in the end it is my decision, and I choose him. I need him right now. He makes me stronger, keeps me on the straight and narrow.”
“You’re right, Dean. I don’t agree, but it’s not up to me. All I can do is voice my opinion, and you know how I feel.”
“I can accept that,” I said. “Now, let me eat in peace. I’m starving.”
* * * * *
Three weeks had passed since the last time I saw Cas. I was beginning to worry about him. Something must have gone wrong. I tried calling to him, but he never came. If anything happened to Cas because of a stupid mistake on my part, I . . .
No, I didn’t even want to think about it. Cas was capable of taking care of himself. Although, there had been times when he’d gotten in too deep in the past. He was good now. He realized his mistakes, was given another chance to do the right thing. If he was doing anything wrong now, it was being with me, and I didn’t think that was all that bad, not after the other crap he did.
It got a little better between Sam and me. I actually felt better, now that things were out in the open. The proverbial weight was lifted from my shoulders to a degree. I still didn’t think he fully understood me, but that was alright. I didn’t expect him to get it overnight. But the whole thing with Cas and me being together, I could tell it bothered him. At just the mention of his name, Sam would cringe. It was too close to home, I think. Cas had been our friend for a few years now, before we became lovers. So for Sam to think of him any other way, well, it was too much, I guess.
Sam and I were heavy into doing some research. We’d heard over the police scanner that the body of one of the homeless victims had been discovered in a land fill, drained of blood. It was the first body discovered. All the rest had never turned up anywhere. I kept looking at our options as far as what kind of creature could have done this, but my gut was telling me something I didn’t want to hear.
“I’ll go down and inspect the body, but I’m positive it’s vamps. It makes sense that they would be taking homeless. They won’t be missed and no one will come looking for them,” Sam argued, making his point. I knew he was right. I just wasn’t ready to deal with another nest. We hadn’t come across vampires in a long while, and if we never did again, it would be too soon.
“Alright then, now we see if we can find where they’re holed up. The area around where the body was found will be a good place to start,” I said. Just then, my cell rang. I looked at the screen, but I didn’t recognize the number. This was my personal phone. Only a few people had this number.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Dean.” It was Cas.
“Hey,” I said, probably a bit too cheerily, but I was glad to hear his voice. “Where are you?” Cas never called my phone, though he had the number. I wrote it down a while back and made him keep it with him at all times.
“I can’t really talk. I need somewhere to stay. Can I come by?”
“You know you can. But why are you calling?” I asked.
“It’s not safe to travel like I usually do. Every time I do, they can trace me. I’m coming the old fashioned way.”
“Through the front door then. Yeah, come on over. See you soon.” I hung up and set the phone back on the table.
“That Cas?” Sam asked.
“Yeah, he’s on his way.” I tried not to sound too eager and kept myself from smiling.
“The normal way? What’s going on?” At least Sam sounded concerned.
“I don’t know. He said he can’t poof around like usual. Flight risk I guess.” I glanced at my brother out of the corner of my eye. “Are you going to be here when he shows up?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. I thought you might feel a little … weird about it or something.”
“Dean, I may not agree with what the two of you are doing, but Cas is still a friend and an important ally.”
I just nodded at him. I wasn’t going to stir anything up before Cas got here, so I went back to my work. My dad’s book of everything supernatural sat before me, but I didn’t need to search through it to know what we were going to have to hunt. Vamps were rare anymore. They’d been hunted almost to extinction. The ones that were still out there were very cautious. They were careful where they found their food. Preying on the homeless was a smart idea, for a bloodsucker. Not sure why they were targeting men, except that there seemed to be more of them than women.
Sam and I got out a map and located the area where the body was found. We traced out possible locations where a nest might be, coming to agreement easily. We’d head out in the morning. Tonight we would get our vamp artillery ready. About an hour into it, Cas showed.
I looked up and Cas was standing in the threshold. He had some cut marks on his face, as though he’d been in a fight. I saw him before Sam did, and our eyes locked.
“Dean,” he said quietly.
I gave only a slight smile, afraid to show too much emotion with Sam here. “Hey Cas.” I pointed towards the marks on his face. “What happened there?”
He didn’t answer right away. He just stared at me a moment, then glanced at my brother. “Hello Sam.”
“Hi Cas.” Sam said, his brows drawing together. Something was a bit off about our angel friend. “You ok?”
“Yeah, I … I’m just … a bit tired.”
“You look like hell,” I said, but concern fell across my face. I looked at Sam before I went to him, as though I needed his permission first. Sam must have sensed this because he gave a brief nod and turned away for a moment. I went to Cas, crossing the room in only a few strides. I felt this pull between us, and I just needed to touch him. I hadn’t seen him in a while. At a closer look, I could see where his skin was beginning to swell and turn red. Someone had punched the crap out of him. My hand automatically went to his shoulder, but he didn’t reach for me. He just looked at me, searching for something, some kind of strength that he was hoping to find within my eyes.
“Cas?” I whispered, confused.
His hand lifted to my face, his palm cupping my cheek. “Dean,” he said, and then his eyes rolled up so only the whites showed. His legs gave out and he started to fall.
I caught him before he hit the floor and shouted out to my brother. “Sammy!”
Sam was there in a flash. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. He just went down. Let’s get him to the couch.” I grabbed Cas under the arms and Sam grabbed his ankles, and together we got him to the sofa. “Get some water or whisky or … something. I don’t know.”
“I’ll get water,” Sam said and he ran off to the kitchen.
With him gone, I ran my fingers through Cas’ hair at the side of his head. “Cas. You in there? Cas, wake up.”
His eyes fluttered open and he tried to smile. There was a cut on his bottom lip that opened and started to bleed as his lips stretched. “Dean, it’s so good to see you.”
“Yeah, you too,” I answered, smiling in return. “What happened?”
“Th-they were after me. I almost … got away, but–” He winced.
“It’s alright, don’t try to talk. Just rest. You fainted. Sam’s getting something for the wounds,” I comforted him, kneeling next to him where he laid on the couch.
Cas reached for his coat and unbuttoned it to about the middle. He could barely move, and I helped him. As I did, there was no mistaking the metallic scent of blood, and my heart lurched to my throat. I pushed the trench coat open and confirmed my fear. His shirt was soaked in fresh blood. I undid the shirt quickly and discovered a deep slice across his stomach. I could feel the anger rising in me. “Who did this to you?” I demanded in a low tone.
“Angels,” he answered.
By then, Sam was back with a bowl of water and a rag. He handed them to me and looked over my shoulder to the wound on Cas’ stomach. “What the hell?”
I didn’t think twice about my brother standing behind me. All I knew was that I needed to tend to Cas. I took the rag and dipped it in the water, squeezed out the excess and started wiping his face. I don’t know what made me do that. It was obvious that the wound on his stomach was a much more serious matter, but I didn’t want to come off as frazzled. I forced myself to smile at him. “It’s gonna be alright, Cas. I got you now.” I glanced over my shoulder to Sam. “Get some gauze from our emergency kit. We need to stop the bleeding from that wound,” I said calmly. Sam went.
“Cas,” I said bringing his attention back to me. “You’ve got a hell of a cut on your stomach. Can’t you heal yourself or something?”
“Not … enough … strength. Angel … blade,” he answered. He smiled pitifully, but I saw the determination in those bright blue eyes. “Rest.”
Those angel blades were nasty weapons, capable of killing an angel easily. Even a cut was enough to open the vessel and let the spirit leak out. It must have taken every ounce of his energy to keep from spilling his soul or his grace, or whatever it was. But if he didn’t heal soon, he could very well die.
Sam had the gauze, and together, we managed to get Cas temporarily bandaged up. When we were done, I covered his forehead with my palm. He felt warm, not cold. I guess that was a good thing, at least it was for humans. Cas wasn’t human though.
“Isn’t there something we can do for him?” Sam asked desperately.
“Not unless you’ve got another angel on speed dial,” I answered. I shook my head. “I don’t trust any of them. It was angels that tried to kill him. They found him, Sam, and I’m afraid it was my fault.”
“Well, I think he’s safe here,” was all Sam said in return.
I nodded, but I never took my eyes off Cas. “Yeah, he just needs some rest.”
“We’ll hold off on the hunt until he’s well.”
“Good. Thanks.” I watched my brother head off to his room. Then I took a seat and stayed at Cas’ side as he slept. I wanted to be there in case anything went wrong.
* * * * *
I couldn’t look away from him for a long time, always watching his chest to see that it was rising and falling. It was, but very slow and deep. He laid there so still, it was frightening. My attention switched to his face, and I studied his features. He had long dark lashes and big beautiful blue eyes when they were opened. And his lips were so full and kissable. I wished that he would open his eyes and smile at me, tell me everything was going to be just fine. He would, I reassured myself. He just needed time to heal.
To look at him like this made me contemplate something. Cas was not human. He was an angel, able to heal instantly, able to live forever. And who was I compared to someone like him? I was just a man, and one that I still wasn’t sure was worth having the attention and love of a person like Cas. But he wasn’t a person, not really. He was so much more important than me, yet here he was.
There were times when he seemed so vulnerable and gullible, so child-like that I just wanted to take him in my arms and protect him from the world. And then, there were times when I witnessed his strength and his wrath, when he outwardly showed his true form, and I knew he did not need me for protection. If anything, it was usually Cas watching over me, merely a mortal man full of guilt and decorated in sin. It confused me sometimes, whatever it was this angel saw in me.
Watching him now, hurt and bleeding, in a deep slumber, he just looked like a man. Well, he was in the vessel of a man anyways, and the real Cas was temporarily logged out to conserve energy and get back on his feet. He was two different entities, I thought. That idea led me to think about this so called vessel that Cas the angel occupied. I had met him once, the real man, Jimmy Novak. Such a peaceful soul he had. He was just your average family guy with a wife and a little girl who loved him. That man, the real one, he would never have seen me as Cas did. It disturbed me a bit to think about that. Jimmy would have been disgusted to know the things I’d done to his body. He was as straight as they came, a family man, a religious man. I assumed his opinion on homosexuality was one of blasphemy. Not that we ever discussed it, but it was just an impression I got. He was a good man, though, and in the end, he gave his life for Castiel. Jimmy Novak sacrificed himself so that an angel could walk the earth in human form. Jimmy’s soul had departed long ago, and Cas basically moved in and occupied the vessel all by himself. Cas had told me once what it had been like to share a body with someone. For the most part, Jimmy was at peace, but every once in a while, he would see something through Cas’ eyes or hear something through his ears. If it was significant, Jimmy would scream out to be heard. Cas ignored him in times like these, but it hurt nonetheless.
So who or what had I given my heart to, the man or the angel? I could never lay my eyes upon the celestial being. Humans weren’t meant to see them or they’d die a horrible eye exploding death, and only a few could hear them without being in agonizing pain. I was not one of them, surprisingly. No, I could only be with Cas while he was in human form, inside Jimmy. I considered that a moment. Had he chosen a less desirable form, would I still have feelings for him? A certain percentage of appeal for someone was visual. It shouldn’t matter, but that is just part of being human. For Cas, I knew he saw me beyond skin and bone. He saw my soul, my aura. He was drawn to that before everything else, at least that’s what he told me once. But he was not human, and I was.
All these bizarre thoughts were giving me a headache. I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I didn’t want to remember the family man, Jimmy, who would never accept me or my sexuality. And I didn’t want to think about the real Cas who I could never see, touch or hear. Most of all, I didn’t want to know what any of this meant for the future. Was this just temporary? I was afraid to consider it for I was in too deep with Cas. Something would work out … I hoped. It had to. And with those lingering thoughts, I fell asleep in the chair beside Cas’ sleeping form, dreaming of a normal life once again. Why did it always come to that sort of longing?
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Bridging The Past