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a clear call (that may not be denied)	By : onekisstotakewithme Category: Star Trek > Star Trek Views: 490 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
After another round of lovemaking – Spock determined to wring every bit of pleasure and madness from his body through sex with Jim – Jim dozes off, exhausted by the strain on his body, feeling both wrung out and satiated.
When he wakes again, he can feel the ache of his body, the coolness of the air on his skin, having thrown aside the silk sheets sometime while he slept.
He props himself up on one elbow, already worried about what to say to Spock, but the sheets beside him are cool and empty, and he can hear the sound of water running close by.
There’s no clock in the room, but Jim can see the long shadows outside, and the sun sinking towards the horizon.
Evening, then.
As Jim sits up, rubbing a hand over his face, the sheets slip down, revealing the handprint bruises Spock left on his hips.
Still, he think, shifting his legs gingerly in place, nothing appears to be significantly damaged.
He gently presses at one of the bruises, hissing through his teeth at the throb of pain that meets him.
He lifts the sheet away from his body, examining himself for further injuries, but he seems to be in one piece.
Jim lets out a deep, shaky breath, again turning to look out at the Fire Plains and the long shadows of the evening.
He can’t say he’s sorry that Spock is in the shower – although some small, hurt part of him is wondering if Spock is washing away all traces of their encounter – because upon reflection, he has no idea what he’s going to say to the man.
It isn’t that he regrets it. In fact, Jim would gladly do it again if it meant saving Spock’s life.
But he can’t deny that this changes things.
To distract himself, he again probes at his bruises, wondering how deep they go, before hearing a gasp.
He looks up, only to see Spock, standing there in a pair of loose trousers – which look to be traditional Vulcan wear – and no shirt, trails of water still dripping down his chest.
Only Spock’s eyes are fixed on the handprint bruises he’s left on Jim’s body.
“Jim,” he says quietly. “You are hurt.”
“What, this? It’s nothing, it’s only…”
“I did that to you,” Spock says, and he’s remarkably calm as he walks over to the bed, sitting down next to Jim, his long fingers carefully brushing over the bruises. “Those look most painful.”
“I’ll be alright.”
Jim is examining his best friend for signs of madness, but his skin is reassuringly cool against Jim’s – only then Jim realizes that he’s still very much naked, and covers himself hastily with the sheet.
“Are you alright?” he asks, to distract himself from his own state of undress. “You seem… much recovered.”
“Yes, Captain. The fever has broken. The madness is gone.”
“Good, that’s… that’s good. Nice to know that my hunch worked.”
Something flashes in Spock’s eyes, but Jim can’t place it.
“And yourself, Captain? Are… are you well?”
“A little sore,” he admits. “But nothing a few days of rest won’t cure.”
The silence between them is surprisingly uncomfortable, the two of them both staring out at the sunset.
And then Spock says, his voice as calm as ever, “I will of course be resigning my commission, effective immediately.”
Jim’s mouth falls open in shock, momentarily stunned into speechlessness.
The only betrayal of emotion is the way Spock’s fists are clenched in the bedsheets as he continues. “It is regrettable that this should have happened, Captain. I apologize.”
“What the devil do you mean resign your commission?”
“Captain…” Spock turns and Jim swears he can see regret on his friend’s face. “Jim. It would be illogical for me to remain at your side after degrading you in such a way. I alone should live with the shame of it.”
“Degraded me?” Jim repeats, confused. “Spock, if this is about consent, I-”
“You were coerced into it by circumstance. You did not come willingly to my bed, and you do not desire me. How could I stay at your side, knowing what I have done? The only logical response is for me to resign.”
“The hell you will! Spock, don’t you understand? You were dying. You’d have done the same for me without thinking twice about it!”
“Captain-”
“I don’t regret it, Spock. I would do it again in a heartbeat.”
“Jim, I have had the privilege of spending many years among humans. What just happened – I know humans cannot be casual where intimate relations are involved.”
Jim reels as if slapped. “What?”
“Jim, if there is something there, something you felt… I do not wish to be the source of your unhappiness. I am already the architect of my own purgatory.”
“Spock, I’m glad you’ve worked out how you feel in that big Vulcan brain of yours, but have you stopped to consider my feelings?”
Spock’s eyes flicker with some unknowable emotion. “Your… feelings?”
“You’re being awful presumptuous about my feelings, so why not ask me? I have never felt anything for you, save friendship. I know what a one-night stand is. And I didn’t intend to let this come between us – dammit man, I was saving your life!”
“And I am grateful. But-”
“No,” Jim cuts him off. “I have never asked anything of you, save your respect and your friendship. I am not willing to lose that over this.”
Spock’s silence is pointed, telling Jim everything he needs to know.
His heart sinks. “Is that… why you haven’t signed on yet for another tour?”
“I thought I would be dead at this point,” Spock admits. “It did not seem logical, when I felt the first stirrings of the pon farr, to sign on for a mission I would never see.”
“And now?” Jim challenges. “What about now?”
“Captain, I do not wish to make you uncomfortable.”
“Spock, I wouldn’t worry,” Jim says, feeling anger tighten in his chest along with anxiety. How could this have backfired on him so fast? He’d wanted to save Spock’s life, not push him away! “I think I can control myself around you.”
“Your control is not in doubt. What about the next time, Jim? Shall I continue to force you to act in a way not befitting a starship captain? Will you always be at the beck and call of drives more ancient than either of us?”
“Spock, you keep saying you forced me, coerced me. But that is not what happened.”
“Can you honestly say that what has happened would have happened without the pon farr making it a necessity for my survival?”
“Yes.”
There’s another pointed silence, the two old friends looking at each other.
“I will stay on for the remainder of the mission,” Spock says at last. “And after that, I shall resign.”
“And what of your duty to Starfleet?”
“My first duty is to my Captain… and I have already failed you.”
“You have done no such thing, Spock.”
“Jim…” Spock’s eyes are sad, his gaze dropping instead of meeting Jim’s. “I cannot remain aboard the Enterprise.”
“I told you to let me help. I didn’t intend to cast you aside afterwards. I want you to come back with me.”
“Why?”
“Because you are the best first officer in the fleet. You are a credit to your uniform, to your planet, and most of all to me. But Spock, none of that actually matters.”
“Captain?”
“I want you to stay… I am asking you to stay, because above all else, you are my friend.”
Spock sighs, but as he opens his mouth to speak further, there’s a buzzing sound from the front room.
“Excuse me, Jim. I should answer that,” Spock says, and leaves.
Jim, who is spoiling somewhat for a fight, is put out.
He’s still winded, blindsided by the idea that Spock could ever leave.
Spock, leave the Enterprise? Starfleet would fall.
He can hear the sound of Sarek’s voice, and not wanting to meet the Ambassador again while in a state of undress, he climbs gingerly out of bed, and tugs on his pants.
His shirt, as usual, is a lost cause, so he digs into the bureau of the room, pulling out a loose tunic that must belong to Spock.
He tugs it over his head, and is relieved when it fits, pressing his face into the cloth, smelling the spicy scent of the Vulcan-made soap Spock uses, a scent that Jim could pick out anywhere.
Jim wonders if he’s being rude, hiding away from Sarek, but the same niggling thought from before erupts to the forefront of his mind, momentarily drowning out the anguish that washes over him in waves when he thinks about losing Spock.
He sits down on the end of the bed, disquieted, and is still sitting there a few moments later, when Spock walks back into the room, the door gliding shut behind him.
“Spock, you said your father prepared this place for you to stay… why didn’t he stay with you?”
Spock betrays no confusion at this change of subject. “Elaborate.”
“I understand Vulcans parent their children differently from us humans, but why would he not stay if he knew you were dying?”
“He did not,” Spock says.
“Why not? It was obvious just from looking at you-”
“It was obvious that I was in the throes of pon farr. But I did not tell him. I did not wish to cause him embarrassment, and he did not ask. Fortunately, it is now a moot point. I live.”
Thanks to me, Jim thinks, somewhat bitterly.
But there’s an apprehension in the air, one that makes him unwilling to continue the conversation.
“I told him what happened,” Spock says, sitting down next to Jim.
“I imagine he was surprised.”
“Well… actually no, Captain. He was not.”
Jim blinks, confused. “Explain.”
There’s a delicate pause, as Spock turns to meet his gaze. “You understand, Captain, the concept of Koon-ut-kal-if-fee?”
“Yes, I do,” Jim says, swearing he can feel the phantom sensation of the ahn woo around his neck, the sting of the lirpa across his chest. “Marriage or challenge, correct?”
“Yes.”
“And when you were supposed to marry T’Pring, she instead chose the challenge, I remember. Your betrothal was dissolved, and that was the end of it.”
“Captain, as my father has informed me, by our laws that was not the end of it.”
Jim blinks. “Oh?”
“I told you before that Vulcans killed to win their mates. But when I thought I had killed you, and did not win T’Pring…”
“What, Spock?”
“You are not dead.”
“Yes, and a good thing too, or else you’d have been in big trouble. Where is this going, Spock?”
“Jim… Vulcan law dictates that surviving the kal-if-fee is how you win your mate. We both survived.”
“So my being alive really did muddle the issue. Spock, are you saying…?”
“According to our laws and customs, you are not only my Captain… but my mate.”
Jim blinks hard, staring at Spock without comprehending. “Your mate.”
“There was of course, no formal ceremony. But that is why my father was not surprised to see you here. He understood that I was here for pon farr.”
“So he knew the whole time, that crafty old… Spock, did you know?”
Spock averts his gaze, a faint green flush appearing on his face. “I… did not, at first, but I began to suspect recently.”
“How recently?”
“When I first… began to feel the effects,” Spock says haltingly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because, Captain, I did not wish for you to feel bound by a contract you had not willingly entered.”
“How do you mean?” Jim asks, still reeling at the idea.
“Our bond is recognized by Vulcan, and Vulcan alone. You are not legally married to me in the eyes of the Federation.”
“Then it won’t be an issue if you stay on the Enterprise.”
“No. It is a personal matter, a private matter. There would be no record of it. So there is also nothing that would affect your career.”
“The hell with my career. Spock, I don’t want you to feel that you have to stay on the Enterprise with me because of this bond – but nor do I want you to feel that you have to leave. I want you to want to stay.”
“And you, Captain?”
“You are my best friend, my first officer… I want to explore the galaxy and I want you by my side while I do it. But I won’t force you. What this is… is a matter of biology. You don’t owe me anything, Spock. You haven’t sworn any oath to me.”
“No, Captain, you are quite correct. My only oath is to Starfleet… But nonetheless…”
“Please, stay. We’ve seen a lot in the past five years, Spock. Imagine what we could see in the next five! What do you say?”
“I… I do not know.”
“One more mission, Spock. That’s all I ask of you.”
“But will you accept me as your first officer, knowing what you know?”
“I will accept you for who you are,” Jim says, holding out his fingers for a Vulcan kiss. “As I always have.”
Spock presses his fingers against Jim’s, the sensation bittersweet.
Jim takes a deep breath. “Spock… will you do me the honour of signing on for another five-year mission as my first officer?”
“There is no one else you’d prefer?”
“No. A wise woman once said that you belong at my side, and always will – and there’s a lot of space left to see. I want to see it together. What do you say?”
Spock gazes out at the scenery, the sun painting his face in shades of gold, his voice soft. “I accept… Jim.”
“Then we have all the time in the world.”
Spock, for the first time since this ordeal began, smiles. “And filled with tomorrows.”
End.
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a clear call (that may not be denied)