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Darkest Nights	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1451 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters and I'm not making money from this.

Chapter List
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What was happening to him?
George glanced down at himself as he showered for the third time in twenty-four hours. He had gotten the dirty feeling that had plagued him under control, but now it was back again in full force. The feeling that all the showers in the world wouldn't get him clean pervaded him as strongly as ever, as did everything else. The self-blame, the flashbacks, panic attacks, and nightmares, the exaggerated startle reflex, the agoraphobia, the inability to trust anyone around him… He had moved past a lot of it, at first; the agoraphobia and some of the self-blame had mostly vanished.
And then he'd had the flashback.
He couldn't understand why that one thing was affecting him so strongly, and there wasn't anything he was able to do to stop it. He was even more traumatized now than he had been right after he'd been found; at first, he had at least been able to trust Elliot, but now he couldn't trust anyone at all.
He rubbed the soap over his body again, almost viciously, still trying to get clean even though he knew it would do no good. A small dribble of blood began to roll down his arm.
And the sight of his own blood was enough to send his mind back there.
George whimpered and curled into himself as he felt the blood pouring out from between his legs. All but one of his attackers had raped him, one after the other, and he was in so much pain that he could hardly breathe. It hurt every sinew in his body just to expand his chest.
This had been the longest torture session yet. He'd been gang-raped, burned, cut, whipped, stomped and punched and kicked- in fact, he wondered how he was still alive, because there should have been internal injuries from all the assaults. But he supposed that they'd held back just enough to prevent it.
He tensed as the remaining attacker flipped him over, this time so that he was looking at the ceiling. He couldn't do this again; he was in too much pain. He closed his eyes, trying to pretend he was somewhere- anywhere- else.
He could almost feel Elliot's gentle arms wrapping around him…
Elliot was looking for him. Elliot cared. He knew it was true, and it was his only drive not to infuriate his attackers until they killed him. But he'd hold on, and then Elliot would find him and take him home-
His attackers jolted him back to the present. Two of them moved behind him and pulled him upwards, to his knees.
The world tipped and spun around him- he'd lost too much blood for him to be able to handle the change in position so suddenly. His vision grayed, then faded to black, and his entire body went limp, his head lolling alarmingly. He fought frantically against the void of unconsciousness, the inviting feeling of unawareness that threatened to engulf him. He needed to be alert now, more than ever- but he couldn't move his body. He was fainting.
They shook him violently. "Pass out, and we will make sure you regret it. Got it?"
George fought to open his eyelids. "I-I'm t-try-trying!" he choked. What they were asking him was impossible. Even though he had no sense of time anymore, he knew it had been at least a few days since he'd eaten. And the pain he was in, and the fatigue- he couldn't stay awake-
"You deserve… regret it…" he vaguely heard them say. He struggled against the inevitable for as long as he could, but was all for naught. He slumped forward, unconscious.
He woke up when he felt the skin on the sole of his foot burning. He yelped and jerked, kicking his foot reflexively to stop his attackers. They growled and snapped, "What did we tell you about fighting back?"
"I-" he gave a squeak of fear. "Please, I-I can't, I tried not to-"
They backhanded him brutally hard, making stars appear in his vision. His vision swam so violently that he was sure he was going to fall right back into darkness. But he clawed his way to the surface, knowing that it would only get worse if he disobeyed them again. "I'm s-sorry," he whispered desperately. "Please, please believe me…"
"Shut up," the leader hissed. He pulled George to his knees again, the he lowered his pants. George tried to shy away, but the knife was once again pressed against his jugular vein.
Pictures of the man he cared for, the man he wanted and needed to save him, flashed through his mind. "Elliot," he whimpered, wishing that Elliot could hear him.
"He isn't coming," the attacker snarled. "Why would anyone try to rescue YOU, when there are much better people out there who actually DESERVE to be saved?"
George swallowed hard, knowing that the man was right. He deserved this, and no one was going to disagree. Even if they did, they were wrong. "You're right," he whispered hopelessly, lowering his head.
"About what?" The attacker demanded, taunting him. Rubbing salt in his wounds, like always.
"Me," George said. He tried to keep himself from crying, because they'd hurt him badly the last time he had, but he didn't entirely succeed. He kept his voice steady, but the tears still streamed down his face. "You're right about me. I deserve all of this, I'm a terrible person. No one's going to bother to save me- I'm not worth the effort."
Chuckling softly, the man burned George's kneecaps, relishing his hiss of pain, and pulled him upwards, making him sit on the new burns. George tried to shift his weight, but his attacker reacted by kicking him between his legs. George gasped and almost fell over, but he found himself being pinned in place by the other men.
His attacker finished undressing, and he pressed his erection against George's face. George knew immediately what he wanted, and he clenched his teeth, preventing his attacker from accessing his mouth.
But then one of them stepped forward and punched him right over his left eye, and George cried out in pain. He tried to protect his face with his hands, but they pinned him in place. The leader took the opportunity to thrust into George's mouth.
George tried to squirm, but he one of his attackers held the knife up to his neck. He whimpered and forced himself to go limp, letting the man go deeper inside his burning throat.
The oral rape was as bad, if not worse, than the anal penetration. He gagged, choked and gasped, hardly able to breathe. He took a quick gasp of air every time his attacker pulled out, but then the air was knocked back out of his lungs a second later.
His throat was on fire by the time the man finally spilled into him. George coughed out most of the fluid, barely aware of anything but the burning pain radiating through his entire body. His hands were finally free, and he raised one to hold his throat, and the other to the spot that would turn into a black eye soon; probably in a few hours.
The dizziness, which had abated after he lost consciousness, was back again in full force. He moaned weakly, and it sounded even worse than usual because of how hoarse his voice was. He wished they would give him some water, but he knew they weren't done yet.
"You think we're done, don't you! But you passed out when we told you not to!" One of his attackers roared. "We told you-"
"I'm sorry," George rasped, hand still massaging his throat. "I tried not to, I-"
"Don't you dare interrupt us!" The leader spat. "You never learn, do you?"
George swallowed painfully and looked at the floor, not wanting to see the blows that he knew were coming. A second later, they pushed him to the ground and burned the soles of his feet again.
They grabbed the knife, and George no longer needed any more prompting than that. "I deserve this," he whispered hoarsely. "No one's going to bother saving a worthless, pathetic person like me. Especially not Elliot…"
A vicious slice against his back, and George screamed in pain. Desperately trying to convince them to leave him alone, even if only for a little while, he wailed, "I deserve it! I understand, you don't need to convince me anymore! I deserve it! I'm worthless and pathetic and arrogant and a terrible person!"
"If you truly understood, you wouldn't be asking us to stop! You'd just accept that you deserve it!" The leader snapped.
Once again, George's world dissolved in a whirlwind of pain; he lost track of time, his thoughts. He didn't register whether he was the one who was screaming, or if he was just hearing someone else, from a distance.
Elliot sighed softly as he heard George entering yet another flashback. He had seen so many people go through PTSD, but George was worse than most of the victims Elliot had seen. If George didn't have the worst case of PTSD Elliot had ever seen, he still came close.
Elliot started sprinting towards the upstairs bathroom when he heard a loud wail of pain and fear coming from the shower. He felt a wave of nausea come over him as he listened to George pleading with his attackers.
As he ran, he gritted his teeth and wished every terrible thing he could think of on the bastards who had done this to his George, who had taken everything from his and still took more, who had convinced George that he was a terrible and unlovable person.
He wanted to make all of them pay for ruining George's life like this.
But once again, he bottled his rage up, not caring about anything or anyone but George.
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Darkest Nights