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Ignorance is Bliss	By : Khaleesi-Of-Dragons Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time Views: 2313 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Any and all songs used belong to their respective owners.

Chapter List
- 1-Ignorance is Bliss
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-Season Two: Knowledge is Power
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-Season Three: All Good Things
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 44-44
- 45-45
- 46-46
- 47-47
- 48-48
- 49-49
- 50-50
- 51-51
- 52-52
- 53-53
- 54-54
- 55-55
- 56-56
- 57-57
- 58-Season Four: To Those who Wait
- 59-59
- 60-60
- 61-61
- 62-62
- 63-63
- 64-64
- 65-65
- 66-66
- 67-67
- 68-68
- 69-69
- 70-70
- 71-71
- 72-72
- 73-73
- 74-74
- 75-75
- 76-76
- 77-77
- 78-78
- 79-80
- 80-81
- 81-82
- 47
- 48
- 49
Depression is a hard thing to fight, it's crippling and painful and I just want to rise above it, but I every time I try, I feel like I just get sucked further under the heavy black tide of it. It's like facing up against a dragon with only a stick as a weapon—the beast is big and scary and makes me want to curl up and end everything. I stay curled up in a ball on the cold stone of the dungeon, eyes closed as I pray once more for sleep.
My dreams make the world disappear, in them I'm back in my castle with Papa and we're practicing magic. I'm safe and warm there, but when I'm awake everything comes rushing back. The cold, the hunger pains, the pain of having my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. Sure, Pan kept trying to talk to me, to keep me off the edge, but I had grown used to ignoring him as the weeks wore on. The Wicked Witch made appearances every other day, gloating until she felt better about herself.
I've made drowning her out an art form, her words going in one ear and out the other. Why should I care if she hates Regina? I don't give a shit who she hates because it doesn't change anything, I'm still a prisoner here and she's still a green-skinned toad lady.
Lately it's been quiet, no visits and no food or fresh water. The nightmares keep me up most nights now, the same one playing over and over every time I close my eyes. In it I was the one to kill Papa, I was left kneeling over his body with bloody hands and his dagger. The sweet dreams had vanished and I felt like I was about to fall over the edge into the dark abyss of insanity.
And then one day I heard voices, familiar and echoing off the stone. Distinctly male, speaking of how they would need to clean out the dungeons ad make repairs to the stables. And then the voices cut off abruptly, their footsteps loud as they run towards the cells, the bars screeching in protest as they're opened for the first time in what seems like forever. I stare up at the man kneeling beside me, taking in his worry briefly even before I could place where I've seen him before.
He has a dark beard streaked through with white, large nose, and eyes that look older than the rest of him. At the moment, his mouth is moving as he speaks, his words distorted and unintelligible to my ears as I focus on picturing him with his mouth firmly fixed in a frown. Leroy….Grumpy….Dwarf. Had they taken the castle? I close my eyes, meaning to blink away the exhaustion that plagues me, but instead I fall deeper into sleep and the nightmare takes hold.
The next time I force my eyes open, sunlight is shining and I'm lying on a soft four-poster bed. Slowly and painfully, I manage to sit up with my back propped up against the headboard, looking around the room I'm in. It's large, the round shape of it letting me know it's a tower room, the floor a mosaic of golds and marble—across from my bed are two doors that lead out to a balcony, on the far left wall are rows upon rows of books, and on the right one is a vanity and wardrobe.
I clutch at my head, feeling cold even though the sunlight streaming over me is warm. What the hell? I push the heavy comforter off of me. I'm still dressed in the clothes I was in earlier, so at least that hasn't changed, though they didn't necessarily smell good. Barefoot, I walk out on the balcony to have a look around, finding the garden I'd noticed when I flown here just one story below me. So I haven't left Regina's castle after all.
Shivering, I walk back into the room and over to the wardrobe, pushing through the clothes to try and find something worth wearing that wouldn't make me look like a demented turkey. "Feathers," I frown," why so many feathers? I hate feathers."
"They don't like you much either," Regina remarks as she enters my room, dressed in her old clothes of black silks and velvets. I wish I had boobs like hers. "Those aren't meant for you anyway, Morgan, I just haven't had time to move them into my new chambers yet." She shrugs, waving her hand and letting her magic wrap around me until my clothes had changed. The gown I wore was mainly black with a burgundy silk making up the bodice and trailing down the right side of the gown with black detailing around the hem.
There are no sleeves or straps, so it's just the corset holding it in place. "I forgot how heavy these are." I turn to look at my reflection in the mirror hanging on the wardrobe door, running my hands over the soft material. The necklace Hook gave me was still in its place, the vile resting against my collarbone. On my head is a diamond circlet, silver twined around it artfully to make it look like it was made out of silver flowers and vines. "How'd you know about this?" I touch it lightly, the silver standing out against my dark hair.
"I knew everything going on in the Enchanted Forest except inside Rumpelstiltskin's castle."
"He gave it to me when we were out in the garden."
"Exactly. I watched him put it on you and I saw how happy it made you." She squeezes my shoulder with a sad smile. "I thought you'd want a piece of that old happiness back." I can't manage a smile to return, the sadness too much for anything.
"Where's the wicked bitch?"
"Gone, but don't worry, I plan on destroying her." I nod, walking back to the bed, the heels of my new shoes clicking against the floor. "I get that you're depressed, sweetheart, I know how you feel…." She trails off, sitting beside me and taking one of my hands in hers. "We just have to keep moving through this and hopefully it'll get better with some time. You can always come to me if you feel like talking to someone who doesn't sugarcoat things."
"Thanks, but right now I wanna be alone." I keep my head bowed, looking down at the floor until I hear the bedroom door close and I know Regina's gone. My eyes move to the balcony and the blue skies beyond. I could end it all, I'd just have to lean a little too far over the railing and then it would all be over. I could be back with my papa. My gaze moves to the vanity and where Excalibur rests one it. Or I could use my blade to stop everything. I shake the dark thoughts away, kicking off my shoes and curling up on the soft mattress. I stare ahead at the wall, letting sleep take me away from this place once more and praying for sweet dreams.
I'm back in Storybrooke, but it's different than the other times in that it seems to be after I realize that I've stabbed Papa and as the cloud begins to clear away. The crippling guilt keeps me on my knees as a new person walks towards me, their feet coming into view. I look up, finding the shape of a body made out of swirling darkness with two red slits to make up its eyes. "Felix," I breathe, my thoughts turning back to the Shadow that had ruined everything.
"No," it snarls in a deep baritone voice. "Your fault, your fault! You brought this on yourself the moment you followed Pan!"
"I didn't do this," I scream back, throwing the dagger at the new Alp. "I never stabbed my papa, this was Felix's doing!" I stand quickly, slapping and hoping to make contact with what would be the thing's cheek, but my hand passes through the shadow and a searing burning pain cuts into my palm. I jerk back in surprise, my hand clenched into a fist as though it would stop the agony traveling up my arm.
Shaking wakes me up, David leaning over me with his wife standing just behind him. "It's only a nightmare," David says softly yet urgently," Morgan you need to calm down." I pull away, curling up against the wall with tears stinging my eyes. "Morgan, what's wrong with your hand?" I look down, not realizing until then that the pain had never left and was still clenched and shaking. Gently, David uncurls my fingers to have a look.
Burned into the palm of my hand is an old fashioned A with several ancient interlaced runes surrounding it. The tears fall freely now as I stare down at the brand mark with wide eyes, small whimpering escaping my lips. "No," I sob," no, not possible, no!" I bring my knees to my chest, hands clenching my hair as I rock and forth. "Not real, not real, not possible! No, no!"
"Go get Regina, tell her to bring a sleeping potion." I scream then, the type of scream that felt like it would never stop, a scream of loss and grief and pain. A scream that conveyed everything I feel, one that you only hear at certain times, all high-pitched and full of agony. I want my papa back!
- 47
- 48
- 49
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Ignorance is Bliss