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Medical Complications	By : Binary Category: M through R > MASH > MASH Views: 3933 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own MAS*H, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Medical
complications � Part 5

It was just
as well that Charles and I took advantage of the opportunities afforded us that
night, because Hell came riding in next morning, right after the Colonel got
back from the 8063rd, and stayed for several weeks.
Or was it
months?
It felt
like forever.
I don't
know how the Doctors kept going. Just when you'd get one wave of pre-op
patients down to a manageable number, another bus would arrive, or the
helicopters would clatter in, or a couple ambulances would pull up in the
compound. My boots were sticky with a mix of mud and blood, the autoclave
broke down under the strain of continuous use so we had to use alcohol from the
Still to sterilize the instruments, and 3 boys died without even making it out
of Pre-Op. At least there were enough nurses that Major Houlihan could order
one of us to take a break occasionally - every couple days, felt like - but the
Doctors just had to go on and on. There wasn't even time for them to take
bathroom breaks, and I knew the situation had become really serious when I
helped Hawkeye urinate into a specimen bottle while he continued to put some
kid�s insides back together - and Captain Quip just thanked me!
The work
wasn't finished either when we eventually got to emerge from OR. Post-Op was
crammed full, and more cots had been set up temporarily in the Mess Tent. Any
patients who could be moved were being shipped out as fast as the buses could
carry them.
Klinger
phoned someone named Sparky to establish what day it was, and of course it
turned out to be my day for an early turn in Post-Op.
Hawkeye was
in there doing the rounds, alternating vast yawns with his usual stupid banter,
and boasts about his brilliant surgical skills.
�Course,
it's not just surgery I'm good at," he confided to me, as I sat down at
the duty station and picked up the notes which Major Houlihan had left there.
The Captain came and sat on the edge of the desk and twittered on, apparently
unconcerned that I was ignoring him. "What am I saying, 'good'? I'm
terrific!" He leaned closer, and I threw the notes onto the table, folded
my arms and looked up at him, hoping he could read the boredom in my
expression. No such luck. ''Why do you think I�m Chief Surgeon?"
"Gee,
let me think... Because Major Winchester wasn't at the 4077th when you were
appointed.'' It wasn't a question, and I could tell by the way his mouth pursed
for a second that I'd annoyed him. I grinned. "That's what needles you
about the Major, isn't it? If he'd been here instead of this Frank Burns I've
heard about, he�d be Chief Surgeon, not you."
Hawkeye
snorted. "What annoys me about Charles is that he's pompous and
arrogant."
I shook my
head .in disbelief. "Arrogant? Have you ever listened to yourself, Captain
Ego?"
''Then
there's my natural wit and charm," he continued, as though I'd not spoken.
"Sorry,
did you say 'witless smarm�?" I retorted.
"Not
to mention my other attributes." He waggled his eyebrows, suggestively.
I rolled my
eyes. "Trust me, Captain, your attributes are not worth
mentioning." I picked up the notes again and began to check through them
before adding, wickedly, "If I can hold it in one hand, I'm not
interested."
�Now that
was below the belt,� he said, getting off of the desk. Praise be, seemed he�d
finally taken the hint! �Guess I�ll just have to find someone else to love.�
He went for
a wander around, turning a deaf ear to my observation that he was so much in
love with himself there�d never be room for anyone else in his heart. At least
Charles was only arrogant about his abilities as a surgeon, he didn�t assume he
was God�s gift to women, as Hawkeye did.
Yep -
Charles was the one with the genuine charm.
-

Over the
next few days, I noticed too how he fretted over one of the men he'd operated
on. The guy had taken some shrapnel near the bowel, and there was serious risk
of infection. But even so, I was a little surprised to see how much extra time
Charles put in to monitoring his condition - and how conscientious he was too
in checking on all the patients, when he was on duty in Post-Op.
The Charles
Winchester I'd known in Tokyo wouldn't have spent that much time on the Wards,
that was for sure. I didn't say anything to him, since I doubt he was
even aware that he'd changed. But I liked what I saw. I thought it made him
even sexier, and once most of the patients had been discharged, and the camp
had gotten back to what passed for normal, I wasted no time in demonstrating
that to him.

-

The weeks
passed, and although there was no chance of developing a routine, given that no
two days were the same, we did manage to fall into kind of a pattern.
Casualties would arrive, get patched up, get nursed back to health and leave.
Once they'd gone, and assuming another wave of wounded hadn't arrived, Charles
and I would find somewhere to play out our rage and frustration and lust and
passion and sheer need to demonstrate to ourselves that we were still
alive and able to feel. Living daily with death, or the threat of it,
does that to you. There�s no room for dancing around the niceties. You just
don�t need them.
Mostly we
had to make do with a spare mattress in the Supply Room, occasional forays into
the VIP tent, or snatched moments in The Swamp. But after I'd assisted Charles
in OR while he rerouted and exteriorized a colon (using a technique that was
new to me) the Colonel presented us with two nights together in Seoul. Not that
that was the way the Colonel regarded it, I'm sure. He just needed a surgeon
and a nurse to show that new procedure to the Doctors at the Military Hospital.
I guess Potter chose Charles because of his experience in demonstrating new
surgical techniques. I wasn't sure why Major Houlihan had recommended that I be
the accompanying nurse, but this was one assignment I had no complaints
about.

-
As I was
packing my bag, and wishing I had something a little more romantic than khaki
to slip into, there was a knock on the door and Klinger sidled in.
"Cinderella,
you shall go to the Ball!" he announced, without preamble. And from
behind his back, he produced an exquisite little neglig�e, all sheer material
and black lace.
�Why�
where� it�s beautiful!� I managed, once I�d gotten over the surprise. �Does
this mean the Major wasn�t kidding me when he told me you used to wear
dresses?�
�It�s
true,� said Klinger, looking kinda wistful. �You shoulda seen my blue satin
number with matching purse and shoes. But I gave it up as a lost cause when I
was dumb enough to start getting commendations noted on my file.� He held up
the neglig�e with a sigh. �So it�s goodbye to all this. But it�ll look better
on you anyway.�
�Thank you,
Max, I really appreciate it,� I said, taking the garment from him. Then,
curious, �So how�d you get your commendations, if you weren�t looking for
them?�
He
shrugged. �Helped the Father get some penicillin once, and ended up
getting shot at. Then the Major went and commended me for helping him out with
some Greek soldiers who needed medical attention miles from anywhere. Well �
not exactly miles as it turned out, but anyway� I didn�t do anything I wanted a
Scout Badge for. I wanted to get out of the army!�
�And here
you�ve ended up a Sergeant.� I brandished the neglig�e. �With a magic wand!�
�Just make
sure you�re home before midnight,� he laughed, as he went out. �Oh. Jeep�ll be
ready in five minutes.�
Major
Houlihan was waiting by the jeep as I handed my bag to the driver. �Remember
you�re representing the best MASH Unit anywhere,� she said to me,
pulling my hat a little straighter.
�Yes,
ma�am.�
�Remember
when to salute, remember to call the Major �sir� � and don�t forget that making
physical contact with a superior officer is against regulations!� She suddenly
grinned and winked at me, and I realized she had known exactly what she was
doing when she selected me to accompany Charles on this trip.
I could
have hugged her for it, but settled for giving her a salute and a broad smile
instead. �Don�t worry, Major. There won�t be anything there that I can�t
handle,� I replied, and climbed into the jeep while she tried very hard not to
laugh.
A few
moments later, we were on the road to Seoul.
- 4
- 5
- 6
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Medical Complications