What Happens At Cons

The Hinkley men and Bill Maxwell created a mild flutter of sensation when they emerged into the main area of Palmcon 9 in their costumes. Nobody knew the three good looking guys, but with the glances they received, it was apparent many there wanted to remedy that minor complication soon.

Bill’s new friend, Prince Ra, caught sight of them and broke from his latest circle of sycophants, stretching out his arm in greeting as he walked to them.

“My dear Maximillian, you look fabulous!” he gushed, pulling Bill to him, looping a gloved arm through Maxwell’s left arm.

Kevin and Ralph looked at one another and grinned at the blush moving over Bill’s smoothe cheeks.

“Your Highness,” Bill acknowledged, bowing. He rewarded Prince Ra with a wink as he bent at the waist. When he straightened, towering over the younger man, he looked around, as if he and only he could escort this most unusual personage around the convention hotel.

When the con goers saw that Prince Ra, of all people, already knew this man and his small entourage, they knew they had to get to know him as well. Many began to follow along as Rob continued in character, and Bill played along with him.

Rob said to the room in general, “My darlings, this is my new escort and guard, Maximillian, of Clan Maxwell, and his partner the superhero, and of course the engineering Commander. Treat them with all due respect, as you would ourselves.”

Kevin and Ralph looked around, having received an oblique introduction and obvious approval from one of the mainstays of convention life in the area. Ralph leaned toward Kevin and said, “Kev, looks like we’re in like Flint around here! You sure you want to go play D&D? This should be fun!”

Kevin looked around at the crowd watching Prince Ra and Maximillian’s every move. Some of the people on the periphery were young girls, in various states of dress and undress (as their costumes demanded). He was about to blow off Dungeons and Dragons if he had the likes of these girls to hang out with, when he caught sight of some school friends.

“Bill! Danny!” he yelped, drawing a glance from Bill Maxwell. When the agent saw the young Hinkley looking out the hotel window, to the breezeway beyond, he realized Kevin wasn’t addressing him.

“Dad, there’re my friends from school, they made it! See ya!” He turned to run to his friends, already forgetting his father, Bill and Bill’s drag queen friend.

“Kev, we haven’t eaten yet!” Ralph yelled to his retreating son.

He saw Kevin reach into his Starfleet uniform pocket. “I’ve got my communicator, Dad, I’ll keep in touch! I’ll grab a bite from Hospitality!”

And his son was gone.

The crowd near them, who heard the exchange, murmured. Ralph heard an Andorian commenting to someone in a blue Science officer uniform, “Wow, he’s even got a working communicator! Who is that guy?”

Ralph trailed behind Rob and Bill as the two led the way to where the Thursday night dance was being staged. He saw Prince Ra lean in, pulling Bill down enough to whisper in his ear, “Now that the youngster’s gone, maybe you, Ralph and I can have a bit of fun, Bill?”

Ralph stifled a chuckle, so his best friend wouldn’t know he’d overheard the soft request. He wanted to see what Bill would say.

Bill looked behind him, directly into Ralph’s twinkling blue eyes, and winked. He knew very well that Ralph heard everything. He softly replied to Prince Ra, “I think you’re right, Your Highness. I think this is going to be very fun, now that the kiddies are gone.”

The Prince stopped abruptly, and his entourage following him, Bill and Ralph did as well, wondering what their hero would do or say next. Rob made a point of turning around, facing Ralph. Bill continued to support him with his arm, as a proper escort should do.

“My dear Maximillian, you’ve not properly introduced your young superhero friend to us,” Prince Ra said, giving Bill the cue to introduce Ralph in a character role.

The two partners looked at one another, almost panicked. A name? Ralph hadn’t told him a name for this character! Bill had to think fast. Something came to him, and he winked at Ralph, silently telling him he didn’t have to worry. “Your Highness, may I present my partner….” He paused dramatically and said, “The Spoiler!”

Ralph gasped and had to hold back the laughter begging to come out. Where did Bill get that from? But Bill was continuing in his introduction to the masses.

“Yes, folks, you’re looking at the Spoiler, not famous by a long stretch, but there’s a good reason for that. You see, he has to remain anonymous; he cannot let the forces of evil know of his presence, or else they’ll be after him, and me too, as his partner!”

The crowd chuckled, enjoying the tale of the mysterious Spoiler.

“He earned the name from our most infamous case, in which we foiled the plans of a crazy General to launch a nuclear strike, and destroy the world!”

Ralph blanched when Bill mentioned their experience in halting Operation: Spoilsport a couple of years before. He looked nervously around, but the smiling faces of the listening people assured him they were taking it for exactly as Bill intended: a fantasy, a story to build Ralph’s con persona.

“We dubbed this adventure Operation: Spoilsport, and we did it, we spoiled the madman’s plot to turn this planet to a ball of mush! Thus was born The Spoiler!”

When Bill finished his story with a flourish, Prince Ra clapped with glee. “Spectacular, Maximillian! Thank you, Spoiler, for saving us and the Earth, we couldn’t possibly repay you and your valiant partner for what you’ve done for us all!”

The audience clapped as well, smiling, hooting and cheering. “Spoiler, Spoiler, Spoiler!”

Ralph waved his appreciation, smiling up at Bill. He leaned over and whispered, “I guess this is all the accolades we’ll ever receive, partner!”

Bill shrugged and whispered back, “Guess so, pard. Oh well, it’s something. Especially since we can use other scenarios we’ve worked on to build your con persona!”

Prince Ra motioned for the crowd to settle down, and all attention was once again focused on him, as he enjoyed so much. “My friends, minions and associates, I’ve just been informed that the dance will be commencing in about ten minutes….”

This announcement drew another cheer, as the waiting con goers were anxious to get out on the dance floor and dance into the wee hours of the morning.

“As always, our excellent convention volunteers have done their usual professional best….” Another rousing round of cheering acknowledged the volunteers’ efforts, “so remember to thank them all over the evening, in their work to make sure we all have a wonderful opening night dance!”

Prince Ra paused, then motioned imperiously, “Now… be gone! Enjoy! And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

That elicited the laughter he was seeking, and the surrounding throng broke up into smaller groups, chattering, fetching various beverages (alcoholic and not), in preparation for the dance.

When Ralph and Bill began to wander away as those nearby were, Prince Ra grabbed each by an arm to pull them back.

“Maximillian, where are you and your partner going? Aren’t you sitting with us this evening?”

Bill looked down at the diminuitive man. “Well, Rob, I’m not much into music, you see, and we….”

“Oh, nonsense! Of course you’ll stay!”

Ralph pointed toward the video viewing rooms. “Actually, I was going to see if Bill wanted to watch a movie, Prince Ra. They’re showing Rocky Horror at Midnight.” He winked at Rob, confident Bill had no idea what the movie was about.

“Delightful! But, Ralph, that’s still three hours from now. Surely you two can stay for a few dances?” The Prince ran his hand up and down Maxwell’s arm, admiring the white fluffy cotton sleeve. “I need at least one dance with my escort, after all!”

Bill insisted, “They really won’t be playing anything I’ll like, Rob! These kids like the newer stuff.”

“You’ll be amazed what they play at con dances, Bill. Just wait and see. I’ll request a couple of songs I’m confident you’ll enjoy, trust me on this one. They wouldn’t dare to refuse Prince Ra, after all!”

Ralph said, “C’mon, Bill, it’ll be fun. Listening to some music won’t kill you after all! And it looks like they’ve got a bar in there, the hotel’s running it apparently. We can get a couple of beers and watch the dancers and listen to the music.”

Prince Ra snapped his fingers, and a young man in leather slave garb appeared instantly at his side, a bottle of amber liquid in his hand. “Nonsense, you’ll share with me. Besides, those hotel bars are far too expensive! You may have some of this delectable nectar. It’s Amaretto di Saronno, the best of its kind.”

The young slave produced three tiny snifters and held one out at a time while Prince Ra filled each, handing them to Ralph and Bill in turn. Rob filled himself the third, then waved his young minion away to await his next command.

They watched while Rob held the snifter, warming it with his hand, and did the same. Bill took a tentative sip, and the warm, sweet liquid, tasting of almond, burned down his throat.

“Hmmm, tasty, Your Highness!”

“Tasty? It’s to die for!”

The DJ in the dance hall made the announcement that the dance was about to commence, and the crowd surged forward, everyone running to grab their favorite tables for proper crowd-watching. Prince Ra and his companions, Maximillian, the Spoiler, and a few others who’d been allowed into the privileged inner circle, took their time. He already had a table reserved, the best in the room (of course), and the men and women sat down after he’d chosen his regal throne for the evening.

Ralph and Bill, not knowing that amaretto was to be sipped slowly and savored, didn’t take too long to empty their little snifters. When Prince Ra noted his new friends were done, he motioned for his slave to refill the glasses, and the two men started downing the second round rapidly as well.

Rob smiled knowingly, and said, “You two may want to slow down a bit, that liqueur has a habit of sneaking up on you. One snifter usually lasts hours for me.”

“Naw, this is candy,” Bill opined, chuckling. “Not like a good Tennessee sippin’ whisky, after all.”

Prince Ra simply shrugged. He was looking forward to this evening, especially if he managed to get Bill out on the dance floor. The exercise and excitement would make the liqueur hit him full force.

Might be good to give the agent a chance to loosen up even more, relax into this new paradigm. Rob was confident Bill, Ralph and Ralph’s young son were all con virgins, and it was his task, nay, his duty! to properly introduce the two older men into the con life.

Partners, Prince Ra thought as the early evening progressed. He was watching his two new convention friends, how they interacted, what they said to one another as they watched the dancing mass on the floor. They certainly act like it, in more ways than one. I wonder if their partnership has reached the physical stage yet.

“So, Maximillian, how long have you two been, um, how shall we say? Partners?”

“Let’s see, what’s it been, Ralph? Four years?”

“I think so, Bill, yeah.”

Prince Ra drew small circles on Bill’s forearm with a gloved finger, his other hand holding the delicate snifter of amaretto. “So, are you two also lovers?” he boldly inquired, deciding it would be best not to be coy about it.

“What?” they both exclaimed, looking at Prince Ra in shock. But, Rob noted, not disgusted by the question. Simply shocked.

Prince Ra smiled sweetly at Bill, the younger man’s hawkish nose lowered as he whispered, “I just want to be sure I’m not intruding tonight, if, um….”

Bill blushed, and leaned in to whisper back, “You’re not intruding, Rob, but I… I….”

“Hmmm?” Rob asked, when Bill didn’t continue.

“Never mind, let’s just watch the folks on the dance floor. Some of those costumes are wild!”

Bill and Ralph didn’t see it, but Prince Ra signalled to the DJ at the raised table before the dance floor. The man nodded, and reached behind him for a record album. The Prince then motioned to two of the women at his table, part of his inner circle of con friends, and the women stood to move close to Bill and Ralph.

“Gentlemen, especially you, Maximillian. Your song is next, that I promised you. These ladies will escort you and the Spoiler to the dance floor.”

“Huh?” Bill asked, surprised to find a lady in spandex standing next to him. He’d been so engrossed in talking to Ralph, that neither partner had noticed the ladies’ arrival. The women were dressed futuristically, in clinging spandex, feathers and leather. They both wore soft leather slippers, ideal for dancing in.

When the opening strains of the classic song began, Bill’s grin widened and he whooped, standing up, grabbing the cutest of the two women to him before Ralph could. “Thanks, Your Highness!”

Ralph laughed as the grabbed the other girl’s hand, and the four ran to the dancefloor, Maxwell’s kilt flaring around his knees.

Glenn Miller’s “In the Mood” fired the crowd up, and they all went into their own versions of the Lindy, Jitterbug, or whatever else they could do to find a beat.

The two new con goers already knew they loved con dances. They’d seen groups dancing together, single people dancing with themselves, women dancing with women, men dancing with men, some just standing there, eyes closed, grooving to the beat of the music and the stomping on the floor.

Nobody was being judgemental or laughing derisively at anyone; it was refreshing from the usual meat market that clubs in L.A. boasted. People could go up to a group dancing together and simply join in, taking arms, shoulders, or hands, and receive smiles in return. It was like a big love-fest, and the two men were reveling in it, especially with great Big Band music in their ears.

The two ladies kept up with them. Ralph was leading his partner around, and would catch Bill’s eyes occasionally as his older friend did the same. He’d never seen Bill dance before, and was surprised his friend was doing so well.

At one point in the song, using his suit-enhanced strength, Ralph lifted his partner over his head, spinning her around. She was in trim shape, and kept her back straight as an arrow as he spun her around. The crowd moved back, giving him and his dancing partner room. Bill remained close with his partner, knowing Ralph wouldn’t endanger either of them by dropping his girl. The crowd didn’t realize it was no effort at all for the lithe younger man, who didn’t look nearly strong enough to be doing what he was doing!

When that portion of the song ended, Ralph set the breathless girl down, who staggered a bit away from them. The other girl, Bill’s partner, wanted to fly over the dance floor too, and flung herself at Ralph. Bill laughed in warning, and Ralph caught her in time. She, too, was lifted overhead, and he spun her around. She was laughing and squealing with delight, the strong hands holding her up. She could tell he wasn’t even close to weakening!

“Wheee!” the girl yelled, and the audience clapped in appreciation. Ralph knew the song was reaching the finale, so set her delicately down in front of Bill, who grabbed her to steady her.

Ralph’s partner rejoined him, and the four of them finished the song with gusto. The dancing crowd was now watching them in a big circle, and when the final trumpet note ended, they clapped with enthusiasm.

Bill, Ralph and their female companions held one another, laughing, as they ran back to their table. Prince Ra wasn’t there.

“He went to change,” one of his friends told them. “He’ll be back soon for his song! He couldn’t do it in his gown, after all!”

The guys swallowed the remainder of the amaretto, and Bill motioned to the bar. “Ralph, if you get this round, I’ll pick up the next one. I could sure use a cold brew right about now, I need bubbles!”

Ralph looked at their dance partners. "Did you ladies want a beer too?" he politely offered.

When they declined, he went to the bar and fetched himself and Bill some beer, and the two guzzled them gratefully. Rob had been correct: the exertion and excitement was making the liqueur hit them both, and quickly. The beer on top of the amaretto was only enhancing the effect.

“Whoo!” Bill said, holding his head. The room was spinning, the pounding beat of the latest song digging into his bones and muscles, the flashing and flickering disco lights making him dizzy. He felt very good, however, and grinned at Ralph.

“How’d you do that?” one of their dance partners asked, the one Bill had snagged. “It was a blast!”

“Well, I’m a superhero, ain’t I?” Ralph said, grinning as he took another swig of beer.

“’Ain’t’?” Bill asked. “Time to cut you off, when you start using improper English, partner!”

Ralph laughed like it was the funniest thing Bill had ever said. “Gimme a break, Maxwell, we’re here to lighten up. You know, it’s fantasy!” He said that last like Mr. Roarke from “Fantasy Island,” and made Bill laugh as much as he was.

“You two are nuts,” the other dance partner commented, smiling. She knew the alcohol was hitting them both. Won’t be long now till Prince Ra returned, and the song was on. These two were going to love it!

Prince Ra soon returned, this time encased in spandex, similar to the two ladies. He was very trim and muscular, and looked far different than he had before in the blue and silver gown, heels and gloves. He wore a black leather studded cap, and a midnight blue unitard. He, too, sported the popular leather slippers as many did with their costumes.

His retinue stood to welcome their Prince back to the table. Bill was next to him, and realized he was almost a foot taller than the very small man. But Rob commanded such presence, that he seemed bigger than he really was!

“Your Highness,” he said, as he helped him with his chair, remaining in character.

“Maximillian, that was a delightful display earlier!”

“You saw us? I thought you’d left!”

“I see everything, I hear everything,” the small man added mysteriously. “And now…” he motioned with his fingers, and a driving beat started the next song, his song. The crowd squealed, and everyone who wasn’t dancing before made tracks for the dancefloor, and it got to be elbow to elbow. It didn’t take long, and the entire crowd worked itself into a huge circle around the hardwood dancefloor, arms over shoulders, kicking to the beat, stomping up and down.

Rob ran to the circle of dancers, and pushed his way through. The crowd cheered and hooted when The Man Himself made his appearance, and Bill, Ralph, the girls and everyone else at their table joined him in the circle.

It was clearly the most popular song of the entire night, “Rasputin,” and it had a thrilling beat to it. Prince Ra went into his impromptu Russian dance routine, and others joined in who were brave enough to try. Ralph, imitating Rob’s style, danced as well, working effortlessly in the suit. It was obviously a great workout for those without such advantage; Rob was keeping up, but it was an effort. He was in spectacularly good shape, however, and he sweated in health, not strain.

Bill ran up to stand near Ralph, and before he could object, Ralph grabbed his partner and lifted him, over and over, down one side of himself then the other, swinging Bill around as if he weighed as much as a feather. Never mind that Bill was three inches taller than his younger partner. Ralph moved him around without Bill once having a chance to touch the floor.

Bill was too lost in laughter to object, the alcohol making him lose any remnant of inhibition as Ralph swung him around. One small thought worked its way through his befuddled mind: he was glad he was wearing something under that kilt, not the traditional “nothing at all.” The kilt fanned him with cool air as Bill completely gave in to Ralph’s game, confident his partner wouldn’t let him fall.

The DJ was apparently playing the long version of the song, because when it continued unexpectedly, the crowd murmured with excitement. Some were pulling away, not physically fit for the aerobic workout. Gaps would close, and the remaining dancers kept up the continual beat. Rob finally had to call it quits, and gracefully made his way to the edge of the circle, bowing discreetly out.

Ralph, in the meantime, showed no sign of slowing down. Bill finally whispered to him, “Ralph, don’t push it too far, it’s already shocking that you’ve outdanced Prince Ra!”

Ralph took the hint, and let Bill land gracefully. Bill, not having truly exerted himself – Ralph was doing that for him – leapt into the air, similar to the way he’d done in the Hinkleys’ room earlier, moving to the beat. At one appropriate part of the song, he took a bow, motioned behind him to Ralph to do the same, and the two chose that as their exit cue.

Bill said loud enough for the people near him to hear, as they pushed their way through, “Next time, you get to be the girl!”