The Mouse Calls...

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or WDW and I make no money from this.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Warnings: Past child abuse
Summary: The boys go to Disney World and Sam finds out one of Dean's many secrets.

Sam could barely hold in his excitement at Dean's silent promise. He knew that he shouldn't hold Dean to it. He was excited. He'll get over it.

By the time they got back to their cabin, Sam's feet were hurting and he was ready for a shower after all of the sweating which just mixed with the suntan lotion. He touched his nose, happy that he didn't feel the sting of a sunburn.

Dean went into the bedroom and Sam sat down on the couch and stared at his feet for awhile before starting to untie his shoes. He could almost feel that warm water, but then...

"Sammy! What are you doing? Hurry up!"

Sam looked up and couldn't help the smile on his face. There was his big brother in his red swim trunks. He wanted to pull Dean to him and take a peek at what the netting held, but knew that he had to continue to be patient. Regardless of what Dean had said earlier, it didn't mean anything until Dean actually came to him willingly.

"You want to go swimming? Now?"

"It's barely dark and the pool is open until midnight. I checked. We worked up a sweat so I thought we could go cool down."

"Showers help with that, you know..." The pout on Dean's face stopped him from trying to rationalize staying at the cabin. "Give me five minutes. You go ahead." He watched Dean practically run out of the cabin.

Sam sighed and put on his swim trunks, but also grabbed a duffel bag so he could take towels and the keycard. He walked to the pool area and was surprised to find it relatively empty.

Dean was in the water along with two women, another man, and three children. The two little boys and the toddler girl were apparently cousins. The little family started to get out just as Sam started putting his stuff on a chair. He listened to the children begging to play some more and the parents insisting that they had to get them to bed for an early flight in the morning.

Sam stood there and looked at Dean. Sam was wearing his old blue trunks and wanted to say something, but Dean's eyes were closed. He was floating on his back and looked so peaceful. Just as he was about to speak, Dean gasped loudly and his eyes snapped open.

He jerked and sunk before finding his footing and holding on to the edge of the pool, coughing violently.

Sam ran over to the other side of the pool and sat near his brother. "Hey, you alright?"

Dean nodded, but seemed to be preoccupied and Sam thought that maybe some good memories would help. "Dean, you remember when you taught me how to swim?"

Dean smiled, his lower lip still trembling. "Yeah, it was the year you turned nine, wasn't it?"

"Yup. I should have learned earlier, but you were too strict after that water demon incident." He frowned for a moment. "Hell...how did you learn how to swim?"

Dean just shook his head. "I think we should head back." He started swimming to the ladder.

"But I just got here."

"You go ahead and cool off. I'll take a shower and I'd like to be alone anyway. Just...give me fifteen minutes, okay?"

He climbed out of the pool and took a towel from Sam along with the keycard.

"Just leave the door propped open. I won't be long." Sam watched Dean go back to the cabin and frowned. "Okay...what did I say wrong now?" He was beginning to think that helping Dean to recapture his childhood was a bad idea. What happened to you, Dean? What happened that you'd rather forget and what in hell did I force you to face? He waited for only a few minutes before heading back to the cabin.

He heard the shower running and opened the door, knowing that he had no right to violate Dean's privacy, but he was honestly worried about him. He stood there quietly and decided that maybe he should leave when he heard the first strangled sob from the bathroom. He froze and clutched his chest as the sound did more damage to him than a shotgun full of rock salt ever could.

"Dammit..."

Sam's eyes widened as Dean's voice reached him. The sadness in his voice just destroyed Sam from the inside and he had to fight his own tears. He didn't even know what was wrong, but it didn't matter. Dean was hurt. Everything else was secondary.

"Why? Why me? Why now?"

Sam vaguely wondered if Dean was praying. It was possible. A flash of another memory hit him suddenly. It was as if needing to know what Dean was hiding was making Sam more open to random things from their past.

Cindy had a crucifix above the bookshelf. She used to make them say their prayers before bed....

"Sam, darling, you must say your prayers now." She would pet his hair and tell him that it was important to close your eyes when you pray. Opening them meant that you would be cursing those you were praying for according to her. His prayers were so long when she was in there. She always kept telling him to say things that he didn't even understand, but it was all praying as far as he could tell. He remembered wanting to open his eyes so badly. He couldn't because of Dean. He prayed for Dean and he didn't want his prayers to go unanswered. He would never curse Dean.

Sam frowned, trying to pull back into the memory. He couldn't figure out why it had been so important for him to open his eyes during prayers. That's when Dean whimpered in the shower and Sam had to run out and throw up in the grass.

The memory became clearer. He had been only six which was why it was so hard to pull to the front of his mind. He knew he had to be wrong, but there it was, right there in his thoughts.

His eyes were closed again and he was praying long prayers for just about everyone they had ever met.

The lights were always off by then and he hated that because he couldn't even see the other side of the room, but he knew Dean was there and that helped ease his fears.

Cindy always petted his head and told him to close his eyes and then would sit on Dean's bed while they prayed.

She always sat on Dean's bed and never Sam's.

Sam was always a little jealous of his big brother for that. But Sam's voice never mingled with his during prayers. Sam had to speak up, but he never heard Dean speak.

He only heard the whimpers...

"Oh God...Oh God, no..." Sam gulped great heaping breaths of air as tears began to flow down his cheeks. He had the worst feeling that he finally understood one of the worst secrets in his brother's life. It wasn't demons or ghosts. It was a human monster and he wondered how many times Dean had suffered at the hands of another while Sam was right there and ignoring it.

Sam's mind pulled up name after name of the people they had stayed with as children. How many of them had hurt Dean? How could I be so stupid? Did I really think that clothes, swimming lessons, and Christmas presents were the only things Dean did to make my life easier?

And in that moment he hated his father. A little brother can only know so much, but a father? How often had John handed his sons over to monsters in the name of protecting them from an unknown evil?

Sam shook his head. He could be wrong, but he couldn't ask about it or Dean would know he had heard him in the shower.

He'd just wait until Dean confided in him. Or he could confront Becky with his fears and find out from her.

He started back up to the porch and stopped to spit the remaining bit of vomit from his mouth. He opened the door and then removed the bag that was holding it open so the door could close loudly.

"Dean! I'm back. Why don't you order a pizza while I shower?" He noticed that the bedroom door was closed and the bathroom was empty, but he didn't think it had been that long since he'd finished.

"Okay."

Dean's voice sounded raw, but Sam chose not to try to get him to explain it. He knew from some of Dean's reactions that he had been forced to deal with these memories recently and he refused to push him.

He stepped into the shower and cried silent tears. I cursed you anyway, Dean...

He allowed himself the misplaced guilt while he cleaned up and then wiped it away along with the tears when he was finished.

He hadn't realized how long he was in the shower until he was pulling the towel around him and heard Dean getting the pizza. Nearly twenty minutes had passed and he thought Dean might start wondering if he was enjoying himself a bit too much in the shower.

He walked out and smiled at Dean who was setting the pizza on the table. Sam dropped his towel and got his boxers from his bag, pulling them on for bed. Then he just grabbed some food and ate.

Dinner was spent in silence and he was worried that it would be uncomfortable, but since Dean didn't know what he had remembered he figured it was only him that was dealing with the awkwardness.

The boys finished their dinner quickly and Dean threw out the box, muttering something about needing beer. He settled for a soda and turned on the TV. This time he was lost in the trials of 101 Dalmatians.

Sam got ready for bed and pulled down the bed, making sure to stay out of Dean's way as much as possible while he was watching the movie. He wasn't surprised, but he was disappointed when he woke up hours later and realized he'd fallen asleep.

The TV and lights were off and Dean's bedroom door was closed. Sam sighed and just stared at the ceiling. He picked up his watch at one point and groaned. Almost 4 in the morning...great...

That's when he heard Dean's door open. He had heard some noises coming from the room earlier and figured that Dean was talking in his sleep again.

He sat up, hoping that Dean wasn't going to try to walk off like he had the last time they stayed in a log cabin.

"Sammy? Are you awake?" Dean's voice was soft and Sam knew he wasn't asleep, but he wasn't fully awake either.

"Yeah, what's up?"

Dean just padded over and climbed onto the bed. He snuggled up under the covers and curled up with Sam.

"Dean? What do you want?" He started to stroke Dean's back, feeling the slight trembling.

"Make it go away..." The last word faded into a soft snore and Sam bit his lower lip hard, trying not to lose it when Dean was obviously in need of the sleep.

I would if I could, Dean.

And that's when Sam started to silently pray for his brother...with his eyes wide open.