Shattered Illusions

Chapter 5.


My daughters’ english book fell on the floor, quickly snapping me out of my thoughts. I smiled and touched my lips at the memory of how Luke’s kisses felt so long ago. I quickly checked her homework and put her books away.
I went upstairs and tucked her into bed and told her what a good job she had done on her homework. Like me, Lainey was good at English. I hoped that someday she would become a writer like me. I was magazine editor but i hoped that Lainey would surpass me and become a published author. It had always been a dream of mine like a lot of other unrealized dreams I had.
I fixed myself a drink and went up to bed. I knew tonight would be a sleepless night so I settled into bed with my drink and a photo album. My sweet Luke. Was it really possible he was capable of murder? I tried to let the thought sink in. I knew Luke had harbored resentment toward his adoptive mother but I never realized how deep it went. I never thought he was capable of killing anyone. I opened the photo album and the memories came rushing back.
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The first week of school put Luke in a funk. He was shy about meeting new people. We only had two classes together because he was a grade a head of me. He would be 17 in two months.
At my locker on Wednesday, I was talking to my friend Mark. We’d been friends for three years. I felt Luke walk up behind me and put his arms around my waist.

“Hey” he said.
“Hey Luke” I said turning around. I noticed a scowl on his face. I looked at him puzzled.
“This is my friend Mark” I introduced.
“Hey Luke” Mark said and stuck his hand out to Luke. Luke gave him a nod and ignored his hand. He turned to me, “Let’s go” He grabbed my hand practically dragging me down the hall.
“Luke, what’s wrong?” I asked but he just gripped my hand tighter and kept walking.
Once we were off school property I stopped and pulled my hand away.
“Luke, what the hell is the matter with you?”
He stopped and glared at me. “Who the fuck is that guy? I saw you hugging him.”
I stepped back. Luke looked very angry.
“My friend Mark. He’s been my friend for 3 years.”
“Did you date him?” Luke crossed his arms in front of him and stared at me.
“Huh? No, I never dated Mark! What the hell is your problem? I told you I have several guy friends. Are you going to act like this with every guy I talk to?” I really didn’t like this side of Luke I was seeing.
Luke spun around and continued to walk ahead of me. He was walking fast and I could see him clenching and unclenching his fists.
He crossed the park and sat down on a swing. He looked down at the dirt and I sat on a swing next to him. I didn’t know what to say so I decided to say nothing until he calmed down.

After a long silence Luke turned to me. I thought I saw tears in his eyes.
”I’m sorry. It’s just that......” He paused as if looking for the right words. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be jealous but I am. I don’t want to see you touching another guy. It drives me crazy. All my life I’ve never really been able to connect with anyone but I connect with you. I’ve never let anyone inside before.”
He took my hand and pulled me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck breathing in his sweet scent. We sat there gently swaying for a while. I finally found the words I wanted to say so I looked into his beautiful, deep brown eyes.
“Luke, I have several guy friends and I won’t stop being their friend. You can’t get jealous every time I talk to one of them. You just can’t. You aren’t going to lose me unless you don’t treat me right. I care for you and I don’t want to lose you either. I’ve never liked any boy as much as I like you. I’ve only had two other boyfriend and I didn’t care for them as much as I care for you so don’t worry.”
Luke cupped my face with his hands and pressed his lips against mine. I felt like I was melting into him.
His jealous rage was only a preview of what was to come over the next year.