Second Chances Part 1 - A Second Chance

Second Chances Part 1 by Bethhawke

Chapter 5

After dropping Michael and Marella at the hospital and radioing Caitlin to let her know that Marella was safe, they made their way to the lair. They secured Airwolf, checked her for any damage then got into Dom's red, white and blue Jeep. On the ride back to Santini Air to pick up Dom's chopper to fly back to the cabin, Dom turned to Hawke, who was driving. “Michael didn't have time to brief me fully on this one, just said he needed the Lady, so you gonna tell me what's going on?
“What d'you wanna know?” Hawke wasn't in the mood for conversation.
“Well for starters what about Beth, are you and her back together or what?” Dominic didn't look too happy about it.
“Turns out we were never not together, it was just a ruse by Michael to get me out of the way.” Hawke paused and glanced briefly at his best friend, who had raised him like a son. “You don't like her do you?”
“I never said that, did I?”
“You don't have to, it's written all over your face whenever you mention her name.”
“Well String, seen as you ask, I don't like her much, she's not good for you. I never said before 'cause you're old enough to make your own decisions and it's really none of my business.”
“Since when have you stayed out of my private life, ” Hawke was getting angry, “I wouldn't have met her if you hadn't dragged me to the club that night!”
“And I wish now that I hadn't. I just wanted you to get out, maybe meet a nice girl, settle down.”
“I did meet a nice girl and I don't want to settle down.”
“A nice girl,” Dominic said scornfully, “she took you home for the weekend after knowing you for about two hours. In my day they had a name for girls like that!” Dominic was shouting even though he was sitting right next the Hawke. “And that fight you had at the cabin, well, I can't believe you let a girl treat you like that and it wasn't the first time I noticed you were covered in bruises.”
They pulled up in front of the hanger and got out of the Jeep, slamming the doors behind them.
Hawke walked briskly towards the helicopter and climbed inside. He needed to get away from Dom or he was afraid he might hit him. He did the usual checks, then looked around for Dom. He was standing by the Jeep with his arms crossed in front of his chest, obviously he had no intention of flying with Hawke back to the cabin.

On the familiar journey home Hawke thought back to his conversation with Dom and felt the prick of tears behind his eyes. The last time they'd had a serious fall out was when he had wanted to fly a stunt for Dom that he felt was too difficult for the older man. Dom had punched him that time and had accused Hawke of treating him like he was no longer a man when he hadn't hit him back. Dom had eventually come around when Hawke asked him to back him in Airwolf, but Hawke still found it difficult to think about the incident.
Now he was afraid that his friend was making him choose between him and Beth, and while he loved Dom like a father, he would not abandon Beth when she needed him. Dom's comment about the bruises was a shock; he hadn't realised that Dom had noticed them, he'd never said anything. He knew that the older man wouldn't understand, sometimes he wasn't sure that he did himself. All he knew was that he and Beth loved each other and with both of them being in stressful jobs that they often couldn't talk about, their passionate and sometimes violent lovemaking was a welcome release from the tension they held inside. They didn't set out to hurt, but sometimes the emotions were so strong that they held on too tight or bit down to stop themselves crying out. It never hurt at the time and Hawke was always surprised afterwards when he found a new bruise or bite mark.
He thought back to the fight at the cabin, the last time he had seen Beth before he thought she had broken up with him. Dom had never heard the full story, didn't know why Beth was so upset, and Hawke had never minded to tell him.

Hawke's Cabin, 6 weeks earlier.
Beth was working homicide and her team had just caught a killer. She called Hawke at Santini Air to see if he would join them for a celebration drink at the club before they flew out to the cabin for the weekend. Hawke met her at the club and found her sitting at the bar just like the first time they had met.
“Beer?” she asked him.
“Orange juice.” he replied, “I'm flying later, don't want to be drunk.”
They took their drinks over to the table where Beth's cop friends were. A large balding man, whose name Hawke couldn't remember, raised his eyebrow at Hawke's choice of drink.
“What's the matter, she not let you have a man's drink?” he said scornfully, looking around to get laughs from the other guys.
Hawke wasn't fazed by the challenge, “Thought you guys would appreciate a sober driver, less mess for you to clean up.”
The other guys laughed at his response and invited him to sit down. The conversation was jovial and raucous, lots of congratulations and pats on the back for each other as they reviewed the case. They had accepted Hawke as part of their group after they had found out he had served in Vietnam and he joined in occasionally with the conversation and laughter. Beth was very quiet, considering she was meant to be celebrating, and when there was a lull in the conversation Hawke pulled her close and whispered in her ear, “You OK?”
“I'd like to leave now, if you can drag yourself away.” She sounded annoyed and Hawke wondered what he had done wrong. He drove her car to Santini Air in silence, she didn't seem inclined to talk and Hawke was not one to make unnecessary conversation. Beth didn't speak until they finally landed at the cabin.
“I'm tired. I think I'll go straight to bed.”
Hawke pottered around his home, tidying and getting everything ready for the next day. Dominic, Caitlin, Michael and Marella were coming to dinner and would be arriving late afternoon. It had been Caitlin's idea that they all get to know each other a bit better now that they were working together on missions more often and Hawke's cabin was such a picturesque setting that it seemed the ideal location. He also suspected that she was trying to play matchmaker to Michael and Marella who she thought should be together. Caitlin had stipulated that there was to be no business talk and so Hawke had decided to invite Beth.
The next morning Hawke woke to an empty bed and could hear Beth downstairs. He quickly showered and dressed and joined her in the kitchen. She was standing with her back to him, pouring coffee. He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Good morning.”
She handed him a coffee in silence and walked away to stand in front of the dying fire. She ruffled Tet's fur and sipped her coffee, still not saying a word.
“OK, you going to tell me what's wrong?” Hawke asked, fed up with the silent treatment.
“You don't know.” It wasn't a question.
“ If I knew I wouldn't be asking.”
“I don't want to talk about it now. I'm going for a walk.” She put her cup down on the hearth and strode purposely towards the door. She didn't know her way around the mountains and Hawke was worried she would get lost so he sent Tet after her.
It was late afternoon when they finally returned and Dominic and Caitlin had already arrived. She walked in without greeting them and went straight upstairs.
“Sorry,” mumbled Hawke to his guests and followed her upstairs. She was standing by the bed. “What is it with you today?” he asked her, unable to keep the irritation from his voice, “I was worried sick with you gone so long!”
“Then maybe you shouldn't have invited me, you could have had the company of one of my fellow cops instead.”
“So that's what this is about, you don't want me to have the same friends as you.”
“No, it's not that, you just don't understand,” her voice broke and Hawke noticed for the first time how red her eyes were. He approached her cautiously and put his hands on her shoulders. When she didn't pull away he held her closer. “How could you laugh and joke with the men last night? You all seem to forget that people died. Before we caught the killer two more innocent women died – if we had caught him two days earlier they would be alive now!”
Hawke held her tighter, “I'm sorry, I didn't know.”
“Well, maybe not, but the others did. I was the one who had to tell the families that their daughters were dead and I don't want to do that again – ever. I hate this job,” she punched at his shoulder in frustration, “I wish I'd never got the promotion.” She was sobbing now, half way between upset and angry.
“Why don't you have a nice long bath, try to calm down,” he suggested when the sobbing had eased a little.
She placed both arms against his chest and pushed – hard. It was so unexpected he fell backwards, grabbing at the bannister to stop himself falling downstairs.
“Don't patronise me!” she screamed at him.“How the hell can a fucking bath help!” She lunged towards him and slapped him hard across the face. He grabbed her wrists and held on tight so she couldn't lash out again. Hawke was aware of Dominic and Caitlin watching them, their mouths open in shock. When they saw him looking they quickly looked away, then he heard Dominic suggest they go outside to wait for Michael and Marella.
In the sudden silence Beth sank to the floor. Hawke released her wrists and sat next to her, wrapped her in his arms and gently rocked her. He understood how she felt, he had felt the same way many times in Nam when innocent people had got killed. And he and his friends had often got into fights with each other when the tension got too much. He wished they were alone, his stupid suggestion of a bath was a poor substitute for what she really needed – to make love to him, use his body to release the tension stored up inside. They sat like that for a long time, until Hawke heard Archangel's chopper approaching. He lifted Beth's head and looked into her eyes.
“Do you want to stay or shall I take you home?”
“What about your guests?”
“Don't worry about them, they can help themselves to dinner when it's cooked.”
“I'll stay, if you want me to. That bath sounds like a good idea.” Hawke recognised this as an apology, but just in case he didn't Beth added, “I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.”
“It's okay, I do. Just don't do it again or I might have to hit you back!” He was only half joking. She was strong for her size, his face was stinging and he had pulled a muscle in his arm when he had grabbed at the bannister. He went downstairs to greet his guests.
The evening wasn't a complete disaster. Caitlin or Dominic must have had a quiet word with Michael and Marella because nobody mentioned Hawke's red cheek or the awkward way he held his sore arm. Beth stayed upstairs until after-dinner coffee was served and then, when Hawke got out his cello, she came downstairs and sang along to a few sad ballads.
It was about eleven when Michael said that he and Marella needed to leave as they had work in the morning. He offered Beth a lift to Santini Air to collect her car and she took him up on the offer. It was nearly a week later when Hawke received her letter telling him she didn't want to see him any more.
xxxxx

Inside the cabin Caitlin was waiting for Hawke. Beth had gone to bed as soon as the men had left and Caitlin had gone up a couple of times to see if she wanted anything but she had been asleep or, Caitlin suspected, pretending to be asleep.
She heard the chopper approaching and rushed to open the door.
“Where's Dom?” she asked the exhausted pilot.
“Stayed at the hanger,” Hawke replied gruffly, walking towards the bar.
He poured himself a glass of wine and Caitlin noticed how tired he looked. His eyes were red, his hair untidy and his face dirty. If she didn't know better she would have said that he'd been crying, but surely not, unless something bad had happened to Marella since they last spoke.
“Is Marella okay,” she asked. She really wanted to ask if he was okay, but knew he wouldn't appreciate the question.
“Fine, it was just a graze. Where's Beth?”
“In bed.”
Hawke turned towards the stairs but Caitlin put a gentle restraining hand on his arm.
“String, she's been up there since you left and I think she's pretending to sleep. I've been up a couple of times to see if she wants anything but she won't answer.”
“I don't think she wants to talk to me either, I'll sleep down here. You should get some sleep too, I'll let you have first choice of furniture to sleep on,” he gave her a sad smile and slumped in a chair with his wine. “Cait?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks, I know you didn't want to babysit.”
Caitlin shrugged, “That's okay. What are friends for?”

Hawke woke early the next morning despite the late night and not getting much sleep on the uncomfortable chair. Not wanting to wake Caitlin, he tiptoed up the stairs to his bathroom to shower. After pulling on a clean pair of jeans he sat on the bed next to Beth. She was very still and pale and in a sudden panic he reached over and checked for a pulse. After fumbling around to find the correct place he breathed a sigh of relief as he eventually found it, but despite his groping around her neck she still hadn't woken and that worried him. He noticed that the bottle of painkillers by the side of the bed was open.
Oh god no! I should never have left her!
He pulled her to him, holding her tight as though he could squeeze her awake.
He lost track of time as he just held her, aware that he should call a doctor but unable to move and after what seemed like a lifetime she started to wake up. At first he didn't realise she was moving, his own ragged breath and heaving chest masking her small movements as she gradually became aware of her surroundings.
“String?” her quiet, husky voice queried.
“Beth! You're awake.”
“What?” she sounded puzzled.
“The painkillers. How many did you take?”
“I...what? Why? I don't know,” she didn't understand what he was asking, why he sounded so upset.
“Beth,” his voice was stronger now that he realised she was okay, “you need to remember. How many?” He gently shook her shoulders, trying to convey the urgency in his question.
She finally understood and started to cry, “I don't know. I just wanted the pain to go away.”
“You're wrist? Is it that bad?”
She shook her head, “No, not my wrist, the other pain, the one in here,” she clenched her right fist and jammed it against her chest, sobbing uncontrollably now.
A noise on the stairs made Hawke look up to see Caitlin standing watching them, her face concerned. He picked up the pill bottle and she came forward and took it from him.
“Try to work out how many she took last night. There should be about five day's supply left.”
Caitlin read the instructions on the bottle and then tipped the pills into her hand and counted them. “There's twenty six left, Hawke. She could have taken anything up to fourteen last night.”
“Dammit. Get hold of someone, Marella, Archangel, I don't know. Just find out if that's a dangerous amount to take in about twelve hours.”
Caitlin started down the stairs, then turned back, tears running down her face, “I'm sorry Hawke, I was supposed to be watching her.”
“It's not your fault, you weren't to know.”
“Maybe not, but I should've tried harder to get her to talk to me,” Caitlin was going to blame herself as she knew deep down that she could have tried harder to get Beth to talk to her.
After speaking to Archangel on the radio, who in turn contacted Marella, Caitlin gave Hawke the good news that Beth had probably only taken about eight painkillers as she had already taken some before coming to the cabin and as long as she stayed awake she should be fine apart from feeling woozy and nauseous for a while.
Sitting cuddled up to Beth on the bed Hawke turned to her, his face serious.
“Talk to me Beth, if for no other reason than to stay awake.”
“I didn't take them on purpose. I wouldn't do that to you.”
“Then why?”
“I was tired and upset. When I did fall asleep, I had nightmares. I got confused, that's all,” he didn't look convinced, “that's all! I promise.” He didn't have much choice but to believe her, but he vowed to keep a closer eye in her.

It was early afternoon when Michael turned up at the cabin with a different pilot.
“Hawke, this is Andrea,” he introduced them, “Marella isn't up to flying but will be discharged later on today. She was clean.” he said, referring to Hawke's idea that the terrorists may have planted a tracking device on her. “Andrea has some clothes for Elizabeth, is she around?”
“Still in bed,” Hawke replied, “Andrea, would you mind taking them up to her? I don't think she's feels well enough to come down just yet.”
When Andrea was out of earshot, Hawke turned to Archangel. “Does Marella know that Hunter is the one who had Beth?”
Archangel sighed, “Yes, she worked it out,” he sounded weary. “What we are not sure about is whether Fedoseev knows that Beth is still alive.”
Caitlin joined in the discussion. “The way I understand it, Fedoseev took Beth because he suspected she was spying on him, which she was, and he thinks that Hunter disposed of her – right?”
“Right,” Michael and Hawke answered together.
“Well, if Fedoseev found out that Beth was still alive and could identify him, don't you think he would be really mad at Hunter?”
“Yeah, where are you going with this Cait?” Hawke asked thoughtfully.
“Well, we have the advantage here. If Beth were to contact...”
“No way Cait, she's been through enough as it is!” Hawke interrupted angrily.
“Let me finish String,” she placed her hand on his arm, “he doesn't need to know where she is, just have proof that she is alive, so that he begins to doubt Hunter.”
“It could work Hawke,” Michael said, “please continue Caitlin.”
“We're not sure why Hunter took Marella, but it looks like he wanted Airwolf to rescue her. The rescue was too easy and he could easily have destroyed the pager then we would never have found her.” She looked at Michael as he flinched. “She's going to be OK you know.” Caitlin thought that Marella and Michael should be together and had unsuccessfully played cupid a few times, but she suspected that this time they really might get together.
She continued, “The only reason I can think of is that Hunter wanted to show off Airwolf to the Russians. He works for the Firm, or should I say worked, so he would have enough knowledge to pass himself off as having access to Airwolf.”
“That is possible. He did work directly under me for a short time but I soon palmed him off to another department. He's too arrogant for his own good, and it was his arrogance that got him shot. He didn't really need a desk job, but I didn't trust him to work in the field. I should have got rid of him when I could,” he paused, “I know Marella well enough to know she wouldn't give away any secrets, even if she was sleeping with him. I just don't know what she saw in him.”
“Maybe she was just using him for a substitute, because she couldn't have the person she really wanted.” Caitlin said bravely. Hawke glared at her and she smiled back innocently. “Hunter must have a reason for showing them Airwolf and the only one I can think of is that they are planning to steal her.”
Hawke turned to Michael, “Didn't Marella say that the cave had lots of electrical and computer equipment in it?”
“She did.”
“Then they may be compiling enough equipment to make their own Airwolf, or at least something that can rival her.”
“And we don't want that to happen, do we?”
“No!”
At that moment Andrea came downstairs. Hawke saw Archangel and Andrea exchange a glance and she nodded slightly. Hawke gave a puzzled frown – Archangel was up to something.
He glanced upstairs and saw Beth standing there. If he had thought her beautiful when he'd first seen her dressed all in black, then in white she looked stunning. She was wearing a tight fitting sleeveless blouse and a long flowing white skirt, similar to an outfit he had seen Marella wearing but on Beth it looked totally different. Her make-up hid the cuts and bruises on her face and her dark hair was tied neatly back in a long plait. White high heeled boots finished the outfit and the only thing out of place was the plaster on her left arm. But at least it's white, thought Hawke. He was determined to have some time with her before she got down to business, because she was undoubtedly dressed for work. At least his unspoken question the other day, about whether she wore white when working for Archangel, had been answered.
In awe, he slowly ascended the stairs and offered her his arm and together they walked back down and straight out the front door, aware of three pairs of eyes watching them.