Confusion

“Max?” Alec touched her arm. His hand was warm and firm. The touch reminded her of other places where his hand had been. She grew warm.

Not again, she firmly said to herself. She jumped out of bed and started to look for her clothes.

She could hear Alec sigh behind her.

“This is where you’re supposed to say ‘This was a mistake,’ I take it.”

“Alec…” Max trailed off. She didn’t know what to say. Damn it! Where the hell is my bra? She thought

“Just remember that you were the one that kissed me first.”

“What?” she found her bra and was trying to put it on.

“If you go telling Logan about this, I want to you get your facts straight. That’s all,” he said.

“I don’t know if I am going to tell Logan about this. I can’t think right now. I need to get out.” she left the room looking for her shoes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been two weeks. Two weeks of confusion. Max was trying not to beat herself up but it was hard knowing that she messed everything up. She had told Logan. He was too calm. However, she could see the hurt in his eyes.

Alec had been avoiding her. Max hadn’t been going out of her way to try to catch him either. People were starting to ask what was up between tem and she didn’t know what to tell them. She didn’t know what he was telling them. She was just too tired to deal with them and him…or too scared. She had fantasies about that night. It drove her crazy. She didn’t want to want him, but she did. She just knew that she couldn’t stop thinking about his hands and his mouth and his hair.

She was outside his apartment. It was raining. Her shirt was slightly clinging to her body. Max tugged it away from her body while she thought about knocking. ‘What was I doing here? Was I here to salvage whatever kind of friendship we had? Or was I here hoping to get laid again? ‘ She thought. She took a deep breath. She was here to patch things up. God knows she needed all the friends she could keep.

Max knocked on the door and waited. She could hear his television in the background. She could feel her heart speed up. She rubbed her palms against her jeans and tugged at her shirt again.

“Who is it?”

“Max.”

She thought she heard him swear as he got up. She could hear his footsteps approach the door. The door opened as she wetted her lips. She froze. He smirked at her expression

“And what do I owe this pleasure?”

“We need to talk.”

“Oh, so the queen thinks we need to talk. Well, I’m busy. Why don’t you try back later?”

He started to close the door. She pushed the door open and walked past him.

“Or we can talk about it now,” he said as he closed the door behind them. He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms.

Max looked up at him. He was definitely annoyed. His lips were tightly drawn. She was staring. He raised an eyebrow. She looked away.

“I’m sorry about the other night,” Max began.

“That’s okay. I’m just glad I could be of service,” Alec smirked. “So I take it Logan didn’t take the news well? I take it from your recent depression that you did tell him, right?”

Max looked up at him. “Yes, I did tell him. And no, he didn’t take it well. Did you expect him to? Anyway, it’s probably for the best…” She took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry I used you and I want to know that things are okay between us.” She looked at her hands folded in her lap.

Silence. She looked up at him again. He was staring at her. Max waited. She looked at him, waited, and looked. His eyes looked directly at her. They were filled with the same intensity as that night when he was moving within her. Moreover, that thought took her straight to her fantasy only this time he was real and he was a few feet away and so touchable. She became warm. He noticed because he started to frown.

“I think I need to leave.” she stood up. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. She could picture his lips on her—soft in places, nibbling…hard in other places, demanding…and always warm and wet.

“Max? Are you okay?” He tried to grab Max.

“Don’t touch me!” Max screamed.

He lifted his hands. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to touch you.”

She took another deep breath. “Just don’t touch me, okay. I’m… I’ve really got to go before I do something stupid again.”

Alec smiled. He suddenly understood what she was trying to say. “Well, Max…”

“Don’t say a word. I’m going.” Max turned to go.

“Max, wait.”

She stopped. She really didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay. She wanted to stay here with him.

“Why did you sleep with me that night?” she heard herself ask.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I guess I kind of wondered about it and when you came on to me I just kind of went along with it.”

“Oh,” Max said. She couldn’t think of anything else to say. He moved behind her. She could feel him there. This was how things started in the first place, she thought to herself. She turned to him.

“I don’t want to start this again. I don’t even like you.”

He smiled. “So? What does that have to do with anything?”

“It has a lot to do with us. I’m not getting into a relationship with someone I don’t even like.”

“Who says we’re going to be in a relationship?”

She stared at him. The idea was tempting. He was tempting. He smirked. He knew what she was thinking. She wanted to punch him, anything to wipe that smirk off his face. Instead, she smiled and grabbed his head. She pulled him to her. She noticed his eyes widen in shock just before his lips landed on her smile.

Her lips tugged at his as his hands came to rest on her shoulders. Max slipped her tongue into his mouth and heard him groan in response. She smiled inside before he fisted his hands into her hair and took control of the kiss. She let him and moved her hands down to his back to pull him closer.

They kissed and kissed and kissed. Their hands fumbled with each other’s clothing while their mouths feasted. Somehow, they ended up on his couch. His hands settled on her hips moving her on top of him. She tore her mouth away from his. His eyes were hooded and heavy. She smiled as she slowly settled down on him. Her eyes closed as she savored the sensation. Max’s eyes opened when Alec’s lips grazed her jaw. She ran her hands up his sides to his back. While his mouth was marking her neck, his hands teased her waist—her breasts. Max arched her back and started to move slowly. His hands moved back down to hips, guiding her. Max grabbed his head and pulled him into another kiss. Her hands moved down to his shoulders and she brought him closer. She loved the feel of his chest brushing against her breasts…coupled with him rocking inside her…the sensation was incredible. His mouth fueled her, making her move faster. They moved against each other, with each other until they both found what they were looking for…oblivion.

Max rested her head on his shoulder and listened to his breathing. He rested his head against hers. She felt his fingers lightly skim along her back, making abstract patterns. This was when she realized that this was the closest she had been to another person in a while. The sound of the television in the background, her fingers absentmindedly toying with his hair, his face pressed against her hair, his heart beating against hers. She inwardly sighed and closed her eyes.