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The Stairwell Postulate	By : Keen Category: 1 through F > The Big Bang Theory Views: 10103 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Guess what….I don’t own The Big Bang Theory! Shocker, I know. But I wrote this and created the characters not of the show. And I make no money, so they have no reason to sue me. Right? Right.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
            Leonard kicked the front door shut
behind him. He had an arm full of packages, two grocery bags swinging from his
fingers and the mail slapped on top. Among the stolen pieces of ‘snail mail’
that belonged to Penny there was one letter that caught his eye. He set the
bags on the kitchen island and eagerly grasped it and opening it he was
thankful Sheldon hadn’t been able to visit the post first. It was another
invitation from the Institute
of Experimental Physics.
            “I don’t believe it…” he smiled.
            They apparently forgave the fiasco
that was the last presentation and wanted them back again to discuss their
research. Or for a second round…The
last few lines expressly invited them both to attend. “Crap,” hastily he
refolded the paper, tucking it away safely in his pocket.
            It would be a hard sell, Leonard
knew. Sheldon’s pride was hurt and he flat out refused the last time but he
decided it was worth a try. As he put away the few groceries in tow, he called
for his spastic research associate. It was only when he was done and did not
have the overly tall man looming over him like some dark cloud, asking
fifty-million questions, and cursing him for shouting indoors that Leonard
noticed something was amiss.
            He folded the grocery bags and
waited a moment longer before moving to the hall. Sheldon had to be in his
room, his keys were in the bowl at the door, is red XPS laptop on top of his
desk, what was keeping him? Aside from a
massive hang-over, he smirked wryly.
            The devilish grin grew into a toothy
smile with his laughter. “This is too good.” Leonard pulled the cellular from
his pocket. His fingers furiously worked over the qwerty
keys as he relayed the situation in a text message.

            “Sheldon?!”
            The sound of his name pulled him
right out of a REM cycle. Eyes alight, Sheldon sat bolt upright, waking the
woman who slept curled against him.
            Feeling a sudden chill and hearing
an unknown body lumbering beyond her room, Deidre reached for the gun on her
nightstand. She stilled to realise it was not there, the nightstand or her gun.
This was not her house, or room, and this was not her bed she lay naked in!
            Twisting the Star Trek sheets
underneath her, she sat up slowly realising what happened the night before and
looked at Sheldon. He was silent, his hands nervously patting at the bed,
unsure of what to say. She couldn’t say she knew what was appropriate either.
            ‘Sorry I took advantage of you? I
had fun, sorry you didn’t.’ …Or did he?
            Dierdre
opened her mouth to start with her questions but Leonard’s call made her
flinch. Sheldon bolted from the bed and moved to his drawer. He shimmed his
long legs into a pair of plaid flannel pyjama bottoms and searched for a top.
            And since he dressed, Deirdre did as
well, scooting around the room on her hands and knees, poking her legs through
her pants, her arms through her top and sweater. She was nearly done when the
door knob began to turn.
            “Sheldon?” the door opened wider and
quickly, she swept up her shoes and fell silently behind it, the only hiding
space she could reach in the overly organised room. Hugging her arms close to
her chest and turning her face with a wince, she held her breath as the door slowly
neared her face.
            Hearing her barely audible gasp, Sheldon
abandoned looking for a top and walked toward the intruder, blocking Leonard’s
view of the horribly dishevelled bed with his body.
            Sheldon was not proficient in social
protocol but from what he understood in watching numerous Will Farrell movies
and MTV shows, if his friend found him indisposed with a woman he slept with
because of an evening of liquor and poor judgement on his part, Leonard would
be obligated, and delighted, to never let him ‘live it down.’
            Clasping his hands behind his back Sheldon
looked down sternly on the man, “Don’t you knock?”
            Leonard picked as his fingers, “I’m
sorry. When you didn’t respond, I got a little worried. Not at first, but after
I said I was going to use your toothbrush.”
            “Well, thank you for your concern. I
am fine. Goodbye.” Sheldon tried to close the door and Leonard reached his arm
out.
            “Wait, wait. I do have something to
ask you.”
            “Yes?” Sheldon stretched in the door
way and Leonard became keenly aware the man wasn’t wearing a shirt, or his
slippers, or his robe.
            “What happened to your pyjamas?” he
asked.
            Sheldon looked nervously to his
right, to the woman tucked behind the door. She seemed to be snickering, a curl
on her soft lips. Leonard stepped forward and Sheldon snapped his head forward.
“Was that your question? Because if it was, we are done
here.”
            “No, no, my question was, would you
be willing to give a lecture of our research for the Institute of Experimental
Physics?”
            “Yes. Fine.
Make the reservation.” Sheldon tried to close the door again but Leonard
protested. “What is it now?!”
            “Why did you say ‘yes’ so quickly?”
            “I’m sorry, was that not the answer
you were looking for? Then I’m changing it. No.”
            Sheldon pushed the door and Leonard
fought him. Deirdre hugged her shoes tighter against her chest and pressed her
back flush against the wall while the plane of wood zoomed in and out of her
face.
            If she could, she would have made
herself invisible. She would have morphed into vapour and slipped unnoticed
into the hall and out the door but as it was, she held herself tightly and
prayed Sheldon was strong enough to keep the door from hitting her head. Barely
there muscles flexed in his long arms and belly as he shoved at the door again.
            “What is wrong with you?” Leonard growled, pushing against the partition
with all his might. “What are you hiding in there?”
            “Who says I’m hiding anything?”
Sheldon yelled back.
            “If you’re not hiding anything then
let me in.”
            “I refuse on principle. If I let you
violate my privacy now, who is to say you won’t expect me to let you do so
again?!”
            The two parried with the door
between them, pushing at it with their shoulders until Leonard gave up. “Fine!”
he exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “I’ll be in the kitchen when you are ready
to talk.”
            Leonard moved his foot and Sheldon
pushed the door shut. He rested flat against it and looked at Deirdre who was,
staring at the ceiling above her with a wide smile.
            “I fail to see the humour in our
current predicament” he snapped. “At the very best, I have bought us a few more
moments before the inevitable.”
            “He won’t know.”
            Sheldon’s eyes went wide, “What do
you mean?! He’s in the kitchen, which if you remember is directly adjacent to
the path to the door! Unless you come equipped with a cloak of invisibility the
likes of Predator, he will see you walk to the door and there will be questions. Not to mention
general mockery and ridicule,” Sheldon held his aching head with a hiss, “It
will be elementary, middle school and high school all over again.”
            “Relax. I am going out that way,” Stepping
into her heeled boot, Deirdre moved to the window and parted the curtains.
            Sheldon followed behind her, “You
cannot be serious,” he said, genuinely concerned. “We are four floors above
ground level.”
            “I have scaled taller things on the
Academy training course,” she scoffed. “Plus you have a fire escape.”
            Deirdre pulled the window open and
put one leg through, setting her foot down on the slatted black grate. She was
nearly through the gap when Sheldon moved forward. He stood with his hands
clasped behind his back, rocking on his heels.
            “I suppose I should say something
other than ‘goodbye.”
            “It’s not necessary,” she said
continuing out.
            “But I would like to,” he said,
crouching in front of the window.
            Deirdre turned around and leaned on
the sill with both hands. “Then do it.”
            She chuckled seeing his face blink
and sputter. Sheldon was dumbstruck. He hated it but once again he was forced
to rely on what he had learned from movies and television shows yet again to
find an appropriate response. A ‘thank you,’ however sincere and genuine, could
have other implications and might garner a laugh.
            “I’ll call you?” he offered, unsure.
He sighed labouredly to hear the melodious sound regardless.
            “As if you could.”
            Sheldon looked down at his feet and
Deirdre bit her bottom lip to rein in her chuckling. It suddenly felt
mean-spirited. And even if he was, it did not mean she necessarily had to be.
            Sheldon raised his head to feel her
come closer, reaching for him, brushing her hand against his smooth cheek and
lifting his chin.
            Dierdre pressed
her lips against his and kissed him deeply. Her tongue twined lewdly with his
and the man leaned forward, opening his mouth wider. He made a pained sound when
he felt her pull away. Her thumb caressed where her mouth had been and sent a
pleasurable shiver through his lean frame. Sheldon straightened himself to
regain composure.
            “Goodbye, Dr. Cooper.”
            “Detective Bowen,” he nodded.
            Her hand slid away from his mouth
and she ghosted through the curtains. She moved so quickly, he did not even see
her travel down the flights of stairs, but glimpsed her putting on her shades
and pulling her hair back into a ponytail as she moved to her cruiser. She pulled away from the curb and after a
moment, Sheldon closed the window. He finished drawing the curtains closed when
his bedroom door opened.
            “I thought you said you would be
waiting in the kitchen,” he said, quietly. He turned and was surprised to see
Penny, cheeks red and smile blinding. He straightened his posture and clasped
his hands behind his back, masking his embarrassment at being found without a
shirt. “You have no doubt come to gloat?”
            “Nothing could be further from the
truth,” Penny lied, batting her lashes innocently. When Leonard texted her the situation she all but killed herself trying to get
home in time to see Dr. Sheldon Cooper unkempt and hung-over. “Are you feeling
ok?!”
            Sheldon clasped his hands over his
suddenly ringing ears, “Mind the volume of your voice woman!”
            She bit her lip to keep from
laughing, “Oh, I’m sorry! I’ll remember to talk softer.”
            Sheldon scowled, he was becoming
acutely aware of the false sweetness of her tone and how much it reminded him
of his sister Missy when she teased him. She had done that on purpose.
            He messaged his still ringing ears, “What
do you want, Penny?”
            “To give you this,” she smiled,
holding out a square of paper for him to take.
            He did and glancing at the thing, he
saw what made her grin so. It was a picture of him on a table, microphone in
hand, drink in the other. Memories suddenly flashed in his head. Abba. Dancing Queen. The Macarena. “Dear
lord, I was very drunk last night,” he muttered, shamefacedly, falling to sit
on the edge of his bed.
            Penny chuckled, “At least you didn’t
do anything you’d really regret. Felix’s partner got you out of there before
that could happen.”
            “Yes,” he said, absentmindedly. He
found the woman’s face in the picture, huddled with Raj and his sister,
laughing at the spectacle he made. His fingers brushed against her image,
trembling as he remembered what it was to really touch her skin. “Before I did
anything I’d really regret,” he said stiffly.
            Sheldon offered the picture back to
Penny but she refused, “Keep it. I have plenty of copies,” she giggled, turning
away. “You might want to keep that in mind, the next time you decide to tell me
where to sit.”

            Alone again, Sheldon stared at the
picture. He should have torn it up, he told himself. Forgot it along with her
but as he stared at the thing in the centre of his palm, he couldn’t bring
himself to do it. He could not close his fist but he could let it twist in the
air as it floated inside the garbage can.
            He made a mistake. His life centred
on his work, there was little time or call for anything else, certainly nothing
as messy as a relationship of that nature. The ones he tried to forge with
Leonard, Raj, Howard and sometimes Penny were giving him enough headaches.
            That
and this hangover, he groaned, falling into the bed and cuddling his
pillow.

xXx

            Deirdre wore her shades to hide her
red eyes. Her hair tussled, blouse askew and pants wrinkled, she looked more
like a perp than a cop. Felix didn’t look any better.
Resting his head on his big fist she could see his handsome rugged features
were hidden behind a five o’ clock shadow. His hair and suit jacket messed. He
spun lazily to face her as she flopped into her desk seat and kindly pushed a
cup of coffee across the desk.
            Deidre took the mug eagerly,
welcoming the warmth in her hands. “You look like shit, Fe.”
            “I feel like it,” he grunted. “Those
nerds sure know how to party.” Deirdre rolled her eyes, gulping down the steamy
brew and Felix chuckled, “Well I know you had babysitting duty with the drunk one, but you have to admit the party was pretty wild
and fun up until then.”
            Dierdre
set the cup down with a pronounced swallow and turned to her computer, “So you
and Penny hit it off?” she asked, typing away.
            Felix shook his head. “I think I’m
being had. She’s using me to make the twitchy one jealous.”
            “You mean Leonard,” she said in
between her furious typing. “So she’s done with you?”
            “Maybe,” he shrugged. “We’re
supposed to have lunch today.” He reclined in his chair and folded his muscled
arms behind his head. “Even if she breaks it off, going to the party wasn’t a
total bust. I got a few numbers. What about you?”
            “No comment,” she said reaching for
her phone. It vibrated in her pocket and picking it up, she frowned at the
news.
            Felix stood seeing her rise from her
seat, taking her gun from her drawer. She strapped it in the holster at her
back and snapped the cellular shut. “Problem, D?” he asked.
            “You might want to take a rain check
on that lunch with Penny. We got a body out in Wilshire.”
            “That’s out of our district.”
            “I know. And so does the Chief, who
asked us as a ‘personal favour’ to go.”
            “He asked you to go,” Felix snickered.
            Deirdre was one of the best
detectives on the force. Her social skills were a little lacking so
interrogation wasn’t her forte but it didn’t hinder her. Bowen often closed her
cases without confessions but with cold hard, irrefutable evidence. Felix
thought it was almost creepy how she could step into a crime scene and know
exactly what happened before a word was said.
            It also unsettled him how observant
she was. She must have had a eidetic memory because
she could notice a chipped button on inside of a jacket she only glimpsed once.
The tiniest details did not escape her and at the moment, she noticed that
Felix looked somewhat saddened by the truth in his own statement.
            “Maybe he did,” she shrugged. “But
you’re my partner, so you suffer with me.” She laid a hand on his shoulder as
she passed. “Besides, who would be able to charm the witnesses like you do? If
I could, I’d be front runner for this Lieutenant promotion.”
            “We’ll work on that on the way,”
Felix winked. “And you have that promotion in the bag.”
            “Say that when I get my shiny new
badge,” she chuckled.
            “Well, I guess the great thing about
the hour drive is you’ll have time to tell me all about what happened after you
left the party.”
            Deirdre’s eye twitched but the
shades she wore hid the nervous tick. She watched, numb and cold for an instant
as Felix hopped of the last step and burst though the double doors of the
precinct building. She considered telling him the truth a moment and then said,
            “Nothing really happened,” and
followed behind him, focusing on keeping her voice even and neutral. Felix was
too adept at hearing when anyone told a lie. “I dropped off the Doc, caught a
few winks and got up to meet you. And don’t think for one second I’m going to
forget that owe,
Fe.”
            She added that because it was
expected that she bitch about it and not to mention it was a great re-direct
for the conversation which once again became totally about the man and his
young blonde lady.
            “It was well worth it,” he said, dreamily staring off into space.
            “How so?” she goaded, keeping the
topic of conversation solely on him. Felix was as smitten as one man could be
and happily obliged, droning on and on much to her delight. The more time he
spent merrily talking about Penny and how she made him feel, the less time she
had to think about what she had done. Or the smell that permeated her clothes
or the taste that lingered on her lips.
            Deirdre smoothly wiped her mouth
with the back of her hand and made herself comfortable
in the car seat. She smiled happily as Felix, at the wheel, voiced his hopes
for his next date with Penny.

A/N: Haywire_Hakaze2! :D Your
comment so made my day and looks like
you got your wish, there’s another BBT fic! And, I’ll
try and wedge some more Howard in the next instalment.
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The Stairwell Postulate