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Redemption (Kurt, Kurofsky) - NC-17	By : ibshafer Category: G through L > Glee Views: 5726 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee and make no money off the writing of these degenerate fics...

Chapter List
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Story: Redemption – Part 4/6
Chapter: Reality Check
Fandom: Glee
Author: ibshafer
Rating: Hard R…
Character/Pairing: Kurt/Karofsky
Disclaimer: I don't own these people, they own themselves and are just nice enough to let me spin them around the page now and then.
Summary: Even the best laid plans of mice and men, sometimes go awry...
Warnings: none
A/N: The author does not in any way condone bullying or any form of aggression towards homosexuals, or anyone else, for that matter.
http://community.livejournal.com/gleeslash/972442.html

http://community.livejournal.com/gleeslash/983297.html#cutid1

http://community.livejournal.com/gleeslash/984779.html
http://community.livejournal.com/gleeslash/987523.html#cutid1

Reality Check
- ibshafer
“You still don’t trust me, do you?”

Much as Kurt knew he really ought to respond to that question, the answer was tragically obvious; Dave was still bent halfway across the Jeep’s front seat and Kurt was wedged up against the passenger side door, face flushed, breathing hard, shirt half open and hair loose on his forehead.

He made a lame, too-late attempt to reorganize himself in his seat, knowing full well whatever he said, the damage had been done, but he smoothed back his hair anyway and pulled the plum-colored silk across his chest.

“I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t,” he said, trying to blot out the sound of his own voice screaming “No, NO!!” though he would almost swear he could still hear it echoing through the 4X4’s interior. In an attempt at nonchalance, he pulled the rear-view toward him and inspected his hair, running his fingers through waves to pull them back into shape.

The silence that followed was only broken by the sound of a deep and rumbling sigh and Kurt snuck a glance over at Karofsky who, apart from sitting up straight, had not moved.

“Are you gonna to tell me I came on too strong or I made assumptions I shouldn’t have,” Dave finally asked, jaw set. “Because I’m pretty sure you’re the one that made the first move.” Now that Kurt looked, Dave’s shirt was open too and Kurt was fairly certain the big jock hadn’t done that himself…

How do I tell him?

Kurt agonized for a full minute; how to tell Karofsky, his first official boyfriend, on their first official date, that when Kurt kissed him and Dave had started to kiss him back, when Dave had, in fact, started to get a bit more aggressive about it…that Kurt had flashed back to the last time that Karofsky had slammed him against the locker, slammed him so hard that he’d fallen on his ass, and that Kurt had suddenly felt that chilled dread he’d experienced when the big jock had threatened to kill him. All while Karofsky’s lips and tongue had been hot against Kurt’s and the feel of those big hands, those fabulous hands of his, were in his hair, on his neck, and though they should have been making his insides weak, all he could think about was how thin his neck was and how easily those big bear hands would be able to break it.

There had not been the slightest hint of aggression, or even anger, in anything Dave Karofsky had done since the moment he’d confessed his true feelings for Kurt in the parking lot of the Dalton Academy over a month ago, and Kurt had long since forgiven Dave for how poorly he had handled the whole conflicted/frightened/emergent-homosexual thing, so when that Fear Reel had started to spool out across the big screen in Kurt head, just as things were getting interesting – and hot! – no one was more surprised than Kurt was.

But how to tell Dave that, how to explain it, without really, really hurting him, or dredging up that whole passel of guilt again? Kurt was pretty sure Dave would take it hard.

More than that, how to get passed those feelings, those old fears, so they could have the kind of relationship, a physical one, they both clearly wanted.

Kurt was distressed; he had thought that wound had long since scabbed over.

“Are you gonna to say something?” Dave’s voice was flat, but expectant, and Kurt winced when he swore he heard that voice break.

Counting to ten and steeling himself, Kurt slid across the seat in lieu of an answer, grabbing Karofsky by the soft corduroy lapels of his jacket, and pulling the big jock back into a deep, deep kiss.

The surprised moan in the back of Karofsky’s throat was all the forgiveness Kurt needed, but when Dave dragged his mouth from Kurt’s to run his tongue down his slender neck, when the pressure of his body against Kurt’s began to press him back and down upon the seat again, Kurt drew away abruptly, the phantom pain of metal locker stinging the back of his head, but this time, Dave was prepared, big arms fast around Kurt’s back, so all Kurt could do was press his forehead into the hollow of Karofsky’s throat and cry.

To his credit, Dave didn’t let go at the sound of Kurt’s tears, just drew him against his wide chest, rocking him softly until the tears quieted.

“I get it,” he said softly, hands running over Kurt’s back, soothing through the herringboned-wool. “Trust is one thing. Scars are another.” Kurt felt him sigh and then, heartbreakingly, to shake in that way tough guys do when they a fighting their own emotions.

Moving the few inches he needed for clearance, Kurt found Dave’s mouth, pulled tight in frozen dismay, and without a word, kissed him softly, once, then again.

“What a couple of crybabies, huh,” Kurt asked, laughing through a fresh wave of tears. Karofsky was smiling and nodding at the same time, fishing out a handkerchief to blot at Kurt’s face. “I’m sorry,” Kurt said, grabbing it from Dave’s fingers to wipe at the big jock’s blotchy cheeks.
“I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t think I still…”

Dave was shaking his head. “Shit, don’t you apologize. This is my fault. I’m the asshole. I’m the jerk. I’m the freak—”

Kurt kissed him again, then pulled away, face flushed, a second later. “Shut up,” he said, grin wide, eyes still glued to Karofsky’s lips. “I like shutting you up that way.” Dave smiled at this, but the smile was anemic. “Look, you were a jerk, you were an asshole, but you’re not anymore and I know that. It’s just…”

“Just?” Dave prompted, voice low.

“It’s just my nervous system – I’m wired like a cat, don’t you know? Freaking out is my natural instinct.” Beaming, he put both hands on Karofsky’s face, pulling at his full cheeks until he broke into a huge grin.

Suddenly feeling to need to be serious, he placed his lips against Karofsky’s forehead, kissed him gently, then slipped his arms around his neck, holding him close.

“Maybe we’ll just have to go more slowly,” he said softly, sadly.

Dave pulled him closer, squeezing him tightly against his chest. “Don’t think I won’t remind you the next time you jump me, Hummel.”

Kurt chuckled softly, warm against that big chest. “Riiight. I’m sure you will.”

“Oh, you don’t think so?” Karofsky’s voice rumbled through him and the feel of his laughter tickled.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I can’t trust you as far as I could throw you and,” he ran a hand across Dave’s back, “at, what, 250, I’m thinking I couldn’t throw you too far…”

“Wait a sec… I thought you just told me you trusted me?” Strong fingers pinched Kurt’s side.

“I take it back! I take it back!” Kurt squeaked, to which Dave just pinched him again…

fin…
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Redemption (Kurt, Kurofsky) - NC-17