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Darkest Nights	By : Bucken-Berry Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 1449 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters and I'm not making money from this.

Chapter List
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Elliot was watching George intently; he seemed to be having an intense nightmare. His brow was creased and he made tiny movements every so often.
Elliot frowned, trying to decide what to do.
George woke up, feeling a lingering fear; he was about to move when he remembered he was in a hospital. Someone was running a cloth on his forehead. It felt perfect against his feverish body- he wished they would put more cool cloths on him. He relaxed a little but opened his eyes to make sure he was safe.
"Hey, George," Elliot murmured when he noticed he was awake.
"Hey."
"Feeling any better?"
"Not really. But that washcloth feels so good."
"It's about time you felt something that didn't hurt you," Elliot said before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry George, I didn't-"
"No, it's all right," he said with a sigh. He closed his eyes.
"I'm going to kick their asses when we get them," Elliot said with a snarl. George stayed quiet, causing Elliot some concern.
"George, you there?" Elliot asked with a soft voice. He shook his shoulder gently. "Wake up."
He opened his eyes. He looked slightly irritated, but lethargic.
"I'm sorry," Elliot whispered. He gritted his teeth to stop himself from punching the bed. He was going to lose control of his anger soon. No one touched George and got away with it. He almost smiled at the thought of Olivia and him double teaming some bastard in the interrogation room.
"Do you want to go back to sleep?" he asked as he distracted himself by resuming the motions with the towel.
"Yes, but first I want to talk a while," George said.
"They're sending in a psychiatrist tomorrow."
"That's not what I meant. But, could you stay with me during the sessions?
"Ok," Elliot said. George didn't smile; Elliot wouldn't be surprised if he didn't smile again for years.
"There's one more thing I want to talk about," George stated.
"Yes?" he asked.
"You're angry," George said simply.
"Not at you."
"I know. But do you want to talk about it?" Elliot almost laughed- not at George, but at the way he was half-asleep and still trying to get people talk about their feelings.
"George, you should only be worrying about recovering right now," Elliot said softly.
"This is kind of like second nature to me," George admitted.
"Well, ignore it for once. Stop putting everyone before yourself and get your energy back. I'll talk to Rebecca or someone."
"Just don't keep it bottled up."
"Ok, ok. I promise I won't. Now will you rest?" he asked. He touched George's hand.
"Ok, Elliot," he said quietly.
"Sleep well, George."
"I haven't been but we'll see," he said. It wasn't long before George was asleep again.
Elliot stood up and started walking around restlessly. George usually spoke confidently, almost energetic. But even talking had taken a herculean effort from him. He spoke almost too quietly to be heard. He felt overwhelmed- he supposed everyone else felt the same. They didn't always see eye-to-eye, and just about everyone had had a fight with him at some point or another, but everyone had fought with everyone, and that didn't mean that it hadn't been awful. They were all on edge and they'd all lost their tempers at suspects lately.
The detectives at the 1-6 had been ordered to talk to someone. He hadn't, yet- the need to be there for George was too great. But he would have to soon.
He sighed and moved his hand over George's chest and stomach. George felt too thin and boney for his liking- he wondered exactly how much weight he'd lost. He hadn't seen George eat anything yet, and though he supposed it was likely that he wasn't hungry at all right now, he still worried.
He leaned down and kissed George's forehead. George's brow creased again, as though he was in pain. Elliot stopped, concerned, but it seemed George was having another nightmare. He hoped it was because of illness rather than an early sign of post-traumatic stress.
The thought made him shiver slightly. That was the last thing George needed- to have his brain replay the memories over and over again. He hoped the hospital shrink would make sure that didn't happen.
Deciding that he, too, should talk to someone sooner rather than later, he pulled open his cell phone and made an appointment with Doctor Hendricks.

“How close are you to Doctor Huang?” Rebecca Hendricks asked Elliot.
“Not… I mean… We aren’t friends in the classic sense. But he’s helped me a lot and saved my ass even more.”
“Tell me about him.”
“He’s compassionate, good with vics. We all are, but what’s special about him is, even though he hates the crimes we deal with, he treats the perps. We hate them; we’re more than happy to forget about them once they go to jail or a mental institute. He doesn’t see it as black-and-white, they’re bad no matter what once they commit a crime. He sees them as people. He’s just so… altruistic.”
“It takes a special person to do that,” she agreed.
“He just never loses it. Never gets upset. Well, actually, he did once.”
“What happened?”
“I took advantage of a suspect’s schizophrenia to coerce his confession,” Elliot admitted. He was still ashamed of doing that.
“So the only time he’s gotten angry has been on behalf of others.”
“Yeah.”
“How do you think he’s coping with what happened to him now?”
“I don’t know.”
“Have you seen him?”
“Yes.”
She looked at him inquiringly. “How was he?”
“He was in bad shape. I rode with him in the ambulance and he had marks everywhere. He was septic, and even when he woke up, he wasn’t good- he’s almost always sleeping. I’ve never seen him exhausted at all, let alone lethargic.”
“Sepsis does take quite a toll on the body.”
“Yeah. I’m just not used to seeing him…”
“Seeing him with human weaknesses?”
“I guess so.”
“How do you think his mental health is?”
“He’s not really himself.”
“That’s to be expected. You know how victims are; their world has gone so wrong they’re not sure if they’ll ever be the same again, and it’s even worse for those that have been tortured. Has he talked to you?”
“Yes.”
“What did he say?”
“Once, he was semi-delirious and he said he thought he was dreaming.”
“Why?”
“Because he wasn’t being tortured anymore.”
“That must’ve been hard to hear.”
“It was. I felt terrible. I didn’t have a lot of time to think about it, though.”
“Why?”
“Because then he told me he was in love with me.”
“Did he mean it?”
“Yeah. I talked to him a few days later.”
“Do you reciprocate the feelings?”
“Yes.”
“Even though you’ve never identified as gay before?”
“It’s odd but it’s the truth,” Elliot said forcefully.
“Have you told him that?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure it’s not desire to protect him?”
“Yes, I thought about it a lot. I think it just took this to bring into light.”
“Where are you going from here?”
“I told him he needed time to recover before he made any decisions.”
“He does.”
“He has a long way to go.”
“Do you want to be a part of his recovery?”
“Of course. I just can’t as his lover, yet,” Elliot stated.
“Do you think you can handle it? I’ve seen you use everything you have to help others until there’s nothing left for you. Someone with George’s injuries is bound to be a drain- no offense meant, of course. He’s been through hell, and I don’t minimize that. But he will take a lot of energy to help. In addition, you mentioned you want to be his lover someday. Are you ready to deal with the emotional burden the changes will place on you?”
“If George is there, I can deal with it.”
“He gives you drive.”
“Yes.” There was a pause for a moment before Elliot continued, “I’m almost afraid of catching the guys that did this. I’m not sure if George could handle testifying, and I think I might hurt any suspect we catch. Part of me wants to hand this case to another unit, part of me wants to find the bastards that did this myself and hurt them.”
“Have you been working on your anger management?”
“Yeah.”
She looked at him for a moment. “That’s enough for this session. I want to see you again though.”
“Ok,” he said as he walked out the door.
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Darkest Nights