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Edge of Insanity	By : hatochiisai Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 4649 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor do I make any financial profit off of writing this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Edge of Insanity

Hatochiisai aka Ahmose Inarus

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

SLASH WARNING!!! Hotch/Reid

NOTE!!!! Most of this chapter is made of flashbacks, though a couple of the are new to the readers. In these cases, the events were mentioned, but this is the first time you get to see them played out, such as Reid’s molestation in college I first introduced in ‘Unexpectedly Expecting’ (keep in mind that was a ‘what if’ fic for this series, so Reid never told Hotch in this series) and how Jonathan Wilkes abducted Reid in ‘The Lies of Life’.

CHAPTER 5

Reid opened his eyes when the wake up call blared through the ward. Slowly, mechanically, he stood, made his bed, and dressed in sweat pants and a sweat shirt, and then slipped on his slippers and shuffled from the room, pulling on his robe. He got into the medication line and took his pills without protest before making his way into the cafeteria. Breakfast was served. Bland, lukewarm scrambled eggs, soggy waffles and overcooked bacon with some melon on the side. It took Reid half an hour to choke down one bite of egg and a strip of bacon, and a few mushy pieces of Honeydew melon.

He stood and left the table, making his way to the day room. He dropped onto the armchair that sat before the window in the corner. He drew his feet up onto the chair and wrapped his arms around his knees, hugging his legs to his chest and slowly turning the ring on his finger. Then he just sat and stared, looking out at the trees that were beginning to change color. The seasonal event that once had him delighted and amazed, now didn’t awaken anything in him. It had been five days since the team had gone to Oregon. Five days since he had begun his medication. And now… he was dead to the world. And the world was dead to him. Nothing piqued his interest. Nothing made him smile. He was empty. Depression ruled his every waking moment.

The last word he had spoken was ‘Go.’ Five days ago he had told his lover to leave, and as soon as the man had left the room, Reid shut down.

When the time came for group therapy, Reid refused to sit on one of the chairs or sofas in the room. He perched himself on a desk in the corner and stared out the window. He tuned out the voices and just watched a rabbit hop around the lawn, stopping to nibble from time to time.

“SPENCER!” He jumped and turned at the raised voice. He stared at the doctor. A Dr. Cassandra Wycoff. She smiled at him. “Would you like to join us?” Reid sighed. He liked her. He did. She was always kind to him… very gentle. God, he wished she were his doctor… he felt that he could trust her. Hell, she was the only one who could call him by his first name and get a response…

“Spencer?” He looked at her. She pat the sofa beside her; she had saved him a space. He stared for a moment, then turned and looked back outside. He heard her sigh and walk over. Then, her hand came to rest on his shoulder. He turned to look at her again. She smiled and took his hand, and he uncurled and slid off of the desk, allowing her to lead him over to the couch, and he sat down beside her, staring at his knees as he felt all of the eyes on him.

“You’ve been here a week, Spencer.” She said, still holding his hand. “Why don’t you tell the group a bit about yourself?” Reid didn’t move. Didn’t speak. “How about… how old are you?” Silence. “Where are you from?” Still nothing. “Why don’t you tell them about your job before you came here?”

“No…” Jay gasped. “Stop it!!!” He leapt up, pointing an accusing finger at Reid. Reid’s head snapped up and he stared at the man. “Get out of my head!!!”

“Jay! No one here is reading your mind.” Dr. Wycoff soothed, standing and holding out her hands, palms facing the man.

“No no no…” Jay gasped, wagging a finger at Reid. “It’s crunchy… crunchy crunchy… And they want it… But I won’t let them have it, no I won’t. I won’t! I WON’T!!!”

“Jay, why don’t we go rest…” Dr. Wycoff said, walking over and putting her arm around the man.

“Rest… Object at rest tends to stay at rest… object in motion tends to… milk. Chocolate milk?”

“Maybe later, Jay.” Dr. Wycoff said, and handed him off to one of the nurses. Jay was guided from the room, his voice drifting back. "AAAAAH!!! The platypus! Platypus… platypus… He’s back!!! He's going to burn all the bananas and kill us! ALL of us! With a rubber band!!! Rubber band… rubber… rubber… condoms? NO!!! NO NO NO!!! They WON’T! They WON’T!!! I won’t do it! I WON’T!!!"

“Somebody get me a sedative!” The nurse cried.

Reid sighed, closing his eyes and letting his face fall into his hand as Jay’s voice drifted back once more, curiously saying “Oh… are you the otter?”

“… Fuckin loony.” One of the other patients grumbled, while another began to rock back and forth, mumbling chemical equations under his breath and another giggled. Dr. Wycoff sighed, placing a hand on Reid’s arm.

“Now then.” She said, obviously trying to continue as if Jay’s freak out hadn’t occurred. “Spencer. Tell us about yourself.”

Reid just drew his legs up onto the couch and hugged them to his chest, hiding his face in his knees.

“Spencer?” The doctor asked, then sighed. “Martin, care to tell us what’s going through your mind?” Reid relaxed when attention left him, closing his eyes and thoroughly zoning out. He didn’t come back to himself until everyone stood, and then he stood and left the room with them. He made his way to the day room and once more parked himself in the arm chair before the window. And all he had was the view of that which he could not have. And he began to think about things… he found himself longing to feel something. Anything but this emptiness gnawing at the pit of his stomach.

He found himself longing for the feel of a cool needle sliding into his veins… the wonderful embrace of comfort and oblivion as the sweet nectar rushed through his body, drowning out the emotional pain and the loneliness and the slowly building depression.

Tears came to his eyes. He’d had cravings… but they had stopped when he and Aaron had gotten together. He found that the cravings for the drug’s embrace vanished within his lover’s embrace. But he didn’t have that now. And he was being hit with the worst craving he’d had since he had been in withdrawal. He began to shake. His breathing picked up. Tears flooded down his face and he dug his fingernails into the inside of his elbow, absently beginning to scratch at that terrible, burning itch.

Long minutes passed. He kept scratching, harder and harder… His mind swirled.

“What are you doing?” Reid asked.

Tobias said nothing, kneeling and wrapping the belt around Reid’s right bicep.

“No… Don’t… Please don’t.” He whimpered.

“It helps.” The man said, pulling out a syringe and a small bottle… “Don’t tell my father. He doesn’t know they’re here.”

“Please… I… I don’t want it! I don’t want it! Please…!” He begged.

“Trust me. It helps.” Tobias said, exposing the inside of Reid’s elbow and locating a vein. “I know.”

“Please don’t!” Reid pleaded once more as the needle slid into his vein. Then… a feeling of ecstasy flooded through him…

Reid’s eyes fluttered and he moaned softly as remembered that very first taste… His mind continued to swirl.

“Only one bullet in that gun, boy.”

BANG!!!

Reid scrambled over the leaves towards the fallen body, shoving the knife away.

“You killed him!” Tobias gasped, joyfully.

“Tobias…”

“You think I’ll get to see my mom again?”

“I’m sorry…” Reid breathed, and watched the light go out of his eyes, feeling the guilt in his heart.

Memories flew by… including one of a horrifying situation that had occurred in college… Reid had never told anyone about it… not even Hotch…

Young fifteen year old Spencer smiled and closed the door to his dorm room behind the House Mother, Mrs. Sanez. She always came up to check on the child before his bed time. The woman adored him, and he loved her… he often wondered… was this what it was like to have a real mother? And then he would wince as the guilt hit him. His mother may be sick, but she was his mother. And he loved her. And she loved him.

Half an hour later, there was a knock on Spencer’s door. He opened it.

“Hey squirt.” The young man on the other side of the door grinned, and Spencer smiled.

“Hi Terry.” He said, greeting his friend, Terry Posadas. He was twenty three.

Terry walked in, and put down his back pack, unzipping it. “Check it out.” He announced, and pulled out several bottles. Bottles of liquor. He tossed the young boy a DVD.

“Put that in!” He called, and young Spencer nodded. He looked at the title and cover, and turned red. It was a porno.

“Um…”

“Just put it in, kid.” Terry chuckled. Spencer nodded and did as he was told.

“Here. Try this.” Terry said, handing the boy a small shot glass of a brown liquid. Spencer eyed it, and sipped it, then made a face.

“Uhg!”

“You’re supposed to shoot it, kid!” Terry laughed.

“What is that?!”

“Jack Daniels. My best friend.”

“Your best friend is disgusting.” Spencer snorted, taking the second shot glass he’d been handed. He sipped the clear liquid and choked.

“And that’s Vodka.” Terry grinned. “Here. Try this.” And he opened a bottle of Coconut Bay Rum and handed it to the boy. Spencer sipped it and made a face, then shrugged. Grinning, Terry turned and pulled out a plastic cup and dumped some Pina Colada drink mix into the cup with some rum, and then slipped in a bit of a powder, stirred it, and handed it to the boy. “Bottoms up.” He said, and Spencer took the drink and sipped. His eyes widened and he smacked his lips.

“Not bad!” The boy exclaimed. Terry poured himself a drink, clicked his cup up against the teenager’s cup, and downed the contents. Then he focused on the TV. Or pretended to… Through the corner of his eye, he watched Spencer… waited… He saw the boy get dizzy. And then, he slumped over. Terry caught him and his cup, and set them both down.

Spencer woke to the gentle hands touching his body all over… fingers stroking his thighs, and lips kissing over his torso… he felt the air conditioner blowing over his body, and his heart froze… he was naked. He opened his eyes and whimpered. Terry was touching him… but his face was blurry… Spencer couldn’t focus. He felt dizzy and heavy… he couldn’t move.

“Shhhh…” Terry hissed. “Don’t be scared… this will feel good. You’ll like it. Everything is fine.” Terry murmured, and Spencer began to gasp in horror. Terry’s hands moved up his thighs, and tears came to Spencer’s eyes as those hands reached his groin. Spencer was a late bloomer. He was fifteen, and just beginning to enter puberty. His genitals were still those belonging to a boy, not a man.

Terry sighed. “My God, you’re gorgeous… soft and smooth…” He fondled Spencer, and looked up at the soft sob. “Don’t worry.” Terry said in a comforting tone. “You’re young. It will get bigger. So will you. Shame, really…” And a hand slid down Reid’s thigh and underneath to cup the teen’s buttock. Spencer whimpered again. “My God, you’re soft… fresh and tender… I’ll be you’re sweet…” Spencer winced at the breath on his face, and then the tongue running up his chest, and neck… a breath on his ear… “I’ll bet you’re tight, too…” And a finger slid between his buttocks and fingered his entrance. Spencer closed his eyes and cried, tears flooding down his face as his body trembled in fear.

“Shhh… that’s for later…” Terry breathed, removing his hand from between Spencer’s legs and sliding down the zipper on his own pants, pulling out his erection and beginning to stroke his length with one hand, while stroking Spencer’s body with the other, panting and taking in the sight of the soft, young body. It only took a few minutes for him to find his release and ejaculate. He cleaned up with some tissues, covered Spencer’s naked body with the blankets and kissed his cheek.

“Sleep tight, squirt.” He murmured. “See you tomorrow.” And he slipped out of the room.

Reid sobbed as he recalled that… horrible violation… but it didn’t stop there. The memories continued to assault him…

Reid drove down the snow covered highway, heading back to Vegas from Salt Lake City after helping out on a case there. He was supposed to be on vacation, dammit! A pick up truck passed him by on the other side of the road. Ten minutes later, Reid noticed the same truck in his rearview mirror. It gunned its engine and blew past him. Reid scowled. He was tempted to turn on his lights and pull the guy over but he wasn’t Highway patrol. Another ten minutes later, the same truck was coming back towards him. Suddenly, it changed its path. It was coming straight for him! Eyes wide, Reid swerved. The truck matched it. They were still headed straight for each other!

“NO!” Reid shouted, and jerked his wheel violently. At the last moment, the vehicles missed each other. Reid’s car skidded off of the road and his head bounced off of the steering wheel. He saw stars. The next thing he knew, cold air washed over him as the door to the car opened. He blinked up at a man, who was staring at him. The man reached out and brushed his fingers down Reid’s cheek.

“… Alex.” He breathed, and then plunged a needle into Reid’s neck. That was the last thing he remembered…

Reid sat gasping as he remembered his abduction by Jonathan Wilkes and the month he had spent living as the man’s son, Alexander, who had died years ago. His mind flashed back to Officer James Lestrap in Austin, Texas.

“I’m blind, not stupid.” Reid said calmly. “We should have been at the hotel by now. And we’re not. You’re speeding up. There are lots of fast moving cars around us… And I’ve kept track of your turns. We’re northbound on I 35. What’s your plan? You can’t just get rid of me. I’m a Federal Agent. If you kill me, there will be an army of agents down here hunting you. And if you let me go, I’ll bring you in. There’s no way out, officer. It’s over. Turn yourself in.”

“You arrogant little…”

Reid gasped as Lestrap lashed out and seized his hair. Then he head was slammed into the side of the car. The next thing he knew, he was being carried over Officer Lestrap’s shoulder. Judging by the sounds around them, they were in a cave. Reid’s wrists were bound in duct tape, as were his ankles. Strips of tape were layered over his mouth, as well. Suddenly, LeStrap stopped.

“It’s too bad, kid… I kinda liked you.” He said, lowering Reid to the cool stone floor. “I’m almost sad to do this.” Then, there was a foot on his ribs, shoving. Reid grunted as he was rolled, but then cried out as the rock beneath him vanished. He fell, and moments later splashed into a shallow pool. It wasn’t deep enough to fully break his fall, and he landed harshly on the stone floor of the pool. He thrashed, finally managing to sit up on his knees and get his head above the water. Then he sat there, shivering and whimpering in the cold, pain and fear, listening to LeStrap leaving him in the pitch blackness.

Reid sobbed softly, remembering the fear that had taken over. He dug his fingernails into his arm even harder as his thoughts drifted to Shane Harvey.

Hands spread his legs open and tilted his hips.

Then a pressure. A hot pressure as he felt the blunt tip of Shane’s erection pressing up against him. The pressure grew and grew, and then there was agony as Reid’ body gave. He yelped as his body was painfully stretched by the unwanted penetration. Shane groaned loudly, sliding deeper and deeper into the young man’s body. Reid whined loudly, tears falling down his face. But Shane wasn’t concerned with that. He was only thinking about the hot flesh wrapped tightly around his length. It amazed him how the muscles tightened and contracted around him, seemingly hugging his erection, drawing it deeper still.

Reid breathed harshly through clenched teeth, groaning at the pain. He hissed when Shane drew out, leaving just the head of his erection in his body, then plowed forwards. Reid yelped, feeling something give. Then he felt a wet heat tricking over his leg. He gasped as Shane didn’t hesitate, but repeated the movement. It became a steady thing, pumping his thick erection into the thin body beneath him, and it was amazing. Shane was in heaven…

Reid however, was in hell. It hurt. There was no pleasure in this. And Reid felt like something had to be wrong with him for him to feel that this was a good thing. He drowned in the pain in his body, the sick feeling in his stomach, and the pounding guilt in his soul.

Reid began to rock himself as the memories flooded back…

Reid yelped as he was struck across the face again. He fell back and felt harsh hands on his hips, flipping him over. Shane climbed into the back of the car, closed the back hatch and straddled Reid’s thighs, wrestling his pants down. Reid cried out, thrashing. A moment later, there was tape over his mouth again. Reid closed his eyes, not allowing the tears to fall.

Thunder rolled over the car and rain began to fall. Reid decided that the rain was the world crying for him. And if the world cried for him, he wouldn’t have to cry for himself. He swallowed the lump in his throat and his eyes stopped prickling with the desire to let the tears fall. He closed his eyes and groaned in pain and helpless distress as his body was stretched to accommodate the unwelcome invader. But Shane didn’t give Reid’s body the time to adjust. He took him hard and fast and Reid cried out, digging his nails into the back of the folded down seat. Shane was intentionally being rough this time; he wanted to hurt Reid.

The youth closed his eyes, body shaking in both pain, and the cold temperature. The air grew thick and damp with the falling rain. Reid turned his focus away from what was happening between his legs and listened to the rain in the trees around them… the birds… the sun was beginning to rise. He allowed the peaceful noises to soothe his tortured soul. And he didn’t even realize that Shane had finished until the man pulled away. He pulled Reid’s pants up to cover his intimate areas, then climbed into the driver’s seat, started the car and started driving again.

First Shane Harvey, then Arturo Coronado. Reid drew in a shaky breath. He had been abducted and sexually assaulted… FOUR times! By three different men! A sob escaped him as he amended that thought. Five men and three women… Terry Posadas, Shane Harvey, Arturo Coronado, and Coronado’s slaves, Paloma, Preciosa, Sirena, Jaguar and Aguilo.

Reid’s head rolled on his shoulders as he groaned as his emotional pain began to build… His mind flashed through his first encounter with Coronado and the sexual torture the man had put him through on his yacht… then he flashed to the multiple rapes when he had been in Brazil, and the several instances where he had been assaulted by the other slaves. And now he was here… locked up… And in that moment, he felt his mental strength crumble, and his spirit shattered, the shards lacerating him through and through, heart and soul…

He had stayed strong through everything… all of them…

Coronado and his slaves…

Shane Harvey.

James Lestrap.

Jonathan Wilkes.

Andrew Cain.

Benjamin Cyrus.

Phillip Dowd.

Tobias Henkel.

Terry Posadas.

You are stronger than him. He can NOT break you.

Gideon had been right. They hadn’t broken him. None of them. He had gone head to head with all of them. He had made it through them all. They were all in his past. But now as he faced his past, he found them all standing against him. United. And he didn’t stand a chance. He faced them. And he lost.

And finally…

FINALLY.

Locked away from the world, miles away from his team, his family, his stability, Spencer Reid finally broke.

“HEY!” A patient cried. “The new kid’s losing it!”

Riley hurried into the room, and his eyes widened.

“Spencer! DR. HARRIS!!!” He thundered, and ran across the room, kneeling beside the arm chair where Reid sat curled up, sobbing hysterically and scratching his arm, violent tremors running through him. Riley seized his wrists, being careful with the one that was in a splint, and stared at the boy’s bloody fingertips, his own skin and flesh underneath his fingernails, and the inside of his elbow was a mess.

“Spencer.” The man gasped, trying to calm the youth. “Spencer, calm down… come on, kiddo… Look at me.” Several nurses and orderlies ran over, followed by Drs. Harris and Wycoff.

Reid cried out as he was dragged out of the chair and laid on the floor… hands were all over him. It had all become too much. His Post Traumatic Stress reared its head in a vicious attack unlike anything Reid had ever experienced. When he opened his eyes, he didn’t see the doctors, nurses and orderlies… He saw horrible faces from his past…

He saw Coronado and his slaves…

He saw Shane Harvey, James Lestrap, Jonathan Wilkes, Andrew Cain, Benjamin Cyrus, Phillip Dowd, Tobias Henkel and Terry Posadas.

“No!” Reid cried, tears flooding down his face. “Please… don’t hurt me! Please!” He heard voices, but he couldn’t make out their words. His mind raced. He had to give them what they wanted. Then they would leave him alone. “Do it…” He gasped, spreading his legs. “I won’t fight you. Please. Just do it and leave me alone. Ah!” He yipped when he felt a needle pierce the skin of his arm. He waited for the feel of euphoria. But it never came. Instead, a fog descended upon him. The voices became a dull roar in his ears, and his vision blurred. The faces became one mass, and then all was dark and quiet.

The men and women stood over the young man lying on the floor, tear tracks on his face and blood on his left arm and his right hand. He rolled his head and let out a weak whimper, struggling to spread his legs wider.

“Just get it over with… please… I… won’t fight… just don’t… hurt me…”

The staff stared down at him in sick horror as the boy continued to plead, his words slurring slightly.

“My God…” Riley breathed. “What has this kid gone through?”
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Edge of Insanity