Secrets | By : SeasonofSons Category: S through Z > Sons of Anarchy Views: 4002 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters used in this fiction work. All rights belong to FX and Kurt Sutter. I make no profit from the publication of this work. |
After being released from jail, Tara became ten times more distant from Jax. Her mind always seemed somewhere else, despite the communication he attempted. He'd assumed it was because of her stress, concern, but he really had no idea, and poor Hap had no idea either.
Tara's two lovers entered, exhausted from their long day. Hap tossed his cut to the couch as Jax entered the kitchen, seeing the crisp sheet of paper. He sat down slowly, reading over it. "Hap..." He breathed, things making a little more sense. The older man entered the kitchen, his face solemn. Jax slid the paper over to him, looking up at him with hazy eyes. Hap read it, and re-read it. "Oh my God..." Hap breathed, setting the paper down. "She's pregnant... Have you had ex with her?"
"Once... Shortly after she got out... But we both did before that..."
"So it could still be either of ours." Jax nodded. "Let's go see if she's still awake."
They decided to keep the pregnancy a secret as long as possible, not wanting to stir up the club if they didn't need to. When the Irish decided to take matters of guns into their own hands, Jax was even more happy no one knew.
Hap winced a little when Jax gave the command to burn Phil and their newest prospect. Death, bodies, didn't bug him, but knowing it was Jax's leadership that had inadvertently caused this, was hard.
When it was finished, the group followed Jax back to the clubhouse, their talk solemn and quiet for a large part of the night. Things were taking a turn for the worse, and no one could see a good outcome.
Tara stuck her head out of the door to Jax's old apartment. "Hap... Come here.." She whispered. Jax barely glanced up from his conversation with Chibs.
"What's up, sweetie?" Hap asked as Tara shut the door behind him. She sat on the bed, her head down. "If I tell you something... Can I have your word that it won't get back to Jax, or anyone?" Hap scowled but nodded, sitting next to her. She took his hand. "I'm divorcing Jax."
"What?" He moved to stand, but she squeezed his hand, her eyes desperate. "Please." He relaxed, looking at her with concerned eyes. "What's going on?"
"I need to get my boys... Our boys... Out of Charming. You know as well as I do that this town isn't safe for them. These lockdowns... The murders... Things are getting worse here." Hap nodded. "But to leave Jax... Tara..."
"You know he won't leave SAMCRO... Please, Happy... Help me keep our boys safe." Hap swallowed hard, weighing his options. "What's your plan?" He asked after a long silence. Tara relaxed visibly. She explained, slowly, her elaborate plan to first disengage Gemma's influence from Jax, and her equally elaborate plan to leave him. When she'd finished, Hap rose, pacing the room. "Do you... Do you know what will happen if Jax or the club finds out about this?"
"I die... Which is why I need your help. Protect me, our sons, please, Hap." Hap closed his eyes, images of their morbid bonfire choking tears behind his lids. "Fine... But if Jax leaves SAMCRO..."
"Then I'll welcome him back with open arms... And you."
"I'll be going Nomad if you leave... That way I can at least keep you safe, even from a distance." She nodded, burying her face in her hands. Hap held her close, kissing her forehead. "It'll be okay, Tara." She nodded. "I need to go back out there." She nodded again. He emerged, going over to help Gemma with their many guests. Then Chibs and Jax began screaming for everybody to get out, Hap tried his best to help, getting lost in the crowd. Once outside, he searched madly for Tara, relieved to see her and Thomas with Unser. He looked back at their clubhouse to see Jax and Chibs running out, Abel in Jax's arms. He felt his heart rise in his throat, hearing the explosion before he felt it. He rushed madly toward Jax, stumbling over his own feet. He reached them and grabbed for Jax and Abel, feeling immediately for broken bones as Jax looked back at their demolished clubhouse in awe.
Days passed sickeningly slow, and Hap felt worse and worse each day that he kept Tara's terrible secret from Jax. She kept him in the loop , which helped a little, but not much. The ultimate betrayal. The thought alone made Happy sick. When she finally made her final move to break Gemma's hold on Jax and the boys, the final step in separating not only Jax's son, but his own, from their only healthy grandmother, the reality set in for him.
Hap slipped quietly into Tara's hospital room, his face solemn. Tara caught his gaze and offered a comforting grin, nodding, just barely, so Jax wouldn't see. Jax's head was down, his face in his hands. He was shaking lightly, and Hap knew he was crying. Hap walked up and kissed Tara's temple. "This better be worth it." He breathed in her ear before going over to Jax, holding him close. The younger man sobbed on his shoulder, and Hap felt tears well in his own eyes, not for the never there child, but for the pain he knew he was helping to inflict on the one man he loved more than anything. "Are you going to put a restraining order on her?" He whispered, and Jax nodded. "I already signed the papers." He said, wiping his face. "I understand... I hate to..." He sighed softly. "The Irish called Chibs while you were out." Jax nodded. He rose and walked over to Tara. "I need to go, but I'll be back to pick you up tomorrow morning, okay?" She nodded. "I understand."
"I love you, Tara."
"Me too." She let him kiss her mouth before looking away gently. Jax looked at her sadly before squeezing her hand and walking out.
Hap squeezed Jax's shoulder. "What's on your mind, Prez?" He asked. "Tara... She's so distant... Don't you notice?"
"I do... But if she wants to be that way... There isn't much to do... Just... Let her think... She's stressed out." He nodded. "I guess... I just feel like the distance is so great... I'm so fucking lost on this."
"It's a relationship, Jax... One person can't keep it afloat. Let her think and decide..." He said softly, wrapping his arms around Jax. Jax blushed a little. "Someone will see..."
"I'm simply comforting my brother." He said, shrugging. He pressed a kiss to Jax's neck before letting go and heading out the hospital main doors.
And so the chess game went. Hap was a helpless viewer as Tara played her games, pulling the boys further and further away. His feeling of helplessness increased when Jax finally caught on, putting a twenty four hour surveillance on Tara and their sons. He had to bite his lip to keep from begging Jax to let her go... Let her save their boys... When Tig had the audacity to suggest maybe making Tara go away, Hap dug bruises in his legs to keep from punching his brother. Finally, things grew and grew, and Hap could no longer take it.
"Jax..." Jax looked over the counter at him. "What's up?"
"Can we talk?" He motioned to the makeshift chapel in the back of the ice cream shop. "Yeah." He followed him over and into the room, shutting the door. "What's up?" Hap sighed softly. "Listen... Tara... And the boys. I knew about it." Jax shoved himself backwards, shocked. "Excuse me? What the fuck did you just fucking say?" He went for Happy, his fists clenched. Hap raised his hands. "Listen to me, fucking shit!" He screamed. Jax's body remained tense, ready to fight, but he stilled, his eyes blazing. "Tara told me... You're right. The pregnancy, never existed. Gemma didn't attack her... But she did it for the boys, Jax." He whispered. "Please. I know you love your son. My son... I know you don't want this fucking life for them." He motioned to the table. "You just killed your fucking father in cold blood! For Christssake, Jax! Let the boys have a chance at a normal life!" Jax's gaze faltered, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down rapidly. Hap relaxed and stepped forward. "Tara doesn't want to cut you out. Or me... But you need to get out of SAMCRO." He reached into his cut and pulled out his transfer papers. "These are my papers to leave SAMCRO. I'm going Nomad again. They have a small group up in North Dakota that consider themselves Nomad... I'm following Tara. I'm keeping my distance, until you make the move... You need to get out of SAMCRO... And she'll welcome you back... Please, Jax. I need you to understand." Jax stayed silent. He allowed Hap to pull him into a hug, but didn't reciprocate.
After a long moment, Jax pushed away from his lover. "Babe..." Hap breathed, his eyes concerned. Jax's gaze was hurt, but somehow eerily empty. "I know what I have to do... She wants out... I'll give her an out." He whispered. "Please don't be rash..."
"I won't..." Jax took a deep breath and walked out of the clubhouse.
When Jax returned hours later, his face was haggard, he looked like he had aged at least fifteen years. "Guys... Come to the chapel." He said softly. Everyone headed to the clubhouse, their faces confused and solemn. Jax took his position at the head of the table and grabbed his gavel. "Things are getting worse for SAMCRO, guys... This is obvious... So I'd like to propose something." He took a deep breath. "I'm taking blame for the guns... To let Tara go. And I mean go. No one follows her. No one harasses her... No one touches her. She's taking my boys... Our boys..." He touched Happy's hand. "And getting out of this life. I don't know how long I'll be away... I know that bitch wants my balls on her mantle... And to keep Tara, Hap, and this club safe, I will give them to her. I'm going to the house to sign the official papers with the Sheriff and the agent. The boys are on their way here... Watch them, and Tara will come pick them up, later..." He rose and took a deep breath. "Get straight, brothers. Please. For my sake. For SAMCRO... Get this club straight." He banged the gavel and reached over, setting it in front of Bobby, who scowled, but nodded. Jax looked over each of his brothers before walking out and standing in the brightly lit entryway.
Goodbyes are always hard, but this one was the hardest Happy had ever experienced. He stepped out of the row, giving Jax a long, hard hug. "Please... Be safe... I'll visit as much as possible." Jax nodded. "I'll try... You keep our boys safe... And Tara, do you understand me?" He whispered. Happy nodded, burying his face in Jax's neck. "I need you to come out. Alive."
"I'll try my best, brother." He pulled away slowly, locking gazes with Jax for a long minute. Jax smiled sadly and grabbed Happy's face, pulling him into a needy, loving kiss. The rest of the club surrounded them loosely, glaring at anyone that dared to look twice on the street.
Jax pulled away slowly, his eyes glassy. "I love you, Happy. Always will."
"I love you too, Jackson..." Happy forced a smile. The entire club watched Jax walk away and climb on his bike, well aware that this was the last time in a long time, if not forever, that they saw their brother, best friend, and club president again.
When Jax had disappeared from view, Happy turned and stalked into the shop. He disappeared into the chapel, shutting the door and sitting down in Jax's chair. He put his head on his arms and cried harder than he'd ever cried in his life.
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