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He's the One That I Want	By : KTT2123 Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 8526 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds nor its characters. I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
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After three long days of hiding, Reid finally goes home. He has to go to work in the morning and he still hasn’t decided what to do. He’s certain Josh is right, Derek is his forever love. Reid has tried to get over him for almost five years and his love has only strengthened. He knows that Derek will always hold his heart, whether he wants him to or not. His heart is already Morgan’s and Spencer knows that nothing he can do will ever change that. The thought of someone else in his life feels like a betrayal, as ridiculous as it sounds.
Yet, Spencer can’t make up his mind: truth or lies, risk or safety, fight or flight. And he’s just so very tired. Tired of hiding his feelings, tired of wanting someone he can never have, tired of fearing rejection, tired of being alone, and tired of always being different.
Reid wearily throws his sweater into the closet by the door. He is greeted by the constantly burning nightlights in his hallway; his fear of the dark had driven him to install the lights years ago. They allow him to walk toward his bedroom without turning any additional lights on. The genius is completely unaware of the presence there, waiting for him in the darkness.
Derek speaks out from the shadows, “Where have you been?” Reid jumps. His heart is racing from the scare. “M—Morgan, you scared the daylights out of me! Don’t do that! If I had my gun, I could have shot you!” Thankfully, his gun is safely locked away, as it always is when he is not at work. Morgan gets up off the chair he’s been sitting in for hours, where he had been waiting for Reid to come home, and advances toward him. Spencer turns the living room light on. He is blissfully unaware that Derek is stalking toward him like a fierce panther. He stands with his hand on his heart trying to calm himself. Too late, he looks up and realizes that Morgan has come close, and he is unable to dodge him. Once Derek reaches Reid, he traps him against the wall, his hands on either side of Spencer’s head, leaving the taller man completely at his mercy. Spencer’s panicked eyes meet Derek’s frustrated ones.
The two men both look terrible. The three days have taken quite a toll on both of them. Spencer has even darker circles beneath his eyes than normal and he’s incredibly pale even for him. Derek looks stressed and exhausted, his normally radiant chocolate skin is muted and lackluster. His face shows none of his usual confidence and carefree manner, just weariness, anger, pain, and desperation.
Their faces mere inches apart, Morgan growls, “No more evasions, Reid. You are going to tell me what the hell is going on! I have been searching for you for three days. Three days! I’ve tried to be patient but I am not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on!”
Reid is silent, trying to absorb the feeling of Morgan’s closeness. It might be the last time he sees his love, his last chance to be near him, and Spencer wants to remember every second of his closeness, every single feeling running through his body, even if Derek is angry. His memories will be both a blessing and a curse.
The genius can feel the other man’s warm breath caressing his face, the delicious heat coming off Derek’s body, the intoxicating, sexy masculine scent of Morgan tickling his nose. Spencer feels like his body is on fire and Derek hasn’t even touched him. His mind is screaming at him to close the distance. To feel Derek’s lips against his own, to rub his body against the other man’s. Reid’s eyes are drawn to those dark, plump lips, so close, so tempting even when hardened with anger. To fight the temptation, he closes his eyes.
Morgan is totally oblivious to the torment Reid is experiencing, the pleasure and pain he is feeling with their bodies almost touching. “Open your eyes and look at me!” he yells, in the same tone he uses to provoke suspects into reacting. Reid’s eyes pop open and he gazes into Morgan’s eyes. He feels as if he is being hypnotized, as if those coffee-colored eyes are boring into his heart, his very soul. “Tell me what is going on.” Reid slowly shakes his head. “I am not leaving without some answers. You’re thinking of leaving the team…” *Leaving me!* Derek’s heart cries. “And I want to know why. Pretty Boy, let me help you,” he pleads softly.
Sadly, Reid responses “You can’t help me, Morgan. Telling you will only make things worse.” He cannot find an ounce of optimism within himself to believe that revealing his secret will be anything but a disaster.
Derek is so confused by the other man’s clear misery. He cannot understand how knowing what is going on with Reid could possibly make things any worse than they already are. Morgan silently wishes that his profiling skills worked better on the genius. As the years passed it seems he has lost the ability to read the other man. Spencer is no longer an open book to him. Somehow Reid has gotten good at hiding things from him. Derek is unaware that he learned to deceive him out of necessity, out of desperation and fear. “You don’t know that!” the older profiler insists.
“Yes, I do. You don’t know how much I do. I have had days to think about this, and the weeks and months prior. I have done nothing else over the last damn year but analyze out how you’d react! I know,” Spencer vows sorrowfully, his voice heartbreakingly certain.
Morgan, angry at his own helplessness, slams Reid into the wall. Aggressively crowding the younger man, he shouts “Reid, you are going to fucking tell me what is going on!” His patience has reached its end, he needs to know.
The lanky man, not even frightened by the show of violence, finally snaps. The secret can no longer be contained. He defiantly yells back, “I’m in love with you! There, you happy?!” Spencer is unable to hold it in anymore, doesn’t want to. Maybe he’s unconsciously taking a chance that Morgan could feel the same…influenced by JJ’s and Josh’s words, or maybe he simply can’t keep it inside anymore, he doesn’t know. All Spencer knows is that he has kept it secret for too long. It has been slowly killing him to keep it inside, crushing him under the weight of it. Derek knows now and suddenly all the fight in Spencer is lost.
The muscular man backs away, visibly staggered. That is the last thing he expected to hear, that his best friend, Reid! for god’s sake, is in love with him! The genius, taking advantage of the other man’s astonishment, grabs his phone off the coffee table and flees. Derek is frozen by what Reid has just screamed at him. It’s a full minute later before he can shake off the shock. Looking around, Morgan sees that Reid has vanished. *Oh my God! I have to find him!*
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He's the One That I Want