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The Secret of the Doctor	By : Isaac_Asimone Category: 1 through F > Doctor Who Views: 5101 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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[The Doctor finally confessed his secret: He must be sodomized to become immortal, and London, having the highest density of gay men in the universe, is his best chance. Realizing they'd left behind Rory on Kiki Alpha, our heroes traveled back to the planet only to find it destroyed.]

Amy stood motionless, staring, horrified, at what was once Kiki Alpha. There was a constant stream of tears rolling down her cheeks, now covered in dripping eye-liner.

"Come on Amy." whispered the Doctor. He was standing behind her, holding her shoulders, trying to get her to walk back inside the Tardis.

"Rory is dead." she muttered. "Rory is dead and the last time I spoke to him, I was arguing with him. For nothing." She followed the Doctor, stepping slowly, clearly in shock. He closed the exit.

"Doctor? How is this possible?" she asked. She was red-eyed. Her voice had lost its musical character. It had almost become a toneless hush.

"Ah these things happen. It's fate. If we all interacted with our loved ones assuming they'd die in the next hour, it'd become unbearable very quickly."

"No, I mean..." she said, pointing at the door behind her, "We were on the planet not even 15 minutes ago and it was fine. We go back and it's been blown to pieces. How is it possible?"

The Doctor looked at his watch and said "That's because we're two years late."

"Two years!" Amy reacted. "Rory saw all of it. We abandoned him, on an alien planet. He spent the last days of his life alone and died a horrible death. Only because we had an argument about shopping. He hated shopping!" She burst into tears.

"Wait! Amy! There might be a way!" exclaimed the Doctor.

She instantly stopped crying and jumped. "To save him? Really?" She had found her voice back.

"Yes! There is a safety device on the Tardis. It does a backup of anyone who leaves the ship through the front door. It stores it in there somewhere." He gestured towards the console. "Restores the original cell for cell, molecule for molecule. I've never used it before but it's worth a try."

"Oh please Doctor I beg you! Bring Rory back! Now!" she screamed excitedly.

"I will. But first, you need to..." he pointed at her face, drawing a circle with his fingertip, "... you probably need to redo your makeup. Otherwise he's going to wonder what's happened to you."

Amy looked like one of those women who had had a rough night out in Newcastle town center.

"Right, good point. I'm also going to get changed, he didn't like the mini-skirt." she suggested.

"No! Stay as you are, the way you were when he last saw you. Best keep the confusion to a minimum." the Doctor advised.

"Understood, Doctor. Just give me five minutes." She left the console room hurriedly.

The Doctor walked to the front door, locked it, then went back to the main console where he kick-started one of the many computers found on-board. He keyed in a few lines of code, which brought up a list of names and dates, printed in green characters on a black background, onto the screen in front of him. He scrolled up with the arrow key, browsing through the list. He pressed "Return", and a pixelated image of Rory's face popped-up. "Aha, found you." he whispered, with a grin on his face.

He heard the familiar clunking of Amy's stilettos behind him. She said: "What do you think? Better?"

He turned round like a performing flamenco dancer and looked at her. Apart from her slightly reddish eyes, there was no evidence left of her crying. "Much better, darling! Perfect!" he judged.

"Thank you Doctor. Say, before you bring Rory back, I have a question for you." she said, vaguely embarrassed.

"Another question, Pond? Too many questions!" he replied, playfully.

"I was thinking, while I was doing my makeup. If you can create a copy of anyone walking through this door, why didn't you make a clone of yourself so, you know, the new you would... Do the thing you need done? To you?"

"I didn't because restoring a copy destroys the original. Now, are you ready?" he asked, his finger hovering the keyboard.

"Yes!" Amy shouted. She was smiling again.

"Here we go!" He pressed a single key with great vigor. Amy heard a faint wheezing noise, then saw a flash of light appearing near the main exit door. To her amazement, Rory materialized in less than a microsecond, just where the flash was, still in his baby blue pajamas, busy walking to the door. He attempted to open it, turning the knob twice, and failed. He banged once, with the palm of his hand, then thrice, and shouted "Guys! You've locked me in!" He tried the knob once more. At which point the Doctor yelled "Surprise!"

Rory swiftly turned back, got into a defensive stance and shouted "Guys! What the fuck!"

The Doctor laughed and said "You didn't expect us here did you?"

Rory was shaken. He quickly glanced at his wife and the Doctor and replied: "Of course not! I saw the pair of you walking through this door just a minute ago. What is going on?"

Amy couldn't figure out where the Doctor was going. He noticed her confusion, and carried on. "Ah, we just wanted to prank you, for a laugh. You just got out of bed so it was a piece of cake. Just some special effects. Nothing fancy. You didn't think we'd leave you behind like this, did you?" The Doctor quickly nodded at Amy. She got it, nodded back and followed up.

"Darling, I know you hate shopping. Can you imagine us, on a planet-sized shopping center? You would have died!" She let out a fake laugh, then tip-toed towards Rory, wrapped her arms around his neck and proceeded to cover his face with light, joyful kisses.

Upset by the trick he thought had been played on him, Rory remained unfazed. Rather than returning his wife's kisses, he just said "I need to pee."

"Of course my love, off you pop." She released him.

Rory walked away, looking at his wife for a moment. In any other occasion she would have complained about his lack of affection. Maybe she felt guilty about the prank she and the Doctor had set up, he thought. Was the argument they had before he walked in the console room part of it? He knew something was off but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He was still half-asleep and was dying for a piss. "Doctor, where's the bathroom?" he asked.

The Doctor pointed at a side exit and replied: "Through this corridor, second on the left."

Rory scuttled away. Once he was out of sight, Amy beamed at the Doctor and shook both her fists as a sign of victory. She was ready to hug him but the Doctor kept her at arm's length while putting his index finger up across his lips. Amy got the message. She stood still and remained silent.

Rory had negligently left the bathroom door open. Amy and the Doctor could hear him urinating. They both looked at each other. Amy rolled her eyes, the Doctor quickly raised his eyebrows acknowledging her embarrassment. Rory kept going for what felt like an eternity, sighing contently every now and then. Eventually the golden stream died out. He let out a high pitched fart then flushed the toilet.

He reappeared, after omitting to wash his hands, looking relaxed. He scratched his left buttock as he walked through the main console room and said "I'm going to get changed if that's all right."

"Sure my love." said Amy. As Rory walked past her, he stopped dead in his tracks, stared at her, pointed at her eyes and asked: "Have you been crying?"

Rather than denying it, she looked down, admitting that she did without having to say a word.

Rory held her chin, gently pushing it up, and whispered "You have been crying, haven't you." It was a rhetorical question.

"Was it because of the argument you had earlier with the Doctor? You weren't arguing about where we should go, since we actually never went anywhere." Rory was thinking out loud. He could feel his frustration mounting. "Is anyone on this bloody ship going to tell me the truth, because I'm getting tired of being lied to!"

Amy looked at him. Her eyes were wet. "Rory, The Doctor has very bad news." she said.

Rory turned to the Doctor, expecting him to share the news. "I'm going to die." the Doctor said, matter-of-factly.

- Really? You're going to die and all you can think of is pulling a prank on me?

- I wanted to cheer Amy up.

- Oh. Of course. Sorry. How long have you got to live?

- I don't know, one month, one year maybe, one minute, potentially...

- So why are we standing here, doing nothing? Why don't we travel to the 60th century and find a hospital?

- A hospital won't help darling, that's not what he needs. Doctor, do you think Rory could save you?"

The Doctor sized Rory up, his groin area in particular, and declared: "Maybe. It might work." He rubbed his chin.

"Guys, hold on, I'm just a nurse, I've never performed surgery in my life!" warned Rory.

"Again, darling, the Doctor doesn't need surgery." Amy insisted.

"What does he need, then?" finally asked Rory.

Amy leaned over to him, and whispered a few words into his ears. She stood back and bit her lips.

Rory frowned. He pointed to his ear and said: "Sorry, can you repeat this please? I don't think I heard correctly."

Amy leaned over again, whispered the same words as clearly as she could, and stood back, expecting the worst.

Rory looked dejected. "Guys? Is this another one of your pranks? 'Cause it's not funny." Amy and the Doctor shook their head.

"Right. So what is it then? Is this some alternate time-line where everyone's gone fucking bonkers?" Again, they both shook their head.

"You would deny it anyway." Rory argued. He turned to Amy. "Amy, look at me. Are you seriously asking me to fuck a 700 year old alien up the arse?"

"Oh please Rory, don't say it that way!" she pleaded.

"Well, there's no other way to put it, so to speak, right? Anyway, this is really weird. My wife asking me to have sex with another man. I don't believe this. I've lived the weirdest experiences, witnessed the strangest of events, I've been a robot for 2,000 years, so I know weird, and I've got to say, this is the weirdest fucking moment of my life."

"Please Rory, don't be mad!" Amy begged.

"Don't be mad? What if I asked you to have sex with a 700 year old giant yellow octopus from the planet Weetabix? What would you do? I tell you what you'd do, you'd chop my fucking balls off, there and then. That's what you'd do." Rory hypothesized.

Before Amy could counter his theory, the Doctor exhaled as if he was short of breath. He was in pain, clenching his teeth together. He held his hand onto both of his hearts and slowly collapsed, holding on to the main console.

"Doctor!" screamed Amy. She rushed to him, knelt down beside him, propped his head on her lap and caressed his large forehead.

"I'm okay Amy. Just a false alarm. Already feeling better." he assured her, unsuccessfully it appeared, as Amy was crying again.

He slowly pulled himself up, skillfully blew his fringe back into place, adjusted his lapels and declaimed: "There, just as new!" He was still very pale. Amy hugged him and rubbed his back.

"Listen Doctor. I know how important you are to Amy, and I'd love to save your life but... I know I can't do it. Not this way. I mean, no disrespect, you're a fine looking young man, but I prefer women."

"Rory, what if I fluffed you up a bit beforehand?" offered Amy.

"That wouldn't work, I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long enough." said Rory.

"Oh, so you really are heterosexual?" the Doctor asked Rory.

"Of course I am, what made you think I wasn't?" retorted Rory.

"Not to worry! Not to worry. I've got a little gizmo somewhere, it's exactly what we need." said the Doctor, before taking the steps that led to the lower floor.
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The Secret of the Doctor