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Chasing a Butterfly	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 2592 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
- 50
- 51
- 52
I had planned on Chapter 51 being the grande finale of this story. However, after some thought, I have decided to break it up into a chapter and an epilogue, both of which I have posted today. I think you will understand why when you read the closing few paragraphs of my tale. I am looking to convey a strong, heartfelt emotion, and I think it works better as a standalone piece. At least I hope so.
When I started writing, “Chasing a Butterfly” I never envisioned that it would span 52 chapters. To be honest, I only ever had the first few chapters worked out in my head, (which is usually the case) and then I just let the story write itself. I know the introduction of Mosco as a love interest of Tom’s was not to everyone’s liking, but when I started developing his character, I kind of fell in love with him and I wanted to give him a larger role. His death was tragic, but necessary, in my opinion, but I still miss him.
For those of you who have read this story in its entirety, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is a big investment of time to commit to reading something so long, and I really do appreciate it. It has taken me seven months to write this story, which I guess is a big investment in my time too, but for me, it is a labour of love. I adore this couple and writing their stories gives me immense pleasure coupled with a touch of satisfaction.
If you wish to receive notifications when I write or update stories, or, if you would just like to chat, feel free to email me at openpage66@gmail.com
Big hugs to vidalhbea. Your words of encouragement have kept me focused and made me try harder. Thank you, girlfriend, without you, I might have given up a long time ago. xx
So once again, thank you all for your comments and rates, I am going to take a small break before starting my next story, but I hope to see you all again very soon.
One last thing before I go. For those of you who doubted that the sexual position Tom and Dennis engaged in during chapter 50 is possible, trust me, it is. I researched it ;)
In Peace,

OpenPage xx

Thursday September 17th 1992 (8.16 p.m.)
Relieved, but still somewhat emotionally unsettled after his meeting with Harry, Tom unlocked the door of his and Booker’s apartment and walked inside. From his seat on the couch, Dennis turned his head and smiled lovingly. “How'd it go?”
Tom closed the door and walking into the kitchen, he tossed his keys onto the counter. “Good,” he replied quietly, and taking a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator, he popped the top and took a long, satisfying swig.
Booker picked up the TV remote and muted the sound. “Meaning?” he queried with a suppressed sigh. Sometimes getting the facts out of Tom was as painful as pulling teeth, and he knew he would not get the full story unless he pushed. His lover was still a fiercely private person, and he rarely felt the need to volunteer information. It was a frustrating part of their relationship, but Dennis was beginning to accept that it was just another one of Tom’s quirks, and he was slowly learning to live with it.
Finishing his beer in several long gulps, Tom threw the empty bottle in the trash and grabbed another. “Harry and I talked, and we’ve agreed to put the past behind us and move forward.”
Although it took all his willpower to refrain from throttling the information out of Tom, Booker remained outwardly calm. “As friends?” he probed stubbornly.
A small smile twitched the corners of Tom’s mouth, but it vanished from his lips within seconds. “Yeah, as friends.”
It was the news Booker had tentatively been hoping for when his lover had advised him that he was going to try to make things right with Harry. However, as he studied Tom’s face, he knew there was something else playing on his mind and standing up, he approached him and tenderly brushed a stray strand of hair from his eyes. “So, why the glum face?” he asked softly.
Tom clenched his jaw and putting down his beer, he gazed unwaveringly at Booker. “Are you in contact with Judy?”
Booker’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What? NO! Why the hell would you ask me that?”
With a shrug of his shoulders, Tom stared dolefully at the worn linoleum flooring. “I dunno. Harry told me he’s still in touch with her, and I guess I started to wonder if you were too.”
Confusion clouded Booker’s dark eyes, and he shook his head slowly back and forth in disbelief. “Do you really think I would keep that from you?” he demanded in a high, incredulous voice. “Jesus, Tommy! When are you going to trust me?”
Shame reddened Tom’s face, and he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Sorry,” he mumbled into his chest. “I s’pose it was wrong of me to assume, but—”
“You’re damn right it was,” Booker shot back crossly, his eyes blazing with anger. “I don’t get it, Tom. Just when I think everything’s okay between us, you accuse me of sneaking around behind your back! What the hell is wrong with you?”
A few months before, Booker’s outburst would have brought tears to Tom’s eyes, but he suddenly found an inner strength he did not realize he possessed. Through Doctor Li’s therapy, he was becoming both emotionally and mentally stronger, and lifting his gaze, he calmly attempted to make Booker understand his inner turmoil. “I don’t know. I think seeing the photo of Judy unnerved me. Things have changed for the better since I started seeing Doctor Li, but it’s only been in the last few weeks that I’ve realized how much I miss having Harry and Judy as friends. Reconciling with Harry was easy, he’s your best friend and we’ve talked on and off over the last few years. But Judy? I haven’t seen her since the day after I...”
His voice petered out to a whisper and his eyes filled with anguish as he bravely swallowed his pain. “Since I shot Doug,” he finished quietly.
Booker’s expression softened and his eyes mirrored Tom’s pain. He regretted losing his temper and wrapping his arms around Tom, he held him in a tight embrace. “Do you want to see her?” he asked softly.
Tilting up his chin, Tom gazed into Booker’s concerned face. “Harry thinks I should.”
“Forget what Harry thinks,” Booker replied in a serious tone. “What do you want to do?”
Tom’s shoulders sagged, and he leaned against the protective warmth of Booker’s body and sighed heavily. “I need closure,” he murmured. “Otherwise, I’ll never have peace.”
With a tender smile, Booker kissed the top of Tom’s head. “Then I think you know what you have to do.”
**
Friday September 18th 1992 (11.39 a.m.)
By pure coincidence and good fortune, Judy’s birthday was the day after Harry’s, giving Tom the perfect excuse (or so he told himself) to visit her after three and a half years of separation. He carried a single red rose in his hand, a simple gift that was all he could afford without asking Booker for money, and he loathed asking Booker for money. It had taken a long time, but he was slowly finding his independence, and he refused to take advantage of the man he loved. He knew it would take many more months of therapy before he had the confidence to re-enter the workforce, but he planned to pull his weight financially as soon as he could. While it was still a long way in the future, he hoped that one day, he could become a youth counselor. It was his dream to help those addicted to drugs, find a new path in life, and he hoped his stint in prison would not hinder his ambition. He honestly believed he had a role to play in helping those who had lost their way. It was his destiny and if he could prevent one other person from ruining their life the way he had ruined his, then the last three years would have been worth all the pain. Although his transformation had been painfully slow, he finally felt he had a purpose in a world full of uncertainty. He had a clear vision for the future, but most importantly, he was slowly but surely, finding Tom Hanson.
Therefore, as he stood outside Judy’s apartment, he made a silent vow to himself. If his former friend spurned his overtures to repair their shattered relationship, he would accept it and move forward. He had come too far, and he would not allow a rejection of friendship to set him back. Dennis was the most important person in his life and he was determined to become the strong, self-reliant man he had been before Amy’s death.
It was what his lover deserved.
Without allowing himself any further time for self-reflection, he took in a deep, calming breath and rapped his knuckles on the door. A minute passed and with no sound of activity coming from within the apartment, his nervous disposition quickly turned into one of disappointment. With a heavy sigh, he turned to walk away when Judy’s flustered voice sounded from behind the door. “I’m coming… I’m coming.”
He turned back around just as the door flung open, revealing Judy’s harried face. Their eyes locked and for a second, time stood still. His former friend looked as beautiful as he remembered, her dark, curly hair flatteringly framing her elfin face. He knew he needed to speak, but seeing her again brought back a flood of memories and hot tears misted his eyes, leaving him mute. It was at that precise moment, as he stared into Judy’s startled eyes that he realized the love he held in his heart for her had never died. All he had managed to do was bury the emotion in a deep, dark corner of his soul because not having her in his life was too damn painful. After Doug’s death, he had successfully escaped his life, leaving behind him a trail of devastation and broken hearts. But staring his past in the face brought all his emotions to the fore and he realized how much he had given up when he made the decision to numb his pain with drugs rather than face his mistakes like a man. He had walked away from the most important people in his life, and he knew in his heart that he would mourn the lost years of friendship forever.
It was a harsh but valuable lesson; there were some mistakes you could never take back, no matter how much you wanted to.
His grip tightened around the delicate rose in his hand, and he struggled to contain his emotions. Once again, he attempted to speak, but this time, Judy beat him to the punch. “H-Hanson?”
Tom smiled shyly and held out the rose with a shaky hand. “Hey, Jude. Happy birthday.”
Judy’s hand remained on the doorknob while the other hovered over her parted lips. She continued to gape open-mouthed at the ghost from her past, her eyes wide with disbelief. Standing before her was the corporeal representation of all the pain and misery she had suffered over the last three and a half years, and raw emotion bubbled inside her. Over time, she had learned to deal with the heartache of losing Doug, but seeing Tom brought all the pain to the surface and planting a hand on her hip in a stance that screamed attitude, she glared at her former friend with cold, unblinking eyes. “What are you doing here?”
Embarrassed by her reaction, Tom slowly lowered his hand. “I-I w-wanted to s-see you,” he stammered softly, his face flushing a deep crimson. “I-I—”
“You what?” Judy snapped. “You thought you could bring me a rose and everything would be okay? Jesus, Hanson, even you couldn’t be that emotionally retarded.”
Pain seared at Tom’s heart and dropping his gaze to the floor, he struggled to control his tears. “I guess I am.”
When Judy did not answer, he bent down and laid the rose on the floor, just inches from her feet. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled and straightening up, he gave her a sad smile before turning away and slowly walking towards the elevator.
When Judy noticed Tom’s shuffling gait, her brow knitted into a deep frown and stepping into the corridor, she picked up the flower and called out to him in a high-pitched voice. “What happened to you?”
Tom paused before turning around, a self-conscious smile twitching his lips. “Didn’t Harry tell you?” he asked softly.
Judy slowly shook her head from side to side, her gaze focusing on Tom’s trembling hand. “We… ah… We don’t talk about you.”
Pain flashed in Tom’s eyes, but he remained composed. “No, of course you don’t. Why would you?” he muttered to himself. Before Judy could speak again, he limped back to her apartment and taking a deep breath, he looked her directly in the eye and spoke in a flat voice. “I was set up by the man I loved, and when I left prison, I was beaten and raped. I have nerve damage and a brain injury. I sometimes forget things, like certain words, but hey, it could be worse; I could be dead, right?”
“Oh, Tom,” Judy whispered, her large, dark eyes filling with tears. “I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t know.”
“I don’t want your pity,” Tom replied quietly, his lower lip pushing into a resolute pout. “I came here because I want you to know that I understand why you hate me. I did a terrible thing, and I tried to cover it up. But I also want you to understand, I was messed up… really, really messed up. I know that’s not an excuse, but… Jesus, Jude, Amy died in my arms, and I shut down. I felt nothing, no pain, no remorse, just emptiness inside because I didn’t love her enough to mourn her death. It fucked me up, and I started drinking and then… The drugs were so easy to get, and when I was high, I finally felt like me again, I was happy! It was a stupid, reckless mistake, and I’ll never forgive myself for what I did. I killed Doug because I screwed up, and I finally have the balls to admit it. It was my fault, and I have to live with the guilt of killing my best friend every day for the rest of my fucking life.”
He paused to draw breath and when he spoke again, his barely audible voice trembled with emotion. “Don’t you think that’s punishment enough?”
The tears glistening in Judy’s eyes flowed free and stumbling forward, she threw her arms around Tom and pulled him into a loving embrace. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed against the warm exposed flesh of his neck. “Oh, Tommy! I’m so, so sorry.”
Moved by Judy’s unbridled display of emotion, Tom hugged her tight and blinked back his own tears. It was a magical moment, and the pain he carried inside lessened with each passing moment. Love and forgiveness had restored another missing piece of his soul, and he knew in time, he would once again be complete.
When Judy finally disengaged from Tom’s arms, she wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffing loudly, she punched him playfully in the arm. “So is it true? Are you and Booker really a couple?”
With his cheeks flushing red, Tom smiled a shy smile. “Yeah, we are.”
Judy’s red-rimmed eyes sparkled with happiness. “I’m glad.”
Tom’s shy smile transformed into a broad grin. “Yeah, me too.”
- 50
- 51
- 52
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Chasing a Butterfly