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Safe Haven in the Chaos	By : IdrilsSecret Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 6517 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead or any of the characters. No money is being made from the writing of these stories

Chapter List
- 51
- 52
- 53
Chapter 52 Back to the Hilltop

Daryl had just finished fixing the roof. He nailed in the last tile and sat back on his heels. He kept thinking about his earlier exchange with Aaron. He felt stupid for the way he handled it, but he was caught off guard. He’d woken up with Aaron behind him, rubbed up against him with a hard on. He knew Aaron wouldn’t try anything, but the man had been dreaming. Any other time, Daryl would have rolled over and encouraged Aaron out of his sleep for a morning quickie, but his mind wasn’t right ever since escaping the Sanctuary. Brady had seen to it that Daryl couldn’t think of Aaron in that way without visions of those events invading his brain. How the hell was he ever going to get past this? He thought their time in the shower and later in the bed meant he was over it, but that wasn’t meant to be. Even then, his thoughts drifted back to the cell and Brady forcing him to say Aaron’s name as he was raped. Daryl just couldn’t separate the two. He couldn’t make love to Aaron without seeing Brady, or hearing his voice. “I’m fucking ruined,” Daryl whispered to himself. “But I don’t want to lose Aaron.” And lose him he certainly would if he didn’t try to figure something out. He needed help, more help than Aaron could give him.

He’d been on the roof long enough. Aaron would start to wonder about him, so he made his way back to the ladder and climbed down. He stopped at the door that led in from the garage, pausing to get his thoughts together. Aaron would want to talk about what happened. He’d stumble over apology after apology. Daryl would tell him it was all right. The silence would creep back in between them. It couldn’t keep going like this. Maybe they needed time apart until Daryl could deal with it. Aaron wasn’t just a distraction. He was a reminder too. That’s what Aaron wouldn’t understand. He would try to convince Daryl that it was his demons, but it was more than that, and it was very disturbing. He just needed time, but would Aaron be willing to give him enough?

Daryl grabbed the door handle and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He turned the nob and stuck his head in, about to enter when he heard voices. “Holy shit,” he whispered. Someone was here. His heart almost stopped as he listened.

>>------->

“Where’s Daryl?” asked one of the two men, Saviors from the Sanctuary out doing Negan’s bidding.

Aaron glared at the man a moment, and then he looked at Caleb. “Get behind me,” Aaron whispered.

“Nope, son, stay right where you are, and take your friends weapons while you’re at it. Don’t try anything or my buddy, Cole, here will shoot,” said the man known as Mac.

Caleb watched the man and then turned to Aaron. He waited for permission, and Aaron gave a single nod, handing over his gun as the boy took the knife from his belt. When he had the weapons, he stepped back and faced Mac.

“Throw them down and back away,” said Mac. Caleb did as he was told. Mac turned back to Aaron. “As you know, we’re trying to locate your pal, Daryl. The boy here thought he might be out this way.” Max looked around at the cabin. “Nice place you got here. Never would have found it if it wasn’t for the boy. Had a hell of a time finding it, though. Almost took the kids ears off because I thought he was sending me on a wild goose chase.”

“Caleb’s only been here once. This is my home, and I don’t like visitors.” Aaron was trying to hide any information about this being a getaway or the fact that he was from Alexandria. He wasn’t sure how much Caleb was forced to tell them.

“Yeah, whatever. Now, call your boyfriend out here before things get messy.”

So, they knew about him and Daryl. They knew a lot more than Aaron wished they’d known. Caleb was at his side and brushed his arm.

“I’m sorry. They made me tell them what I knew,” Caleb said with regret.

“It’s all right. I’m just glad you’re not hurt,” Aaron replied.

“Not yet he isn’t, but unless you bring Daryl out here, he won’t be fine for long,” said Cole speaking for the first time.

“I hate to disappoint you, but Daryl’s not here,” Aaron informed the men. “That’s why I’m out here. I was looking for him. I thought he might turn up here, but I haven’t seen him.”

“I’m not buying it,” Mac replied. “The kid said you two were tight, and if anyone knew where that prick was it’d be you. Negan wants his man back, and he ain’t giving up until he has him.”

Aaron silently prayed that Daryl was still on the roof, and that he heard the men down here talking. He took a deep breath and gestured to the inside of the cabin. “Come in and take a look.” As far as he knew, no one had ever made that kind of offer to the Saviors. They usually came in without offer.

Mac looked skeptical, but Cole made the final decision and walked inside, pushing Aaron out of the way as he went. Mac started to pass, but he stopped in front of Aaron, and spoke softly. “If I find him, if I find any evidence that he’s been here, I will gut that kid right in front of you, and then I’m going to split you up the front.” Upon making his threats, Mac pulled a huge hunting knife from his belt, the kind he’d seen Daryl use to gut and clean a deer. He stared Aaron in the eyes and then went on his way, telling Aaron and Caleb to stay where they could see them.

Aaron pulled Caleb next to him on the front porch. He watched the two men begin ransacking the house as they looked for signs of Daryl. Aaron only hoped there were none. Since they weren’t spending much time in each other’s company, he didn’t think there’d be much to go on. When the men were far enough from the door, Aaron whispered to Caleb.

“What happened? How’d these guys capture you?” he asked.

“Without you and Daryl around, I started going out hunting for food. Daryl taught me how to hunt and track, so I took it upon myself to do it. I went pretty far from home. These guys were out in the woods and caught me. I think Negan sent them to scout around the outskirts of town. They threatened me. There was nothing I could do. I’m sorry, Aaron. You know I’d never tell anyone about this place.” Caleb was full of guilt and regret.

“It’s okay, really. I’m just glad they didn’t hurt you,” Aaron said, thankful.

“I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to find the cabin, and they’d kill me anyway. I tried my best to remember landmarks from the last time I was here. They were about to give up when I heard something. Sounded like hammering. It stopped shortly afterwards. I don’t think they heard it. Was that you?” Caleb asked.

Aaron decided it was best not to tell Caleb that Daryl was here so these thugs wouldn’t torture him for more information. He nodded after a brief pause. “Yeah, it was me. I was fixing the roof. Tree branch tore up some of the roofing tiles.”

“So Daryl’s really gone then?”

“I haven’t seen him since he escaped,” Aaron said. “He was at Hilltop when me, Rick and a few others arrived. He split before we left.”

“And you came here?” Caleb inquired.

“I thought he might show up, and I wanted to be there for him. He went through some really rough shit at the Sanctuary. He’s not himself.” That last part was the complete truth.

“What do you think these guys are going to do?” Caleb asked with worry.

“I don’t know,” Aaron whispered. He turned his attention to the inside of the house, listening for any signs that they found Daryl.

>>------->

Daryl could see his crossbow leaning against the wall across from the garage door. He desperately wanted to run over and grab it. He was about to make his move when he saw a man coming towards him. Daryl carefully closed the door and slinked back into the garage. He found an old canvas tarp and covered himself just as the door started to open. Then it paused.

“Woah,” cried Mac. “What do we have here? Is this a crossbow?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s mine. I … uh … I have it here so I can go out hunting,” Aaron answered. He must have been close, Daryl thought.

“Hmm,” Mac said skeptical of Aaron’s answer. “You sure you’re a hunter?”

“I gotta eat, don’t I?” Aaron replied.

“True, true,” Mac said nodding. “I also happen to know Daryl is quite the marksman. Dwight knows firsthand about him. And, of course, he’s got the bow. You know … THE bow. Hangs on to that fucker like it’s his dick.” Mac stopped to laugh at his own statement. “Any who, I’ll be taking that, and any other weapons you have here.”

“You’ve got all my weapons,” Aaron seethed.

“Good,” Mac smiled. “Now you can show me to any other goods you happen to have stored away. Let’s start with the kitchen.” He gestured with the gun he was holding and waited for Aaron to lead the way when Cole came out of the spare bedroom.

“Hey, Mac. I think I got something here,” Cole said. He looked serious and glared at Aaron from across the room before going back into the bedroom.

“Come on,” Mac said to Aaron. “You too,” he gestured to Caleb, who was still standing by the front door while Aaron went in to keep an eye on the two men.

Aaron walked into the bedroom and quickly scanned the area. It didn’t look like there was anything here that would suggest Daryl was here too. The bed was unmade. His clothes from yesterday were in a pile in the corner. Daryl had slept in the same clothes for the past couple days. Cole came from around the other side of the bed where he’d been on his knees. “Found this under the bed.” He held small a knife in his hand.

“I thought you said there weren’t any more weapons,” Mac said angrily.

“I … I guess I forgot about that one,” Aaron stammered. In actuality, he didn’t know where that knife came from. He’d never seen it before.

Cole approached Mac. “Look at it closer.”

Mac took the knife and examined it. “This came from the Sanctuary. This is one of ours. A kid named Joey always carried it around with him.” Mac paused and got in Aaron’s face. “He’s dead now, and guess who killed him?”

“This means he’s here,” Cole said, grabbing Caleb in a choke hold.

Aaron lunged towards them, but Mac grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. “You’re gonna tell us what the fuck is going on here. Where is Daryl?”

“I told you, I don’t know,” Aaron pleaded. It felt like Mac was going to rip his arm from his shoulder. Unable to stand any longer, he was forced onto his knees. He could hear Caleb making choking noises. “Please, don’t hurt the boy. He has nothing to do with any of this.”

“Trust me, he’s going to be the first one to get hurt unless you tell me where that dirt bag prick is at,” Mac said between clenched teeth.

Aaron didn’t say anything. He was searching his mind for some kind of a way out of this. Then he felt the coldness of metal against his temple as Mac held the gun to his head. “I … I-I sw-swear I don’t know,” Aaron said, keeping to his original story.

Mac nodded and sucked air through his nose. “All right. You leave me no choice.” He looked at his partner, Cole. “Cut the kid’s ear off.”

Cole reached for his belt and came up with his knife. Caleb started struggling, but Cole’s arm tightened around his neck. Aaron watched Caleb’s eyes start to roll up into his head and his face turn a very deep shade of red. “Hold still boy, or it won’t be a pretty cut.” He brought the knife to Caleb’s ear and started to slice. A trickle of dark red blood trailed down Caleb’s neck. He started to scream, but it was muffled from lack of oxygen as he was being strangled.

“Hey! Assholes!” someone called from the doorway of the bedroom. It was Daryl.

The two men were caught off guard, shocked to see Daryl. Cole released his hold on Caleb. Mac turned the gun from Aaron and aimed it at Daryl. He got a shot off, but Daryl was quicker, disappearing around the corner before the bullet could hit him. Aaron wondered what was happening just as he saw a glint of silver fly through the bedroom. He looked just in time to see Daryl’s hunting knife protruding from Cole’s head. He dropped to the floor in a heap. Caleb backed away.

Mac saw what happened and pointed the gun at Aaron’s head again. “You fucking prick! You killed him. Now I’m going to kill your man.”

Aaron clenched his eyes shut and waited for the sound of the gun firing a bullet into his head. Before he knew what was happening, Mac cried out, lowering the gun. He released Aaron and turned around behind him. Caleb stood, clenching his throat as he tried to get more air into his lungs. In his hand was Daryl’s hunting knife. He had sliced Mac’s arm in an attempt to attack him. Unfortunately, it only made the man angrier.

“You little shit!” Mac yelled as he brought his gun up and aimed it at Caleb.

That’s when Aaron saw Daryl’s crossbow slung over Mac’s back. Aaron lunged toward him and grabbed it, pulling both of them to the ground. In the scuffle, Aaron grabbed for the gun, but Mac saw his intentions first. They each wrestled for control, but Mac was winning. The barrel of the gun came up and a shot fired.

“Son of a bitch!” Daryl shouted as he ran into the room.

Aaron didn’t have much time to register what was happening, when suddenly Daryl was towering over them. He lifted his arms up, and that’s when Aaron saw the crowbar. Daryl brought it down onto Mac’s head. There was a loud crack, a familiar sound that brought back horrible memories of that night in the woods with the Saviors, and Glenn and Abraham losing their lives in a similar fashion.

Daryl brought the crowbar down again, and then a third time. Aaron rolled away and saw that the gun had come loose from Mac’s hand. Instantly, he grabbed it, got to his knees and aimed it, but Mac was not moving. A pool of blood started to form, but Daryl kept going, pounding Mac’s head again and again.

Aaron was shocked by what he was seeing. Never before had Daryl behaved in such a way. “Daryl, he’s dead,” Aaron told him, but it did no good. Daryl seemed not to hear him. “Daryl!” Aaron said again, and still no reaction. He glanced over to Caleb, the kid’s eyes wide with horror. He actually backed away until his back was against the far wall. “Daryl, stop! That’s enough! He’s dead! Daryl!” Aaron shouted. He got to his feet and went to him, grabbing his arm the next time it went up. Daryl’s strength almost dragged Aaron along with the crowbar.

“Get off me!” Daryl yelled.

“You have to stop. He’s dead,” Aaron pleaded, hanging on with all his might as Daryl still tried to use the weapon against their enemy. Eventually, Daryl’s grip gave way and he let the crowbar fall to the ground at his feet. He stared down at the bloody unrecognizable mess.

“He … he tried to … to . . .” Daryl started to say as he finally looked at Aaron. His face was full of rage and hate until he began to come back to his senses. Then his sight fell to Aaron’s shoulder. “You’ve been shot.”

Aaron looked down and saw the blood. There had been so much excitement, so much happening all at once that he didn’t know he’d been shot. The realization took effect, as did the pain, but it didn’t hurt as bad as he thought it would. There was already a tear in the material, and he ripped it more so he could see what damage was done. Luckily, it was only a flesh wound, but it might need stitches.

“I’m okay,” Aaron said. “I’m okay.”

“I … I-I thought you said you didn’t know where Daryl was,” Caleb said.

Aaron turned to him. “I know I did. I was trying to protect you. And I was hoping Daryl would know what to do,” Aaron said, turning to Daryl now.

“I came in from the garage and heard voices,” Daryl said.

Aaron was glad everyone was all right, but he couldn’t forget what he saw with Daryl and the violent rage. Now wasn’t the time to talk about it. Instead, he went to Caleb and grasped his shoulders. “Are you all right?” he asked as he observed his ear. There was a thin cut, but it would heal on its own.

“I think so. Still got my ear,” Caleb returned.

“We need to get rid of these bodies,” Daryl mentioned, already thinking ahead.

“We can bury them out in the woods,” Aaron suggested.

Daryl shook his head. “No, we got to get them off the property. Someone’s gonna know their missing, and they’re gonna come looking for them. If they find them here, they’ll come after you,” he said to Aaron. “We need to clean this up too, dispose of any evidence that they were here.”

“They only found this place because of me,” Caleb reminded them. “And they didn’t have time to tell anyone where they were going.”

“See? This place is still safe,” Aaron tried to convince Daryl.

“If they got a tracker, they’ll find the cabin. It’s better that they don’t find their men here too. We just need to cover all our bases. I don’t want to take any chances.” Daryl wouldn’t accept any other idea.

“Okay, what about the car we abandoned. We could dump the bodies down there with it,” Aaron thought.

“Or the lake,” Caleb said. “Wrap them in a blanket loaded with rocks and sink them.”

“That’s a good idea,” Daryl said. “Okay, the closet down the hallway has blankets, and there’s rocks and stones all around the lake. We’ll take these two down the way. I don’t want to dump them right off the dock. Then we’ll put everything together and drop them in.”

“I’ll start cleaning this up,” Aaron said, looking at all the blood. The good thing was this room had hardwood floors, otherwise he would have been pulling up carpet. Daryl really made a mess of things when he killed Mac.

They spent the next few hours following out the plan. Caleb went with Daryl to dispose of the bodies. When they came back, they helped Aaron finish up with the cleaning. By the time they were done, they were tired and hungry. Aaron handed out the rest of the food Carol sent with them, and then they started to talk about what to do next.

“We can’t stay here any longer. This place has been compromised,” Aaron pointed out. “It’s … it doesn’t feel the same anymore.”

“Where do you suggest we go?” Daryl asked.

“I’ve given it some thought. I think we should go to Hilltop. That’s where we can be most useful,” Aaron suggested.

“And when the Saviors come to collect their shit, what then?” Daryl said, not completely convinced yet.

“There are places to hide. The Saviors came when I was there with Maggie and Sasha. Paul knows where they don’t go, and he’ll help us out.”

“What about me?” Caleb asked.

“You have to go back to Alexandria,” Daryl said, mind made up. “You said these guys didn’t tell anyone what they were doing or where they were going. No one knows they took you, so when the Saviors come back and find you missing, it could be a problem.”

“How are we going to get Caleb to Alexandria? We don’t have transportation and it’s a long way from here,” Aaron said.

“Actually, they drove us here part of the way and ditched their car. We walked the rest of the way to the cabin,” Caleb told them.

“You think you can find the car?” Daryl asked.

“I think so, but if any of the Saviors see the car, don’t you think they’ll become suspicious?” Caleb said.

“We’ll cross that bridge if and when we get to it,” Daryl told them. “We’ll get close enough to Alexandria to drop you off at a safe distance. Then me and Aaron will go to Hilltop.”

The plan was finalized. In the morning, they would head out. In the meantime, they took shifts keeping watch through the night and slept in the living room. Once morning arrived, they were on their way.

>>------->

The next day went smoothly. Aaron and Daryl dropped Caleb off, and he walked the rest of the way to Alexandria. He had a message for Rick, letting him know where Aaron and Daryl would be. Now they were close to Hilltop, and decided once again to ditch the car. The Saviors would recognize it, so they drove it as far into a copse of trees as they could, covered it with fallen limps and leaves, and started their walk to Hilltop.

Up until now, Aaron hadn’t mentioned anything about Daryl’s over the top outburst with Mac. He felt he needed to address it, but Daryl wouldn’t be happy about it. “So, what happened back there … with Mac … you know … when you killed him.”

“What. I killed him, just like you said.” Daryl seemed to want to avoid the conversation.

“You didn’t just kill him. You went beyond what needed to be done.”

“He was holding you at gunpoint, and then he shot you. How else was I supposed to react?” Daryl’s ire was obvious.

Aaron spoke softly, not wanting to cause an issue. He was just trying to figure out what had happened and why. “I understand that, but you kept going. He was dead, but you kept hitting him until … until there was nothing left.”

“I had a knife and a crowbar, and I threw my knife at the other guy. I had no other choice than to beat him to death. That’s all that happened. It’s not my fault if you’re making more out of this that it really is,” Daryl said angrily.

Aaron hesitated before asking his next question. “Was he … was Mac … did he have anything to do with what happened to you at the Sanctuary?”

Daryl’s eyes narrowed on him and he stopped walking. “What, did he rape me? Is that what you’re asking?”

“I don’t know. I’m just trying to figure out what made you do what you did,” Aaron said gently.

Daryl didn’t answer at first. He started walking again, and he didn’t wait to see if Aaron was coming or not. Aaron hurried to keep up with him and waited for an answer. Eventually, Daryl spoke. “No. He wasn’t there. I’ve never seen him before. All I know is he’s one of them, and I’ll do whatever it takes to see every last one of them dead.”

Aaron could tell there was more to the story, but Daryl wasn’t talking. He just had to hope that eventually Daryl would feel comfortable enough to tell him the entire story. At least he shared the worst parts.

>>------->

They finally made it to the Hilltop. The gates opened and Aaron and Daryl walked inside. Sasha was there to greet them. The first thing she noticed was the dried blood on Aaron’s arm. He told her what happened, how they were attacked by two Saviors and they killed them. He didn’t go into a lot of detail, and he left out the cabin and Caleb.

“That looks like it needs stitches,” she said with concern. “Come on. I’ll take you to see Dr. Carson. He can patch you up.”

Aaron smiled and nodded, and then he looked to Daryl. Daryl waved him on. “Go on. I’ll be around.”

“You’re not coming?” Aaron asked, hoping Daryl would keep him company while he got stitched up.

“Naw, I’m gonna have a look around, maybe drop in and see Maggie.” He looked at Aaron, but then he turned and walked away. Aaron felt like Daryl just wanted to get away from him.

Sasha walked with Aaron, taking him to the infirmary. “Everything all right?”

“He’s just kind of shaken up, especially being caught by the Saviors,” Aaron answered.

“Are you sure you weren’t followed? So far, the Saviors think Maggie died, and they don’t know we’re here. We need to keep it that way.”

“We killed them and hid the bodies. Looks like they were out on their own. Eventually, someone’s going to go looking for them, but I don’t think they’ll find them. There’s just nowhere else for us to go. We can’t go back to Alexandria, and Daryl doesn’t want to stay at the Kingdom. I thought we could be most helpful here, since some of the people are willing to fight. They need some training, and we can provide that for them,” Aaron explained to the best of his ability.

“It’s a good idea then,” Sasha smiled as she held the door open for Aaron. He walked inside and met Dr. Carson, who got to cleaning and stitching the wound.

While they were there, Jesus showed, hurrying into the infirmary. “I heard you and Daryl were here. What happened to you?”

“Gunshot. Just a flesh wound, but you know how everyone likes to make a bigger deal out of it than it really is.”

Paul laughed. “What about the Kingdom? I thought you were staying there for a while.”

“I thought the same thing, but … well … let’s just say a certain someone can’t stay in one place for too long.”

“I can’t say that I blame him,” Paul said. He sat down on a stool next to the bed, and watched Dr. Carson finish up the job. “Where’s Daryl now?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere around here,” Aaron said somberly. Paul caught on quickly, but he held his tongue.

Finally, Dr. Carson was finished. “There you go. Good as new,” he smiled.

“Thanks, Doc,” Aaron said. “How’s Maggie? How’s the baby?”

“Everything looks good. She just needs to continue to take it easy,” the doctor said.

“Why? Is she breaking the rules?” Aaron asked facetiously.

“I’ve come to realize she’s not the type of person who can sit still for long. She’s gained quite the following though. Everyone wants to help out. She’s been teaching some of us about gardening. Maggie’s a real asset to our community, and I’m not the only one glad she’s here.” Doctor Carson glanced at Paul and gave a slight smile.

“She’s proving to be a fine leader,” Paul added.

“I take it Gregory isn’t aware of this,” Aaron said.

“Oh, I think he is. For the first time, he’s got competition, and I think he’s realizing it slowly.” Paul stood from the stool where he sat and went to the door. “Come on, I’ll show you what all we’ve been up to.”

Aaron went with Paul, crossing the yard to an area where there were raised planters and small seedlings sprouting out of the rich dirt. “We’re going to have nice crops next spring. We’ll be a little more self-sufficient, and that’s always a good thing.”

“Let’s hope that by then all of this will stay at Hilltop instead of half going to the Saviors,” Aaron mentioned.

“So, how long are you and Daryl planning on staying?” Paul wondered.

“As long as we’re welcomed. We want to help train people to fight. I don’t know what’s happening in Alexandria, and I only hope that the Kingdom will eventually join us. I’m sure Rick’s got a plan, I just wish I knew what it was. But we need to be prepared if we’re called upon.”

Paul clapped Aaron on the shoulder. “We’re glad to have you here.” He looked around the yard as though trying to figure something out. “So listen, my trailer is pretty full with Maggie, Sasha and Enid staying there. I’d like to offer you and Daryl my room in the house, at least until better accommodations can be arranged.”

“Oh … well … I really appreciate that, but … I’d feel like I’m putting you out.” Aaron already felt slightly guilty for coming to Hilltop and adding to an already full community.

“It’s fine. Really. Since that night with the car, the music and the shufflers, I’ve been taking night duty at the gate. My shift starts after dinner and goes until dawn. The room is empty at that time anyway.”

“I don’t know . . .” Aaron hesitated.

“Please, it’s the least I can offer you.” Paul looked at him with begging blue eyes.

Finally Aaron agreed. “All right, but only for a couple nights.”

“Great,” Paul smiled. “Come on. I’ll show you what we’ve been setting up for weapon training.” He led Aaron to another part of the property.

Aaron paused first, and looked around for Daryl, but he didn’t see him anywhere. Maybe it was for the best. The tension between them lately was thick. It was good to be at the cabin, but he thought it might have been too closed in for Daryl right now. They needed to work through their latest complication, and it seemed being around Aaron was a big part of that.

The training area wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. They were using logs for target practice. It seemed knife throwing was their best quality. Guns were extremely limited. Paul explained how he came across a few while out scavenging. Ammo was the real problem. Guns weren’t any good without it. However, because of the blacksmith, they had a hefty arsenal of knives and spears.

“You need more guns,” Aaron stated, looking over the practice area.

“I was hoping Ezekiel and the Kingdom would answer the call to help fight. They have guns, some to spare also,” Paul stated. He shook his head. “Right now, this is the best we got.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Aaron assured him.

Paul grasped his shoulder. “Hey, how about a bite to eat. There’s food ready in the mess hall.”

“Great,” Aaron answered with a smile. When they entered the yard again, he looked around for Daryl, but he was still missing. Part of him wanted to skip eating and look for him, but every time he tried to have a conversation, Daryl shied away. They needed some space right now. They could talk later.

>>------->

Daryl stood to the side of Maggie’s trailer and watched as Jesus and Aaron walked to the mess hall. He couldn’t help notice how comfortable they were in each other’s company. He also noticed, with a jealous twinge, how Paul touched Aaron’s shoulder. Daryl hated feeling this way, but he couldn’t help it, especially knowing how Paul pined for Aaron. The one thing he was sure about was his confidence that Aaron would never return any kind of affection toward Paul. Aaron saw him as a friend, and to be honest, Paul had not shown anything more than that either. It didn’t help the jealous streak within Daryl’s heart, however thin that streak was. The underlying emotion was still there, but why?

He left his hiding spot and went around to the back of the house where his friends were buried. Daryl wanted to pay his respects to Glenn and Abraham. Fresh flowers laid upon each grave. The marks in the dirt showed that Maggie and Sasha came here often. That was good, he thought. That meant they were dealing with it and grieving properly. It made him think of his brother, Merle. There wasn’t time to grieve for him, and the way he died was horrible. Merle became the one thing he never wanted to become, a walker. Daryl knew his brother would rather have been buried in a frilly pink dress than to reanimate into one of the monsters. It was out of his hands, though. At least Daryl was there to end his brother once and for all, and see that he was eternally put to rest. But there was no grave, no place to visit, no time to grieve. Yes, he would have grieved for his brother, no matter their differences. He was family, and Daryl loved him. But life moved on, and here he was.

There was a different kind of love in Daryl’s heart now. Aaron filled all those empty places that he had dealt with his whole life. However, he feared what would become of them if he kept pushing him away like he’d been doing lately. It wasn’t Aaron’s fault, of course. He had been very patient, but Daryl couldn’t make him wait forever. The more he pushed Aaron away, the bigger the space that developed between them. He couldn’t help feeling that coming to Hilltop had been a relief. At least now they could get far enough away from each other to breath. He knew he shouldn’t feel this way, but being at the cabin felt like being forced to constantly face Aaron. Right now, Daryl could only handle being with him in small doses. It was awful. Daryl knew about triggers, and had dealt with them before, but he’d never had someone he cared about be the cause of his turmoil. This was exactly what Brady planned on happening when he forced Daryl to conjure up images of Aaron as well as saying his name aloud. He didn’t just want to injure Daryl physically, but mentally and internally. Well, he succeeded, and now Daryl was one big mess. How was he going to get back to where he once was with Aaron, and feel comfortable in his presence or whispering his name? How was he ever going to share an intimacy with him and not remember the cell at the Sanctuary? There had to be a way to keep Aaron and not destroy everything they worked so hard to achieve.

The first week at the Hilltop passed by without incident. Maggie, Sasha, Aaron and Daryl took those willing to fight and started teaching them techniques. First, they showed them how to take down walkers, how to use them to their advantage when there were more than one, and how to get themselves out of a difficult situation if they were overwhelmed. Some people struggled to pick up techniques, but most caught on quickly. The Alexandrians focused on individual strengths and trained them in those areas to give everyone the best chance at survival. Now that the first week of training was out of the way, it was time to begin working on fighting the living. Without guns, it would be a difficult fight with the Saviors. They just had to hope Rick had a plan too.

They were half way through the second week, and everything was going well, at least with training. Daryl and Aaron spent more time with others or off by themselves than with each other. Jesus gave up his room in the house to them, but only Aaron slept there. At first they tried, and Daryl stayed the night for the first couple of evenings, but then he started feeling claustrophobic, and he would leave to patrol the yard or the gate. Aaron talked to him once, but Daryl waved him off, made up some lame excuse and walked away from the conversation. He’d always been good at doing that.

Daryl could feel Aaron’s frustration, and if he didn’t try something soon he might lose his man for good. An idea came to him, a way that he might be able to temporarily relieve the tension and keep Aaron from giving up on him altogether.

He was walking across the yard when he saw Aaron exit the house with Jesus. They were having a conversation, smiling and laughing together. Aaron spent more time with him lately. In a way, Daryl was glad. At least he had someone to talk to, especially since Daryl wasn’t very talkative lately.

Aaron looked up and saw Daryl. His laughter died away, and he clapped a hand to Jesus’ shoulder to say something. Jesus looked in Daryl’s direction and nodded. Aaron left Jesus standing on the front steps of the house as he came across the yard toward Daryl. A hesitant wave from the Hilltop man felt more like an apology. Jesus knew how Daryl felt about him and how much he disliked his friendship with Aaron, even though Daryl was less threatening than he had been in the past.

“Hey,” Aaron said as he approached. “You weren’t at breakfast this morning.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.” Daryl had at least made the effort to eat breakfast with Aaron every day, even if he wasn’t staying with him through the night. “I, uh … I got talking with the guy on duty last night. He’s from a town that was only a couple hours from where I grew up.”

“Wow, really?” Aaron said. He was interested to hear more.

“He thought he might have known my brother, but it wasn’t him. Anyway, we got talking and reminiscing about home. Turns out he’s got a still and can score us some hooch.”

“I don’t know, Daryl. You really think it’s a good idea to be getting trashed on that stuff when were always on edge about Saviors dropping by unexpectedly?” Aaron realized he said it a little harshly and bowed his head as he sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

“I just thought it might help … loosen things up a bit. I know I’ve been a shitty boyfriend lately.”

“No, I’m the one who owes you an apology. I said I’d give you space and time to heal. It’s just … there’s been a lot of space lately.”

Daryl moved closer to Aaron until they were almost touching front to front. “I know and I wanted to try something to make it up to you.”

This gained Aaron’s attention, and he looked up and into Daryl’s eyes. “You mean you think … you think you’re ready?”

“I ain’t making no promises, but–”

Aaron interrupted him with a kiss. It was the first one they’d shared since the cabin. Daryl almost forgot how good it felt to have their lips pressing together. Aaron pushed away first. “Sorry,” he said shyly. “I know how you don’t like to draw attention.”

“So what do you say? You … me … a little hooch,” Daryl said.

“I’m in,” Aaron smiled. “I’ll straighten up the room, maybe scrounge up a few extra pillows.”

Daryl’s face fell. He hadn’t given this part of the plan much thought “That’s Jesus’ room. I don’t feel comfortable … you know … someone else’s room and all.”

“I … think I know of a place where we can get away. There’s an old watchtower on the roof, and I just happen to know the secret way up there. Very quiet. Very private. And it doesn’t belong to anyone.” Aaron reached for a strand of hair that had gotten caught in Daryl’s eyelashes. He pushed it to the side and looked deep into Daryl’s eyes. Then he let his fingers trail along his cheek before lowering it to his side. “Are you sure this time? Are you really sure?” Aaron seemed concerned with Daryl’s sudden change of mind. “Because if you aren’t, I don’t want you to–”

Daryl reached up and put his hand around the back of Aaron’s neck, drawing them both together until their foreheads rested against one another. “I promise I’m not going to back out of anything tonight.”
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Safe Haven in the Chaos