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Forever Rising Phoenix	By : ImagineLayla131 Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 7147 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NOR HAVE ANY AFFILIATIONS WITH THE WALKING DEAD FRANCHISE. ALL PROPERTIES OWNED BY FRANK DARABONT, AMC, ROBERT KIRKMAN AND TONY MOORE. NO MONEY/PROFIT IS BEING MADE OFF OF THIS FANFICTION!

Chapter List
- 52
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- 54
Hello world and my wonderful readers! This chapter is an eye opener and VERY emotional for all parties involved. I've been obsessed with that song "Say Something" by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera. To me, it really fits the Rick/Delilah/Billy love triangle. The "Heffalumps and Woozles" song always pops into my head when something bad happens! Lol. I was playing "White Flag" by Dido the whole time I was editing this chapter, it seemed very fitting.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NOR HAVE ANY AFFILIATIONS WITH THE WALKING DEAD FRANCHISE, SAY SOMETHING, OR SAY ANYTHING. ALL PROPERTIES OWNED BY FRANK DARABONT AND AMC (TELEVISION SERIES), ROBERT KIRKMAN AND TONY MOORE (COMIC BOOK SERIES), A GREAT BIG WORLD AND CHRISTINA AGUILERA, AND CAMERON CROWE, RESPECTIVELY. I ONLY OWN MY OWN ORIGINAL IDEAS AND CHARACTERS.
Chapter Fifty Three: ... Say Anything
"I swear on the twins! Ask Rick!"
Delilah's movements ceased at his words. "What?" Her eyes widened. "Rick knows?"
Rick winced as he overheard the conversation, knowing he was pretty much screwed. He hadn't realized where his hand was until he looked down to see it wrapped around his Colt Python, ready to pull it out.
What has gotten into me? Damn it, I should have told her when I had the chance. There's no way to get out of this.
Rick quietly walked backwards to his original spot in order to hear the rest of the conversation, but knowing it was only going to get worse from here on in.
Billy nodded. "Yes, I told him that night in the factory. I also told him it was Christine that gave out the fake business cards. I must have contacted you countless times on the Iridium phone and tried to find you on the Beacon. Hell, I even went back as far as Mississippi looking for you!" He kept the semi-firm grip on her arms.
All the color had drained from Delilah's face, feeling like she had transformed into a statue, her mouth dry and hanging open in disbelief. She wasn't sure what was upsetting her more, the fact that Billy went looking and couldn't find her or that Rick knew and not only hid it, but lied to her face. As of now, Delilah was angry at both of them. Everything was starting to feel like "Heffalumps and Woozles" from Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day, an eerie out of body experience and that all of this was out of control, she could envision the song and clip a little too perfectly in her mind.
"Ahh, shit." Billy shook his head in worry and snapped his fingers in front of her face before lightly shaking her. "Delilah, Delilah. Delilah, honey, stop thinking about the Heffalumps and Woozles. It's ok." He knew by how her pupils were dilated and her mouth was hanging slightly open that she was being disturbed by her thoughts, remembering how she confessed her mind going to dark places, with "Heffalumps and Woozles" being a recurring one. Rick had no idea what he was talking about at all, making him feel like he didn't know Delilah as well as he thought..
After a couple minutes, Delilah's eyes calmed down and the color returned to her face, Billy spoke again.
"I always knew you were alive. Christine kept telling me otherwise, that I had to let you go, move on with my life and just accept how things turned out, but I knew it. I knew you didn't die like she said you did, and Jennifer knew also. She believed it up until Christine shot her in the head. Before leaving Dallas, I looked for you in Austin and San Antonio. I would have gone back to Houston, but I couldn't bring myself to return to Steverson Ranch, it's too traumatizing. I never gave up on you, I was just too late to show it, but maybe things can be different now. I love you. You're the love of my life, there never was anybody else and there never will be. I love you more than you'll ever know."
They were all the words she wanted to hear, but it was too little too late. "What is it that you want from me?" She stepped out of his hold and a couple steps back, creating a distance for them.
"Delilah, the day we left you was the day I died. Christine has never been who I thought she was, she's always been a monster. She took advantage of me, of both of us. I was completely miserable and disgusted with myself for what I did and how I could allow this to happen. My depression got even worse because I couldn't bring myself to tell Jennifer the truth, but it hit an all time high. A month after the twins were born, I decided to kill myself. I wrote Jennifer a letter revealing everything- my one night stand with Christine, how she conned me into leaving you behind, my anti depressant addiction- I told her to take the twins and get them as far away from Christine as possible because they wouldn't stand a chance of survival, especially with how the world is now. A life without you was one not worth living even though I had this feeling that you were still alive somewhere out there. I was all set to slice my wrists open and end it when the baby monitor went off. If I left Santino and Serena behind with Christine, they'd be done for, and I couldn't do that. I look at you now and I'm reminded of all the damage I did, not just for you, but for us. My heart is smashed without you." His voice cracked and it seemed like he was going to cry, which saddened Delilah, especially that he tried to kill himself, but also pissed her off because she was confused about her feelings all over again. Rick saw her eyes watering and felt defeated, unsure if this would be goodbye or not. Delilah didn't even blink, two tears falling down her cheeks as her face twisted up in a scowl.
"Maybe you should cry, I cried enough for the three of us for the past year. I don't care anymore if me crying is showing weakness, I have a right to let it all out. I wanted to share everything with you. Your hopes, fears, and dreams, just like you wanted to with me, or so I thought. I wanted us to build a life and a future together. Santino and Serena should have been OUR children, not with Christine! She can't even take care of them! I loved you, Bill, with my whole heart and everything I had. I would have walked on fire across the universe to prove my love to you, and you brushed me off! I picked you over my own mother, the woman that brought me into this world, and you fucking abandoned me!"
She saw that Billy also had tears in his eyes, but she kept going. "You probably only want me back because Christine pissed you off and the only chicks here that want you are underage. I'm not some fucking toy that you can store away and pick up again when you're bored. I'm a living, breathing human being with feelings and emotions. We were good together, we had the kind of love that people chase, that they dream of having. If our love were a fairytale, it would move planets and align galaxies, but when the going got tough, you wanted out. You keep saying you knew I was alive, but I bet you didn't even consider what would happen to me because of all this, how it would damage me even further. I would have followed you anywhere."
Her voice was really cracking now and the tears were uncontrollable. All the heartache hit her like a typhoon, leaving Delilah with no choice but to unleash. "No matter what the hell was going on with me, I never loved you any less. I think what hurts the most is that I wasn't able to help you when you were on those stupid pills. All the signs were there, and I hate myself for not thinking they were more serious. That you helped me when I was acting out, but you obviously didn't trust me enough to help you! None of this would have happened if you had let me in! We would still be together! All of this could have been avoided! Even though what you did was messed up, I probably would have forgiven you for sleeping with Christine, because everybody and their mother was well aware of how obsessed she was with you, that she would go to great lengths just to get you in bed! We could have dealt with the pregnancy and rode it out, because real love is worth fighting for and when you love somebody, you practically want to Superglue yourselves so you'll stick forever. You weren't there though, Bill. You weren't there when I fell off the second floor and was literally hanging by the hood on one of the balusters while flesh hungry maniacs were trying to eat me! You weren't there when I had to impale them all and get across to the staircase like it was the monkey bars, or hiding under the truck during the twenty minute hailstorm, only to watch the house collapse where so many memories were created! Lastly, you weren't there the nights I screamed and cried myself to sleep, when I was going through hellish medication withdrawal, but I forced myself to overcome it. The worst part is is that there's no way for you to put yourself in my shoes, to have the person you love more than anything ditch you. To be truly all alone, feeling worthless and undeserving!"
"Delilah, I'm sorry!" Billy dropped to his knees and held onto her thighs as he openly sobbed, almost taking her down with him. Delilah was startled at this sudden burst of emotion, as was Rick. "I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you, that it seemed like I gave up, I was over my head and just kept falling! I fucking hate the person that I've become and I especially hate myself for what I did to you. I didn't try hard enough to stop her, instead I let her manipulate and trick me. I should have taken you with me, but I knew you wouldn't want to be separated. You wouldn't even come with me to Houston until she agreed to come with us, because you didn't want her to be alone. That's because your heart is pure and loving, you would never abandon somebody. Even when I was acting like an asshole and couldn't get it up and shut you out because of the Effexor side effects, you were still there for me. You are one of the strongest and most caring people I've ever met, you have a huge heart of gold, I was a blind fool to ever give you up. Delilah, I am a broken man with nothing."
"That is not true. Shh, shh, it's ok. I've got you, let it all out. Everything is alright, Piano Rebel, just cry." In a very chaste manner, she reverted back to an old habit and started stroking his hair, wanting to calm Billy down. While she had seen him cry before, he had never been this overwhelmed.
"No, it is the truth. I have nothing and it's not ok. I've been holding it in and I can't take it anymore. My parents, Mamie and Papie, my siblings, Archie, Anna, Sadie Belle, the poor little zombie faces we had to kill, and how I couldn't save Jennifer in time. I never told anybody this, but I'm not even sure that was really them at the ranch that day. The only ones we could tell were Mamie, Papie, Kyle, and Archie. What if the rest managed to escape somehow? We have no idea what's happened to any of our friends or your mom or where they are. You are the only one thing I have left to how the world used to be, I couldn't bear losing you a second time around over something I did." Billy started stroking her UGGS as he cried harder, the suede material felt warm against his cold hands. It almost made Delilah want to giggle because when he would ride his hands up and down the boots they would press into her calfs, which were also ticklish. She forced herself not to laugh and to be comforting, even if he did deserve the wrath of pain and anger.
"I've thought that too, if they were turned or slipped out just when the zombies ambushed the house. My mother is still alive, I know she is and we'll find each other. If you and Christine were able to find me, then I know we'll be reunited. You have more than nothing. You're still alive and have two beautiful children. From what I've seen and heard, you've proven yourself to be a really great daddy." Delilah felt her breath hitch in her throat as she said that one little word, "Daddy", knowing it would never be in regards to their own children. She wiped her tears away and cleared her throat before going back to his hair. "I can tell they adore you by how their little faces light up whenever you're around."
The sight of Billy hugging Delilah and her trying to calm him down had become too much for Rick, even though it was part of her nature to more or less provide solace to others in a time of need. He thought she was devoted to him and him alone, but Delilah was clearly holding onto the past and it appeared she was still in love with Billy. Rick briskly walked off in desperate need to clear his head and brace himself for what was yet to come.
Delilah glanced over, she thought she heard the sound of heavy boots walking, but nobody was there. Regardless, a feeling of apprehension swept over her. What if somebody had been watching, specifically, what if it had been Rick?
Billy pulled away from her legs, his green-blue eyes shining. "They don't have a real mother, and that's my fault. If they were our kids, you would be the best mother you could be, you've already spent more time with them in a week than Christine has in thirteen months. Delilah, I didn't know if I'd see you again outside of my thoughts and dreams, and now that I know you're alive, I won't just walk away or raise a white flag in surrender. I will stop at nothing to get you back." He looked into her eyes and let the silent tears fall freely. In that moment, she knew he was telling the truth and her guard flew down, every single kiss, fight, and memory came flooding back.
"Billy-" It was the first time she had called him that since his arrival to Jellbany, apart from when she introduced him and Christine to Carl. In his eyes, it was a personal feat. He wiped his tears away before taking both of her hands in his.
"We belong together, why else would our paths have crossed again if it wasn't fate?" Billy truly believed that somehow this was supposed to happen, that he and Delilah were meant to be back together again.
"What about the twins? You can't leave them, Christine's still their mother, she might harm them." Am I seriously entertaining this?
"Baby, we can start over with them and have a family of our own, too. When the world gets restored again in a few years, we can get married and you can adopt the twins, just like your mom did with Christine. Even if it's not and we get back together, we can still get married. Mac is ordained, and I overheard that you still have your wedding dress, and I still have Mamie and Papie's wedding rings. Here, this is how serious I am." He reached into his pocket, pulling something out and holding it up, making Delilah gasp when she saw it.
"How did you-"
He opened the Harry Winston box, her flawless engagement ring sparkling. "That first night when Madison threw her in the shower and Scott gave her the tranquilizer. I snuck in and took it off. I told you I'd get it back. Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours." It hadn't been an easy task, especially since Christine had forced the ring to fit and it was wedged on her finger. Billy didn't have any butter, so he had to use almost a whole travel size bottle of hand sanitizer to get the ring off. Luckily for him, Delilah had kept the supply of Tiffany jewelry cleaner in the stockpile.
She took the box from his hands, staring down at the previous symbol of love and back into the eyes of who she thought was her one and only. "But-"
"I'm not asking you to marry me again right now, even though that is what I want at some point when. I made a promise to get the ring back and I want to prove that I'm good to my word. All I want right now is for you to kiss me."
"What? You can't be serious." Butterflies immediately swarmed her stomach as he rose to his feet and she felt clammy all over again.
"Delilah, I don't want to be with anybody else but you. Let's just kiss and see if there's still something there. If you really don't feel anything, I promise I'll leave you alone forever and accept your relationship with Rick, even though it will take some time." It may have seemed like a contradiction, but it made sense. Billy was voicing his desires, but also being realistic about all the outcomes.
She shook her head. "No, I can't do that with you."
He stepped forward and put his hands on her face, just like all the times they had locked lips before. It made her think of their very first kiss.
After talking on the phone and iChatting for about two months, Delilah invited Billy to her first dance competition, but he couldn't go because it was on the same night as his final basketball game, which he had invited her to also. She hid her disappointment well and understood how busy he was with his upcoming graduation, but she also couldn't help but wonder if they would only ever be phone buddies, hiding behind their electronics in order to communicate their flirtations.
Fortunately, the cosmos above had other plans. Billy's basketball game ended early, with UCLA beating USC by twenty points, and he surprised Delilah with a gorgeously vibrant bouquet of assorted alstroemerias, tulips, and daffodils and a kiss on the cheek right before she and Angelo were set to hit the floor. His appearance backstage caused a stir, with all the girls asking if that was Delilah's boyfriend once he left, giving her the glamorized popularity and attention she had always wanted socially in high school. Delilah and Angelo performed a flawless Viennese waltz to "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by The Verve, which had been the theme song from the movie Cruel Intentions. She resembled an angel in her white flowing ball gown with white and blue fluttering wings attached to the sleeves from the skirt, the whole chiffon, lyrca, and satin number adorned in rhinestones, making it sparkle like diamonds in the sun.
Billy had been sitting in the front with Rachelle and Delilah's platonic aunt Nicole, along with Christine, who kept trying to flirt, but he was too busy watching and cheering Delilah on. It was thanks to Billy showing up that her already radiating smile shone even brighter, and she and Angelo won first place, along with a spot to the semi-finals. Angelo had not been happy that Billy whisked Delilah away afterwards, for he wanted to take her out to celebrate, and Christine was just annoyed all around.
Following a bite at Mel's Diner and not wanting to end the wonderful evening so soon, Billy took Delilah to the observatory at Moorpark College to stargaze. The sky had been clear and coated with billions of glistening stars lighting up the almost midnight hour. Out of the blue, Delilah said something about how Billy was the perfect height for giving piggy back rides and being jumped up on, so he unexpectedly swooped her up on his back, the two of them laughing. Once their laughter subsided, he turned her around so they were facing each other, her arms and legs still wrapped around him while his arms were wrapped around her back. Billy confessed that he performed "The Rock Show" the first night he saw Delilah to get her attention and how he had been looking all over for her since then. Delilah remembered her stomach doing flip flops and her cheeks burning as she admitted with a bashful smile to being fixated on him while performing earlier, both of them flattered by the other's declarations before things got serious. Billy gazed down at her with an affectionate look in his eyes, telling Delilah how she was so beautiful, who was praying he couldn't hear how loud her heart was beating. Just as he was about to make his move, they saw a shooting star soaring in the sky. When Delilah asked him what he wished for, Billy's response was to put his hands on her face, lean in, and kiss her, gentle and tender. Delilah felt like she was going to fly out of her body from the excitement and happiness as her legs unwrapped, with one off the ground and her other foot popped while her arms were still wrapped around his neck.
When they pulled away with love struck smiles on their faces and rosy cheeks, the moment was interrupted by the flashlight of two pesky campus security guards patrolling the area, but not even that turned down the already rising heat between them. One kiss turned into a myriad, from the observatory to Delilah straddling Billy in the driver's seat of his Tesla parked in front of her house, "Waiting for a Girl Like You" by Foreigner playing as they fogged up the windows before sneaking inside. Billy didn't want Delilah to think he was either a dork or a player, but he had been waiting for a girl like Deliah to come into his life. This had only been the second time they hung out, but they already had such a powerful connection and now an incredibly strong and youthful passion, both resulting in off the charts chemistry. After narrowly avoiding Rachelle, who had been waiting Delilah's arrival but acted oblivious because she trusted her daughter's judgement, they snuck into the family room and continued their tryst. Limbs entangled, hair tugged, tongues waltzing, hands caressing, the young adults rolling all over the black leather couch in a session of kisses alternating from soft to heavy and interrupted with whispers of sweet nothings and staring fondly into each other's eyes until Billy left at almost 5 in the morning. Two weeks later, Billy surprised her by serenading "Delilah" by Tom Jones in front of her house with the entire basketball team after their graduation, which lead to Billy and Delilah becoming official boyfriend and girlfriend.
Delilah had been so lost in her memories that she hadn't realized how close their faces were. "Billy, wait..." She pleaded with sad, teary eyes.
"Delilah, please..."
They both knew they should stop, but they couldn't. Billy's need to kiss her was bigger than his willpower. Delilah felt almost powerless in his hold while her mind was screaming at how she was paralyzed by nostalgia.
No, no, no! You're in a committed relationship! This is cheating! Don't do it! RICK, RICK, RICK, YOU WON'T BE ANY BETTER THAN LORI IF YOU GO THROUGH WITH THIS, DELILAH! YOU'LL JUST BE A RELATIONSHIP WRECKER SKANKY SLUT WHORE BITCH LIKE YOUR SISTER!
This was a recipe for disaster if it wasn't immediately stopped. Just as their lips were inches away from each other's, Delilah regained her senses and pushed Billy off of her, both of them having a panicked expression over what almost just happened.
Delilah felt sick to her stomach, she had almost gone against everything she stood for, and it was too close. Her face was once again paled and her pupils were even more dilated.
"I CAN'T! I'M WITH RICK! I CAN'T DO WHAT SHANE AND LORI DID TO HIM! I CAN'T DO WHAT YOU AND CHRISTINE DID TO ME! I'M SORRY, BILLY, YOU'RE NOT ALONE WITH HOW YOU FEEL, BUT I HAVE TO GO." Delilah ran off, crying, which also made Billy upset.
"Delilah, wait! Come back! I'm sorry!" He felt guilty for attempting to cross such a boundary, because not only was it morally wrong, but it had now pushed her away, which was the last thing he wanted. All the groundwork they had just laid was now erased "Fuck! I'm such an idiot!" Billy kicked the wall and let out a mild scream before walking off in a huff, just wanting to be alone and not go on a raid with Eugene in two hours, but knowing he had to, leaving him hopeful that Delilah would be willing to accept his apology once he returned later that evening.
Christine had been watching the whole scene from the other side of Inventory Range, and for longer than Rick had. She wasn't angry or feeling vengeful, she was sad. Like she predicted, Delilah would be getting back together with Billy, and she couldn't have both guys. That left Rick vulnerable and in need of comfort, which is exactly what Christine planned on giving to him. After all, it was time for her to be good to get good in return, no matter what.
AWWW! POOR RICK, DELILAH, AND BILLY! THIS CHAPTER WAS HARD FOR ALL OF THEM, AND IT WAS EMOTIONALLY HARD TO WRITE. WHAT DID WE THINK AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?! CHAPTER FIFTY FOUR, HOW THE MIRROR USED TO LOOK, WILL BE COMING SOON! PLEASE VOTE IN THE NEW POLL ON MY PROFILE ABOUT WHO IS BEST SUITED FOR DELILAH!
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW AND SPREAD THE WORD! NO FLAMES!
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Forever Rising Phoenix