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Forever Rising Phoenix	By : ImagineLayla131 Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 7147 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NOR HAVE ANY AFFILIATIONS WITH THE WALKING DEAD FRANCHISE. ALL PROPERTIES OWNED BY FRANK DARABONT, AMC, ROBERT KIRKMAN AND TONY MOORE. NO MONEY/PROFIT IS BEING MADE OFF OF THIS FANFICTION!

Chapter List
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Hello world and my wonderful readers! The big confrontation has arrived! I was going to post later in the week, but it's Andrew Lincoln's birthday today, so I made an exception. Happy Birthday Andrew Lincoln, keep rocking the sexy! ;)
I forgot to mention in the last chapter that I posted the dossiers of Billy's family on Instagram, along with Delilah's wedding dress, so check them out and let me know what you think! :) As always, the link is on my profile! Sorry if Carl seems a little bit out of character, but from what we've seen last season, he can get unpredictable. For this story line in particular, I followed my heart writing wise. Also, everybody should check out "What If", it's a beautiful song and Kate Winslet has an extraordinary voice!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NOR HAVE ANY AFFILIATIONS WITH THE WALKING DEAD FRANCHISE OR JAR OF HEARTS. ALL PROPERTIES OWNED BY FRANK DARABONT AND AMC (TELEVISION SERIES), ROBERT KIRKMAN AND TONY MOORE (COMIC BOOK SERIES), AND CHRISTINA PERRI, RESPECTIVELY. I ONLY OWN MY OWN ORIGINAL IDEAS AND CHARACTERS.
Chapter Fifty Five: Two of Hearts
Rick sighed heavily, not wanting to say the words but knowing he had to. "I think you might still have feelings for Billy."
Neither one of them had noticed that "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri was playing. Delilah was beginning to feel shaky, and even though she had nothing to hide, her problem was how exactly she was going to tell him. She took off the veil and laid it on the bed before grabbing her hot pink satin kimono and throwing it on, tying the sash as she slipped out of her Louboutins. Delilah felt kind of silly and a bit uncomfortable having such a heavy discussion in her wedding gown, which is why she covered up, but she still wasn't facing him. .
"Rick..."
"Do you have romantic feelings for him?" He noticed her hesitation, which did nothing for his nerves. Being a cop for so many years, Rick was a pretty astute reader of body language, and judging by how stand offish Delilah was, not even being able to look at him, meant she was holding back on the truth.
His question sucker punched Delilah in the stomach, but she wasn't the only one that had explaining to do. She turned around and faced him, the uneasiness hanging in the air. "Before I answer that, I need you to answer me this one question and tell me the truth: Is it true that Billy went looking for me past Dallas?" She looked at Rick with skepticism and sadness in her big aquamarine colored eyes.
They were both aware that she already knew the answer, but there was no point in holding back now. With a somber look on his face, he replied. "Yes."
"Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?"
His confirmation made Delilah even more upset. The Heffalumps and Woozles were starting to return, she felt clammy and sick to her stomach, almost light headed. It was as if her heart was literally breaking, not just from that Billy was telling the truth, but also that Rick lied. "Jar of Hearts" was about betrayal, and that's exactly how Delilah felt right now, betrayed by what was thought to be the most unlikely person. She hadn't realized that her mouth was hanging open, so she snapped it shut and glared at him with ire.
"Why did you keep something so serious from me?! The whole time we've been together, I have never lied to you about anything, not once!"
"No, you didn't. You just withheld the fact that you were in a psychiatric ward." Rick knew that that statement may have been out of line, he almost wished he hadn't have said it, but it was the truth. Although her anger threatened to dissipate into sorrow, she had to defend herself against the harshness of his comment.
"I was sixteen years old, Rick, and I wasn't even supposed to go, they lied to us! As soon as you turn eighteen, it doesn't count and I had it expunged. I didn't think that my sister would reappear from oblivion and throw me under the bus! Nobody else knew about that, there wasn't a reason to tell. I have proven time and time again that what's written on those papers is irrelevant. You knew about Billy and you kept it a secret. Yesterday in the car, I asked you, point-blank, "Did you two talk about anything else?" and you said "No", without even a second thought. You lied to me! What did you have to gain by hiding that from me? Didn't you think I deserve to know? I would have liked to have had some clarity, some damn closure! It would have been nice to know that I wasn't completely dead to both of them!"
He didn't want to lose her, but his actions back fired and may have sent Delilah running straight into Billy's arms. "I regret withholding it from you, I really do, and last night when I said I wanted to talk, that's what it was regarding. Maybe it was better that you heard it from Billy instead of me, you might have thought I was trying ease the tension. I saw you two talking this morning."
Her eyes widened and her heart started thumping wildly over what he could have possibly seen. "What? You did?" She wanted to address what he had just said, but in hindsight, maybe it was better hearing it from Billy.
Rick nodded. "I left not too long after he started crying. Just from what I heard him say and what I saw from you, I think I may have asked and answered my own question, but I need to hear the truth. Are you still in love with Billy?"
There was no turning back, Delilah could no longer run and hide from the truth and those who needed to know. "Yes, I am." Her voice cracked as she spoke next, knowing her eyes were tearing up all over again, further validating the assumed status of emotional train wreck. "I'm scared, I'm confused. I don't even know what to think, but I do know I can't hurt you. That's the last thing I want." Growing up, Delilah's nickname was "The No-Fears Kid", dubbed by her father. Like many things, he had failed to tell her that love can be scary sometimes, especially when a girl's heart is torn between her past and her present, the situation being both undesired and also uncommon. She watched Rick's stern look turn into one of pure frustration, his eyes glowering with annoyance.
"Are you serious? You would take him back after everything he put you through, all the pain and the nightmares he and your sister caused? You almost died, Delilah!" Rick had actually backed Delilah up against the wall and gotten in her face, something that he had never done before to her or any other woman. Delilah could feel herself getting pissed off and jabbed him in the chest before pointing her finger up at him, refusing to be pushed around, even though his anger was warranted.
"Hey! Don't you dare stand there with a straight face and tell me that we would still be together if Lori had survived Judith's birth. Are you going to tell me otherwise?"
"And Billy is the father of your sister's children!"
"This isn't easy for me, it's not as if I woke up and decided "Hey, I've met a great guy and in love with him, why doesn't my ex fiancé come in the picture and shit all over everything?!" I feel like my damn head is going to explode!" She took a deep breath, softening her eyes. "Rick, I love you, you know I love you, but I'm worried I'm gonna act out on some stupid impulse and ruin what we have. Is there anyway at all you can put yourself in my shoes? I mean, for sake of argument, if Lori actually came back, I think it would be highly unlikely that you'd pick me over her. As a matter of fact, if anything, I'd tell you to try and work it out with her because you have kids, I'd put my happiness aside and be selfless so the right thing could be done."
"So you'd let me go?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. SHE had pursued him, SHE had said "I love you" first, and now she was going to hypothetically let him go?
"Honestly? I think you might feel conflicted, also. Before the world went to shit, you got to be with your first love. You got to have the experiences one should have, a home and a child, a life together! I didn't! Everything you had with Lori was exactly what I wanted with Billy, what we dreamed of having together, it was taken away from us!"
"Partly because of him, or did you forget that? Delilah, he went along with Christine's plan, and it takes two to tango. I know he was lured and manipulated because of the anti-depressants, but how long will that excuse be plausible?"
Unfortunately, Delilah knew he was right, and it further exasperated everything. "I don't know. Billy and I don't have kids, but we do have six years of history between us. There's a lot of unresolved feelings on both ends. Technically, he didn't even break up with me, Christine did. I mean, what are the odds that we would actually be reunited again after a year and a half? I was hoping he was dead, but what if fate is trying to tell me something? Rick, do we even have a future together, one that we can salvage in this world now? Sometimes, I don't even know how you genuinely feel about me, I get mixed signals. One day you can't keep your hands off of me and we talk for hours, it's like we can see into each other's souls. The next day we argue and you scold me like some little kid while avoiding any intimacy. Am I your girlfriend or your daughter? Perhaps I'm neither, I'm just your rebound, your harem girl, your sex queen. Also, do you know in the close to three months we've been together, there has not been a single time that I've seen you without your wedding ring on?"
Rick knew she had a point, he hadn't even realized that he was still wearing his wedding ring. It made him question why he hadn't taken it off. He looked down and noticed that Delilah was wearing her engagement ring. "What about you? You're not only wearing your engagement ring, but you might as well stroll on down the aisle with how you look now. You're really serious about this, aren't you? Wearing my wedding ring had just become so routine that I didn't notice. It's pretty much my only reminder of her."
She felt both embarrassed and annoyed, she shouldn't have listened to him and just insisted on changing, the kimono obviously wasn't enough to conceal the fact that she was wearing her wedding dress. At the same time, his avoidance about their future concerned her as well. "Don't compare a few minutes to a few months, you could have worn it on the opposite finger. I just got sentimental and started reminiscing, I plan on taking it off. Listen, I didn't ask for this to happen. I didn't ask for Billy to reappear in my life, especially when I didn't think it was even possible. I finally moved on, and he swoops in, completely fucking up my head! I don't know what to do, I just need some time to think things through."
"How long?" He couldn't believe that he was even entertaining the suggestion, but perhaps there was a method to the madness. Maybe they needed a break to sort things out, because Rick would be lying to himself if he didn't doubt Delilah's maturity at times, with right now being particularly true.
She hesitated. "A week? If it makes you feel any better, I most likely won't be going back with him, but I need to spend some time with both of you and figure out which path is the one I'm supposed to take, if it's my destiny to be back together with Billy or to keep going strong with you. I hope you can understand and believe in me to know I'll make the right decision." Delilah reached out to touch his face in comfort, but he turned his head and walked towards the door, but not before turning around to face her again.
"You know what? Spend as much time as you want with him, you've been with me for three months, this isn't one of those stupid reality dating shows. Delilah, I love you, Carl and Judith love you, too. You said we were your family, and I started to believe it was true. I let my guard down and allowed love back into my life for the first time since my wife died. You're making a mistake, Billy will just hurt you again, and think about Christine. She already tried to kill you once, but she'll try to kill you both this time and might actually succeed, but think of Santino and Serena." Rick was rather ambivalent at this point and had no idea what to even think, but he wasn't holding back on anything he said.
Delilah's eyes filled with tears, the death claw tightening it's grip on her heart over her confusion. This was the first time he had ever actually referred to Lori as his wife, he had always just called her by her name. "I have, I've thought about all of this. You are my family, no matter what. I don't want to hurt anybody, but when you love somebody, hurt is part of the package, it's inevitable. Inevitable for all involved. You, me, the kids, Billy, even Christine. I'm stubborn sometimes, maybe this is me learning the hard way. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us for me to be with you if I wasn't one hundred precent devoted, it wouldn't be fair because it would mean that I was indecisive and not following my heart." This was the last thing she wanted, but there had to be answers and they wouldn't just appear over night, not when she had so much invested with both of them. Love, anger, passion, time, emotions, memories. All of these came into play and couldn't be shrugged off.
"Maybe you should be with somebody closer to your age, the way you're conducting yourself now, you're just a little girl."
As much as it hurt, she deserved every single slam. "Perhaps I'm still a little naive. I never said I was perfect, but I'm learning."
"Take as long as you need, but by the time you figure it, I may not be here."
"What? What are you saying?" Delilah let her tears fall, now being panicked at his next statement.
He heavily exhaled, not having rationally thought about this, but it seemed appropriate in the moment. "I think you know what I'm saying." They both knew he wouldn't leave, that it would be too much of a risk going back out there with Carl and Judith, but Delilah was truly terrified.
"No! No, you can't do that, you promised me that no matter what you would never leave me and that we'd always be part of each other's lives!" She approached Rick, grabbing his arm in attempts to get him to look at her. "Rick, I love you! You can't forget that! Please, just listen to me!" He shrugged her off.
"I've listened to all I need to hear and said all I need to say, I know how I feel. You love me, but you love Billy, too. I understand you need time, but all I want you to know is that you shouldn't expect me to wait around forever like some pathetic sap." With that, he walked out of the room and closed the door, leaving Delilah crying.
"Rick, wait!" She further burst into tears that this was what things had turned into.
It's your fault, you and your stupid torn heart.
Delilah blasted the volume on the Bose to tune out her sobs, "What If" by Kate Winslet playing as she fell back on her bed, burying her face into the pillow as she cried. The words rang truth, what if she shouldn't have let Rick go and had just tried to make a decision on the spot? Even if they got back together again, damage had been done, and it may have been unfixable, and it was all thanks to her.
Rick had stormed out of Home Base and found himself pacing on the side of the factory near the parking lot. He couldn't believe that this was happening, but a part of him almost saw this coming. Rick was infuriated and kind of wished that he had shot Billy on the spot earlier to alleviate the problem, but that would have only made things worse. Delilah would surely hate him and he would be leaving the twins without a father. In an odd way, he kind of understood how Shane felt, because now the tables were turned. Billy was Rick, being the original lover, but instead of being falsely confirmed as dead, he had been lured to abandon Delilah and she just assumed he was dead, while Rick was Shane, the second chance at love, and Delilah was Lori, torn between two loves, her past and her present. Love triangles certainly are a bitch. Rick thought to himself, he also thought that maybe he had been a bit too harsh with Delilah, but he had to speak his mind. Delilah was right, she and Billy had so much between them, it would be selfish to demand her to choose on the spot, but that didn't make him any less angry.
"ARGH!" He threw his head back and let out a frustrated roar before crouching down on the ground. Perhaps he had been a little too harsh on Delilah after all.
"Dad?" Rick turned around to see Carl walking up to him. He stood up and straightened himself out.
"Carl."
The teenager approached his father. "Dad, what's going on? What are you doing out here?"
Rick heavily exhaled. "Just clearing my head."
"What happened? Where's Delilah? I haven't seen her all day." Carl looked concerned, even more so by his father's perturbed demeanor.
"She's in her room. We broke up. I wanted you to hear it directly from me first before somebody else told you." He watched his son's face fall, the anguish hitting both of them simultaneously. There was a long silence before Carl finally broke it.
"This is because of Billy, isn't it?" His dad didn't have to say anything, Carl could tell by his face that it was true. Ever since Carol and her new group arrived, he had feared that Delilah would leave his dad and go back to Billy.
"Not necessarily, I hid something from her that Billy told me, that he went looking for her."
Carl raised a curious eyebrow. "He did? Why didn't you tell her?" He was surprised to say the least, his father had never been one to lie about anything. Being an officer of the law, he lived by a strict code of dignity and integrity.
Rick nodded. "Yep, and I figured when he got the chance, he would tell her." Even if that were true, it didn't excuse the fact that he lied to Delilah in the first place. Rick could tell by his son's tense appearance that he was angry. "Listen, Carl. I don't want you to be mad at her. It was kind of a mutual decision." More or less, it had been, because he had agreed to it.
"Angry at her? I'm angry at both of you! How could you do this to me, Dad? And to Judith? You start up with Delilah, I finally get past the fact that you're with somebody other than Mom, and you have to go and ruin it? You and that asshole, Billy! I knew that he was no good, she made a stupid decision in letting him stay here."
"That's not for us to say. She did a very selfless thing by allowing them to stay here, but he came back and old feelings resurfaced. Delilah will make a decision. Whatever happens, don't let what's going on between her and me effect your own relationship. This is nothing personal against you or your sister, she still loves and cares about you both very deeply." Rick felt Carl's pain and it killed him, for this was the last thing he wanted and despite everything, he was positive it was the last thing Delilah wanted for Carl as well.
"Whatever, Dad. You shouldn't have lied to her at all."
"Even if I told her the truth, the feelings can't be ignored. It's natural, it would be like if your mother were alive and I had to choose between her and Delilah."
"MOM DIDN'T TRY TO KILL YOU LIKE BILLY DID TO DELILAH! I don't care if he was tricked into it by Christine, he still did it! If Delilah picks him over you, then she's as big of a bimbo as the jerks from the prison think she is." Carl stomped away, not wanting to hear anything else his father had to say, especially whatever pathetic excuse he'd make to placate the situation. He was infuriated that their happiness was jeopardized thanks to some tattooed pretty boy moron.
"Carl! Carl, get back here!" Rick called out to his son, but to no avail, feeling like he has let him down once again. For all their sakes, Delilah better not beat around the bush and make a decision in a week's time.

Carl made his way to the backyard by the garden and hardtop wading pool. Due to the weather, the kids were inside, so he was by himself, which was probably for the best, because he was seething mad. In pure frustration, he started kicking an inflatable Bozo the Clown bop bag, his kicks turning into rough punches as it kept bouncing back.
"COME ON! POP, YOU STUPID FUCKING CLOWN!" He punched and kicked harder, his assaults intensifying as the bag kept laughing that ridiculous laugh.
Michonne still wasn't used to being in such a safe environment and not having much to do, even though Ty and the others had been telling her to let loose. Ever since starting up with Tyreese, she had definitely relaxed some, but that didn't mean that she wasn't bored or restless. Taking a walk in hopes of finding something to do, the sight of Carl practically beating up that silly Bozo the Clown bop bag took her by surprise, and she ran up to him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Carl, Carl, stop!" She yanked him away from the clown that he was still trying to punch and hit, not noticing that Michonne had been the one to pull him off, which left him embarrassed.
"S-sorry. Just annoyed." He hung his head down low and tried to walk away, but she stopped him with a gentle touch to the shoulder.
"What's wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything, and you look like you could use a friend, so spill."
They walked over to one of the benches and sat down, Carl huffing angrily. "My dad and Delilah broke up, she has to decide whether she wants to be with him or Billy, because she still has feelings for that jackass. What is wrong with her, how could they do that to us?! That Billy is the biggest prick in the world, he comes up in here and takes my dad's woman away from him! If she goes back with him, then she's stupid, too. That nutcase Christine might try to kill her! Billy needs to be taught a lesson, that if you let a girl go and she finds somebody else, she's gonna stay with them and not go back to you!"
He was speaking so quickly that Michonne barely had enough time to process everything, but she wasn't too surprised when she did. A little hurt, but not surprised. She had worried about this happening, so had everybody else in their group. They had also worried about the repercussion if they did break up, but she didn't want to mention that to Carl and further upset him. Right now, all Michonne cared about was calming the seething boy down. She cleared her throat uncomfortably and put her hand on Carl's shoulder, causing him to look at her. "Carl, I know you're angry at the moment, and you're entitled, but you're not the only one that's hurting. Both your dad and Delilah are going through a lot emotionally. It sounds like Delilah did the right thing. Sometimes, we can't control who we have feelings for."
He looked over at her, perplexed. "The right thing? How the hell is that "the right thing"? My dad is really upset, he was screaming!"
"I know, I know, and we're all upset for him. For the both of them, actually. Even though you're mad right now, I know you still care about Delilah, she's your friend no matter what, and everybody in our group cares about her as if she were one of our own. If Delilah still has feelings for Billy, it wouldn't be fair if she was continuing with your dad. She was being honest when she said she needed to sort it out instead of being deceptive and going behind his back or being selfish and holding it all in. I think in the end, once you've unleashed all your rage, you need to be there for both of them and support them equally, because they'll need it."
Carl knew that Michonne was right, that he had been a bit out of line with snapping at his father, he was just angry. Angry at Rick, at Delilah, at Billy, it was all divided. Except it wasn't like Delilah planned on this happening, and what if it was his dad in her shoes having to choose between two people? Carl would want him to choose the person that he truly loved and made him happy, and he hoped Delilah would do that and not be blinded by obligations to either one of them. He took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right, I know I should. Maybe when things calm down in a bit, I'll go talk to them."
She smiled warmly at him, proud of his maturity. "That's the spirit, kid."
"Thanks for talking to me." Carl reached over and gave her a hug, which she returned. The two of them had really bonded over the past year, from trivial things like ceramic cats and comic books to hard hitting topics like the losses of his mother and her son, respectively.
While Michonne was proud of Carl, she knew that he was hurting, and she didn't blame him. This would effect everybody in all groups in a tremendous way, especially if Delilah did choose Billy over Rick in the end.
AWWW! POOR RICK AND CARL, POOR DELILAH, TOO! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW, ESPECIALLY WHEN BILLY FINDS OUT? HOW WILL THE OTHERS REACT? GLEGGIE, DARYL, BETH, ETC? EVEN THOUGH WHAT SHE DID SUCKS, I THINK ALL IN ALL IT WAS THE RIGHT THING IN THE MOMENT. CHAPTER FIFTY SIX WILL BE COMING SOON!
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW AND SPREAD THE WORD! NO FLAMES!
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Forever Rising Phoenix