Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Beneath a Heart of Darkness	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 4657 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
- 56
- 57
- 58
The title of this chapter means "Truth, Unity, Love."
In peace,
OpenPage x

Tom woke from a fitful night’s sleep, his cramped legs aching, his body exhausted by fatigue. With a groan, he sat up, and raking a hand through his sleep-tousled hair, he swung his legs over the edge of the couch and stood up. His limbs tingled with pins and needles (the end result of sleeping in a confined space), and he shook his arms and stamped his feet until normal sensation returned. Once satisfied he could move freely, he headed toward the kitchen. He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast the day before, and his stomach growled in protest, the emptiness inside his gut competing with the emptiness inside his heart. The tape’s erotic images had infiltrated his dreams, except in his fevered vision, Jorge was mocking him, his expression taunting, daring him to try and compete. The nightmare had played on repeat throughout the night, torturing Tom to the point of insanity. But as he stood in the kitchen, the sun’s morning rays soothing his aching muscles, he accepted it for what it was; a dream, a disturbing hallucination of the mind. Despite what had happened between Dennis and Jorge, he had the power to change the dynamic. All he had to do was find the courage to surrender his body completely, and he and Booker could have the happy ever after they both craved.
A loud slam yanked Tom’s mind back to the present and turning around, he stared at the open bedroom door. Seconds later, he heard the shower turn on, followed by the sound of water hitting the tiled wall, the steady thrum echoing throughout the small apartment. Slowly, an idea formed in his mind, the concept bringing a smile to his lips. It was Providence, a sign from the Gods, and he could not let the opportunity pass without taking action. He’d procrastinated too long by allowing his fear to dictate his feelings. But all that was in the past. It was time to move forward, to push aside his misgivings and embrace life to the fullest. It was time for him to prove to Booker just how much he loved him.
With his hunger temporarily forgotten, he hurriedly stripped off his clothes and threw them onto the couch. Naked, he padded across the living room floor, the erratic thump of his heart pounding loudly in his ears. His skin prickled with anticipation, the paleness of his face and tremor in his hands betraying his internal struggle and the uncertainty of his decision. But he pushed through his anxiety, determined to carry out his plan. It was his time, and before he could allow his nerves to get the better of him, he inhaled a deep breath and opened the bathroom door.
A sudden gust of air rushed through the steam-filled room, the breeze rippling the shower curtain against Booker’s legs. Surprised, he pulled back the vinyl drape, his eyes widening as he took in his lover’s naked form. “Tom, is everything—”
“Can I join you?” Tom crooned, and without waiting for an answer, he stepped into the stall. Taking the soap from Booker's hand, he lathered it into a foam, the oval bar rotating smoothly through his fingers. He’d memorized Jorge’s technique, and placing the soap in the holder, he rubbed his scented hands over his lover’s naked torso.
“This is what you like, right?” he purred, his tender touch caressing the taut flesh of Booker’s chest, the circular motion inching slowly downward with each sensual stroke. “This is what makes you horny.”
Uncomfortable with the way Tom was behaving, Booker took hold of his wrists and gently pulled his hands away. “Don’t.”
It was not the reaction Tom expected and hurt by his lover’s rejection, his lower lip pushed into a pout. “Why not?” he sulked. “You didn’t seem to mind when he did it.”
A slow dawning of understanding registered on Booker’s face, the roller coaster of emotion playing out in a matter of seconds. Confusion quickly turned to disbelief, followed closely by annoyance before manifesting into full-blown rage. Unable to contain his fury, he shoved his hands against Tom’s chest, the force sending the young officer staggering back against the tiled wall. “You watched the tape? Jesus Christ, Hanson, who gave you permission to tamper with my evidence? You fucking sonofabitch, how dare you!”
Although guilty on all counts, Tom still managed to take the moral high ground. “Yeah, I did! And you can protest all you fucking like, but I saw how he made you feel, I fucking saw it with my own two eyes! He made you so fucking horny you were about to blow your load before he even touched you!”
“Get outta my way,” Booker demanded, and ripping back the shower curtain, he pushed past Tom, eager to get some distance between them. “I don’t need to listen to this shit.”
“It’s because I’m not him, isn’t it?”
Tom’s softly spoken question stopped Booker in his tracks and turning around, he stared at his lover in annoyance. “What are you talking about now?”
There was an edge to Booker’s voice that should have warned Tom not to push, but the young officer was past caring. He was tired, his confidence had taken a beating, and he wanted to hear the truth, no matter how devastating.
After turning off the faucets, Tom stepped out of the shower cubicle and confronted his lover, his misery clearly evident by the strained timbre of his voice. “I came in here because I wanted to have sex with you. Not oral sex, proper sex, just like you and Jorge. But it’s obvious I’m not who you want because you turned me down.”
If Tom expected an apology, he was gravely mistaken. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Booker snapped, the muscles in his jaw flexing in rhythm with the torrent of his words. “Why the fuck would you want to replicate something that happened between Jorge and me? That’s sick, Hanson. It’s fucking sick. You need to get over your obsession with him and move on.”
Outraged, Tom lashed out, his palms striking Booker in the chest. “What’s wrong with me? What the fuck’s wrong with you? Look at you, Booker, you’re not even aroused! How the fuck do you think that makes me feel? I walk into the room, stark naked and attempt to initiate sex and you’re still fucking flaccid!”
Suddenly feeling exposed, Booker grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. “That’s got nothing to do with you,” he muttered.
“Really?” Tom challenged, his eyes narrowing into suspicious slits. “Well, if it’s not me, then what is it?”
When Booker remained silent, Tom knew he had his answer. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he replied sadly, and pulling a towel from the chrome railing, he exited the bathroom.
**
Dressed in a pair of boxers, Booker pushed open the bedroom door and entered the room. His damp hair hung in loose strands around his face, the dozens of tiny water droplets clinging to his bronzed flesh glistening in the sunlight streaming in through the open window. He was a vision of exquisite beauty, but his expression projected only sadness. He’d fucked up big time, and he needed to make things right.
Tom lay on the bed, his naked body curled in the fetal position, his eyes closed against the bright rays which suffused his lids with an orange glow. He was tired of fighting, tired of feeling less than a man and all he wanted was to go to sleep and wake up to find the past three months were nothing more than a fevered nightmare of his own imagination.
“I’m sorry.”
The simple apology hung in the air, waiting for acceptance. Without bothering to lift his head, Tom mumbled his reply into the pillow, his words barely audible. “Sorry for what? For not lusting after me like you do him, or for being an asshole?”
It took all of Booker’s willpower to ignore the deliberate provocation and not retaliate with a scathing comeback. He clenched his jaw, capturing the angry retort behind his teeth before it could be released. Several long seconds passed before he felt calm enough to respond, and sitting down on the bed, he laid a hand on Tom’s thigh. “For not explaining myself properly.”
Tom took a moment to digest Booker’s words before acknowledging their existence by opening his eyes. His gaze remained fixed on the floor, his hurt still too raw for him to look his lover in the eye. But despite his disillusionment, he was willing to give the dark-haired officer a chance to justify his actions. He owed him that much, even if it was the end of their relationship.
“Go on,” he prompted, his jaw tightening in anticipation.
Booker released his breath in a slow, heavy sigh. He had no idea if his explanation would satisfy his lover, but what he was about to say was the truth, and that was all he had to give. “When you came into the shower, it brought back memories of Jorge. What we shared was an intimate and pleasurable experience, I won’t deny that. But it wasn’t love, Tom, it was need. We needed comfort, and yeah, there was an attraction, but that’s all it was. We wanted to get off, and we did. End of story.”
The muscles beneath his hand tensed, his lover’s body rigid and unmoving under the weight of his revelation. Seconds ticked into minutes, and just when he thought the silence would drag on forever, Tom posed the obvious question. “Then why wouldn’t you have sex with me?”
The question sizzled in the air like a live wire, electric, powerful, its intensity having the capability to destroy lives. But for Booker, the answer was simple and brushing the hair from Tom’s eyes, he revealed his reasons. “Because I won’t treat you like a whore.”
Tom’s head jerked to the side, his dark eyes meeting Booker’s calm gaze. “What?”
Releasing another world-weary sigh, Booker’s shoulders sagged, and he lowered his eyes to the floor. “You told me once that you wouldn’t be my whore. I’m not proud of what I did that day, but the way I treated Jorge was so much worse than that. I… Shit, this is so hard to say. I used him, Tommy, I used his body to satisfy my own selfish needs. In the beginning, I thought I loved him, but I was kidding myself. I was angry at you… no, I blamed you for putting me in that situation. And before you say anything, I know it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t ask me to get the tapes, I did it because I was in love with you. But it didn’t take long for me to realize I’d made a mistake and… well... let’s just say Holland’s treatment of me screwed with my mind. I wasn’t myself, I was seriously fucked up. I treated Jorge like a slut, but the worst part is, he let me, and I’m not going to make the same mistake again.”
Pushing himself into a sitting position, Tom laid a hand on Booker’s arm. “Was in love with me?” he queried softly, one eyebrow rising in question.
“Am in love with you,” Booker clarified with a smile.
Tom chewed on his lower lip, his forehead wrinkling into a thoughtful frown. “What if I can’t pleasure you the way he did? Will you still love me then?”
Frustrated he wasn’t able to allay Tom’s fears, Booker cupped the young officer’s face in his hand and slowly traced his thumb over his full, enticing lips. “I don’t want you to be him, Tommy, I want you to be you. The way you came onto me in the shower was... I dunno, it felt fake, and I guess that’s why I wasn’t aroused. I won’t lie, I dream of the day we’ll have sex, but I only want it to happen when you’re ready, and not because you’re trying to prove something to me.”
The level of astuteness shown by Booker was rare in men, but he was one of the few who possessed the gift of intuition. He’d seen straight through Tom’s charade, but while many would have taken advantage of the situation, he’d learned from past mistakes. After living years in an abusive household, Jorge had viewed him as his knight in shining armor. He was his companion, his lover, and eventually, his rescuer. But once they’d returned to their lives, he’d discarded him like a used Kleenex, leaving him to fend alone in a world that was now unfamiliar. It was a shitty thing to do, and he regretted his actions every day. While he had a reputation as a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy, the truth was very different. Jorge was the first person he’d used for sexual gratification and comfort alone, and while he recognized he wasn’t of sound mind at the time, it still gnawed at his conscience. Consequently, he was not about to make the same mistake twice. As much as he longed to feel Tom writhing beneath him, he would not take advantage of a desperate man. What he had with Tom was so much more than sex, and he wasn’t about to do anything to ruin what could be, a forever relationship.
“Tommy?” Booker prompted softly when he received no reply. “Did you hear what I said?”
Embarrassed by his actions, Tom nodded his reply. What had seemed like a good idea in the heat of the moment had been revealed for what it was; an act of foolish desperation. Never had he felt so stupid, but sometimes, love made you do the wacky and all he could do was hope Booker would forgive his moment of insanity.
Sensing Tom’s misgivings, Booker lay down on the bed and held out his arms. “C’mere, baby,” he whispered and pulling Tom against his chest, his fingers lightly stroked his damp hair. “Forget about Jorge. I can’t change the past, but you’ve got to believe me, there’s nothing between us. It’s you I love, and no matter what happens, you’re the one I wanna be with, okay?”
With the embarrassment of the morning’s events slowly fading from his mind, Tom snuggled into the warmth of Booker’s body and closed his eyes. “Yeah, I know,” he murmured. “I love you too.”
Booker placed a tender kiss on the top of Tom’s head and closing his eyes, he drifted off to the sound of his lover’s rhythmic breathing, secure in the knowledge their relationship was, once again, back on track.
- 56
- 57
- 58
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Beneath a Heart of Darkness