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Sub Rosa	By : Emeline Category: 1 through F > Charmed Views: 16195 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: yeah, I suck when it comes
to updates.
Frankie: thank you for reviewing
again!
Tor: I�ll try to keep updating.
I�m not sure how long this is going to be, but I�m trying to stick to it.
Jessie: thank you for reviewing.
Chandler: brand spankin� new chapter.
Enjoy.
Luce: so I�m doing the emotion
just right? I was worried that the� action would overshadow the emotion.
B. Pierce: thanks for reviewing.
I�m trying to work out the kinks in the story, but I�ve kind of been neglecting
this. I�m bad.
Silver storm: thanks!
Jw: thank you for reviewing.
Becky: thank you!
Lauren: well, I feel quite
flattered. Thank you!
Starbug: sorry, but I am such a
procrastinator. Thanks for reviewing, though.

Get up, get up� It was time to get up.
The annoying little voice in Paige�s head kept reminding her of that fact.
However, there was another voice telling her to burrow under the covers and
play dead. She felt kind of dead inside. Did that count?
It was definitely a day to stay
home. Hell, it was a week to stay home, eat ice cream and/or chocolate, and
just let the world go on without her, as she went on without Prue.
The thought of Prue sent a ripple
of pain through Paige and reminded her that there would be no more kisses, no
more hot, steamy encounters, no more whispers of that love�
And there would be no more of their
love. Sisters didn�t love each other in the way that she and Prue had loved
each other. It wasn�t right, after all. She couldn�t kiss her sister like that,
and she couldn�t tell Prue that she was in love with her. She could only tell
her that she loved her as a sister. She had to let go of the emotions the past
and embrace the simple emotions of sisterhood. Incest was wrong.
Yet Paige didn�t feel that their
actions were wrong. It had felt so right to be with Prue. It still felt right.
They hadn�t been struck blind. They hadn�t been cursed in any way. Well,
perhaps they had now, for they could no longer be together. They had been
cursed to separation.
Paige�s heart ached from the pain
of separation. She wondered if Prue felt this way. Paige imagined that she did,
and she longed to relieve Prue of that pain. In doing so, she would relieve
herself of her own pain. But there was no way that she could try to comfort
her. That would leave them both too vulnerable to the lure of the past.
Paige rolled over onto her back and
stared at the ceiling. Things had been going so nicely. Happiness, though, was
hard to maintain. How many times had she learned that lesson the hard way? Why
did she keep forgetting that?
Maybe it was because she kept
finding beautiful things in life�beautiful things like Prue. Prue was quite
beautiful, and not just in appearance. Paige had seen her beautiful soul. Prue
was the kind of person who was ambitious yet kind. She really tried always to
help others.
The ache in Paige grew as she
thought of those things, so she quieted her mind. She wished she could stop the
feelings she had summoned as well, but she seemed to have no power over her
emotions. She had called them, and they were too strong for her to control.
It was time to call in sick.
However, the phone rang before Paige could even get out of bed.
* * * *
�Hello?�
Phoebe was immediately struck by
how very desolate Paige sounded. She had expected certain sadness, but this was
surprising. �Hi, Paige,� she finally said. �It�s me, Phoebe. I was just calling
to see when we could kind of introduce you to our Wicca and all that.�
There was a long sigh on the other
end. �I don�t know about this whole thing,� Paige said. �It doesn�t really seem
like my powers would be all that important. I mean, you guys have the Power of
Three.�
�Well, yes, but now that you�ve
found your powers, you�ll become a target for all kinds of nasty things.�
�Some families have a family business.
You have demon-fighting.�
�Yeah, it can be a barrel of fun,�
Phoebe said. She then decided to shift gears. Even though Piper had given her
orders to make sure Paige was kept safe, Phoebe didn�t think that she was going
about this in the right way. Paige didn�t need such a bombardment. She needed a
little compassion. No one else was really going to understand the situation,
after all.
�Paige,� Phoebe started, �I�m
really sorry that this is happening all at once. I�d like to not start this right
now, but you�re really not safe at this point. We don�t even have to discuss
your powers if you come over. I just need you here, and if you want, we can
talk about how you feel. Or we don�t have to talk at all.�
�Well, I�m not planning on going to
work today,� Paige said. There was a long pause. �You�re probably right about
the �nasty things�, so I guess I�ll come over.�
�Great. Piper�s at the club, and��
Phoebe caught herself before she mentioned Prue. �And it�ll just be the two of
us.�
�Mm. See you in a few.�
�Bye.�
As she hung up the phone, Phoebe
came to the understanding that this was going to be a difficult meeting. She
had no problem with Prue and Paige being together, but could she discuss that
with Paige? She didn�t really know her that well. Would Paige even be willing
to talk to her?
She decided that she would just
wing it. She thought best on her feet, anyways.
Paige orbed into the house a short
while later. This was a good sign: she was evidently not freaked out by her
newfound ability.
�So, you feel comfortable orbing?�
Phoebe asked casually.
Paige shrugged. �It feels pretty
natural.� She didn�t look like she was sad; her face betrayed nothing of the
desolation Phoebe had earlier heard. The only hint that something was different
was found in her eyes. However, Paige made an effort to keep her eyes down. She
knew her own weaknesses.
This was turning out to be as
awkward as Phoebe had predicted. She tried to get things moving along by
asking, �Which of the options would you like to go with?�
Paige accidentally made eye
contact, and Phoebe briefly glimpsed the eyes full of ache. �Options? Oh, I
guess I�d like to see the Book of Shadows.�
�That�s a good place to start.
Follow me.� They made their way up to the attic. It was only when they were actually
in the attic that Phoebe thought that maybe the attic wasn�t the best place to
be. This was where the truth had come out.
But if it bothered Paige, she hid
it well, ignoring the surroundings and heading straight for the Book. �Years of
family history all wrapped up in one book,� she commented as she stared at the
Book. �It must be nice to have such a sense of foundation.�
�Well, it�s your foundation too,�
Phoebe said, testing the topic. Paige showed no reaction. She simply continued
to stare at the Book, as if she were afraid to open it. �You can go ahead and
open it. It only shoots away from demons.�
Paige managed a hollow chuckle.
�Right.� She opened the Book carefully, savoring the first pages for a long
time. �It seems so insignificant when you look at it,� she said. �The
incantation, that is. It�s just a poem. It doesn�t look like it has much
power.�
�Sometimes words mean a lot.�
�It�s odd, though,� Paige
continued. �I mean, you just throw a bunch of words together and tada: you�ve
got a spell.�
�There�s a little more to it. You
have to have the right feeling and the right purposes,� Phoebe said.
�Otherwise, it is only a bunch of words. Rhyme is used a lot in spells, but
there doesn�t have to be rhyme for the spell to work. It�s more about the force
behind the words.�
�It�s not really what I�m used to.
This stuff is immediate. I�m used to things taking a while to work,� Paige said
as she flipped through the Book. She didn�t stop to absorb anything. The
movement was more important. �And I�ve never really been sure if those things
were just coincidences.�
�With this stuff, you can be sure.
You just have to watch out for personal gain.�
�Personal gain can�t be that bad,
though.� She glanced up at Phoebe, then quickly looked back down. �Right?�
�Believe me, it can,� Phoebe told
her. �It often is.�
�So many demons,� Paige murmured.
�There�s so much evil in the world.�
�True, but there are plenty of
beautiful, good things in the world.�
Paige stopped flipping through the
Book. Her hand tightly gripped the podium. Before Phoebe could say anything, it
was over, and Paige had relaxed. She couldn�t even be sure that anything had
actually happened.
�Do your spells always work?� Paige
asked.
�Yes, but not always in the way we
intend.� Phoebe studied her curiously. �Are you, ah, thinking of doing a
spell?�
�Oh, no,� Paige quickly said. �I�m
probably not ready to do spells yet. But� do you think that I could? I mean, do
you think that I could be a witch and a whitelighter?�
�Definitely,� Phoebe answered. �You
come from a powerful line of witches. I won�t care if you try a spell. I�m not
a play-by-the-rules person. That�s�Piper.� Once more, she just barely stopped
herself from mentioning Prue.
�And Prue,� Paige softly said. �She
plays by the rules.� Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the podium again.
�Are there any particular beings that hate whitelighters or witch/whitelighter
hybrids?� she asked in a strained voice. Slowly, she relaxed her hands.
Phoebe greatly wanted to comfort
her. �Paige, about Prue��
�What about her?�
�You know what,� Phoebe said. �Not
a lot of people are going to understand this.�
Paige looked up and made eye
contact. She said nothing, but it was clear what she wanted to say. �Oh, and
you can?� is what her expression said. �There are more pressing issues at
hand,� Paige flatly said.
She was not going to get anywhere
with this�not now. �I don�t know about the hybrids, but you do have to look out
for darklighters.� Phoebe started to move towards the Book, but Paige doggedly
searched for the entry herself.
�So they carry crossbows and hunt
current and future whitelighters,� Paige summarized once she found the entry.
�There�s no spell to get rid of them, though.�
�Exactly,� Phoebe said. �If you
ever run into a badass with a crossbow, get out of there and get to us. You
don�t have an offensive power yet.�
�Yet?�
�I doubt that any Halliwell witch,
half or whole, would lack a Wiccan power,� Phoebe said.
Paige nodded. �A Wiccan power would
be good, considering all the demons and warlocks that are out there. But what
should I do until then?�
�We could make some potions,�
suggested Phoebe. �You seem a little drained, though. I think I�ll cook up some
potions, and you can keep looking through the Book.�
�Yeah, that would be good.�
* * * *
Phoebe impressed even herself with
the timing of the send off. It was simply perfect how it worked out. All the
potions she made turned out nicely, and Paige left with a powerful defense in
her hands. Shortly after she had left, Prue and Piper arrived home. There were
no painful meetings.
Avoidance was not the best thing,
Phoebe knew, but confrontation would do little good at this point: it was much
too early. Besides, she would do more harm by interfering. As pure as her
intentions were, her presence would only complicate matters. Whatever Prue and
Paige were going to do, they would have to do on their own. This was what
Phoebe told herself. She didn�t actually know if she would be able to stay out
of this. It was, after all, hitting pretty close to home.
Prue made a point of going straight
to her room without saying a word to either of her sisters. Well, perhaps she
did say�more like mumble�something to Phoebe, but she was certain that that
didn�t even count as English.
The whole house seemed to be
weighed down by grief, and neither Phoebe nor Piper could ignore it.
�They�re miserable without each
other,� Phoebe said when Piper didn�t acknowledge the situation verbally.
�Yes, but what can we do?�
Phoebe stared at her. �What can we
do? We can tell them that it�s okay!�
Piper�s eyes widened a bit, and she
hugged her arms around herself. �Won�t they know?�
�Know what?�
Piper made a feeble gesture with
her hands and didn�t speak.
�Oh, about this?� She kissed Piper
softly on the lips.
Piper couldn�t hide the glow that
was brought forth by the simple kiss. And, if Phoebe wasn�t mistaken, she
didn�t attempt to. Perhaps they were making some progress. �Yeah,� Piper said.
�Won�t it seem kind of suspicious?�
�Nah, we�re just open minded,�
Phoebe said. She felt a little hurt that Piper was so ashamed, but it was
understandable. Strange how often she had to tell herself that. A small part of
her didn�t want to understand. The greater part of her, actually. For a moment,
she set aside the issue of Prue and Paige. �Are you ashamed of what�s happening
between us?� she asked before she could stop herself.
�No, Phoebe. I�m not ashamed. It�s
just��
�Difficult,� Phoebe finished.
�Sudden,� Piper said. �I mean, you�re
my little sister. We can�t just go from being sisters to being lovers.� The
blunt word caught her. Her body seemed to weaken; she sank down into a chair.
Words, now, were beyond her power.
Phoebe rose from her own seat.
�I�ve been pushing you on this,� she said. �I made you go to places you didn�t
want to go. I�m sorry.� She felt no guilt, though, and she didn�t feel sorry.
�No.� Piper pushed herself out of
the chair and took hold of Phoebe�s arm. �No, you didn�t make me go anywhere I
didn�t want to go. You shouldn�t be sorry. What we shared�no, what we�re
sharing now is so important to me.� She sucked in a deep breath. �And this
moment shows me that I can love you the way you love me.�
If there was a good response to
that, Phoebe didn�t have it. Yet it didn�t seem all that important, because now
Piper was caressing her cheek; now Piper was kissing her with such power. It
was passion; it was need. In all, it was love. This was the truest form of
magic, and Phoebe knew that this moment was one of the few that she could lose
herself in. She was safe here, in Piper�s embrace.
Safe was a word that was hard to
trust, but she could trust this.
* * * *
Things were only going to get
worse. If she thought things were going to get easier with time, she was na�ve
fool. Paige was no fool, though. She had experienced heartbreaks before, but
nothing could compare to this. It was not necessarily the intensity; it was
more the reason behind the breakup. She didn�t want to be without Prue. Prue
didn�t want to be without her. And she was going to be around Prue, whether she
wanted that or not. She had no choice in the matter.
So they would be around each other,
wanting to be with each other. A label of evil would be the only thing stopping
them. A label of evil�what a laughable thing that was. Darklighters and demons
were labeled by evil. Incest was more of a taboo.
She hated that word. She hated it
for all the disgust it was meant to inspire in her. She hated it because it
kept her from Prue. Why did it have that power? Why did it have so much power
over her? Why?
That was a question she could not
answer. But she didn�t need the answer. That word wouldn�t keep her from giving
into her pleading emotions. She didn�t have a good reason why it would, or why
she shouldn�t give in.
Yet, there was the issue of Prue�s
sisters�their sisters. If they did give in, it was possible that her sisters
would reject their love. What would happen then? Phoebe and Piper would abandon
Prue. Paige couldn�t let that happen. There was more than a family at stake:
there was the Power of Three.
That was the real reason why she
would stay away. She wasn�t going to stay away for the sake of sensitive
society. She would stay away for the greater good.
God, that sounded corny even in her
head. She�d stay away to save a family, then. To do that, she was going to have
to take care of the pain and desire. That could easily be done with the help of
magic. Screw personal gain.
Paige considered the paper in her
hand, and then read the spell she had written. �My infinite realms of pain
contain a past of love I�ll not retain. Take the ache from my heart; let love�s
pain now depart.� Almost choking on the pain, she repeated, �Take the ache from
my heart; let love�s pain now depart.� Every part of her hoped that this would
work. She didn�t know what would happen if it didn�t.
- 5
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Sub Rosa