Destiny

She allowed herself all the forbidden thoughts she previously fought against. Trance…the love of her life. There wasn’t any obstacle on that path, she foolishly thought, she didn’t know that all would change. Talis didn’t have any worries with Trance’s love. The wonderful evening that she proposed as the sun set, should have been the best day of her life, Trance had other plans.

“I can’t accept Circe, it wouldn’t be right.” Trance said, with sadness in her voice.

“Why not?” she demanded, not willing to believe what she just heard.

“I only have a few weeks left here, and then I am needed in another place, another time.”

“Alright. It doesn’t explain your ‘no’ Tregee.” Talis said, trying not to cry. “I already know exactly what you are. I dreamed-walked and found you on the same star-dream. Why do you still say no?”

“I knew this day would happen, I went to see the S.O.O.T.R. I am not on your path, your Destiny, Circe. It will be wrong to pursue it further.” Trance said, holding back tears, trying to explain past the lump in her throat.

Talis stared at her, a mix of emotions swelling in her. After what seemed an eternity, Talis threw the first of what would be quite a few fits. “That isn’t right, nor fair. It is my life and I should be able to do with it what I like.” her hands clenched tightly into fists at her side.

“Yes but Gen-” Trance started to say, protested.

“I know! I know of Genesis and Enlanee. I haven’t forgotten my duties either. I should be able to have it all. Hell! They wrote and rewrote the laws so I could have it all! Destiny be and is damned!” Talis shouted, a little more then angry.

Talis stormed off leaving Trance with the beautiful pink crystal and ancient silver metal ring from the Dragon ship. Talis destroyed her quarters, having her Cabal squad watching in disbelief. As her anger continued, Talis stormed off to the S.O.O.T.R. They, her own people were not any help. They stood behind her written Destiny, knowing that this foreigner would alter their plans.

After a week of getting nowhere, Talis figured a way out to disobey her destiny. She had made plans to leave her home world and stay with Trance, unbeknownst to her. A few days before Trance was to leave, she told her and watched with disbelief as her loved one threw her own fit.

“There is no way you are going with me, Circe.” Trance said, a little more blunt then she meant it to be.

“Why not? I want to be with you always.” Talis said, pouring out her heart.

“Your destiny, your life is here! I’ll be double-damned to alter that. This world will need you and your contributions. I won’t take you away from that.” Trance said firmly.

“You can’t stop me. I am going.” Talis said, determination on her face.

She forced Trance in an awkward position. The last week drew closer; Trance appeared to be settling on Talis’ decision, until the day of their departure.

“My love, you will stay here. You cannot go where I go. I will always love you.” Trance said, lightly touching her cheek.

They embraced, Talis crying, knowing this is the end of their two-year relationship.

“May the universe love be always with you, and ‘fortune favours the foolish.’ Good-bye.” Trance faded from the spot.

Talis walked solemnly towards her quarters. The stunned and shocked look upon her face stopped many people whom she passed by from chatting. Quietly the door slid and closed behind Talis; her unoccupied quarters as she sagged against it. Slowly she slide down its length giving into the emotions she had been holding bach. She screamed long and loud, not caring if she was heard. “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

She beat against the silent door with her fists. “Gods…no…Trance…Please!” she sobbed and begged to the universe, hoping against hope that the universe…the powers that be, destiny, hell; maybe even Trance herself, would somehow hear her plea and return to her.
Nothing happened and Talis grew angry. She pulled herself up off the floor and began to trash her room. Her own life wasn’t without scrutiny and some one had been carefully noting her relationship with Trance. Guessing or even witnessing the final act; they…whomever, knew her or at least heartache; anything of value and all of her knives had ‘disappeared.’

Talis ripped, shredded, and smashed everything in her room while yelling, screaming, cursing and crying until she finally exhausted herself. Falling onto her wreaked bed; she slept in the blackest void she would begin to know personally.

Several hours passed before Talis awoke. Bleary-eyed, she hauled herself into the water closet, ignoring the pain in her hands and the loud grumbling in her belly. The pain in her heart was louder. She turned on the light and shielding her eyes with her forearm; Talis swayed in the doorway for a few moments, when she felt she had her bearings again, she went to the sink, turning on the water and splashing the cool liquid against her face. She stared at her face in the mirror. The puffy eyes and mottled skin were not her best feature nor was the mused hair. She looked down at her bruised and aching hands. She sighed in spite of herself; turning to leave when her quarters’ bell rang….and rang….and rang.

She had forgotten to leave a message for her squad that she would be ‘unavailable’ for sometime. The insistent person continued to ring, but she ignored it. She looked around at the trashed room, sighing again ‘what the hell now’? her thoughts were interrupted.

“Talis, its Tenc. Are you there? ” came over the voice recorder. “You didn’t leave notice on your where abouts. Talis, you in there? You’ve missed an exercise session…that’s very unlike you. We have a few hours before our next assignment. Nothing hard, a few days at Quela Minor. Just some security work for Plenipotentiary Zanzu. I think she fancy’s you; asked for you and your squad personally…even came by to make sure the orders didn’t get screwed up.” Tenc chuckled, “Alright then, don’t know where you could be…maybe with that lovely Trance Gemini perhaps?” Talis could hear Tenc grin. “Well, hopefully you’ll either contact us or listen to your messages. Next assignment starts at an evil oh-four-thirty. See you there.” Tenc' voice stopped as did the ringing.

Talis knew she had to pull herself together if she was to proceed with this assignment. She checked her personal computer and there was the orders, exactly as Tenc said, not that she would doubt him. Talis sank onto the floor since all her furniture was broken. The ringing started again. ‘Why can’t they just leave me alone?’ she thought to her self.

“Talis, its Rel. I just talked to Tenc. He can’t find you. Let me in….please, I can help.” Rel’s voice cracked before he cleared it and began again, softer this time, “Please Circe, let me help, let me in.” There was something in his voice… a warmth, an understanding that made Talis cry again, she rose and walked acrossed the medium-sized room, to press the button to let Rel in.

“Anic….she left me, she left this world.” she cried harder and fell into his arms. Rel held her, rubbing her bach, carefully walking into her room.

“Alright….shhhhh….let me help you, tell me.” Rel crooned as he hugged and cradled the Shadowrychë. Talis explained the past few weeks to Rel while he continued to hold her.

“I am very sorry Circe, I don’t know what else to say. Its devastating news. I’m here for you.” Rel said softly.

“Just hold me.” she asked, sinking closer to him.

“Okay except for just one thing.” he reached over and grabbed the first piece of fabric he saw, “Now blow your nose!” she nodded and complied. “Thanks.” she said, giving him a watery grin, “We have an assignment. I don’t know how I will make it thru it.”

“You will with my help. First we don’t have a lot of time. You need to do a bit of packing…I can see that will take more time than normal. Then we need to get you a bit ‘wired’.”

“ ‘Wired’?! You know I don’t take any thing like that." She protested as she began to look for her military bag.

"I know, we are gonna have to ‘damper’ your world, your aura, your feelings…enough so that you can function without falling apart. After this faction THEN you can fall apart…if you want to.” he smiled at her, she returned it.

“Thanks Anic.” Talis said, smiling.

“Don’t thank me now, thank me later.” he winked at her.

She chuckled, “Alright.” They began to repack Talis’ bag--clothing, first aid kit, a small supply of meds, a few assortment of her favourite weapons.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The assignment went well with no problems, none were expected. Rel kept a closer eye on Talis when they were in transit bach to their home world, the ‘wiring’ passed thru her system causing Talis was grey in the face and sick to her stomach.

“Rel, I can’t continue on. I’ve gotta-” She ran to the nearest water closet; emptying her stomach.

“Here, some plain chamomile tea to ease your stomach and crystal ginger…your own remedies for the last time the Cabal’s came down with the ‘grip’ after that last celebration.” Rel said, handing her the tea.

She smiled at the memory, “Thanks. I remember.” She drank some of the tea and chewed on the ginger. “I’ve gotta get some rest Rel.” Again she ran to the water closet. After Talis emptied her stomach, Rel held a cool clothe to her forehead.

“Listen to me, you're gonna have to pull yourself together for the debriefing before you can get bach to your quarters. Can you do that?” Rel asked her, looking at her.

“I’m not sure. Lets keep going with the tea and ginger. Then we’ll see what happens; we have some time before the D.B.”

Talis continued to hold down the tea and ginger until they landed. As the Cabal squad made their way to the D.B, again Talis emptied her stomach.

“I don’t know if I am going to make it Rel.” Talis said, feeling as terrible as she looked.

“I know this is crazy but work with me, okay? I need you to go bach into the W.C. and do a handstand against the wall. The blood will rush to your head and you will get dizzy. After your head clears, you’ll be ‘on’ and be able to get thru this last bit.” Rel said to her.


She complied and after falling over a few times and a wave of nausea hit her, she indeed was ‘on’. The briefing went on as normal. Rel and Talis afterwards went to Talis’ quarters.

“I’m gonna be sick again.” she ran for the W.C. Rel sighed, he knew very little of Shadowrychë physiology. All of his knowledge came from Talis herself, he knew to ‘wire’ her was wrong but how else was she gonna complete the assignment? There were vague rumours to ‘dampening’ one’s aura--again with drugs. He didn’t want that for Talis and he knew it went against Talis’ principals.

“You need to shower, eat and sleep Talis. I’ll make you some soup. I know your fave and its mine, so no problems there.” Rel talked to the closed door. When he heard the shower run, he went to his own quarters to get everything he thought he would need, taking a last look around him, he left his quarters. After taking a few steps towards Talis’ room, he doubled bach and left an auto message of R and R of unknown destination with vague reminders of his return. All would assume he was off with some female company. He then turned towards Talis’ quarters. The shower was still running when he returned.

"Talis, you okay? You need anything?” He asked from the other side of the door.

“No, I’m fine.” she walked out wrapped in a towel. “I just need to sleep. Where are my clothes?” She asked, looking around.

“Do you want any tea or ginger?” Rel asked her.

“A little.” Talis said, as he handed her some.

Talis drank her tea while Rel found her clothes. “Talis, you look flushed. What’s going on? Do you know? I am gonna take your temperature.” Rel said as he took something out of his stuff.

“Not a clue. I need to sleep.” she said, as she put on her sleepwear in the W.C. After she came out, Rel held his med scanner over her head and chest until it beeped. “Your temp is 110 degrees Talis, that’s abnormal for you. Your running a fever.” he said as he touched her forehead.

Talis staggered towards the bed and gave a low groan. “I don’t feel good Anic, help me to bed.” he did just that. Later that night, Talis started with the sweats and the hallucinations. Rel kept her as comfortable as possible with cool clothes on her forehead, as he washed down her thinly clothed body. The room’s fan already stirring the air. As the day marched on, Rel grew increasingly worried about Talis. She would hallucinate and talk out loud, tossing and turning in her sleep or be vaguely conscience of her surroundings; talking and crying about Trance. The worse of it is when she would be deadly calm and sit up and rock with unseeing eyes.

A few more times she grew hysterical and trashed the room until she exhausted herself. Her fever never abated, she would eat very little and her skin tone and mask became grey. Her hair knotted and lacked its healthy sheen. She was losing weight. Rel, in the third week, put in an request to her mentor Maarten, and the Shadow Order Of The Rychë on the planet Alaris, detailing what was going on. So far, no response except the automated one of ‘his away on a personal retreat and will be bach later. Upon his return he will deal with requests.’

He had no idea what else he could do for Talis that he wasn’t already doing. His routine became of sleeping with Talis, spooning and holding her in his sleep, waking when the night sweats came, calming her down before returning to sleep, trying to feed her some soup. When she was lucid, getting her to shower, changing the sheets, making the bed, holding Talis while she sobbed her heart out; all the while, he was aching with her; on her pain. In the end, both became dependent on each other. He instinctually knew the worse was yet to come. Talis had a habit of keeping her moon-time charted; in the next few days were to be her red moon-time, with right now being pink moon-time…a crazy insane chemically imbalanced time. She had a cupboard shelf of mineral, vitamins and supplements but he didn’t know what combos worked for her….hell, he couldn’t even get her to eat properly. Sure enough; a few nights later, he woke up to a trembling and sweating Talis.

“No Trance no, don’t leave me, please I’m begging you. Come bach to me, I love you, whatever it is…we can work it out….Nooooo!” Talis screamed in her sleep.

“Circe. Circe its okay, I’m here. Its Anic.” he crooned, holding her, and stroking her damp hair.

“Why did she leave me? What did I do that was so wrong. Was it me? I gave everything I am in our relationship. WHY? Was there something I could of changed? Somebody tell me the why’s of it all. Why wasn’t I enough?” she asked between sobs.

“I don’t know Circe. You know how destiny is. Trance had to go and fulfill hers. You loved each other so intensely it was a tangible thing; not many have had not many have had that. All I can tell you is you will live thru this, it takes time.” Anic said with a soothing tone.

“I want it over, I feel so foolish. I gave everything that I am. I went against my fundamental training and completely trusted this person. I showed her a side of myself that I normally hyde and protected. I showed a vulnerable side, a sensual female side.” she said as she cried harder.

“I know Circe. I saw just how relaxed and soft you were, it’s a pretty remarkable thing. I’m here for you Circe.” he caressed her cheek with his strong warm hand. He looked into her wet dark eyes, watching the tears run tracks down her face; she returned the look. Talis always liked Anic. He has the bluest eyes this side of an ocean, no hint of any other colour. His beard and eyebrows a little darker than the strawberry blonde hair on his head.

Talis tilted her face up, expressing her desire for a kiss; it caused Anic to nearly stop breathing…he never imagined that Talis would want him in any sexual way. He leaned down to capture her full lips with his own. A soft, gentle kiss that was shared between them before they broke apart; him pulling bach from her face.

“Anic.” she sighed as she reached up to thread her hands thru his hair. Bringing his mouth upon hers, deepening the kiss, Anic carefully slid his tongue across her closed lips until Talis parted them, allowing the teasing appendage in. They both moaned at the pleasantness of the caressing. Talis slipped her hands underneath Anic’s soft undershirt while he slid his tongue out and began to nibble on her neck. She stroked the crisp chest fur, marveled in the different textures she couldn’t imagine. Anic cupped one of Circe’s clothed breasts, running his thumb over her aroused nipple, she couldn’t hold bach the groan even if she wanted to. With her heart and her breathing racing thru her body, as she returned her mouth to his for more kissing. Circe' hands began to explore Anic’s chest then his stomach, she let out a squeal of joy against his mouth when she found his happy trail.
Stroking his belly and the fur left the Shadowrychë wanting more.

“Please Anic.” she begged as she tried to slip her hand underneath the tight waistband of his sleep trousers, “I want you. Please….I want you inside of me.”

With that simple statement, somehow got thru Anic’s lusty conscience. He gathered Circe into his arms, hugging her tightly trying to draw some air deep enough in his clogged lungs.

“We can’t Circe, we can’t. It would be wrong, its not right. Please forgive me. We can’t.” he tried to explain while his body felt as if it was on fire, his cock ached in its readiness. He waited until Circe had calmed down and could process able thoughts, she shuddered when she could.

“Look at me Circe,” she drew bach, across her face was a blush that could be seen even thru the mask or because of it; he didn’t know but understood her embarrassment. "I’m not saying no to you Circe, I’m saying no to the current situation. The timing isn’t right. You are sick, your heart has been broken, when its right…we’ll both know it and then, it will happen.” he explained as she blushed harder.


“I know its been a long time since any man has moved me to desire him. There has been passing fancies with some but not enough not like you Anic,” she caressed his cheek and changed the subject. “I am hungry. Could I have some soup and tea?” she said as she smiled at him.

“Oui, oui bien sûr.” They both grinned at the usage of the ancient languages they both enjoyed. He untangled himself from the covers and from Circe. She laid bach down on the bed, watched as the six foot man walked across the room into the dinning area. Taking a few deep breaths, she released them slowly. ‘I didn’t know I had it in me.’ she said, chuckling to herself…‘MMMMmmmm Anic Rel, more than a passing fancy.’


He returned with some soup and tea for both of them, before she could finish any other thoughts. They sat on the bed and ate the small nutritious meal. He could see that her energy was slowly draining from her, her face took on its abnormal flushed state before she reached the end of her bowl of soup.


“In the next few days, I’ll need to go out and restock our supplies. This room needs to be cleaned and aired out. I’m thinking, that you can stay in my quarters while I do the errands. What do you say to that?” Rel asked, looking at her.


“That’s fine Anic, you know what’s best.” She said, finishing her tea before going off to brush her teeth. Anic seized upon the quiet moments to quickly change the sheets before her return.

“Your hair has come out of its braid, let me brush it and re-braid it before bed.” Rel said with a smile.


She sleepily agreed. Anic unwound the tie from the end of her hair, and gently he ran his fingers thru the dark strains to separate them. With her bach pressed against his chest, Anic proceeded to brush thru the silky mass.


“MMMmmm feels wonderful.” Circe said, closing her eyes. Anic could feel the rise in temp and the relaxed sleepy state coming on to Circe, he quickly finished braiding her hair.

Circe crawled into the sheets, yawning and snuggled her body against his; he took note of her glassy eyes before she closed them. He waited a few minutes more before slowly sliding away from Circe. Picking up the discarded dishes; he quickly washed them, drying and putting them away in the cupboard. He made a list of supplies needed and what errands that needed to be done.
He wanted to do the items in the shortest amount of time. He had this feeling of dread and of a time change pressing upon him. Not knowing what outcome or exactly what to do about both, he returned to be so that he could stretched his long lanky muscular legs. Anic knew he wasn’t tired and that sleep wouldn’t be upon him for a few hours yet. Exactly what to do with his time, quandred the Ou’kaourian.

There were some holo-novels he could read, look up his mail and messages on Circe’s computer, even check-out some shopping; both he and Circe enjoyed the archaic ‘comic books’, films etc.


All the while lying close to the Shadowrychë, his habitual gaze fell up Circe, noting she was sleeping comfortable at this moment. Getting an idea, he took used Circe’s minicomputer into bed with him. It wasn’t hard to crack Circe’s password….if one REALLY knew her and her tastes; the password came from an old program---‘trust no1’….he chuckled, enjoying Circe’s sense of humour.


Anic went to a search engine and looked up all available information on the Shadowrychë. He knew the basic history, since it is entwined with the Ou’kaourians. He knew briefly of their physiology…as much as any non-Shadowrychë did; he had figured, as time progressed and they felt comfortable realizing, they would expand on the Shadowrychë’s capabilities. He clicked the link on their laws.

As of this date, they had some uncommon laws that puzzled him. He opened the file on marriages; apparently, its pretty easy, he thought, if two Shadowrychë wanted to marry. Some paperwork, interviews, setting up a household, and after the second schooling and they had to be in or going into their professions. It got a bit less complicated when a third Shadowrychë joined a house.

He looked at the thread for non-Shadowrychë: paperwork, interviews and the rest for one Shadowrychë and one non…there was the added bonus of a wait period as little as three months and as long as several years, all depending on the Shadowrychë. Anic decided to see what the requirements would be for him and Circe. She had her own folder. He was blown away ...there was a waiting list of twenty years!

Wait, it wasn’t that long, as a non-Shadowrychë and first male…fifteen years as second non-Shadowrychë and male…twenty! He shook his head, apparently as a non-Shadowrychë female…..five years from today’s date, fifteen for a second non-Shadowrychë female. Who wrote and decided this stuff?

Ahhhh, there was the folder with all the answers….‘Destiny’.