SAVING GRACES

Chapter Six



He was quiet on the walk back to the SUV. He sat in the passenger seat, and turned to Olivia as if he just realized she wasn’t Alex. “Sorry…habit…”



“It’s ok,” she said. “I don’t mind driving. Could you call in?”



He flipped open his cell as Olivia started the car. “Eames,” he said.



“Bobby…How was the interview?” Alex asked.



“Olivia may have gotten something from Tony Genoa’s sister…The name John Bertelli…He’s a cop with the…” Bobby glanced at Olivia.



“Westchester County,” Olivia said.



“Westchester County,” Bobby told Alex. “He’s Tony Genoa’s uncle…There’s something familiar about his name…We’ve got a photo of him with Tony…”



“Got it…We’ll check it with our lists.” Alex didn’t try to hide her concern. “You ok?”



“I…I talked with Tony’s mom…She…It was tough,” Bobby admitted.



In the driver’s seat Olivia thought, “That’s one of the understatements of the year.”



“But…I’m ok,” Bobby continued.



“Ok…You take care of yourself,” Alex said gently. “Munch is insisting on bringing in Italian for dinner.”



“Thanks, Eames.” Bobby shut his phone. He pulled the photo from his binder and studied it. It showed a lanky boy with a shock of black hair proudly holding a trophy. He stood in front of a man in a grey police uniform who stood stiffly at attention and looked admiringly at the boy. But there was something disturbing in the man’s attention.



“Possessive,” Bobby murmured.



“What?” Olivia said.



“Beretti…in this photo…He looks possessive…Almost as if he owns Tony,” Bobby said softly.



Silence filled the car for several moments. “Did Mrs. Genoa mention she had another son?” Olivia asked tentatively.



Bobby looked up from the photo in some surprise. “No…Where is he?”



“Sophia told me about him…Younger than Tony…Older than her…Named Paulie…”



“Let me guess…” Bobby said sadly. “He tried to take the place of his brother…”



“Yea,” Olivia said.



“So…was it drugs? Did the streets get him?”



“He…he jumped from a bridge,” Olivia said softly, wishing she hadn’t brought up Paulie.



Bobby winced. “Yea…Suicide…That’d be another possibility.” He stared out the car window. “Mrs. Genoa didn’t even have any photos of him…or of Sophia…Everything was Tony…”



Another silence descended in the car. Olivia felt exhaustion coming in waves from Bobby. “You can grab some sleep…”



“For about ten minutes…” Bobby shook his head. “But we are going by my apartment…If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to grab a change of clothes…If…if it’s not too much trouble…” He looked at her shyly.



“If I can get the same privilege,” Olivia said lightly.



“You don’t have to hunt for a parking place,” Bobby said. “Not that you’d find one…If you just pull around the block, I’ll be back down…”



He was waiting for her when Olivia brought the car around. A garment bag hung over his shoulder.



“That was quick,” Olivia said admiringly. “Elliott’s never waiting for me when I pick him up. ‘Course, he does have kids impeding his progress.”



A smile hinted on Bobby’s face. “I keep a bag ready,” he said. “I usually have one at Major Case…but…I’ve been away…” His voice faded.



“I head about your mom,” Olivia said carefully. “I’m sorry.”



He stared at the dashboard for several minutes, and she feared she’d crossed some invisible line.



“Thank…thank you,” he said.



At her apartment Olivia boldly parked the SUV in a “No Parking Zone.” “I’m not as ethical or organized as you,” she said as she placed a police id tag on the dash. “Come on up…It’s going to take me a few minutes…And I think it’s reasonably clean.”



She smiled warmly at him, and Bobby felt oddly happy.



He briefly considered staying in the car to study the materials in his binder, but Olivia’s generosity and his own need for a break led him to follow her. Her apartment was small, neat, and welcoming, but showed signs that in recent days Olivia had used it largely for sleep and not much of that. He hesitated shyly in the doorway.



“Come on in,” she said. “There’s nothing to bite you. I think there’s some iced tea in the fridge…Some wine…” She pointed to the tiny kitchen. “And you’re welcome to anything you can find in the fridge.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I’m going to grab a shower with my own stuff.”



“Ok,” Bobby said. “It’s going to take a while to run Bertelli’s name through the system…and there’s always the possibility he’s just Tony Genoa’s uncle and nothing more…”



Ignoring the offer to ravage her refrigerator, Bobby sat on her couch and examined her apartment. There were books—not as many as he possessed, but very few places outside of bookstores and libraries contained as many books as Bobby’s apartment—and many of the titles demonstrated connections to her profession, but Bobby also noted several dealing with alcoholism and the children of alcoholics. There were few photos—more than Bobby had, but nearly everyone’s home contained more photos that Bobby’s apartment—and most showed Olivia with other cops, but a handful showed a young Olivia with a woman whose eyes and nose and mouth were strikingly similar to the younger woman’s. “Her mom,” Bobby thought. There were signs of strain in the older woman’s face, a sense that she looked older than she was. There was no sign of a father, and Bobby wondered if Olivia’s apparent interest in alcoholism and the children of alcoholics was more than academic. “None of your business, Goren,” he thought and leaned back against the couch. “But it’d explain some of her sensitivity…her watchfulness…her wanting to help everyone.” He smiled wryly. “And all of that could describe you.” He closed his eyes.



Olivia threw a change of clothes into a duffle bag and tossed it on her bed. She wasn’t in the habit of taking a shower with a strange—or at least relatively unknown--man in her apartment, but Bobby Goren inspired a rare sense of security in her. She shed her clothes and stepped into her shower; the cool water sloughed away the day’s dirt and anxiety. “I like him,” she thought as the water flowed over her body. “I like Bobby Goren. He works hard…He doesn’t grab things out of the air…He listens…He cares…God, he’s having a rough time…” She shut off the water and vigorously dried her body. She dressed quickly and entered the living room.



“Ok, Bobby,” she said as she fixed an earring. “Let’s…” Olivia paused at the sight of Bobby sprawled across her couch. He was asleep, his long eyelashes fluttering, and he looked terribly young and vulnerable. Olivia smiled, and involuntarily her hand reached out to brush his curls. He stirred and turned his head into her touch. “He trusts me,” she thought, and her heart filled with a sudden and inexplicable joy. She sat heavily in the chair opposite the couch; Bobby shifted in search of her touch. “No,” Olivia thought. “No…There hasn’t been enough time…I don’t know him that well…I’m not a teenager…Not another cop…Not THIS cop…Not now…There’s got to be someone in his life…He’s kind…smart…funny…sweet…He’s not bad-looking…No…He’s just buried his mother…” She put her head in her hands and stared at Bobby. “He has a reputation…But so do I…” She rubbed her eyes. “There’s no ring on his finger…From what Alex has told me, there isn’t anyone…Except Alex.” Olivia smiled wryly. “Just like me with Elliott.”



Her cell phone rang, and Bobby stirred fitfully. Olivia walked quickly to her bedroom and checked the number. “Elliott,” she answered.



“Liv…where are you guys?”



“My apartment,” Olivia answered, reluctant to tell her partner that Bobby Goren was also there. “I wanted to grab a change of clothes.”



There was a pause, and Olivia felt Elliott’s disapproval through the phone.



“So, is Goren dazzling you with his knowledge of some insect’s mating habits?”



Anger flared in Olivia. She knew that Elliott was only slightly annoyed, that he was joking, but she felt oddly protective of Bobby. Elliott hadn’t seen Bobby’s gentle handling of Mrs. Genoa or his obvious pain at the Genoa family’s destruction.



“If you really want to know,” Olivia said in a coldly controlled voice. “He was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch. Not that he’s done much except make this case.”



Another pause followed. “Liv…I’m sorry…I know what he’s done…” Elliott was genuinely sorry. “I didn’t mean to insult Goren.”



Olivia calmed. “I know, Elliott. I’m sorry for jumping down your throat…It’s just…He’s really bright, but he works really hard too…He was terrific interviewing the kid’s mother.”



“Liv,” Stabler said. “You’re not falling for this guy?”



The anger flared again. Elliott was using his best—or worst—big brother tone. He was trying to protect her, and she wasn’t in the mood or need of protection.



“He’s a cop…and a good one…I’m just helping him out.”



“Ok,” Elliott said in a tone that indicated he certainly didn’t think it was ok. “He’s helped us…Bertelli…He’s connected to all of the leagues where the disappeared boys played…We’ve found photos of him presenting trophies to a couple of them.”



Olivia’s grip on her phone tightened. “Goren’s right.”



“Yea…He’s been right about everything…But there’s nothing else to connect Bertelli…It could be coincidence…But we’re going to keep looking.” Elliott’s tone became apologetic. “I’m sorry, Liv…I know Goren could use the rest, but we could really use both of you…”



“We’ll be there in an hour or so…”



“Right…Just a warning…Munch is apparently bringing samples of most of Mama Leoni’s menu.”



Olivia clicked shut her phone and tried to fathom why Elliott’s comments had angered her. “Maybe,” she thought. “Because there’s truth to them…”



A choked cry from the living room broke in on her thoughts. She quickly walked into the room and discovered Bobby twisting on her couch.



“No,” he muttered. “Don’t hurt her…Don’t…”



“Bobby,” Olivia said softly. “Wake up…It’s a nightmare…”



“No…no…Let her go…Please let her go…”



“Bobby.” She spoke more urgently. “Please. Wake up…”



“No…no…I’m not…I’m not like that…”



“Bobby.” Olivia knelt by the couch. “Please…Wake up…”



“No!” Bobby shouted and shot up. He sat for several moments, shaking and staring wildly around him. Dizziness and nausea swept over him, and he fell back against the couch.



“It’s all right,” Olivia said gently. She tentatively touched his arm. “You’re in my apartment. You fell asleep.”



Her voice soothed and comforted him. Bobby blinked. “I…I…” He swallowed; he was terribly thirsty.



“I’ll get you some water.” Olivia started to stand, but Bobby clutched at her hand.



“No…please…”



Olivia looked in his eyes. She’d never seen such need and want in anyone’s eyes. Certainly no man had ever looked at her with such vulnerability; it produced a strange and thrilling sense of power in Olivia. She couldn’t hold his gaze and looked away.



“I…I’m sorry.” Bobby stared at his hands. “I…I have bad dreams…” He struggled to sit up. Olivia reached to help him, but he stiffened when she touched him.



“Please.” She took a deep breath. “I…I have bad dreams too.”



He looked at her; this time she met and held his gaze.



“Your Mom or Dad? Or both?” he asked gently. At her surprised look, he waved his hand. “The books…”



She carefully sat next to him on the couch. “My mom…was an alcoholic.”



She took his hand, and her soft strength thrilled him.



“My Mom…” He wondered why he not only trusted her but felt the need to confess to her. “My Mom was schizophrenic…”



They moved closer to each other.



“I…” Olivia tried to understand why she trusted this man, why she felt she could reveal so much to him. “My mother…I never knew my father…because my mother was raped.”



Bobby jerked in surprise, then moved as if to hug her. “I…I’m sorry…I don’t…” he stuttered.



Olivia reached for him, and they fell into each other’s embrace.



“Please,” she whispered into soft, rich fabric of his suit jacket. “Don’t tell me how it explains everything…”



“I won’t.” His voice was a gentle rumble in her ear. “Because it doesn’t…It may explain some things, but not much and certainly not all.”



He was big and warm and kind, and she marveled that a man could be so vulnerable and strong.



“It doesn’t explain everything about you any more than my Mom explains everything about me.” Olivia sensed Bobby spoke to himself as much as he did to her. She hugged him tightly. They held each other for several minutes.



“Olivia…I…I’m not sure what’s happening here,” Bobby admitted. “And it’s happening so fast and at such a bad time.”



“Yea,” she agreed. “I…I’m not used to this. I don’t fall this fast.”



“You…fallen…for me?” he wondered.



“Why should that surprise you?”



“It’s just…that…” Bobby brushed his lips across her hair. “You’re…wonderful…and I’m…me.”



Olivia smiled. “You’ve shown signs of being pretty wonderful yourself.”



His face dropped, and he gently released her. “You…don’t know me…I…I…”



“I know you about as well as you know me,” Olivia said. It was a new and disconcerting experience for her to try to convince a man of his worth.



He stood and turned away from her. “I…this is such a terrible time,” he whispered. “I…”



Olivia stood. “Not a good time,” she agreed. “My experience is that things like this always pick the wrong time, if there’s any choice in it.” She studied Bobby’s broad back. She sensed that he had, with great effort, opened up a great deal to her, and the cost was becoming clear. “Listen,” she said in a voice that stunned her in its calm. “Right now we’ve got this case…We deal with, and we see what happens, ok?”



Bobby turned to face her. “Ok…but…” he said sadly. “It’s not going to be easy.”



“I know,” Olivia said. “I know.”



END Chapter Six



Yes, I know it might be early for Bobby and Olivia to be making such confessions, but they wanted to.