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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2	By : keithcompany Category: G through L > Land of the Giants Views: 1504 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Land of the Giants show, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
(A meal at the home of Vertag’s family. The table would seat about eight giants. Right now, Vertag, Mom, Dad and Jegretz are eating. A field chair and table set sits at a corner between Vertag’s place and Mom’s, Perez eats with the family. They eat silently. Bite, chew, make eye contact, nod, smile. Unspoken communication rings the table. Perez eats, eyes darting back and forth. It seems that every time she looks at a giant, they’re looking at her. They do not look away, though, when caught. After a while, Mom breaks the silence)
Mom: (Nodding to Perez) No cage?
Vertag: No, Mom. No cage, no leash. No shackles, no box, no carrier, no mesh bag, no paper sack, no butterfly net. (Silence for a while, Perez just looking down at her plate.)
Mom: It’s only, so broke up when Sandy ran away.
Vertag: Wasn’t broke up.
Perez: Sandy? That’s a human name?
Jegretz: Was Earther pet.
Perez: Oh, that’s right. (frowns)
Vertag: Wasn’t pet! (puts down spoon, turns to Perez fully) Found a hurt human. Took her to my room. Put a splint on her leg, took care of her. When she could walk well enough, she went back to her people.
Dad: Broke his heart.
Vertag: Didn’t! I was worried about her. She took off during rainy season. Pipes were full, coulda’ drowned.
Perez: (mischievous smile) Was she cute?
Vertag: She was human.
Jegretz: Was blonde. (hyper innocent:) This Crane diplomat. She’s blonde?
Vertag: I will kill you. (Shifts in his chair) Good snapper, Mom.
Perez: This is T-Rex? I mean, snapper?
Mom: (a little defensive) Yes?
Perez: Oh, no, I just meant, I didn’t recognize it.
Dad: Had snapper?
Perez: Vertag cooked some for the company, First-One Day or whatever?
Vertag: One-One-One Day.
Dad: Ah. Us, too.
Mom: This not same?
Perez: Oh. Um, no, it’s not the same. This is way better than the barbeque.
Mom: (smiles) Thanks. (picks up a serving platter) Have more.
Vertag: Mom! Eaten her share three time!
Mom: She’s skin and bone!
Vertag: She’s Earther!
Mom: Maybe Earth just undernourished people!
Dad: Calm. Both you.
Perez: Really, Mrs…um.
Mom: Mom.
Perez: Mom. Okay. But really, I’m beyond full. I won’t eat for three days. (Mom puts platter back, a little mollified) But, uh, if you could save some? My crew will be coming tomorrow. I know they’d enjoy a chance, if you have any leftover.
Mom: (very satisfied) Can always find feed for friends, Major. No fuss.
Dad: So. You work with Vert? (pan across table with serving vessels of food and fade out. Fade back in on empty plates and dishes. Perez has moved her chair and pantomimes being a driver. Mom, Dad and Jegretz smile, Vertag rolls his eyes as one heavily put upon)
Perez: So then, ten miles later, Vertag takes his foot off the gas. Cellste sits straight up and screams. No words, just screams. All us Earthlings on the seat between them jump up and ask what the hell he’s doing!?! You know? (listeners nod) He says, he’s uncomfortable leaving the cemetery with ghosts in it and thinks he should go back and sort things out. (They laugh, nod, as this is typical Vert behavior)
Jegretz: What did?
Perez: I pulled my gun and pointed it at his goddamned throat and said: Hey Giant! Drive to the city and no one gets hurt! (all but Mom laugh)
Mom: Would really shot my son?
Vertag: Yep.
Dad: Yep.
Perez: Yep.
Jegretz: Good.
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Roll Titles
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(Lobby of Exchange in Coastal City. Several SID minions wait in chairs, one behind Lessala’s desk. Lessala opens door to Vertag’s office, comes out with a notebook she refers to.)
Lessala: Okay. I just got off the human radio with Vertag, and he wants you guys-
Tettskin (guy in her chair): No you didn’t.
Lessala: What?
Tettskin: (dangles her stethoscope) Found this. Put it to good use. You were not talking to Senior Agent Vertag, who actually can order us around.
Lessala: (looks around the room) Whoops.
Tettskin: (drops stethoscope, puts feet on the desk) So. It’s no big thing to me, if you want to go on pretending to give orders, but we’re going to only pretend to obey them. Right guys? (minions nod, some enthusiastically, some not) I mean, I’m not taking any orders –
(Cut to the human surveillance tent. Techs look at each other as they hear)
Tettskin(voice): from a woman, unless she makes it worth my while.
Tech1: Should we….?
Peterson: (stepping across tent to take a chair next to the monitor) Get popcorn? Probably isn’t enough time. But call Brown.
(Back in the lobby)
Lessala: (Smiles and puts down her notebook) Tettskin! I can’t believe this!
Tettskin: Well, from where I sit…
Lessala: All this time you were interested in me, and you never said anything?
Tettskin: Well, I did try-
Lessala: Yeah. Right in front of Dordell, who also wants in my skirt. (steps over behind where Tettskin sits, leans down and kisses him)
Tettskin: Oh, yeah.
Lessala: (to the room) You guys wanna watch?
Tettskin: Huh?
Peterson: Oh, yeah. We’re recording, right?
Lessala: I’m just a little slip (slams Tettskin’s head onto her desk) of a girl. I couldn’t possibly (again) lead a group of intelligent, strong (grabs his flailing arms and folds them up behind him), highly trained individuals like yourselves.
Stogga: Lessala, should-
Lessala: That’s MISS Lessala (levers Tettskin up out of her chair by twisting his arms) to you.
Stogga: MISS Lessala. The fact is, Supervisor Dordell put us under Agent Vertag when-
Lessala: (rams Tettskin head-first into the security door. He drops) And Dordell is well aware that the Earthlings trust me a lot more than they trust any of you. If we’re going to make this work, and get promotions like Dordell already has, you’ll do it the way Vertag AND I have figured out. Any questions? Anyone want to ask Dordell in for a management seminar? (all shake their heads: no.)
Lessala: Okay. (Grabs notes. Points.) YOU are going to Mining Port. Pick up seven feral Earthlings from Central. (That agent departs) YOU two are going to evaluate the perimeter. Are there any holes in our coverage that a threat could penetrate? (gone) YOU take those two and search the area around the birthday party. Find any homeless guys and see if they found something, maybe half a hotdog or a slice of cake with all the frosting licked off. After that, survey the food dumpster messages. YOU (to Stogga, the last minion, looks down Tettskin) Call an ambulance. (turns and goes back into Vertag’s office. As she sits down, the SOG is clapping his hands.)
SOG: Loved it. What I could see of it, anyway.
Lessala: Thick as his head is, I’ll probably have a chance to do an encore. (Growls) It’s just so frustrating. You guys…
SOG: What?
Lessala: Well, I’ve gotten about 400 messages and letters from you guys. And girls, which is weird. But anyway, you guys say the sweetest things, about how pretty I am, and how I look in a skirt, and how much you liked how I kicked that guy’s ass when they tried to kidnap me, and how you like being stationed where I am. Really touching stuff, you know? (nods head towards door) This idiot doesn’t even buy me a dumpling, but expects me to jump his bones so that he’ll do the job he’s already been hired and ordered to do. Some days I could just…
SOG: Well, Miss Lessala, I am your biggest fan. If that’s okay to say.
Lessala: Aw. Thanks. (Blows him a kiss just as the phone rings) Coastal City Earthling Exchange, Agent Vertag’s Office, can I help you?
(Cut to a giant’s home. A family is eating breakfast. The little girl pushes the last little bit of each item to the middle of the plate)
Shallet: Can I be excused?
Mom: You’re not going to finish? It’s your favorite?
Shallet: I’m saving some for Stylenjanet.
Dad: Who is Stylenjanet?
Shallet: The women that live under my bed.
Mom: I thought her name was Keslous.
Shallet: MOM! Keslous was IMAGINARY.
Mom: Oh. Right. But Stylenjanet is…
Shallet: Real. And very tired and hungry and just want to stay under my bed for a few days if I don’t mind and they’ll give me a present later if I can wait.
Dad: Well. Of course. But be sure to clean up any food that Stylenjanet doesn’t eat.
Shallet: I will. (takes plate and leaves kitchen)
Mom: (raising eyebrows at Dad.) You’re just encouraging her.
Dad: She hasn’t got too many friends. If she invents an imaginary one…
Mom: One that promised her a present? What happens when Stylenjanet doesn’t come through?
Dad: Then she’ll have learned a valuable lesson. Get payment up front.
(In girl’s room, Shallet kneels beside the bed, Styles and Janet sit on the edge of the plate and eat.)
Styles: Oh, this is great, Shallet.
Janet: Mmm hmm. Thanks.
Shallet: You’re welcome. Are you two subersives?
Janet: Subversives? No, dear, we’re not.
Shallet: Only on the news they say that two subersives threatened to blow up an atomic at a kid’s birthday party.
(Styles and Janet look at each other)
Styles: It was a joke. No one laughed. Does your daddy ever tell a joke and mommy says it isn’t funny at all? In a certain tone of voice?
Shallet: (giggles) Yeah.
Janet: It was that kind of joke.
Shallet: Oh. Office humor.
Styles; Uh…yeah.
Janet: So, what do you want for a present, Shallet? Once we get back home and can send you something?
Shallet: I wanna be a princess!
Styles: Oh, my.
(Lessala walks across the compound to the Earthling building, waves at the guards, enters by the giant door. Inside, pulls a jammer out of her skirt and turns it on. Hers is trimmer than Vertag’s usual one, but effective)
(Cut to two of the SID minions in a second-floor office. Cameras and antennae point to the Exchange compound visible outside of the window)
Minion1: What the hey?
Minion2: What happened?
Minion1: I can’t hear her.
Minion2: What was she saying when she went silent?
Minion1: Nothing.
Minion2: So nothing changed.
Minion1: No, no, it’s a different sort of silence now.
Minion2: A different silence. You wanna log that, you get to explain it.
Minion1: Uh…
(Back in the Earthling building, Lessala kneels next to a tent. Adams and staff come out to talk to her.)
Lessala: Hey, guys. Um…Janet and Styles really screwed up.
Adams: The nuclear threat? It accomplished their goals.
Brown: I thought it was kind of cute.
Lessala: Yeah, so cute, the mayor is going nuts.
Adams: He doesn’t think the threat is real, does he?
Lessala: Word I got, he doesn’t really care. The people of Coastal City are terrified that there are Earthlings with atomics and they’re willing to use them.
Peterson: But…they don’t HAVE any nukes.
Lessala: I know that. You know that. But the guys writing the editorials in the paper don’t know that. They want Defense Force to sweep the compound for atomics.
Adams: Defense Force is 2^nd Nation’s security authority, right?
Brown: 1^st Nation won’t like that.
Lessala: Yeah, that’s the delay. Dordell and Jackala are both trying to stop it.
Adams: Jackala? He’s the police, right? He works for the Mayor.
Lessala: But he’s afraid of what will happen in the city if they DO find atomics. Riots are not good press for the police forces. Look, there isn’t much time. One way or another, someone is going to be coming in here.
Adams: And why are you telling us?
Lessala: (Shrugs) I’m sure you guys don’t have any atomics in here. But if you do have any technology that might set off a radiac, you should shield it or hide it. Okay? We wouldn’t want to complicate things by a false positive. (Big wink) But mostly you need to be prepared to have your people stand in a safety zone while giant idiots walk around waving detection wands.
Adams: Of course, Miss. We’ll be ready. Completely (stresses the word) ready.
Lessala: (winks, turns off the jammer) Colonel! I wanted to inform you, there are people trying to arrange an inspection of your areas-
(Shift to the SID observation office)
Lessala (voice): -here in the compound.
Adams (voice): Inspecting for what, Miss Lessala?
Lessala (voice): Oh, just a-
(Back to the EB)
Lessala: -Health, welfare, safety walkthrough sort of thing.
Adams: Well, we can have everyone into the safety zones in about ten minutes. So if we could get a head’s up?
Lessala: Oh, sure. I’m sure they’ll spend that long explaining the inspection to me.
Adams: Who will be doing it?
Lessala: Oh, that hasn’t been decided yet. Just wanted to be sure you weren’t caught too much by surprise.
Adams: We appreciate that.
(fade out, fade in on the Lobby. Lessala sits at her desk. Attaché Drury stands on her desk, three men in suits stand on the other side. Charity and her film crew are on Vertag’s desk, with a partially eclipsed view of events)
Suit1: It’s just that we noticed, well, no one’s had a good look at your set-up since you got here.
Drury: Are you kidding? Agents Vertag and Dordell have been in the compound almost daily.
Suit2: No one, that is, from us, your host nation.
Drury: We were under the understanding that SID represented our host nation.
Suit1: Politically, but not geographically.
(Cut to the Earthling Building. A black and yellow safety line surrounds a six-(human)-foot zone against the walls. Marines and a few civilians fill the area. A bus drives up and some men/women in casts or slings limp off and into the zone. Brown is the last man off the bus, activates his radio.)
Brown: Okay. Tell the Liaison we’re done.
(Back to the Lobby.)
Suit2: -matter of sovereignty! It’s a matter of the safety of our citizens!
Drury: Your citizens? We were given to understand it was a safety inspection for our benefit.
Suit1: Well, a-heh. Your safety is our safety, do you see? We’re all in this together.
Drury: Yes, I know the drill. War is Peace; Freedom is Slavery; Ignorance is Strength.
Suit2: Exactly.
(Drury rather obviously raises his hand to his ear)
Drury: Ah. Well, I suppose there’s no harm done by an inspection. The Marines have cleared some lanes through all the areas. I do have to insist that you stay on the clearly marked paths.
Suit3: You don’t insist, you little-
Suit1: Of course, we will stay on them. The paths will allow us to coordinate our efforts to avoid unnecessary harm. (this said as much to Suit3 as to Drury) Shall we?
(Lessala lifts Drury and opens the Security door. Suit1-3 enter, Lessala follows. Suit3 pulls a tube out of his jacket. It’s about the length of a magician’s wand, but fatter. He waves it around the passageway.)
(Back on the desk, Charity and crew spin and run for the elevator. The SOG stops them.)
Charity: Sergeant! We need to follow them!
SOG: Colonel’s orders, no one wanders around outside the safety zones once the giants pass the security door. This was explained in the brief.
Charity: Well, yeah, but that was no Marine will wander around. We’re not subject to your rules.
SOG: Maybe not, but the elevator’s turned off until the Colonel clears it. So No One is at risk from giants that aren’t really practiced at walking around humans. (Charity turns to the knotted string that hangs from a tack and reaches down to the floor)
Charity: Come on, guys!
Cameraman: I’m not getting stepped on so you can win an Irwin Award. (others agree, dropping the equipment to the desk. Charity sags)
(Suit3 waves his radiac briefly in the Tank Room. The caged humans watch, eyes wide)
Drury: So. This is a portable safety detector?
Lessala: Oooh. That would be handy to have. See, my sister’s a real klutz. If there’s an unsafe condition (the group departs, aims for the door out into the compound), she flies straight as an arrow for it. If she could wear a sort of safety detector on her belt, maybe she could get an audible warning before she picks up a hot-
Suit3: Shut her up. (outside, turns towards the EB)
Suit1: Miss, it’s not a safety detector. It’s a device for finding atomic weapons.
Drury: You have atomic weapons?
Suit2: Of course not!
Drury: Then how would you know if the detector works?
(The wall of the Earthling Building has been raised. Tents are laid out with clear zones for giants to walk in, all lined with black/white tape or paint. The Garrison appears to be entirely mustered along the wainscoting. Suit3 aims the wand at each and every tent, and the drain grating.)
Drury: Gentlemen, it seems to me that your general inspection is a more specific investigation.
Suit3: Shaddup.
Suit1: Actually, we are concerned about reports of threats with atomics.
Drury: Ah. Two desperate women pull a prank and you think we’re hiding weaponry that violates the treaties.
Suit2: Do you seriously perceive the use of atomics as a prank?
Drury: I think two Earthlings holding a giant family at bay with a pill bottle is a hilarious prank. (turns to face up to Lessala) I think you can put me down, Miss Lessala. Anywhere near the safety zone. We’ll wait patiently until these men satisfy themselves.
Lessala: Okay, Mister Drury. Do you want me to keep escorting them?
Drury: That would be nice. Make sure they don’t trip over a rock and accidentally shove a Hummer in their pocket?
Lessala: I can do that. (lowers Drury near Colonel Adams. The inspector finds nothing here, they continue outside then to the other buildings. Once they leave the Earthling Building everyone relaxes and returns to their tents.)
(We see the inspectors glancing askance at the targeting dummies (one of which is still smoking from the napalm practice), then going on and waving the wand at the gun emplacements on the walls and across the empty ground of the staging area.)
(Cut to the front door seen from across the street. The three Suits walk out. Lessala follows as far as the front door, waves them goodbye. They enter their car as she closes the door and returns to her desk).
(Cut to inside the lobby. Lessala locks the outside door and walks to the security door. Locks it, goes to Vertag’s office.)
(Cut to the top of Vertag’s desk. Charity and crew sprawl or sit around the SOG podium. Lessala sits at the desk)
Lessala: Okay, Sarge, they’re gone.
SOG: Yes, ma’am. (to podium) The giants have left the building. (Charity and crew scramble to their feet, aim equipment at the giantess)
Charity: Miss Lessala! Can we ask you some questions about the inspection that was just completed?
Lessala: Um… What do you want to know?
Charity: Well, what were they looking for?
Lessala: Their stated purpose was a safety and welfare inspection.
Charity: Whose safety? Whose welfare?
Lessala: Well, Coastal City’s of course.
(Elevator opens and Drury walks onto the desk)
Charity: Do you really think that their stated purpose was their real purpose?
Lessala: I, of course, have nothing but their word to go on. I have to believe my government is always sincere.
Charity: What about the liaison?
Lessala: Attaché Drury was diligent in protecting Earthling interests and individual safety. You can ask him if he thinks the government’s announcement was sincere.
Charity: Attaché?
Drury: (glances up at Lessala) I, uh, of course we do not need giant approval of our spaces or our operations, but it doesn’t hurt to abide the rare act of scrutiny for the sake of allaying suspicions.
Charity: Suspicions? So they were looking for something?
Drury: We believe that recent actions taken by Miss Crane may be worrying the local authorities. They inspected, they found nothing to worry about, they will relax.
Charity: But is there anything to worry about? (Drury pauses before answering, Lessala leans down)
Lessala: Just our cooking.
Charity: What?
Lessala: Well, Vertag’s cooking. You guys like snapper so much, you’re going to want to raise them here. That’ll be scary.
Charity: (laughs) Oh, I hardly think Jurassic Park would be a worry for the giants, Miss Lessala.
Lessala: You haven’t seen them skeletonize a badger. Okay, I have work to do. Everyone who can fit in the elevator, do so.
(News team and Drury leave. Just before he enters the elevator, he gives a nod to Lessala, she returns it)
(Cut to a tent, officer’s Mess. Adams and several senior officers are at the table, finishing dinner)
Brown: I don’t get Lessala.
Peterson: Well, you need a bouquet of flowers the size of a water tower, a box of chocolates the size of an Olympic swimming pool and a stepstool with about 70 steps. Ask real nice and you’ll get-
Grant (Chaplain from episode 1-17): That’s most certainly not what he meant. I mean, besides the moral problems, the physical differences would be grotesque.
Danner (Wiccan chaplain): (she smiles slightly) Oh, I don’t know.
Roth: You, my dear, love a challenge.
Danner: (she smiles wide) Don’t I just?
Brown: What I mean is, for weeks she and Vertag have treated the liaison like crap.
Peterson: Mostly because he isn’t Janet.
Brown: Right. But Charity shows up and she starts instantly treating him like a team member. What did he do?
Captain1: Well, he did do pretty well delaying the inspection.
Captain2: So we got everything shielded. He’s not my cup of tea, but he is decent enough at his job.
Brown: But she was nice to him before that.
Adams: It’s an easy enough answer, Fred.
Brown: Sir?
Adams: She wants to cooperate with our governments and get us off the planet.
Danner: With all our people.
Grant: And without throwing any nukes around.
Adams: Exactly. So, she’s showing cooperation. Plus, every form of media she’s familiar with is an arm of the government.
Brown: Ah! So she thinks that each interview is more of an Internal Review. I see. Then embarrassing Drury would embarrass all of us. That makes sense, now.
Adams: So, no one tell her anything different. At least not until either Charity leaves, Janet returns, or Drury is replaced.
Peterson: (raises drink) To all three!
Most: Hear! Hear!
(Cut to the end of the table where Drury sits)
Drury: You know I CAN hear all of this, right?
Peterson: Right. (all nod)
-------
Roll credits
- 5
- 6
- 7
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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2