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Pains Of The Heart	By : queenofthediamonddogs Category: M through R > Merlin (BBC) > Merlin (BBC) Views: 1731 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin and any recognisable characters. I am not making any money from this story

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Chapter 6 - Guilt

Something was different. Elaine felt something different. She could not remember much about the night before. A warm breath tickled the top of her head. Her head and hand resting on the bare chest of a man. She froze especially when she felt the man's fingers gently caress her naked back. She held her breath as she slowly turned her head upwards to see who the body belonged to. Her heart filled with warmth at the sight of a sleeping Lancelot but again she froze when she realised the situation they were in. Their naked bodies flush against the other. She wanted to pull away from him but being in his embrace was comfortable and right.

Her rich brown eyes watched him sleep. A strand of his hair rested across his forehead. Silently and carefully, Elaine raised her hand, that had been resting on his warm chest, and brushed the single strand away. She froze again when he stirred in his sleep at her touch. She tried to pull away but his arm was tight around her and he pulled her closer to him. “Lancelot?” She questioned in a whisper, thinking he was awake.

Slowly he awoke and his eyes focused on her, the same horror in his eyes. The horror of realisation about what had occurred between the two of them. “Oh no.” He whispered and slowly loosened his embrace on her. “Oh my Lady.” Shock, fear and confusion were the emotions which filled the young knight.

In embarrassment Elaine pulled her bed covers up to her chest, covering herself. “Lancelot, I am sorry. I do not remember what happened last night.” Silent and frightened tears fell down her pale cheeks. “I did not...” Her silent tears turned to sobs. Her body shook with fear of what he would say or do. “Lancelot please. I did not realise...” One hand covered her mouth as she sobbed while the other clutched the bed cover to her chest, covering her modesty.

“My Lady. Oh my Lady. I am so sorry. I could not stop myself. I should have stopped myself.” He sat up straight and shook his head in shame. “You are the King's niece!” He turned away from her. “I am so ashamed of myself.” Sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees and his face buried in the palms of his hands. He was so ashamed of himself that he could not even look at the woman, who he had also caused shame to.

Elaine watched him silently before moving across the bed with the bed cover still tight to her chest. With her free hand she placed it on his warm shoulder. “Do not blame yourself wholly. I was also to blame. I should have stopped us both but I did not have the strength nor the courage to say 'no'.” She gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Lancelot look at me.” He did not move. “Lancelot!” Speaking more stubbornly and commandingly and he raised his head to turn and look at her.

“I feel so ashamed.” He whispered, their dark eyes locking with each other. Tears began to form in both their eyes. Elaine remained silent but she moved forward and wrapped her arms tightly around him. Both of them crying as Elaine held the knight in her arms. They sat together, completely naked, with tears falling and their arms tight around each other.

In comfort Elaine kissed the top of Lancelot's head and gently rubbed his shoulder. “We shall have nothing to fear. I promise you.” He slowly turned his head to look directly at her. “I promise you Lancelot. All will be well.” Leaning forward and tenderly kissed his lips.

“Elaine.” He whispered as he pulled away, cupping her cheek with his hand. “Don't.” Closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly but he opened his eyes and fixed them upon her. He took deep breaths to control himself but his eyes constantly flickered to her lips. With his hand still cupping her pale cheek, Lancelot leant forward and kissed her. The kiss was not rushed but just a tender touch between two people.

“Lancelot.” Elaine whispered as she pulled away from his tempting lips. “It is early. Gwen shall be here soon to help with the morning.” Resting her forehead against his, their eyes closing at the touch and closeness of the other. Elaine bit her full lower lip as she moved away from him slightly, one hand still resting on his shoulder. Her heart skipped a beat when they locked eyes an neither of them were able to pull away from the other and they were soon repeating the actions from the night but this time they remembered everything.

- – - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Morgana smirked as she paused outside of Elaine's chamber door to hear soft sounds of two people speaking within. She knew the potion had worked and she knew that the beginning of Uther's downfall had begun. It was beginning with his precious niece. Elaine's shame would send Uther mad. He would probably feel like he failed her, failed to protect her. There was one thing which shocked Morgana. Within Elaine's chambers there was obvious noises of a couple consummating a relationship once again.

She quickly walked away in case someone saw her lingering outside Elaine's chambers. The news needed to be told to Morgause that the beginnings of Uther's downfall had already begun. She immediately returned to her chambers, making sure Gwen was not inside and sat at her vanity table. “Sister... I bring good news.” She whispered softly towards the mirror.

Morgause appeared with a smile playing on her lips. “I hope you do sister.”

“The potion worked. Lancelot bedded Elaine last night and by the sounds of it also this morning.” Her evil grin still spread across her face.

“Very good, sister.” Morgause gave a small laugh. “Next, you will need to be in complete confidence of Lady Elaine in order for her to break the news of her upcoming pregnancy.” Chuckling softly. “Give her the belief that you will keep her secret but eventually you will break the news to Uther.”

“Yes sister.” Morgana nodded and reached to pick up her brush. “Gwen should be here soon. Stay safe sister.” She began to pull the brush through her long dark locks when the door to her chambers opened. “Good morning Gwen.” Catching sight of her maid in the mirror.

“Good morning, my Lady.” Dipping into a curtsey and giving Morgana a broad smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes thank you Gwen.” Turning back to her own reflection to see her sister gone. “Is Lady Elaine awake yet?” Placing the brush on the table in front of her before rising.

“Not yet, my Lady. She said she did not wish to be disturbed this morning. She has a headache from drinking too much wine last night.” Gwen chuckled as she begun to make Morgana's bed.

- - - - - - - – - - - – - - - - -

The two lovers lay in Elaine's bed with their arms tight around the other, a layer of sweat covered their flush bodies. Their eyes were locked on the other and not speaking a word. The only sound in her room was their breathing. Elaine's head rested on his shoulder and his head rested on the pillows. He held her close, his arms wrapped tight around her, their legs tangled underneath a single sheet. The sheet only reached their waists.

Elaine raised her torso to rest her chin on her hands which lay on his chest. “What do we do?” Sighing softly, her warmth breath tickling his chest, making him smile a little. “What?” Mirroring his smile.

“Nothing.” He continued smiling. “You are so beautiful.” Lifting his hand and tucking a stray lock of her long hair behind her ear. She blushed softly and smiled gently. “I think we should wait. I am a commoner Elaine. We cannot marry.”

“Marry?” Her eyes went wide with shock at the word that has just left his lips. Elaine sat up straight and stared down at him in shock. “You wish to marry?”

“Elaine, what we have done should only happen between married couples. What if you fall with child? I will never let you be shamed in that way.” Lancelot also sat up and cupped her cheek. “I have feelings for you but I do not love you. I may love you in time.”

Elaine gave a small smile and leant forward slightly. “We do not need to marry.” Chuckling softly as she leaned into the comfort of his warm hand. “Though we do need to dress and help you leave here without being noticed.” Smiling gently as she rested her hand over his own. The two moved off the bed and dressed for the day. Elaine noticed the small blood patch on the bed, she bit her lower lip as she moved to her washing basin. Dipping the white cloth in the cold water and wiping the small amount of blood that had dried on her inner thighs. She winced slightly at the dull ache between her legs but the cool cloth seemed to ebb away the feeling.

“Elaine?” Lancelot asked quietly as he walked up behind her, wearing only his breeches. “Are you well?” He wrapped his muscular arms around her and he noticed the bloody cloth. “Oh! I am sorry. I should have told you.”

“I knew.” Elaine chuckled as she held the cloth. “How shall I hide it from Gwen?” Leaning back into his embrace.

“You could lie and say it was um... um... your.... monthly bleed.” He stuttered nervously as it was improper to talk about a woman's cycle. Elaine chuckled softly and he followed suit. “Sorry. It's the only excuse I could think of.” Bending his head down and kissing her bare shoulder. “You're cold. You need to dress.”

“Yes sir Lancelot.” She chuckled once more but the two remained in their position, with Lancelot's arms wrapped firmly around her and her free hand resting on his arm. “It is too comforting like this.” Chuckling quietly as the two enjoyed the feeling of being in the other person's arms. Elaine had the strength to move away from him. “We best hurry in case Gwen returns.” The two continued to dress in silence.

Lancelot was the first to be fully dressed. He watched Elaine dress with a small smile. She dressed in a lavender coloured dress with long sleeves. “You truly are beautiful.” Smiling softly as she pulled a brush through her long blonde locks.

Elaine chuckled softly as she placed the brush on the table and turned to face him. “You are truly handsome.” She smiled as she stood in front of him and brushed his shoulders of his shirt before letting them fall to her sides. “I will go and see if there are any servants or guards.” Giving him a small smile and moved around him towards the door.

“Wait.” He gently grabbed her upper arm and pulled her back to him, crushing his lips to her own. When he pulled away from her, she still had her eyes closed and was remembering the enjoyment of having his lips against her own. He gave a small chuckle. “Elaine.” He whispered softly. “You best go and be the look out.” He chuckled softly and let her open the door. Lancelot stood to the side, hidden behind the door as she put her head outside.

“It is safe to leave.” She spoke quietly as she stepped out into the corridor, Lancelot following close behind her. “You best go before you are seen.”

“Why?” He stood close to her with his hand resting on her hip.

Elaine rolled her eyes and took a step back from him. “Someone will see us together and will probably become suspicious. Especially since you are wearing the same clothes from last night.” A blush spread across her cheeks, her memory recalling the events of the morning and a vague memory of the night before.

“My Lady.” He bowed deeply and moved away from Elaine, not looking back as he turned a corner.

Elaine's heart fluttered as she watched him walk away. She sighed softly and turned away to walk to the great hall to break her fast. In the past week or two weeks, Elaine was afraid. She was afraid of being left alone. Afraid of being taken away from her family. Now it was different. She felt safe. Safe inside Camelot. Safe in the presence of her uncle and cousin. Safe in the arms of Lancelot.

“Are you blushing, cousin?” Arthur stood in front of her. “You are late rising.”

Elaine laughed lightly. “Too much wine last night.” Chuckling softly. “As for the blush, it is warm today.” Laughing lightly again. “Escort me to the great hall?” Holding her hand out towards her cousin. Arthur rolled his eyes and held out his arm towards her. “Thank you.” The two walked inside to find Uther and Morgana already seated and beginning their meal. “Good morning.”

“Good morning Arthur. Good morning Elaine.” Uther smiled as they walked to the table and took their places on Uther's left. “Did you both sleep well?”

“Yes thank you uncle.” Elaine smiled as she ate her small meal, avoiding the gazes from her uncle and Morgana. She felt like she was guilty. She felt like they knew what had happened last night with Lancelot and her. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes thank you child.” Uther smiled before turning to Arthur and the two began to speak about the patrolling of the borders. Elaine sat silently as she ate and drank.

Morgana watched Elaine. She could tell that the young blonde woman was feeling guilty. Morgana didn't care. She did not care if Elaine would have to face the consequences. As the consequences would bring about Uther's downfall. Elaine sat nervously as she ate, still avoiding anyone's gaze. “Elaine, would you join me on a ride this afternoon?” Morgana suggested. “We have barely spent any time since you have arrived and think we should.” Smiling gently towards the young woman, who was blushing slightly.

“I would like that.” Elaine looked up at Morgana, who was still smiling towards her. “It's been a while since the two of us have been for a ride.” Chuckling softly as she allowed Gwen to refill her goblet.

“Stay close to the Castle.” Uther warned them. “I do not want Cenred's men to discover you both, if you stumble into his lands by accident.” Drinking the rest of his drink and standing up. “Be careful.” Walking around the table to Elaine, kissing her on the top of her golden head before taking his leave.

Elaine remained silent, only listening to Morgana and Arthur's conversation for a moment before losing her concentration and thinking of what happened to her the night before and the very morning. She was worried about a number of things. She was worried that her uncle would discover what happened to her the night before. She was afraid she would fall with child and be shamed.

“Elaine? Elaine?” Morgana's voice came into her thoughts. “Are you there?” She chuckled softly as Elaine pulled herself out of her thoughts. “Where did you go with your thoughts?”

Elaine gave a sad smile and lied to them both. “Home. Thinking about father.” Smiling a little and stood up. “I will just ready myself.” Leaving the hall, brushing past Lancelot outside the hall, who was awaiting his orders from Arthur. Elaine could not bring herself to look at him. She felt the heat grow in her cheeks as she moved away from him, feeling his eyes watch her pass by her.

- - – – - - - - - - - - - - - - - - – - – - – – - - -

Morgana and Elaine rode through the forest on the outskirts of Camelot with a small escort of Knights including Lancelot. They had been riding for an hour. “Something troubling you, Elaine?” Morgana asked curiously.

“Not at all. A slight headache from drinking too much wine last night.” Elaine laughed nervously as they continued on their ride. “Did you enjoy the feast last night?”

“I certainly did but I must admit...” She stopped speaking to glance at Elaine, who was watching her intently. “We did not speak much.” The two young women laughed. “Any young knight catch your eye?”

Elaine gave a shy laugh. “Not at all.” Gently nudging her horse into a quicker trot. Her long blonde hair gently blew behind her as they left the comfort of the forest and into the fields below Camelot. “A race, my lady?” Elaine smirked at Morgana, who returned the smirk. “To the creek?”

Morgana nodded and looked behind her at their small company of knights. “Meet us at the creek, a mile south from here.” They bowed their heads towards the two noblewomen and turned to go the quickest way to the destination. “Ready? 3, 2, 1!” On the '1', Elaine and Morgana kicked their horses hard and sped off in the direction of their destination. As always, Morgana sped ahead to be the ultimate winner.

Elaine laughed lightly as she tried to catch up with Morgana but Morgana's horse was faster than her own and Morgana was a better rider than she was. The stamps of Morgana's horse was growing quieter and quieter. Elaine pulled her horse to a stop and listened for a moment. The meadow was deserted and she knew Morgana was probably already at the creek and waiting for her. She kicked her horse and continued off in the direction of the meeting place. Unknown to her, a pair of eyes watched her. The eyes belonged to someone, who would destroy Elaine for everything that she had done and would do.

Morgause despised Elaine because her father threw Morgause from his own court when she tried to seduce him and steal his throne by attempting to marry him but he did not fall for her charms as his life revolved around his daughter. Pelles threw Morgause from court, not knowing that she was of magic and had the power to destroy him but Morgause had patience and she would destroy the family slowly. Starting with the weakest: Elaine. She had seen the female's future and she had most certainly conceived a child with Sir Lancelot.

Morgause watched the young woman disappear into the trees before disappearing into a different set of trees herself. She would keep this development from Cenred, he would play his part soon. Once Elaine had given birth to her bastard child, Uther would try and marry her off or send her to a nunnery. Morgause would push Cenred forward to try and 'claim' Elaine but that would only be able to happen when Morgana was safely on the throne of Camelot.

- - - --- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Pains Of The Heart