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G-Man and Danger	By : tbird1965 Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 5304 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor the characters. I do not own the lyrics to; Enter Night, Secret Agent, Natural Woman, Paparazzi, Rock& Roll all Nite, Pour Some Sugar, The Humpty Dance, Talk Dirty to me. I d

Chapter List
- 1-G-Man and Danger
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Chapter 11
- 12-Chapter 12
- 13-Chapter 13
- 14-Chapter 14
- 15-Chapter 15
- 16-Chapter 16
- 17-Chapter 17
- 18-Chapter 18
- 19-Chapter 19
- 5
- 6
- 7
Hotch stood in the shower letting the hot water wash away the last of the cobwebs from his head. His headache was gone and he was feeling better. He opened his eyes and enjoyed the ocean view from the shower. He was amazed by the beauty of it. It was so peaceful and relaxing. When he was finished, he towel dried and dressed in khaki cargo shorts and a red t-shirt. Quickly combing his dark hair, he climbed the steps to rejoin Jazzy on the deck.
"Better?" she asked.
"Much." he said, sitting down next to her."
Jazzy gave him an appraising look, eying him up and down. "What?" he asked looking down at himself.
"You don't look like a G-man anymore, you look like a dude, Dude."
Hotch laughed, "Dude?"
He sat down at the table and they stared silently out at the ocean, unlike the silence at the bar, this one didn't feel awkward or strange.
"What did you mean last night?" he asked, turning to look at her.
'About what?"
"When you told me time heals all wounds. What did you mean by that?"
"Well it's true, isn't it?" she said, staring at him.
He nodded slowly and continued to question her with his eyes.
Jazzy took a deep breath. "Well, I'm no profiler, but it's clear you've gone through something really awful. You were physically hurt and you lost someone very important to you. You seem to feel guilty about it and it's like you think it's your fault." she paused and asked, "Who or what is a Foyet?"
Hotch gaped at her, "How….?" he stammered.
She stopped him with a wave of her hand, "You talk in your sleep. You called out Foyet a few times and I saw the scars on your chest when you took your shirt off."
"And the rest?" he asked.
She shrugged, "When you smile it doesn't reach your eyes. I'm familiar with that look."
Hotch leaned back in his seat. "Wow. Want a job?" He joked, but there was no humor in his voice.
She shrugged again and shook her head.
"Foyet was a serial killer who murdered my ex-wife." Hotch said, looking down at his hands.
"Was?" Jazzy asked.
"He's dead. I beat him to death with my bare hands."
Jazzy nodded her head slowly.
He turned to look at her. "Does that bother you? That I killed someone with my fists?"
"Should it?" she asked, staring back at him.
He shrugged again and looked back at the ocean. "I do feel guilty. I do feel like it's my fault that Haley was murdered."
"You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to." Jazzy said gently, "But if you do, I'm a good listener."
Hotch took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He realized he did want to tell her, he needed to tell her, about everything.
He started at the beginning, telling her about Haley and High School and the 4th Pirate. He told her about being happy and then not being happy with being a Prosecutor. He told her about joining the FBI and the BAU and how he finally felt like he made a difference. He told her about his marriage falling apart, about the fights and the frustrations because he was never home. He told her about the divorce he hadn't wanted and eventually coming to terms with that. He told her about Foyet and the deal and being stabbed in his own apartment. Then he told her about that horrible day, hearing Foyet shoot Haley, fearing for Jack, the anger and guilt and frustration he had felt. His voice cracked but he didn't cry. When he finished, he let out another deep breath. He felt like his chest had cracked open and some of the pain had seeped out.
He looked at Jazzy and watched her wipe a tear from her cheek. He smiled sadly. "So. Are you going to tell me not to feel guilty? Everyone else does."
She shook her head. "You feel what you feel. My telling you not to won't change that. You have to deal with your own feelings, your own way, until you figure out how to come to terms with them."
He nodded his head, thinking about what she said. He remembered a time when he had told one of his own agents that he needed to figure out a way to come to terms with his feelings.
"I do have one question." she said. He turned to look at her. "Was making a deal with a serial killer an option for you? Really? Is that something you could live with and still look at yourself in the mirror every morning?"
He shook his head slowly. "No." He whispered. "It was never an option."
"Hmm." She held her hand out palm up. Hotch looked at it for a moment, then slowly placed his hand in hers. They sat that way, staring out at the ocean, holding hands. Hotch sighed again and realized he felt…peaceful.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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G-Man and Danger