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The Embrace	By : bonnyblonde Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 4558 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead nor do I make any money from the publications of this story

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Another thanks to RF for setting me on the right path with this chapter, what would I do without my beta extraordinaire?

Chapter 6
Carol had only just pulled the guard booth's door closed behind her and was starting down the stairs, self-consciously straightening her wrinkled clothes, when Beth came hurrying around the corner from the cells with a squalling, red-faced infant in her arms and a look of alarm on her face.
"Carol! Oh, there you are…thank God! Can you help me, please? I can't get the baby to stop crying. I checked her diaper and she's just been fed, but nothing I try seems to be working. I figured you might know what to do. Normally Daryl would take care of her when she gets like this, but he's busy with Rick…"
Carol's eyebrows popped up and she paused mid-step, forgetting for the moment that the girl had caught her exiting Daryl's room. "Daryl takes care of her?" she said, unable to keep the disbelief from her voice.
Beth broke into a grin and giggled. "Maybe she thinks Daryl's her mom or something – he was the first one to feed her after she was born, so I think they've got a bond between them now. He's really good with her, I gotta say. When no one else can calm her down, he can get her settled right away."
Still trying to process that revelation, Carol descended the remainder of the steps and held out her arms for the bawling baby. The child's little hands were balled into fists, her knees were pulled up against her tummy, and her tiny face was screwed up in a heartbreaking expression of pain as she wriggled in discomfort. "Oh… shhhh…. yes, I know," Carol cooed, holding the baby to her shoulder and patting the little one's back. "I know it's hurting, sweetheart…we'll get you better, don't you worry."
Beth's brow was knitted and she was biting her lip with concern. "What's wrong? Is she sick?"
Kissing the soft crown of the baby's head and inhaling the wonderful newborn scent, Carol smiled understandingly at the teenager. "No, she's just gassy, is all. Probably sucked in some air while she was feeding. Sophia went through that, too, before I figured out how to hold the bottle properly. We just have to help her work that out and she'll be right as rain."
Sitting down on the step, Carol stretched the baby chest-down over her forearm, cradling the small head in one palm while she gently rubbed the child's back. "Just a little pressure on your tummy, right? That's a girl, come on now…" The baby squirmed restlessly until a surprisingly loud burp emerged from her gaping mouth, and both Carol and Beth laughed at how the rather undignified sound reverberated off the walls.
Carol turned the sniffling baby over and tucked her into the crook of her arm so she could gaze into the infant's sweet, fat-cheeked face. As she did so, though, she felt an unexpected pang of grief so powerful that her heart stumbled for a beat or two. It was impossible not to remember how it had felt to hold Sophia the exact same way, how she would finger her soft baby-blonde hair and smile into her daughter's face.
Babies…they were all about possibilities, all about the future. But Sophia's path had been set even before she was born. Between her father's violent temper and the outbreak of the virus that ultimately resulted in her death, there hadn't been any chance to really know what kind of person Sophia might have become. Twelve years…twelve short, brutal years, and then she was gone, torn out of Carol's life for good.
The baby reached out with a chubby little hand and snagged Carol's finger, tightening her hold as though clinging to a lifeline. What kind of future did this little girl have ahead of her? As terrible a reality as Carol and her own daughter had faced every day in the shadow of Ed's abuse, it was nothing compared to the world in which they were going to have to try and raise Rick and Lori's child.
She had failed as Sophia's mother…she understood that now. Loving her daughter more than anything on earth hadn't been enough; she should have taken her away, should have fled to a shelter far away from home and tried to bring up Sophia on her own. While it was true that Carol had never allowed Ed to lay a finger on their daughter, Sophia had still been irreparably scarred by having to watch as her father hit her mother. As a result, the girl had led a fearful life, bereft of the normal, carefree delights of childhood. Maybe the end result would have been the same; after all, so few had escaped the unholy appetites of the walkers. But if only Carol could have given her a few years of happiness first…
The newborn stared up at her with eyes wide with innocence and wonder. My God, there was such so much uncertainty ahead for all of them, never mind such a tiny, helpless being. And although nothing could be done about the kind of life they all had to live now…always fighting, always on the run…Carol hoped that there would be at least a little joy ahead.
A hand gently settled on her shoulder and Carol looked up to see Beth regarding her with a kind of sympathy that was well beyond her years. "I can take her back if you like. I didn't even think about…your…well, I know this must be hard for you."
Carol shook her head and smiled past the tears that swam in her eyes. "No, I'm fine. I haven't held a baby like this for so long, and it looks like she's starting to drift off. How about you let me look after her while you take some time for yourself?
"Oh sure! She seems really happy with you. Besides, she needs lots of looking after, so maybe we could share the job sometimes. Rick, there's too much going on with him to expect him to do anything with her, Carl's not too good with the whole diaper thing," Beth continued, wrinkling her nose at the thought, "and Daddy…well, being a vet, he was always more comfortable with baby animals. Right now it's mostly me…and Daryl, I guess, when he's around."
As if Carol needed another reason to love Daryl, knowing that he had a way with babies only served to make him all the more appealing. Just the thought of that man cradling an infant in those muscular, bare arms made her ache for him again.
"If you need any of her things, Carol, there's a whole set-up in my cell. She should be okay for a while, though."
"Thanks, Beth. We'll be just fine, won't we…uh…" Carol paused and frowned. "I don't think I've heard anyone say the baby's name yet. What did Rick call her?"
Beth's eyes twinkled mischievously as she turned to take her leave. "Rick didn't, Daryl did. And you'll have to ask him about that yourself. Let's just say you won't find it in any baby book!"

"You named the baby, 'L'il Ass Kicker? Honestly, Daryl…I thought you were kidding when you said that earlier," Carol admonished gently, instinctively rocking from side to side as she cradled the slumbering infant in her arms. She'd followed Daryl into the store room where they kept their weapons, wanting to spend as much time as she could with him before the men hit the road.
Daryl flashed a sheepish grin as he shoved extra boxes of ammunition into Rick's duffel bag. "Seemed to suit her at the time. Besides, with a name like that, she'll have to be tough."
She raised her eyebrow sceptically. "And Rick was okay with your choice?"
He paused and shrugged, his smile fading as he started packing again. "Rick ain't been doin' too well lately; I don't know that he's even thought about the baby very much, ne'er mind figuring out what to call her. I think he's comin' back 'round now, though. Sure as hell hope so, anyway, if we're gonna accomplish anythin' tonight besides gettin' ourselves killed."
Carol's heart clenched painfully and she grew still. "Don't say that…please."
"You heard what that Michonne woman said," he muttered, crouching to pull another set of bolts for his crossbow out of the locker. "The guy in charge of this town is a real psycho. Runs the place like the Hotel California…folks can get in but they can't ever leave, not if they like being alive. Who knows what he'd do to people who dared mess up his personal little Jonestown fantasy?"
She turned away slightly and fidgeted needlessly with the baby's outfit, shivering as fear crept through her veins like ice water. Daryl's flippant remarks aside, she had a horrible feeling about what the men were about to walk into. In that moment, and knowing it was wrong even as she thought it, she almost hated Glenn and Maggie for allowing themselves to be captured. Those being left behind at the prison stood to lose so much...if the situation went all to hell, how would they survive without the two strongest members of their group? A weary middle-aged woman, a crippled old man, a convict, two teenagers, and a baby...the odds weren't exactly in their favour. The truth was that certain death awaited them without Rick and Daryl.
But Maggie and Glenn were family. Both had put their lives on the line a hundred times for everyone else, and would no doubt do so again in the future if given the chance. How many times had the other survivors risked their lives to search for Sophia, futile though it had been? Or selflessly ventured away from the security and safety of wherever they'd been holed up in order to search for food, water or medicine? All the members of the group, herself included, owed it to them to come to their rescue now that they were in danger...in the end, the men had no choice but to fight to save their own. When it came down to it, the only thing they had was each other.
If she was being honest with herself, though, it came down to this...she really had no idea how she could carry on if Daryl was taken from her. She'd told him while he'd been searching for Sophia that she couldn't lose him, too...it was the closest she'd come, before today, to telling him how she really felt. If both her daughter and her lover were gone, then what would be the point of living?
As if answering her unspoken question, the baby chose that exact moment to cry out, a brief, plaintive wail that tugged hard at her heartstrings. Before she could comfort the child, Daryl instantly abandoned what he was doing and strode over to her, reaching out his arms.
"Here, let me take her for a minute," he said, and Carol passed the infant over to him, watching with fascination at how quickly the little girl settled in Daryl's embrace, and at how tender his expression grew as he looked down into her tiny, trusting face. Beth had been right; there was a bond between these two that was really special.
"Hey there, you gonna look after my best girl for me, L'il Ass Kicker?" he murmured warmly, running his knuckle gently over the baby's downy cheek. "I need you to keep her safe 'til I get back, okay?"
Carol pressed her hand against her chest, the poignancy of the moment so touching that her heart actually hurt. "Looks real good on you," she said softly as she watched him cuddle the baby, wishing with every ounce of her being that for just a little while, the world could be what it had been once again, and that what she was seeing now could be his future...their future.
Even if by some miracle everything returned to normal, though, Carol had long ago ensured that she would never again feel new life growing within her. It had been bad enough having one child witness the humiliation and abuse to which Ed had subjected her daily – the thought of having any more children with him had been too terrible to contemplate.
And up until this very moment...this very devastating moment...she'd never had cause to regret her decision.
"Daryl, do you wish..." she began, knowing that she was setting out to torture herself even by asking. "I mean...is this something you want? A child of your own? A family?"
He frowned and shook his head with what seemed like resignation. "No way. Bringin' another baby into the midst of all this...that just wouldn't be right. Lori maybe shoulda thought about that while she was bangin' half the King County sheriff's department. It's gonna be tough enough tryin' to keep this little one healthy and out of harm's way, ne'er mind adding to the..."
He stopped abruptly, flicking his eyes up to hers in alarm as the hypocrisy of what he'd just said about Lori's lack of precautions finally sunk in. "We...you an' I...didn't use anything...I never even thought...Christ, do you think...?"
The fact that he was upset about maybe knocking her up rather than being hopeful about it wounded her a bit, even though everything he'd said was true...it would be irresponsible and dangerous to let such a thing happen, never mind the fact that it was physically impossible. Carol forced herself to smile reassuringly. "You have nothing to worry about, trust me," she said a bit too brightly, crossing her arms over her chest. "It was taken care of long before I met you."
Daryl stared at her intently for a heartbeat before an understanding of why she'd even asked dawned on his face. "This baby needs us, Carol," he said solemnly, closing the gap between them. "It don't matter that she ain't our blood...this group, we're all kin now, and that means she belongs to you 'n me, too. You're the important one, though. Outta all of us, you're the only mother she's ever gonna know."
Carol nodded and swallowed hard despite the lump in her throat, refusing to give in to tears yet again. It was ridiculous to mourn something that was never a possibility in the first place. She reached out and took the baby from him, snuggling the squirming little bundle close to her breast. "I'm not so sure about that," she forced herself to say teasingly, looking at him slyly from beneath her eyelashes even as the ache in her windpipe persisted. "From what Beth tells me and what I've just seen myself, it seems like you've already filled that role nicely."
He chuckled and she couldn't help but join him, so sweet and rare was the sound of his laughter. "That one's just jealous that the baby loves me best. Ain't that right, sweetheart?" he said, ticking the baby's palm until her tiny hand closed tightly around his finger.
"I think I'll take her outside for a bit, catch the last of the sunshine and give her some fresh air," Carol announced suddenly, rearranging the blankets around the baby's kicking legs as she tried to dispel her morose thoughts. "That'll give you a chance to finish what you're doing. You don't get out there soon, they're going to start thinking we're up to something naughty in here."
She turned to make her way to the door but Daryl caught her elbow before she went very far, halting her in her tracks. "Carol, you gotta know...just havin' you, that's enough for me, okay?" he whispered, his voice rough as they locked gazes. "I don't need more than that."
The sentiment was bittersweet...it was exactly what she'd needed to hear, and yet at the same time, she could be losing everything today if something went wrong. Turning back towards him, she balanced the baby's weight on one arm so she could wrap the other around his neck and pull him down for a soft kiss. He hugged her gently, mindful not to crush the infant between them.
"We'll wait for you outside, okay?" she murmured, taking one last, quick taste of his lips before she pulled away. There'd be no chance for such tender goodbyes outside, not with everyone watching. Neither of them was ready to go there yet.
She held his intense gaze as she backed away, staring deep into his blue eyes and revelling in the love she saw there before she opened the door and walked out into the fading sunlight.

Carol watched as the group packed guns, knives, bolts and whatever else they could possibly use in their arsenal so they could face off against the so-called 'Governor.' She didn't understand why he couldn't just leave them in peace...they were just trying to survive; they weren't out to hurt anyone else. But she supposed that just like Rick, the Governor figured that he couldn't afford to trust strangers if he was going to keep his own people safe. They'd had far more cause to fear the living than the dead over the past year, after all. Hopefully he could be convinced that they didn't pose a threat and would release Glenna and Maggie without bloodshed.
From what they'd been told about this guy, she didn't really believe it would be possible, but that didn't keep her from praying that would be the case.
Daryl came down the stairs behind her, carrying the last of his gear. His hand settled briefly on her waist. "Stay safe," he said quietly, and as she looked up into his face, her heart skipped a beat at the secret, unspoken emotion she saw there.
"Nine lives, remember?" she answered softly, and his gaze fell one last time to where the baby wriggled in her arms. Carol hid her trepidation and smiled bravely as he walked away, taking her heart with him as he left.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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The Embrace