The Family that Almost Was | By : Ellixer Category: S through Z > Xena Views: 2832 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena or its characters. I make no money, this is purely for entertainment |
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The sun is high when I wake, the room empty and quiet. I can’t decide if this a good thing or bad. My body hurts, it takes me a minute just to sit up. Every movement is excruciatingly slow. Somehow I manage to stand and find clean clothes sitting on a chair. It’s a loose top and a small skirt. I’m sure it was Xena’s insistence that I wear these, something loose against my wounds. I finish lacing the top as the door opens. ‘I was wondering if you were still alive.’ My sister stands there with a big grin. ‘Xena usually doesn’t let me sleep in.’ I take stock of my sister, so much older than the last time I saw her. I wrap my arms around her and hug. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t wake me up last night?’ She exclaims holding me at arms length. I smirk at her. ‘So I guess you know everything now?’ ‘I don’t know about everything.’ Her arms cross in front of her chest. ‘Am I to believe that you and Xena….?’ ‘Yes.’ I nod. ‘I love her.’ Why is this so hard for people to understand? The Amazons would embrace such things. But then my family is not from the Amazons. Lila is standing there scrutinizing me. ‘Well I always wondered.’ ‘What?’ ‘I’ve gotten to read some of your scrolls. You don’t leave much out do you?’ ‘Well….’ I grin at her. She holds her hand up. ‘I don’t want to know. When I’ve seen you together I think I knew.’ Smiling she shakes her head. ‘I’m glad you’re home.’ We regard each other for a moment longer ‘Where is everyone anyway?’ ‘Outside.’ She nods her head and leads the way out the door. The sun is bright and piercing in the sky, but luckily it’s not hot. A cool breeze wafts by every now and then. Eve is sitting on a blanket playing with a wooden horse. My mother is sitting on a chair near the door just watching. ‘Where’s Xena?’ ‘Oh you’re up, how are you feeling?’ She gazes up at me. ‘Ok, a little sore I guess. Where’s Xena?’ I don’t see her anywhere. ‘She went hunting, insisted on it actually. I don’t think she wanted to push herself on us.’ Her gaze moves back to Eve who’s babbling away. I walk over to her, picking the plump child up in my arms. ‘Mother, if you can’t handle Xena being here..’ ‘No Gabrielle.’ She cuts me off. ‘It will take time but I know how much she means to you.’ ‘Where’s dad?’ My mother sighs, looking off into the distance. ‘He went to town first thing. I don’t think he’ll be back. At least not for a few days.’ My face drops. Deep down I knew he would react like this, but I had hope that he would surprise me and be decent. ‘So how do you like your new niece?’ I change the subject, shifting my attention back to Lila. ‘She’s beautiful Gabby.’ ‘Well I had nothing to do with it.’ I sit Eve back down, the pain becoming a little too much. ‘You obviously love her as if she’s yours.’ ‘Of course.’ I’m not sure how I could feel otherwise, it seems impossible to me. ‘But I’m not her mother.’ A tinge of sadness hits me. Is this the closest to my own child that I will ever get? No one speaks so I ease myself down on the blanket next to Eve. ‘Gabrielle.’ My mothers voice is soft but full of concern. ‘Is this really how you plan on living?’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I can come to accept this thing with Xena,’ she sighs. ‘ But is this really how you plan on raising a child?’ ‘Its not a thing mother.’ ‘That’s beside the point.’ I’m not sure how to answer, it’s a complicated issue. ‘We’re doing what’s best.’ It’s not like I wouldn’t like to settle, have a home to go to, but our lives don’t allow for normalcy. I look at Eve a moment. Not all children have the God’s after them either. My mother sighs, giving up for the moment. ‘Are you hungry?’ She stands from her chair. I hadn’t realized but I’m starving. I look up at my mom giving her a small smile and nod. ‘I’ll get you something to eat.’ She walks off, disappointment etched in her face. ‘I’m sure you have your reasons.’ Lila says, sitting down to play with Eve. ‘What about you, when are you going to have a family?’ I want to change the subject, shift away from this topic. Lila smiles shyly. ‘Well there is someone.’ ‘What? Who?’ ‘He’s really sweet and he loves me.’ Her face blushes slightly. ‘I’m so happy for you!’ ‘What’s going on?’ Xena’s voice is suddenly behind me. I try to twist to look at her, but it feels as if my wounds want to rip open. ‘Lila has a sweetheart.’ Xena chuckles, coming into view. A stag is draped across her shoulders. ‘Get enough sleep?’ Her face changes, concern replacing the mirth. ‘Yeah. Thanks.’ ‘My pleasure.’ She grins walking off towards the barn. I wonder if my family can truly accept the life I’ve chosen. They blame Xena for everything that’s happened to me, but I made my own decisions, many times defying Xena’s orders. Everyone seems to spend the day tip toeing around. No real questions or deep conversations held. No one seems to stay in the same room for very long. I’m uncomfortable with this awkward dance, but it’s better than yelling and death threats. Night comes slowly with a storm in tow. ‘So?’ I sit on the edge of the bed, watching Xena bathe Eve in a basin of water. She gives me a brief glance. ‘What?’ She starts making baby noises at her daughter. ‘Are you ok with all this? I’ve been worried about my family but….. I haven’t thought about how this would make you feel.’ She sighs, picking up Eve and holding her against her chest. ‘If I can survive battles against the God’s, I think I can handle this.’ I lay out a small blanket on the bed; she gently places the baby down. Eve wraps her hand around my finger. ‘Xena I…’ ‘If I’m that easily scared away then you deserve better.’ She rubs my cheek a few times then turns back to dressing Eve. I rub my shoulder; the muscle where the arrow hit is screaming in pain and tight as a bowstring. Xena picks Eve up and places her in the bassinet. I sigh as I lay back on the bed. A few minutes later Xena is next to me, laying on her side in her camisole. Her fingers play idly on my stomach. ‘Your family has never liked me.’ Her voice is low and soft. I turn my head towards her. ‘Hasn’t stopped me and it hasn’t stopped you all these years.’ She can always make me smile. Deep down I’m thankful that Perdicus died. I feel really guilty, but I wouldn’t be here right now, I wouldn’t be this person I am now. And by the God’s I love her so much more. I loved him, but it was such an innocent young love, a first time love. ‘Stop thinking.’ Xena whispers in my ear, her hand flattens against my stomach as her lips meet my neck. My hand snakes behind her head, directing her lips to mine. ‘I was thinking about you.’ I whisper against her lips. She grins. ‘I’m right here.’ I take her bottom lip in my mouth, pulling on it slightly. Our tongues tangle in an intimate dance. Xena pulls away after a minute, eyes gleam down at me. ‘Hey, you’re not healed enough yet.’ She gives a small smile, brushing hair off my forehead. I wish there was a way to show my family this side of Xena. They refuse to see the good in what used to be bad. ‘Just a little.’ I plead, my hand slides down her back. ‘And what’s a little?’ She smirks. ‘When I say stop.’ I begin kissing her lips gently, just small pecks. ‘You won’t say stop.’ She moves closer, our tongues meeting once again. Her hand slides across my stomach, down my hip till she grabs my ass. My hands are slowly hitching up her camisole, revealing firm curves that are begging to be touched. Her hand hooks my thigh, forcing it out. She breaks the kiss and looks down watching her hand work. Fingers trail across my skin, down my thigh and back up. My breath hitches with each movement. I want her lips again but she’s intent on the show she’s putting on. She’s teasing me with touches. ‘Xena.’ I gasp, my hands grabbing at the bed in frustration. She gives in, lips tease against mine. Her hand leaves and I’m missing the touch instantly. But it comes back, sliding down my arm to my hand, her fingers tangle in mine. She brings our hands to rest on my stomach. The kissing is beginning to leave me gasping; but when she moves to my neck, nipping at the skin, I’m left breathless. ‘Xe…’ I can’t seem to get her whole name out in between the groans she eliciting. My tongue licks across my lips, missing the touch of her lips against mine. Our fingers untangle and this time she makes no detour, going straight to the one place I need them most, sliding under the material of my skirt. My hips jerk as her fingers begin a slow rhythm in and out, building up momentum and force. She captures my mouth once again, but I’m left gasping into her unable to reciprocate. Soon her hand has built up a mad rhythm and my body is screaming out. I try to hold out longer, enjoying the feeling and not wanting it to leave. Xena has left me no choice, I can’t hold on any longer. I give in, an explosion setting off in my body. I let out a deep low groan, trying not to be loud. ‘Stop.’ My voice sounds gravely in my ears. Xena grins down at me, removing her fingers and sliding across my thigh. Her eyebrow cocks up. ‘Well if you insist.’ She kisses and sucks at my neck a minute longer making me desperate for more. ‘Come on, lets change your bandages.’ She says as she pulls away, easing me up. 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