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Edge of Insanity	By : hatochiisai Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 4649 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor do I make any financial profit off of writing this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Edge of Insanity

Hatochiisai aka Ahmose Inarus

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

SLASH WARNING!!! Hotch/Reid

CHAPTER 6

“I warned you people that this would happen.” Hotch hissed into the phone, a storm raging in his eyes. The team was watching him, all tense in their own righteous fury. “I told you, this is his greatest fear come true!”

“Agent Hotchner. I’m sorry, but I think he’s worse off than any of us believed.”

“He was never like this until he was locked up there.” Hotch snarled. For some reason, his soft tone seemed so much more dangerous… Dr. Harris found himself wishing that the Agent would shout instead of using the low, smooth tone…

“I want to take him home.” Hotch said. “As soon as I get back in town.”

“I’m afraid I can’t authorize that, Agent Hotchner.” Dr. Harris said. “He’s done himself physical harm. I release him and anything happens, I’m responsible. No sir. I’m sorry, but he needs to stay.”

“I want to talk to him.”

“He’s sedated.”

“Tell me what happened.” Hotch snarled, shaking in his anger.

“He hasn’t spoken a word all week. Hardly eats a thing. But after group therapy this morning, he snapped. We were called into the day room. He was in his usual chair by the window, but he was rocking himself and crying. He was hysterical. He had scratched the inside of his left elbow bloody. When we got him out of the chair and on the floor, he begged us not to hurt him… then… then he spread his legs and told us that he wouldn’t fight us and to just do it.”

Hotch stood frozen for a long time, before he slowly fell into a chair.

“He’s had a Major Depressive Episode, Agent Hotchner. A complete mental breakdown. At this time, I’m going to keep him under observation to make sure this wasn’t a psychotic break.” Dr. Harris said.

“… I’ll be there this afternoon.” Hotch finally said, and hung up. The team watched as his phone fell to the floor, and their Unit Chief let his head fall into his hands.

“Hotch?” Morgan finally asked.

“… Reid snapped.” Hotch said softly.

“Snapped?!” Prentiss gasped, and they all moved in, eyes wide.

“He… had some sort of episode.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure.” Hotch said, finally standing. “But he hurt himself. And when they came to help him… he was not in touch with reality. I have to get back.” And he grabbed his phone from the floor. “Call Garcia, tell her to get me on the next flight back to Virginia!”

“You got it!” Morgan called after the man.

Hotch sped off to the nearest airport. Halfway there, his phone rang.

“Hotchner.”

“Sir, I have you booked on flight 395. You should make it just in time. You have a connection in Kansas City and fight 468 will bring you the rest of the way. This is the fastest way, sir. And a rental car is already waiting in your name.”

“Thank you, Garcia.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?”

“No, Garcia. Just help the team. If I need anything else, I’ll call.”

“And I’ll be here, sir.”

“Thank you, Penelope.” Hotch said, and hung up.

Several hours later, he was walking into the hospital of Willow Ridge. And once again, for the third time, he sight that greeted him was of his young lover in the bed, restrained and sedated. But by now, the sedative was wearing off. Reid was awake and staring at the ceiling.

“Spencer?” Hotch called gently. The boy didn’t respond. Slowly, the man approached. He moved to stand beside the bed, and he stared down. And he felt like his stomach was filled with ice.

This was not Spencer Reid. This was not HUMAN!

Those eyes were completely empty… void of all emotion. Hotch could usually see that brain working in those eyes… but no more. He saw nothing. And this terrified him.

“… Spencer?” He whispered and slowly reached out, running his fingers through the boy’s hair. “Baby?” He got no response. His heart was pounding. “Spencer, answer me. Please…” He gasped, desperately. “Talk to me, Reid.” Reid let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes. “Spencer… PLEASE, baby… don’t do this… look at me.” There was still no response. Hotch dropped into a chair, devastated.

“Agent Hotchner.” He turned as Dr. Harris came in. The doctor’s eyes widened when the FBI Agent stood and turned to face him.

“What the hell have you done to him?!” Hotch demanded. Dr. Harris shook his head.

“Agent Hotchner… Dr. Reid is very sick.” Dr. Harris said, his voice heavy.

“No.” Hotch hissed, eyes blazing. “He wasn’t like this until he came in here! When he was with me… with US... The TEAM, he was fine! He was struggling a bit with some mild PTSD, but he was normal, and HAPPY. He would smile, and talk and laugh… I’ve not seen him smile or laugh since he found out he was coming here. This place is doing more harm than good.”

“Sometimes, Agent Hotchner, things get worse before they get better.” Dr. Harris said.

“Not THIS bad!” Hotch cried, pointing at Reid. “No. This isn’t right.”

“You may sit with him, Agent Hotchner.” Dr. Harris said. “But he cannot leave. Not after all he had done. He’s only given me more and more reasons to believe that this is where he belongs. I’m sorry you don’t agree, but this is what is best for you agent.”

Dr. Harris allowed Hotch to stay the night in the hospital with Reid. And Hotch only moved from the boy’s bedside once to use the bathroom. Several times during the night Hotch had to soothe the youth from nightmares that left him whimpering and crying and straining against the straps binding his wrists. When this happened, Hotch would lean over the bed and gently stroke his lover’s face and his hair, trying to rid him of the anguish he suffered even in sleep. But it kept coming back. Hotch was relieved when the sun finally rose. The wake up call was heard, and Reid opened his eyes. This time when Hotch called to him, the boy met his gaze. But there was still nothing in his eyes… they were as blank as a corpse.

Dr Harris came in and after an exam, Reid was released from his restraints and given a bowl of oatmeal. And after an hour of coaxing, begging and pleading from the doctor, two nurses and Hotch, Reid had only taken a few bites. And all of them had been at Hotch’s insistence… the boy only responded to his Unit Chief. He rose from the bed on his bidding, and allowed the man to guide him to the bathroom.

“Can you get undressed and bathe for me?” Hotch asked, gently. Reid stood stock still for a moment, then slowly shed his clothing. Hotch turned and started the shower, warming it up. Then he watched Reid step into the shower. Reid didn’t close the curtain. He just stood before the elder man and bathed himself, his movements reluctant, but mechanical. Hotch sighed, picking up a cloth, soaping it up and beginning to run it over the young man’s back. Reid tensed for a moment, but then slowly relaxed and leaned into the touches. Hotch closed his eyes for a moment, relieved at this response.

When Reid finished bathing, Hotch helped the boy dry off and dress in fresh clothes, and then he guided him out and sat with him while a nurse re-bandaged the inside of the boy’s elbow. Hotch had winced at the sight… Reid had scratched off ragged strips of his own skin.

When Reid was finally allowed out of the hospital wing, he was guided back to his room. Hotch frowned when he saw it, but said nothing. Reid stood in the middle of the room and didn’t move. After a moment, Hotch turned to face him.

“Spencer. Can you tell me what happened yesterday?” He asked. Reid didn’t move. He said nothing. “Spencer?” Hotch got no response. Slowly the man sat down on the bed, suddenly very tired. He leaned against the wall and ran a hand over his face. He gasped in surprise when Reid crawled onto the bed and curled up against his body, resting his head on the man’s chest. Hotch stared down at the boy, then smiled sadly and let his arms drape around the youth. And there they sat for several hours until the call for lunch was heard.

“Spencer?” Hotch murmured gently. “Ready for lunch?” Reid tensed, then curled up tighter, clutching Hotch tightly. “Hey… what’s wrong?” The man asked. Reid just hid his face. “Aren’t you hungry?” After a pause, Reid shook his head. “Spencer… you need to eat something.” Hotch got no response for the youth. “Spencer?” The boy shook his head, vigorously. “Come on, Spencer, get up.” Hotch said, and moved to get up himself. But Reid wouldn’t have it. Hotch grunted as he was shoved back down, and this time Reid didn’t curl up AGAINST him, but on TOP of him. The boy curled up in his lap and against his chest and clutched his shirt so hard his knuckles turned white. Hotch stared at the boy, feeling him shake and hearing soft gasps and a couple of miniscule whimpers.

“Spencer… baby…” Hotch breathed. “Oh Spencer…” He wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly, running a hand up and down the boy’s back, pressing a kiss to his head. “Look baby… Look at me…” And he took Reid’s chin in his fingers and lifted the boy’s head. “Spencer. I have to go home.” Reid’s eyes widened and he tightened his hold on the man. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get some fresh clothes and… maybe bring you some of your things, okay?” Reid just stared. “Come on, Spencer. I’m taking you to get some lunch.” And Hotch finally managed to get Reid to stand and shuffle out of the room. He guided his lover to the cafeteria and saw him to a seat. Then he laid a hand on the top of the boy’s head.

“I’ll be back soon.” Hotch assured him, then turned and walked out. As soon as he was gone Reid began to shake, his eyes wide and frightened. With Hotch, there was comfort and security… with Hotch, he was safe. But now he was alone. He was vulnerable. And someone would try to hurt him. When his lunch was set down before him, he flinched. When the nurse walked away, Reid stared down at the bowl of soup. His heart pounded. What if it had been laced with something? His breathing picked up, and he trembled.

No. He wouldn’t eat it. He wouldn’t let them dose him with something. He stood and hurried from the cafeteria, returning to his room. And two hours later, that’s where Hotch found him. Reid was curled up tightly on the desk, staring out the window and slowly fingering the ring on his finger.

“Spencer.” Hotch called, gently. Reid turned and looked at him. Hotch watched as the boy perked up ever so slightly at the sight of him. “I heard that you didn’t touch your lunch.” Reid just stared at him. “Spencer?” Reid stared a moment longer, and then he uncurled and reached his arms out to the man, looking very much like a child begging to be held after skinning their knee. Hotch quickly crossed the room and pulled Reid into his chest, hugging him close.

Dr. Harris and Riley appeared in the doorway, and watched. Hotch gently rocked his agent and ran a hand up and down the young man’s back. A moment later, he stepped back.

“Feel better?”

Nod.

“Okay… think you can try to eat something?”

Shrug.

“Okay. Let’s try to eat.” And Hotch guided Reid to sit at the desk, and Riley placed a fresh bowl of hot soup before Reid. Reid stared at it suspiciously, and then shot Hotch a nervous look. “It’s okay.” Hotch said with a smile, picking up the spoon and dipping it into the soup, lifting it up. “Here. Eat.” Reid stared at him for another moment, then took the spoon and sipped the soup from it. He made a displeased face and Hotch chuckled. “Just eat it.”

And with the man’s encouragement, Reid managed to get through half of the bowl before he refused to eat any more. Dr. Harris sighed, hoping that this trend of refusing to eat for anyone but Agent Hotchner wouldn’t continue. He couldn’t afford to have an FBI Agent hanging around…

That night when he returned home, he found the man and woman waiting for him.

“I want a progress report.” The woman said, staring at the man.

“He’s… not doing well.” Dr. Harris mumbled, refusing to meet her gaze.

“How so?”

“… He hasn’t spoken a word in a week. And he’s not eating enough to sustain himself. As it is, only Agent Hotchner can get him to eat, and even then the amount he eats is minimal. We may have to start force feeding him. Yesterday, he… had a complete breakdown. Now he won’t even respond to anyone but Agent Hotchner. He also hurt himself. I’m concerned that he is… suicidal.”

“Good.” The woman said, smirking. “Keep it up. But do NOT let him end it.”

“How long is this going to go on?!” Dr. Harris cried, looking incredibly distressed.

“As long as you can make it go. Because the moment it is over is the moment our business ends. If he dies, I will simply vanish. If you do anything to let him out and end his suffering… well… you know the consequences…”

“… I understand.” Dr. Harris gasped, looking devastated.

“Good.” The woman said and walked out, the man with her. The door closed behind them. Dr. Harris stood where he was for a long time after they left… Then, he fell into a chair.

“My God, what have I gotten myself into?!”

Hotch stood in the doorway of Reid’s depressingly bare bedroom with Rossi and Morgan. JJ and Emily were in Reid’s room, trying to make it a bit less depressing. They had brought Reid his comforter from home; the comforter that had been on the bed in the loft before he had been evicted. They had folded it in half and Reid was curled up in it like a sleeping bag… after all, his bed in this room was a twin, the comforter was the size of a King. They had also brought him a fluffy pillow with an old Star Wars pillow case they had found when they raided the storage unit that Hotch had put Reid’s belongings in when the boy was evicted. They had put Reid’s favorite books on the shelf that was bolted to the wall over the desk, and some stationary, envelopes, stamps and a few pens were on the desk, in case Reid wanted to write his mother. Garcia had brought the boy his MP3 Player. JJ was working with a roll of scotch tape, and was putting photos of the team, and a couple of Diana Reid up on the wall (Reid wasn’t allowed picture frames because of sharp corners and glass).

Garcia had also gone through Reid’s things and found something even Hotch hadn’t known about. In an old box, she found an old, well loved plush bear. She had washed it, and found that it was one of the old 13” vintage Care Bears; Bedtime Bear to be precise. When she had pulled it out of her bag, that was the first time Reid finally acknowledged the team’s presence. He stared at the bear, and his eyes widened, and then he reached out for it. Smiling, Garcia had stepped forward and placed the bear in his hands. Reid had immediately hugged the bear close, and that was when the team had finally felt comfortable enough to enter his room and begin to work.

Now, Reid was curled up with his Bedtime Bear, coccooned in his comforter with his head on the Star Wars pillow. Garcia was sitting beside him on the bed, running her hand up and down his back while she read to him. And she was reading him ‘Harry Potter’. Not only that, but she had brought him the entire series, telling him he needed some joy in this dismal place.

Hotch smiled as he stared at his young lover, who was resting quietly, listening to Garcia read to him about the boy living in a cupboard under the stairs. Emily borrowed the tape from JJ and began to layer tape on a navy blue pillow case, taping it up over the window like a curtain, covering the small hole in the wall. Then she took out a white ribbon and tied it around the middle of the pillow case bunching it up and making it look a little less… well… like a pillow case taped over the window. Rossi chuckled at the sight.

JJ dug through Garcia’s bag and pulled out a little bamboo plant in a plastic pot, and set it on the desk. Emily dug around as well and pulled out a little Febreeze Noticeable Plug In. She inserted the scented oil bottles into the Plug In and stuck it into the outlet. Within seconds, the scent drifted through the room. It was a sweet, warm scent that made one think of Autumn.

Then JJ and Emily stepped onto the bed, carefully stepping over Reid, and taped up a large copy of the promotional poster for Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, as well as a couple of small prints, including one of Einstein, one of Stephen Hawking, and one of Mr. Spock.

At this point, Morgan had joined in the fun, and taped up a poster on the wall opposite of Reid’s bed; it was a map of Middle Earth, and put up a copy of the Periodic Table of Elements over the boy’s desk.

“… It’s a geek’s paradise.” Rossi murmured to Hotch, and the man grinned.

“Done!” JJ announced. Hotch smiled and walked in.

“I have one more thing for you, Spencer.” Hotch said, walking in. He knelt beside the bed and pulled something out of his wallet. “Here. Hold on to this for me?”

Reid blinked and reached out, taking the little rectangular piece of paper. He turned it over and looked at it. And then, for the first time in two weeks, he smiled.

It was a photo of the team’s Fourth of July Barbecue. Hotch and Reid were sitting at the picnic table with Jack sitting between them. All three were grinning and leaning in together.

“There’s that gorgeous smile.” Garcia cooed.

Rossi entered the room at that point. It was starting to get crowded in there.

“I brought you this.” Rossi said, and held out a nice, wooden chess set for Reid to see, before he turned and put it on the desk.

“I tried to bring you some dirty magazines but they wouldn’t let me.” Morgan chuckled, and Reid smiled again. “So instead, I brought you THIS!” And Morgan dove into Garcia’s bag and pulled out a bag… it was McDonalds. “Still warm!” And he pulled out the fries and offered them to Reid. Reid stared, eyes wide.

“Please, Spencer?” Hotch asked, smiling and sitting down on the side of the bed.

A few minutes later, Dr. Harris paused as he walked down the hall… was that… burgers and fries?!

Sniffing the air, he found himself outside of Spencer Reid’s room. The boy’s team was sitting around enjoying McDonalds. At first, he was going to run in and scold them. But then he saw his patient. The boy was eating. He was SMILING. This was the first time Dr. Harris had ever seen the young man smile. But he could still see the depression in the boy’s eyes. Guilt flooded through him.

He wanted to barge into that room and tell all of those people to take their beloved teammate home... nothing was wrong with him. He was fine!

But then he thought about what would happen if he did… to his ex wife… to his daughters… And he closed his eyes and walked past the room, leaving his patient where he was. But as far as he was concerned, the boy’s team was welcome any time if they could get the boy to eat and give him a little bit of happiness. The boy deserved it.

Dr. Harris entered his office and closed the door behind himself, closing his eyes and fighting back tears. And he tried to figure out how to get out of this situation without someone getting hurt… Like Dr. Devereux.

All conversation in Reid’s room stopped when JJ’s phone rang. She excused herself and stepped out into the corridor. The team waited, tense. The look on hr face when she returned confirmed their fears.

“Sorry Spence.” She said, softly. Then she looked at Hotch. “San Diego needs us. It’s urgent.”

Hotch sighed, looking down at his young lover. Reid looked at him. “You know we’ll be back as soon as we can, baby.” Hotch said. Reid offered him a small smile, and nodded. Hotch smiled back and leaned over, gently kissing the boy’s forehead. “You behave yourself. And eat. Please. You’re losing too much weight.”

Reid sighed and nodded, curling up under his blanket. One by one, the team bade him goodbye, and then he was left alone. He clutched his bear close and nestled down into his blanket, closing his eyes. And with a belly full of more food than he had eaten in the past three days combined, Reid drifted off to sleep, not even waking when the lunch call came out half an hour later. Riley stopped in to check on him and was surprised by the dramatic change in the young man’s room, but he smiled and stepped in, tucked the blankets tightly around the patient and removing the ribbon from the pillow case on the window, letting it cover the barred glass completely. Then he flicked off the lights and quietly closed the door.
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Edge of Insanity