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Torch Songs for Two	By : Veresna Category: G through L > House Views: 4667 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own House, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Chapter 07:� My Melancholy Baby

��
Cuddy was sitting in one of her
office chairs, a folder propped open against her lap, when she heard a soft
knock.� She turned and saw Wilson
opening the door.

�Hey,� he said, leaning against the
handle and looking at her with a puzzled expression on his face.� �You still here?� he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders.� �No point in going home now, the board
meeting is due to start in less than fifteen minutes.�

He looked even more perplexed.� �I thought you weren�t going to the meeting
tonight?�

She tossed the folder onto the
table in front of her.� �Change of
plans,� she said, shortly.

�So, I wasted all that time talking
to Bob Smithers-or, rather-listening to Bob Smithers, giving him your
excuse for not being there tonight, and it was all for nothing?� he asked,
stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him.

�Sorry,� she said, smiling
apologetically, �when I asked you to do that last week, I really expected not
to be here tonight,� she explained.

He stopped in front of her, pushing
back his labcoat so that he could thrust his hands into his pockets, and gazed
down into her face.

�You�ve been crying,� he said,
softly.

She sighed and laughed shortly.� �Is it that obvious?� she asked, leaning back
and reaching up to brush the hair away from her face.

�Well, you probably might like to
fix your makeup before you go to the board meeting,� he said, gently.� �But it was mainly the fact that you were
sitting with your back towards the door that initially made me suspicious,� he
admitted.

She smiled ruefully and shrugged
her shoulders again as he sat down in the chair next to hers.

�I only know of one person who
makes you cry,� he said.� He picked up
the tissue box that was sitting in the table in front of him and held it out to
her.

She took one of the tissues, and
blew her nose.� �Yep,� she admitted.

�You want to tell me what he did-or
said-this time?� he asked.

She shook her head and pulled
another tissue out of the box to wipe her eyes.

�All right, I won�t pry,� he said, putting
the box back down on the table.

�You�re not prying, Wilson,�
she said.�

They looked at each other and
smiled.

�Okay, maybe you are, but it�s not
that I mind.� It�s just that I�m not
ready to talk about it, not quite yet,� she said, balling up the tissues and
throwing them into the nearby trash can.

�Well, if it�s any consolation to
you, neither is House,� he said, raising his eyebrows.

She looked at him quizzically.

�He was sitting in my office when I
came in today,� began Wilson.� �My supposedly locked
office, of course.�

�Of course,� she said, rolling her
eyes.

�So, I said:� �What�s up?�.�
And he just sat there, and went-�

He opened his mouth and left it
gape open for several seconds, closed it without saying anything, turned his
head slightly to the side, and repeated the action.

�He did that for about five times,
actually, before he finally just got up and left,� Wilson
said, raising his hands.� �I�m sorry that
he made you cry,� he said, shaking his head, �but I have to tell you that I�ve
never seen anyone leave House speechless before,� he teased.

She managed a wan smile.

�I think I managed to throw a
monkey wrench into his �master plan�,� she admitted, propping her elbow on the
chair and leaning her head tiredly against her palm.

�You finally figured out what he�s
been up to this month?� asked Wilson.

�Not exactly, but I at least have a
better idea than I did before I talked to him this morning.�

�Okay,� he said, rising to his
feet, �just let me know if you ever get to the point of wanting to talk to me
about it.� I�ll be here.�

�You always are,� she said, putting
out her hand to him as she smiled.

He helped her to her feet.� �Go freshen up.� I�ll wait and we can walk up to the meeting
together,� he told her.

�All right,� she said, striding
over to retrieve her purse from her desk.

�But, I gotta tell you,� he said,
crossing his arms.� �If there are only
two seats left by the time we get up there and one of them is next to Bob-�

Cuddy laughed.� �Don�t worry, I�ll
sit next to him.� I won�t make you run
interference for me again tonight.�

It was over two hours later before
they finally finished with the meeting.� The
planned agenda had already been lengthy enough, but a discussion regarding
House�s latest case had added at least an hour onto the proceedings.� A few of the board members had expressed
their dissatisfaction with Cameron�s decision to initiate the heightened
biosafety precautions.� But the rest of
the board had firmly supported her, arguing that it was far better to have
assumed the worst rather than hesitating and allowing a potentially deadly
epidemic to hit the city.

There was also much discussion
devoted to House�s investigation of the case and the fact that he had ended up
treating the family with a combination of drugs that could have potentially
worsened rather than alleviated their illness.�
Board members were again divided between those who thought he had once
again proved his incalculable value to the hospital, while others murmured that
one of these days his luck was going to run out, and he would end up doing
something that would damage the facility�s reputation beyond repair.�

Cuddy was glad when the
conversation finally turned to how the hospital was dealing with the intense
media scrutiny regarding the unusual case, and she was happy to report that the
hospital�s Public Relations department had the situation well in hand.� The absolute minimum amount of information
regarding the case was being released with the maximum amount of politeness, and
any potential �leaks� to the media were being firmly plugged as they were
found.

�That always surprises me,� Bob
Smithers noted.� �House is the most
arrogant jerk you could ever meet,� he sputtered, as the board nodded its
assent, �but you won�t find him pontificating in front of the cameras, seeking
publicity in cases like this,� he admitted.

�House doesn�t want fame, he wants
to solve puzzles,� Wilson
said.� �That�s what gives him a high.�

�That and the Vicodin,� someone
said, sotto voice.

Laughter filled the boardroom for a
moment.

�Well, ladies and gentlemen,� Cuddy
said, folding her hands in front of her.�
�I guess I am once more vindicated in my choice to hire and retain Dr.
House as an employee.� Despite his numerous
deficiencies as regards his character and personality-�

She hesitated for a moment, and
then shrugged.� �-the son-of-a-bitch
still manages to be one of the best doctors I�ve ever known.�

She shared Wilson�s
umbrella as they walked out to their cars.�
It had been overcast and dreary for most of the day, but by nightfall
there were thunder storms rolling through the area.� He gave her another quick smile as she slid
into the seat, waiting until she had backed out of her space before waving goodbye
and hurrying over to his own car.

The rain continued to intensify,
and she had to keep her wipers going at full force as she drove through the
water-filled streets.��

Stopping at a small strip mall near
her house, she dashed into the video store to return some overdue DVDs that she
had been carrying around in her purse for almost a week.� As she came out of the store, she caught a
tantalizing whiff of the aroma emanating from the Chinese restaurant located a
few doorways down in the mall.� She
closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.� She
had not been hungry all day, a small salad had sufficed for lunch and she had
merely picked at the chicken sandwich that she had brought to the board
meeting.� But now, her growling stomach
suddenly demanded something more filling, something more comforting, she
admitted to herself as she made her way down the wet sidewalk to the restaurant
doorway.

The elderly oriental lady at the
counter smiled at her as she approached.

�Table or take out?� she asked, in
heavily accented English.

�To go,� said Cuddy, unfolding one
of the paper menus and perusing it.� �An
order of fried wontons, and one-no make that two-spring rolls,
please,� she said.

�That all?� the woman asked,
writing down the order.

�Yes, no-� she said, as her stomach
grumbled again.� �Add an order of Kung
Pao Chicken and Moo Shu Vegetables too, please,�

About twenty minutes later, she was
opening the door to her house, her right leg propping it open as she held her
cell phone to her ear with one hand while carrying her purse and the bag full
of Chinese food in the other.� She
continued to talk as she turned around and slid the deadbolt into place.

The phone had rung just as she was
getting out of her car, and she was now in the midst of helping to arrange for
a last-minute transplant.� The intended
recipient in Philadelphia had died
while the donor heart was on route.�
Princeton-Plainsboro was the nearest hospital with a suitably-matched
recipient, but even they were going to be hard-pressed to rush the patient in
and arrange for the transplant before the organ was too old to be used.� She had told her transplant team to go ahead
and call the patient in. �Meanwhile, she
would be making the necessary arrangements to have the heart delivered by
helicopter to the hospital, and would also make sure that there was an
operating suite available.� She ended the
call, dumped her purse and the bag on her kitchen counter, and swiftly dialed
another number.

She managed to fill a teapot with
hot tap-water and put a kettle filled with cold water on to boil as she juggled
the phone through half a dozen more phone calls.� She had just finalized the arrangements, and
was beginning to pour the boiling water into the pot, when her phone rang
again.�

This time, it was the ER calling to
inform her of another critical case.� A man
with a burst abdominal aneurysm had been admitted, and she was going to have to
make sure that another surgical team, operating room, and immense amounts of
blood products were available as well.�
By the time she had finished arranging staffing and resources for this
latest catastrophe, her tea was cold and over-steeped.� Throwing the dark liquid down the drain, she
began all over again.�

This time, as the kettle was
heating, she walked to her bedroom and wearily peeled off her clothes, returning
to the kitchen dressed in one of her warm and worn flannel robes and a pair of
flip-flop slippers.� She fielded one more
phone call, this one from a local newspaper regarding the poisoning case, and
then began to unwrap the by now thoroughly cold Chinese food.� Removing the little metal carrying hooks from
the containers, she put them into the microwave and poured out a cup of hot,
perfectly brewed tea and added two generous spoonfuls of sugar while the food
was heating.� Digging a pair of
chopsticks out of the drawer, she took the cartons out of the microwave and
piled them onto a tray, along with the packets of condiments and her cup of tea
and a plate.� Lifting it up, she walked
down the hallway to her living room.�
Using her elbow to flip on the light, she put the tray down on top of
her coffee table.� �Flipping off her slippers, she settled down on
the couch.

She had just reached down to pick
up her cup, however, when her cell phone, which she had thrown into the pocket
of her robe, began to ring again.� She
wearily dug it out of her pocket, flipped it open and then groaned out loud as
she read the name displayed on the screen.

�House, G.� it announced.

She stared down at it as it
continued to ring.� She supposed there
might be a chance that he was calling her regarding either his last case or a
new one, but her gut instinct told her it had nothing to do with work.� Placing the phone down next to the tray, she
picked up the cup and took a sip as she silently counted the rings.� They finally ceased, and she vowed to eat at
least one wonton before she checked her voice mail to see if he had left a
message.� Just as she reached out to pick
up the morsel, however, the phone once more began to ring.� A quick glance at the screen confirmed that
the call was coming from House again.

She sat back with the wonton in one
hand and the cup of tea in the other, alternatively crunching and sipping as
she waited for the ringing to stop.� As
before, it stopped only to resume again after a brief pause of a few seconds.� This went on for several minutes, and she had
eaten two wontons by the time it began to ring for a sixth time.� Pausing to lick the crumbs off of her
fingers, she sighed and reached down to pick up the phone.

�This had better be about work,�
she snarled.

�I�m in the neighborhood,� he
informed her, sounding absolutely unruffled by the anger in her voice.� �Can I stop in?�

�No, you can�t,� she informed him,
shortly.

�Why not?�

Because I
don�t want to see you, you bastard.

But she managed to control
herself.� Raising a hand to her forehead,
she instead replied, �Because I�m already in bed, House.� Whatever you want to talk about will just have
to wait until tomorrow.�

�Really?� she heard him say, as she
held the phone out in preparation of hitting the button to break the
connection.� �I could swear that you�re
sitting on your couch eating Chinese food.�

She stared down at the phone for a
moment, and then her eyes flicked over to the window.� The drapes were parted, and even against the
darkness, she could see the rain pouring against the glass.� Slowly unfolding her legs from underneath
her, she got to her feet and crept across the room, the cell phone still held
in her hand.� Even though she was
expecting it, she still jumped back in surprise as his head suddenly popped
into view as he leaned over to peer back at her through the window.� He was holding his cell phone to his ear.

�It�s kind of wet out here,� he
informed her, his voice coming through the phone as she read his lips through
the glass.

She took another step forward and
then smiled at him.

�Good!� she said, reaching over to
click off the phone as she simultaneously snapped the curtains shut.

Outside, House pursed his lips and
stood still for a moment, before slowly lowering the phone and switching it
off.� He was still trying to jam the
phone into his pocket when he heard the sound of the deadbolt sliding
open.� A beam of light shot out as the
door opened, illuminating his figure.

He turned and peered at her with
his eyebrows raised.

�Amazing how a brilliant guy like
you doesn�t have the sense to come in out of the rain,� she said, reluctantly
pushing the door all the way open.

�You moved the key you used to keep
under that planter,� he grumbled, making his way towards her.

�Yeah, and I see you checked them
all out,� she noted, looking down and seeing that all the potted plants near
the doorway had been shuffled to different places.� �You didn�t want to pick the lock?� she
asked.

�Didn�t want to show off,� he said,
stepping across the threshold.

�Oh, my god, you are soaking wet,�
she said, as he stepped into the bright light of the foyer.

She leaned over and peered out into
her driveway.

�You drove your motorcycle on a
night like this?� she shrieked.

Looking like a naughty boy who has
just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he nodded his head.

�I didn�t hear you drive up,� she
said, looking puzzled.� �Even with the
microwave going-�

�I walked it the last block,� he
admitted, as he nudged the door closed behind him, �to make sure you wouldn�t
hear me.�

She sighed and looked down at his
feet.� Although his entire body was wet,
his jeans were absolutely drenched below the knee, with water dripping off of
his shoes.

�Stay there!� she ordered.� �And do not step on my carpeting,�
she said, pointing at him to remain on the small rectangle of tile by the
door.� I�m going to go get some towels.�

She headed towards her
bedroom.� �Take off your socks and
shoes!� she called, disappearing into her room.

�The jeans are pretty wet too,� he
informed her, hopefully.

Her head briefly reappeared in the
doorway.� �Don�t press your luck!� she
snapped.

He waited until she was gone from
view before allowing himself a small, sly smile.� �Didn�t think I�d get this far,� he murmured
to himself.

He turned and looked at the door, momentarily
lifting his hand to the deadbolt but letting it fall without locking it again,
apparently deciding that it would also be pressing his luck to attempt to lock
the door just yet.

He was finishing removing his right
sock when she strode down the hallway, carrying two towels in her arms.

�It�s a little hard to balance on
the bad leg,� he mumbled, apologetically, as he tossed the footwear to the
floor.�

She nodded, understanding that,
even with the cane, he didn�t have enough strength to stand on his right leg
while attempting to remove the shoe and sock from his left foot.

�Fine,� she murmured, throwing the
towels on the floor.� She bent down to
untie his shoe and allowed him to lean gently down on her shoulder as she
peeled off the shoe and sock.

But the tenderness in that gesture
was immediately negated as she rose, picked up the towels, and threw them forcefully
against his chest, almost causing him to lose his grip on his cane as he
hurriedly caught them.

�Dry off before you come in,� she
warned, walking down the hallway and turning into the living room.

By the time he came limping into
the room, she was again curled up in a corner of the couch, this time munching
on the end of a spring roll as she watched him approach.� He tossed one of the towels into a chair across
from the couch, to protect the fabric from his wet jeans, sat down, and then
folded the other on top of his lap.�

He leaned over, reaching down to
retrieve the last remaining wonton from the carton.� Scowling, Cuddy also bent down and slapped
his fingers, grabbing the carton as he hastily pulled his hand away.

�I didn�t say you could eat,� she
hissed, as she placed the carton on the end table next to the couch.

�Well, I know you�re eating for two
now,� he said, making a face, �but I think there�s enough there for three.�� He pointed at the remaining cartons.

�It depends who the third person
is,� she said, picking up the wonton and tossing it into her mouth.

She swallowed it down and then
paused and went to pick up a packet of mustard.�
Tearing it open and squeezing the contents out onto the plate, she sat
back and dipped the spring roll into the mustard before taking another bite.

�If you�re just going to sit there
and watch me eat, you could have stayed outside,� she said, reaching over to
pick up her tea.

He leaned forward, placing his
elbows on his knees.

�I can�t seem to find a pregnancy
test or HCG result for you,� he said finally, folding his hands in front of
him.� �At the hospital
or at the Trenton Fertility Clinic.�

She laughed, almost choking on her
tea for a moment.� �House,� she said,
putting down her cup and smiling over at him, �with the way you snoop around,
do you really think I am stupid enough to have�
the test done under my own name, or to have it performed at any place
where you could find it?�

She leaned back against the
couch.� �I have a friend who works in a
clinic a couple blocks away from the hospital,� she informed him.� �I had the tests done there, under a false
name.�

Getting to her feet, she paused for
a moment and then frowned.� Picking up
the tray from the coffee table, she placed it on the opposite side of the couch,
out of his reach, before leaving the room.�

She was gone for less than a
minute, returning with her handbag held over her arm.� Sitting back down on the couch, she snapped
the purse open and retrieved a handful of folded papers.� She handed the pages over to him and then
looked down at the tray.� Glaring back at
House, she saw that there was an empty wax paper bag sitting on the towel
beside him.

�You ate the other spring roll!�
she exclaimed, looking thoroughly disgusted.

�I�m hungry!� he said, shrugging
his shoulders and leaning back to unfold the papers.

�I don�t care!� she retorted.� Shaking her head, she leaned over to pick up
her chopsticks.� Opening up two of the other
cartons, she proceeded to put a generous helping of rice and the chicken entree
onto the plate and then sat back and took a few bites as he read over the
reports.

She had been watching him out of
the corner of her eye, and had seen his smile as he read the name of �Tripper,
Candace S.� at the top of the report.

�Looks good,� he said, setting the
papers on the table beside him.

�The results or the food?� she
asked, peering at him over the plate.

�Both,� he said, sitting back and
eyeing the open cartons hungrily.

�Here,� she said, reaching down and
tossing something over to him.� �Have a
fortune cookie.�

He caught it with one hand and
immediately moved to tear open the wrapper.

�Just don�t believe it if your
fortune says you�re going to get lucky tonight,� she
informed him.

He broke the cookie open and popped
a portion into his mouth as he turned over the small piece of paper.� �It says:�
�Flattery will always smooth the way for your journey�.� He put the rest
of the cookie into his mouth and then looked at her with a hopeful smile on his
face as he batted his eyes.

She smiled sweetly back at him, but
shook her head firmly.

He took his time crunching the
cookie and swallowing it down before speaking again.

�Can I explain it to you now?� he
said, finally, tossing the fortune onto the table beside the reports.

�I don�t know,� she said, frowning
down at a piece of chicken she was holding in the chopsticks before bringing it
up to her mouth.� �Can you?� she asked,
over the mouthful of food.

�I�ve been researching TGA,� he
said, leaning forward on his elbows again.

�Hmm,� she said, reaching over and
putting a pancake down on her plate, �this should be good,� she murmured, as
she spread the Moo Shu vegetables over it.

�The food or the explanation?� he
asked.

�I�m betting both,� she replied, as
she folded the pancake over.

�The vast majority of people who
have suffered a TGA episode never have a second attack,� he said.

�Agreed,� she said, nodding her
head and taking a bite.

�However, in a very small minority
of patients, it begins to happen repeatedly, and they can end up with very
severe, permanent brain damage.�

�Okay,� she said, swallowing.

�You have a very high stress job.�

�With you so far,� she said, taking
another bite.

�You are very healthy, but a
post-40 pregnancy can be extremely stressful-on both your body and your mind.�

�Oh, come off it, House, that�s
ridiculous!� she exclaimed, putting her plate down.� �Do you seriously expect me to think that you
selflessly had yourself �snipped� to save me from the agony of another TGA
attack because I just might be susceptible to one if I got pregnant?� she
asked.

�Well-�

�Hey, you know what?� If you wanted to do something to reduce my
stress level, quit!� she urged.� �Not
having you as an employee would make my job-and my life-a lot less difficult.�

He frowned and looked down at the
floor.

�Now, what were the trigger factors
for TGA?� she asked, thoughtfully pressing a finger to her lips.� �Let�s see:�
cold water, exercise, oh, what was the third one again?� Oh, that�s right,� she said, suddenly
brightening and getting to her feet.�
�Humping!� she said, thrusting her hips into the air.�

�Uh, you might want to be a little
careful,� he urged, wrinkling his forehead and putting out his hand.� �Don�t want to jar anything loose in there,�
he said, leaning back in his chair as she stopped and smiled at him.

�But, since you had the vasectomy,
you were still planning on humping me, right House?� she asked, sounding
puzzled.� �Oh, I guess for some reason you
figured I could handle the sex, but not getting knocked up?�

She shrugged and sat back down,
picking up the plate again.� �I think
there are more than a few holes in that argument.�

�It doesn�t really matter does it?�
he asked, frowning as he massaged his neck.�
�Now that you�re already pregnant, we are just going to have to deal
with it,� he said, reaching out to pick up the lab reports again.

�We are going to have to
deal with it, House?� she asked, taking another bite.

�Well, I can�t trust you to be
reasonable about this, can I?� he snarled, frowning down at the pages.� �Remember how you were last year when you
were treating Ella?�

�I don�t remember treating an Ella
last year,� she said, furrowing her brow.

�The
forty-something pregnant photographer?�

�Her name was Emma,� she corrected.

�And you knew who I meant,� he snapped,
reaching over and picking up the carton of Kung Pao chicken.� Using his fingers, he reached in and pulled
out a piece of chicken.� �You did
everything wrong, getting emotionally involved and making bad decisions, all
because you wanted her to keep the fetus,� he said, before tossing the meat
into his mouth.

�Yes, I wanted her to have the baby,�
she said.� �Which she
did.�

�Against the odds,� he argued.� �If you couldn�t make a rational decision in
that case, you sure as hell aren�t going to be able to handle any complications
with your own pregnancy.�� He frowned and
began to dig around in the carton with his fingers.

�Oh, for god�s sake!� she barked,
getting to her feet.� �You want a fork or
a pair of chopsticks?� she asked, in a resigned tone.

�Chopsticks,� he said, licking his
fingers.� �I�ll just eat it out of the
carton, you don�t have to bring a plate,� he told her, graciously, as she
walked out of the room.�

He waited until he heard her pull
out a drawer in the kitchen.

�A beer would be nice, though,� he
called out.�

He smiled as he heard the drawer
slamming shut.� But, to his surprise, she
was carrying an open bottle of beer in one hand when she returned to the room
with the chopsticks.

He jumped back slightly as she
thrust the chopsticks towards his face.�
He took them from her and then watched as she leaned over to pull out a
drawer and get out a coaster.�

Putting the coaster on the table,
she sat the beer bottle down on top of it and returned to the couch.

He had the lab reports spread out
over his lap, and he frowned as he began to use the chopsticks to feed himself
as he read through them again.

�The levels look really good,� he
said, stabbing the chopsticks down into the carton so that he could reach out
and take a swig from the beer bottle.� �Doubling nicely.�

�Yep,� she said, finishing up her
pancake and wiping her hands and mouth with a paper napkin before tossing it
into one of the empty cartons.

�But, this early in the pregnancy,
even an ectopic pregnancy might be giving you numbers
like this,� he said, setting the bottle back down.� �Besides the added risk of
a multiple births with Clomid.� Have you had an ultrasound yet?�

She laughed and moved to wrap her
robe more tightly around herself.� �I
didn�t even dare to do the pregnancy test until last week,� she reminded him.

�Well,� he said, carefully putting
the papers back into a stack with one hand as he continued to hold the carton
in the other, �Wang is scheduled to cover clinic tomorrow.� Since he filled in for me today, I could
offer to take his shift tomorrow.�

She looked at him and raised her
eyebrows.

�You could stop in to the clinic
for a couple minutes and I could do one for you,� he said, shrugging his
shoulders as he set the papers on the table.�
�I assume you could be discreet about it,� he said, cocking his head to
the side.

She stared down at her hands for
several seconds.�

�I�ll think about it,� she finally
said, lifting her head to look back at him.

He shrugged and picked up the beer
bottle, taking several swallows this time.

�I also assume you are going to opt
for chorionic villus sampling
rather than amniocentesis?� he said, tilting the bottle back and forth in his
hand as he studied it.

�Who says I�m going to have
either?� she challenged.

He rolled his eyes and placed the
bottle back on the table.� �C�mon, Cuddy,
even if you would absolutely refuse to terminate, you�d want to get a heads-up
on any problems, wouldn�t you?�

She leaned her head back against
the couch, continuing to watch him without saying a word as he set the carton down
on the coffee table.

��You�re Rh-positive, and you�ve been taking
folic acid, so there�s no reason to wait longer to have an amniocentesis done
instead.�� He reached into the inner
pocket of his jacket to pull out a calendar.�
�We should be scheduling a CVS for five to seven weeks from now,� he
said, frowning as he consulted the calendar. �I also looked up miscarriage
rates for the procedure in the tri-state area.�
There are a couple of women and a guy whose rates are a lot lower than
average,� he said, unfolding a piece of paper from the back of the
calendar.� She could see that he had
names, addresses and phone numbers written down on the page.

�Grrr,� she murmured, suddenly,
clenching her hands into angry fists as she slowly rose from the couch.

�You okay?� he said, looking at her
uncertainly as the piece of paper dangled from his fingertips.

�Mmmmmmmmmmmm,�
she moaned, wordlessly, as she began to pace around the room with her hands on
her hips.� He watched as she shook her
head and walked back and forth across the room, uncertain if she had answered
him with a yes or a no.

�Damn you, House,� she finally
said, stopping in front of him.� �Did you
have to do that?� she asked, pointing down at the paper.

�I�m�only trying to help,� he said,
looking up at her with concern.

She sighed loudly.� �You deserve to be suffering for a much
longer time than this,� she said, shaking her head again.

�I have eight more months of this
to look forward to, don�t I?� he asked, doubtfully.

�Oh, I wish,� she muttered, using
both hands to brush her hair back from her face.

With a small cry of disgust, she
knelt down in front of his chair.� She
took the paper from his hand and studied it for a moment, and then tore it in
half and tossed it on the floor.

�I�m not pregnant, House,� she
said, looking up at him.

�� She watched
as a look of doubt, relief, and wariness crossed his face in rapid succession.

�� Did you
think you were the only one capable of making up false lab reports?� she asked,
leaning over to prop her arms on either side of his legs.

�� What do
you mean,� he asked, narrowing his eyes.

�� Hey, I
know,� she said, reaching out to pick up the towel that was still across his
lap, and tossing it on the floor.� �Why
don�t you go ahead and show me your surgical scars?� she asked, pointing at his
crotch as she smiled up at him.

�� They�re
gone now,� he said, looking suddenly uneasy.�
�Nothing to see,� he protested, leaning back slightly.

�� Yeah, I
guess they do disappear pretty quickly, don�t they?� she said, wrinkling her
brow.� �Especially
those invisible ones from those imaginary procedures.�

�� He regarded
her silently for several moments.� �You
sound very sure of yourself,� he said, finally, a hint of grudging admiration
in his voice as he leaned back towards her.

�� You didn�t
have a vasectomy,� she stated, calmly.

�� How do you
know?� he challenged.

�� Because Wilson
and I were stupid enough to be concerned about you when you called off for
those three days,� she told him, crossing her arms.� �Luckily, Amber was able to hang around your
place and watch what you were doing.�

�� Just
because she didn�t see me go to the doctor�s office-�

�� Oh, that�s
right, she didn�t follow you whenever you left your apartment,� she said,
nodding her head.� �But she did tell us
that you seemed to be doing an awful lot of driving around that week,� she
added, as her smile widened.

�� So?� said House, still sounding unconvinced.

�� Of course,
I was a little suspicious to begin with.�
The way you have pissed off every other doctor in this state, I really
doubted that you would let anyone get within a mile of your genitals with a
scalpel in his or her hand,� said Cuddy, shaking her head.� �But, if you had a vasectomy, you would have
been lying at home with your sack packed in ice and a dozen pillows underneath
it,� she laughed.� �Not bouncing
around on your freaking motorcycle.�

�Damn!� said House, wrinkling his
nose and shaking his head.� He sat back
in his chair and screwed up his eyes in concentration.� �You evil, cunning woman, you knew,�
he said slowly, opening his eyes and looking down at her, �from the moment I
said I had it done on those days-�

�That you were ly-ing!�
she exclaimed, opening her eyes wide as she emphasized the word.

�You thought up a pretty quick lie
in return!� he retorted.

�Oh, I was so pissed at you,� she
said, reaching out to slap him hard on the knee.�

�Ouch!�

She rose to her feet.�

�I mean, it was hurtful enough to
think that you would have had it done.�
But it was even worse to know that you hadn�t, and that you were just saying
you had to screw with my mind.�

�Why would I do that?�

�Oh, god, House!� I have known you for how many years now?� she
asked, looking up at the ceiling.� �I
can�t even begin to imagine all the fine details in this grand, Machiavellian
scheme you were plotting.� But at least I
knew enough from the way you were behaving to be extra suspicious.�

She bent down to clear a space on
the coffee table so that she could sit down directly in front of him.

�I also talked to Stacy,� she said.

�And?�

�And she confirmed my suspicions that
there was no way you were holding me at arm�s length for the entire month
without planning to reel me in later,� she said.� �She, Wilson, and I all knew you were up to
something, we just couldn�t quite figure out what,� she admitted.

She paused and propped her elbows
on her knees, cupping her chin in her hands.�
�We were really enjoying ourselves before my attack, weren�t we?� she
asked, with a wide grin on her face.

�Absolutely,� he assured her,
looking perplexed at her sudden change in mood.

�I mean the sex was actually really
good-�

�Why do you always sound so
surprised when you say that?� he asked, sounding clearly annoyed.

�Because I know it bugs you,� she
replied, happily.� �But the companionship
outside of bed was awfully nice too, wasn�t it?� she asked, quietly.

He smiled slightly, but did not
reply.

�Of course, the fact that we were
sneaking around, �doing it on the sly� made it a little more fun for both of us,
didn�t it?�

�Oh, definitely,� he replied, his
smile broadening into a naughty grin.

�Then I had my attack,� she said,
dropping her gaze from his face as she lowered her hands to her knees.� �And, all of a sudden, you were loudly
proclaiming to everyone, that the only reason I was sleeping with you
was because I wanted to get pregnant.�
Why was that, House?� she asked, looking back up at him.� �Were you afraid that it was true?� Or did you just feel you had to say it before
someone else did?

�Are you saying getting pregnant
isn�t important to you?� he challenged.

�Not at all,� she said, shaking her
head.� �But, you have purposefully
distanced yourself from me ever since then.�
You came to my hospital room, but you didn�t kiss me, you didn�t even touch
me.� Then you did the same thing to
me in the clinic that day.�

�You think I did that on purpose?�
he asked.

�You�re damn right, I do,� she
said.� �Especially
because you didn�t come near me for the rest of the week.� I mean, you always find some reason to
stop in my office, whether it�s to discuss a case or to complain about your parking
space, or to bitch about the price of coffee in the cafeteria.� At the very least, I expected you to be the
one coming in to crow to me that Foreman had nearly let a patient expire in the
hallway.� But, no.� I finally had to come to you, under the pretense
of having to break up the fight between you and Foreman.�

�You didn�t care that we were
fighting?�

�Well, it had definitely gotten out
of hand, but I could have called Foreman into my office instead of going over
to yours,� she said.�

�But then you wouldn�t have seen
me,� he said, reaching over to twirl his cane.

�Exactly.�� She paused for a moment.� �You must have been thrilled that I was going
to be out of town for a week, that worked right into
your plan to make sure I�d be lonesome for your company, didn�t it?�

�You really think I had this �grand
plan�?� he said, tossing the cane aside.

�Definitely.� Why else would you have been in my office my
first day back at work, so eager to find out whether or not I had my period
while I was in Atlanta?� You were so damn happy to find out I had that
you were practically skipping on your way out of my office.�

�I don�t exactly skip these days,�
he said, furrowing his brow.

�Believe me,
given your handicap, you were doing an amazing approximation.� So I knew that, whatever you were planning,
it depended on my not being pregnant yet.� Which is why, by the way, it was the first
lie to come to my mind after I figured out you were lying to me this morning.�

She sighed and closed her
eyes.� �Then, through this week of hell,
you still didn�t come into my office or even call me once,� she said, opening
her eyes and shaking her head.� �Everyone
else on your team was coming to me.� Even
Cameron was consulting with me.� But you
were bound and determined to stay in your own little cave, making me come to
you.� And when I did come to you this
morning, you made sure I was more than ready to jump back into bed with you
before you decided to inform me that, �Oops, might be a slight problem if the
only reason you want to have sex with me is because you want to get pregnant�.�

�Didn�t I know that would make you
furious?�

�Oh, of course you did.� You also know that the times I am hottest for
you is right after you�ve infuriated me,� she said, leaning forward.

He bent his head again, but she had
seen a definite gleam in his eyes before he had dropped his gaze to the floor.

�And, as childish as you can be,
you can be amazingly patient at times.�

�Really?� he said, furrowing his
brow as he raised his eyes back to her face.

�You went after Stacy after
diagnosing Mark.� First,� she said, starting
to tick the examples off on her fingers, �you went through his group therapy file
to find out what problems they were having, then you started hanging around her
house, doing the chores that she complained Mark was neglecting, then you
stepped in to catch a rat for her since the exterminator had conveniently been
told not to come.� Shall I go on?� she
asked, pausing to catch her breath.

�No,� he said, shaking his head and
leaning back in the chair.

�Unluckily for you, she figured
it out right away.� Otherwise, you were
prepared to hang around for months waiting for the moment when she would be
vulnerable enough to turn to you.�

�Something like
that,� he admitted, pulling at his ear.

�As for me�� She shrugged her shoulders.� �I mean, we finally got back together years
after a disastrous �one night stand�.�
Now that the sex was actually terrific, I guess you figured all you
would have to do is wait until some night when I was
lonely enough, or reckless enough, or inebriated enough to turn to you for sex
again.� I guess you didn�t really care
why I would come back to you, just as long as it was not for �strictly
procreative� reasons.� Is there another
possibility I�m missing?�

�You could have gone back to the
sperm bank and gotten pregnant that way,� he said.

�How would that help you?� she
asked, looking completely perplexed.

�Some studies have shown that
women, particularly women over forty who are pregnant for the first time, can
get tremendously horny during their second trimester,� he informed her.

She stared at him.

�And I would be hanging around,
offering medical advice, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on-�

�A bed to jump into?� she asked.

He shrugged and smiled.� �You do remember how nicely my quo
fits into your quid?�

�You�re incorrigible,� she said,
breaking into a smile.

�I know,� he said, nodding his head
again.

�And you�re a jerk,� she said,
leaning towards him.

�I know,� he repeated.

�And I�ve missed you,� she said,
bending down closer to him.

�I-�

But before he could get to the next
word, her lips were on top of his.� It
took only a moment before he responded, spreading his legs apart so that he
could pull her closer to him as they continued to kiss and embrace.� She opened her lips and he flicked his tongue
very gently into her mouth, savoring her sweet, tangy taste.� They kissed for over a minute before he
finally pulled back slightly, loosening his grip but not completely
relinquishing his hold.� They looked at
each other wordlessly, and then he bent down to kiss her, very softly, on the
nose.

�Hmm,� he said.

She followed his gaze downward and
smiled as he stared down the front of her robe.

�Looks like the twins have missed
me, too,� he said, smiling triumphantly.

�Yeah,� she admitted, smiling up at
him.

�So, what do we do now?� he asked.

She closed her eyes and took in a
deep breath.� �I have a compromise for
you,� she began, opening her eyes.� �I
know it�s not your style,� she added, as he grimaced at the word, �but hear me
out.�

��I haven�t been taking the Clomid
this month,� she said.

He looked at her quizzically.

�I�ve already been on it nearly
five months without results, and we both know there wasn�t much point continuing
on with it after another month or two anyway,� she said, shrugging her
shoulders.� �Besides, I�m tired of how it
makes me feel, and I�m really tired of having sex based on my ovulation
schedule,� she said, shaking her head.

�So, how about we start having sex
and being together whenever we both feel like it instead?� she asked, propping
her chin on his left knee.� �Although I
would also ask that we not use contraception.�

�Just let things happen?� he asked.

�Again, not your style, but yeah,�
she said, reaching up to rub her hand across his cheek.

�You still want a baby?� he said,
looking her in the eyes.

�It would be nice,� she admitted,
smiling.� �But, it�s not the major
priority in my life like it was two years ago.�
I�ve had to deal with a lot of disappointments since then and each month
I�ve had to get a little closer to accepting the fact that it�s probably not
going to happen.�

�But, if it does-� he began.

�Then we�ll deal with it then,� she
said.� �Or, I�ll deal with it, if
you prefer.�

�Cuddy.�� He paused and she waited patiently, knowing
he was finding it very difficult to gather the courage to say what he needed to
tell her.� �I am an amazingly
fertile man,� he finally whispered, smiling down at her.�

�So, I�ve heard,� she replied,
laughing softly.

�But, I don�t know if I can be a
�dad�, even to your child,� he admitted, slowly.

There was no denying either the
pain or the honesty in his eyes as he said it.

�I know,� she said.� She smiled ruefully.� �Do you have any idea how relieved you looked
when you figured out I was telling the truth about not being pregnant?�

He nodded his head, blowing a small
whistle through his lips as he did so.

�But, you were still here, offering
to help me,� she said, nodding at the torn pieces of paper on the floor.

�Which doesn�t
mean that I�m-�

�I�m not asking you to marry me,
House,� she said, reaching out to take his hands as she interrupted him. �I�m certainly
not asking for forever, or even putting a timeline on this at all.� But, for right now, I want more than
what we�ve had the past few months, and I�m hoping you do, too.� Can we both finally be honest enough to admit
that?� she asked.

He looked at their hands for a
moment and then raised his face to hers and nodded.

�You don�t have to look so scared,�
she teased.� �Look at it this way:� we�ve been classmates, a �one-night-stand�, a
doctor and her patient, and a boss and her infuriatingly irresponsible
employee,� she said, smiling.� �And
through all that we have also, amazingly, remained friends as well.�� She shrugged. ��I think that our friendship might even be
able to withstand this, too.�

�So,� he said, tapping his foot
impatiently.� �Wanna go spawn?� he asked,
raising his eyebrows.

She laughed, but shook her
head.� �No,� she said, considering the
question carefully.� �House and Cuddy
were spawning.� I think it�s time that
Greg and Lisa went into her bedroom and made love,� she suggested.

He looked down at her and
frowned.� �I haven�t called you �Lisa�
since the day after we met,� he protested.

�Maybe it�s time we got
reacquainted,� she said, getting to her feet.�
�Need some help getting up?� she asked.

He smiled up at her roguishly.� �To which part of my body are you referring?�

�Your leg,� she said, smiling down
at him.� �Obviously the Cialis has
already kicked in and is doing wonders for the other part of you,� she observed
dryly, looking down at the front of his jeans.�
�You did take it, right?�

He nodded.

�Wasn�t that taking a chance?�

He shrugged.� �You do
tend to be pretty horny right after I�ve made you angry.� And I figured you were really pissed off at me today.�

�By the way,� he asked, leaning on
his cane as he rose to his feet, �just how long did you intend to keep
pretending you were pregnant?� I mean,
was this going to involve body padding eventually?�

She shrugged.� �I don�t know, I hadn�t thought that far
ahead, actually.� But I was pretty sure
it would be fun to watch you go crazy for a while,� she admitted, with a smile.� �But, with your determination, I knew it was
going to be tricky.� I figured the next
thing I knew you�d be slipping me a sedative in my coffee so you could strap me
down and perform the ultrasound yourself.�

�Oh, how�d you guess?� That�s my second-favorite bondage fantasy for
us.�

He grinned and moved to embrace her
again.� They kissed for a moment and then
she pushed him away, playfully.�

�Go lock the door,� she ordered,
pulling away.� �I�m going to slip into something
a little more enticing.�

�Need this?� he asked, reaching
into his pocket and handing her something.

She couldn�t help but start
laughing as she took the rubber band and stretched it out.� �Okay, maybe my �twins� aren�t identical, but
they aren�t as mismatched as this!� she protested, seeing that there was now
only one Vicodin attached to the band.

�Medical emergency,� he assured
her.

�Uh-huh,� she said.� She waited until he had started for the door
to shoot the rubber band onto his retreating form.

�It�s not nice to take advantage of
cripples!� he yelled, not turning around.

�Take your time,� she said, as she
headed towards the bedroom.� �Turn out
all the lights while you�re at it.�

�Yes, mistress,� he croaked,
exaggerating his limp as he walked towards the hallway.�

He actually did take his time
locking the door and then returning to the living room to shut off the
lights.� He then headed to the kitchen
and turned off all the lights in that room.�
As he got back to the hallway, he heard the door to her bedroom open.

�Oh,� he said, stopping shortly and
drawing in his breath.

The flannel robe was gone and in
its place was a sheer and lacy white negligee that clung to every beautiful
curve of her body.� The light shining
from behind her cast a white glow around her outline, but when he squinted he
could just make out the dark circles of her nipples underneath the thin fabric.

�Hi,� she said, smiling as he began
walking towards her.� �I�m Lisa,� she
said, holding out her hand.� �You must be
Greg.�

He grinned and put out his hand to
shake hers.

�I was hoping we�d meet again,� she
said, looking up at him.

His smile widened as he let her
pull him into the bedroom.

�
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Torch Songs for Two