In My Life

You who I cradled in my arms.

You,

Asking as little as you can.

Little snip of a little man,

I know I'd give my life for you.

You didn't ask me to be born

You,

Why should you learn of war or pain?

To be sure you're not hurt again,

I swear I'd give my life for you.

--Richard Maltby Jr.



"Well, it wasn't my first time in London." Hercules began. "I lived there for a while in the 17th century. That's when Bill taught me how to do stage make-up."



"Bill?"



"Yeah. He was a struggling playwright and sometime actor. I was even in a few of his plays. It was my first foray into acting."



"Bill's last name wasn't Shakespeare by any chance, was it?"



"Well, maybe I should give you your cigar back. Anyway, in 1840, I was back in London. I was going by the name John Robertson and as far as anyone knew, I was a native Londoner who had spent the past few years studying at the Sorbonne and had a letter of recommendation from scientist Charles Darwin."



"You knew Charles Darwin?"



"In 1931, I took a job sailing on /The Beagle/. Darwin was a brilliant mind, but a lousy sailor. Got sick all the time. Well, he needed a little muscle for his scientific discoveries and I provided it."



"What was he like?"



"He was a good man to work with. He was usually calm unless he was on the heels of a great discovery, then he could get pretty excited, even if I had no idea what he was talking about. He loved everything about the natural world. He could stare at a spider's web or a flower of a chunk of marble for hours. But, back to Eton.



"I managed to get a position at Eton as a history professor. I taught ancient history and coached the football team. Occasionally substituted for natural science, geography and French. Well, it just so happened that Dean Whitaker had this beautiful daughter named Emily.



"Emily was beautiful in every sense of the word. Gorgeous red hair, bright green eyes, a few freckles. Her mother was always scolding her to take a parasol outside so she wouldn't be so freckled, but, I thought they were cute. She loved horses. Not just riding them, she just plain loved them. She could be kind and sweet, but she could be spicy and vivacious too. She caused a bit of a scandal when she joined me and the boys out on the field. You should've seen her, running about barefoot with her skirts hiked up almost to her knees. She was wearing pantaloons, so it's not like anyone saw anything. Her mother fainted when she saw her girl traipsing through mud puddles 'like a common hoyden' as she put it."



"If memory serves, women fainted a lot then."



"It was the corsets. Emily hated wearing corsets but her mother insisted that she be laced up tighter than a sausage. Whitaker decided his wife knew best about these sorts of things and went along with her. The poor girl nearly passed out at our wedding because her stays were laced up so tight. She was beautiful, all in pearls and white antique lace. She was trying to smile, but I could see she was in pain. Had to hold off on our wedding night because the whalebones bruised her ribs.



"The champagne corks were barely dry when Mrs. Whitaker started badgering us for grandchildren. I told her it would happen when it happened. I told her it would happen sooner if she didn't keep showing up and putting me out of the mood. You should have seen the look on that old fish's face! She said 'Well, I never!' and I said "Oh, you did once. That's how Emily got here.' She just left in a huff."



"I take it you weren't very popular with the in-laws."



"Whitaker liked me well enough. I had a good reputation and I was kind to his daughter. They sometimes said I was too kind."



"Too kind? Isn't that like being too rich?"



"They said I wasn't firm enough with her, like I was her nanny or something. I realized Emily was a grown woman, not a child to be controlled or an animal to be owned. Emily's parents had a few strong words with me for 'letting' Emily dress how she wanted, read books that were scandalous at the time, ride horses like a man and go to the theater with her friends if I couldn't attend with her. I told them I didn't 'let' Emily do anything. She wasn't someone who could be controlled, and I didn't want to control her. I was just so in love with her."



Hercules leaned back and sighed. "I'm half surprised Mrs. Whitaker didn't make Emily wear a corset when she was pregnant. Well, I think I already told you, Emily didn't make it. Most of my wives have lived long enough to give me three children. Emily was the only one to die in childbirth. It was a boy. I named him Emil.



"Shortly afterwards, I had a falling out with Emily's parents. They blamed me for not making sure Emily was practically comatose for nine months. I blamed them for twisting her insides with those damn corsets. Then, they announced they were taking Emil to be raised in their home by a nanny. They said it wasn't proper for a man to take care of a child. In the dead of night, I packed a suitcase and ran off with Emil to South Hampton. Before long, we were on a steamer bound for the United States.



"The first couple of years were the toughest. I got a job in a furniture factory and the landlady would watch Emil for fifty cents a day and twenty-five cents on Saturday, since I only worked half the day then. Almost what I was paying in rent."



"Oh, yeah, I remember those days." said Autolycus. "At least you got Sunday off."



"Sunday off was practically guaranteed by law. About the only thing workers were guaranteed by law at the time. I brought the baby-sitting arrangement to a halt when I found out the landlady was doping Emil up with liquid morphine. I was helping him through withdrawal symptoms when Aphrodite popped up and read me the riot act for being 'too proud' to ask the gods for help. I told her I didn't expect help. She told me Zeus still wanted me to join him on Olympus, that he'd even extend the invitation to Emil. I said thanks, but no thanks. I told her if she really wanted to help, she could baby-sit while I worked. I think she used a little goddess magic to take care of the dirty work of taking care of a baby, but as long as it was done.



"When I found out about a wagon train heading west, I signed on. The trail bosses liked the idea of someone as strong as me on their team. Weren't too crazy about the fact that I'd be bringing a toddler with me. I told them we were a package deal.



"The trip from New York to Wisconsin took a little less than a year. They wanted me to stay on until California, but, Emil was getting to be a big boy and he needed some stability. Hazel Green was a small community then. Not much bigger now. They needed a new school teacher, so I took up on the job. Paid a whopping nineteen seventy-three a month. It was a one room school house with about forty kids between the ages of seven and seventeen. When Emil turned six, he just became another one of my students.



"The job came with a few perks. The last teacher had been an old woman who lived in a nice house on a small farm. After she died, her children didn't want it, so Emil and I lived there. She had died so suddenly that summer everyone was afraid the school wouldn't open in the fall."



"I'm sure the kids thought that would be a tragedy." Autolycus joked.



"Well, the parents were overjoyed that a new teacher had come to town. You were a teacher in the twentieth century, Autolycus, but a century ago, teachers were highly respected. An education was a highly valued thing. The work was a little tougher. No custodians, no principal, not even central heating to make things easier. Of course, if one of the students misbehaved, I could always make him do chores for me as punishment."



"The kids dared to misbehave with /you/ as the teacher?"



"First day of class, one kid tried to throw a spit wad at me. God-like reflexes just switched on automatic and I caught it in midair. Started getting respect after that."



"Sounds like you finally made good." said Autolycus. "You went from being a single dad in the tenements of New York to a respected teacher in a prairie town." Autolycus leaned back in his seat. "How /did/ we manage to survive before central air and indoor plumbing? Well, at least you had all those perks going for you."



"Well, there was one perk I wasn't too sure about at first."



"Not too sure about? What's not to like about perks?"



"Well, this perk was named Irene. She'd do a few household chores and watch Emil while I worked. She even offered to cook, but I was getting better at it and needed the practice. I only let her do this once I was assured she was not a slave. The town council paid her a dollar fifty a week, which was a dollar fifty more than she was used to getting. I tried to convince her to ask for more, but she didn't dare. Even back then, three dollars only went so far.



"Irene's husband was the local blacksmith. His name was Charley. They had a little girl named Nancy. When Irene was pregnant with Nancy, they found out that their master was planning to sell Charley. So, they ran away. Got as far north as Hazel Green, Wisconsin when Irene went into labor. They decided to stay there. Dropped their master's name and went by the name Smith.



"When Nancy was old enough, I offered to take her on as a student. Town council was dead set against it. It was one thing to offer escaped slaves a chance at a new life, but it was another to let their children attend school with their own children. So, I taught Nancy at my home. Irene sat in on the lessons and learned to read too. Eventually, she convinced Charley to join in on the lessons. Charley was a bit stubborn and proud. I've come to notice that many blacksmiths are."



"Were." Autolycus corrected. "Not that many blacksmiths today."



"There's a few. It's a dying art, but the few that still do it are more enthusiastic about it than some people are at more conventional jobs.



"Emil and Nancy were about the same age. They were playmates as soon as they met. I remember when Emil was seven years old; he punched a nine year old in the nose for making fun of Nancy. Gave him a nosebleed right in front of the other kids. I had to sit him down and have a little talk about why it's wrong to hit people."



"Come on, admit it." said Autolycus. "You were a little proud of him, weren't you?"



"I was glad that he knew what was being done to his friend was wrong. I was glad that he was brave enough to do something about it. But, I wanted him to know there are other ways to solve problems without hurting people."



"He decked a kid who was bigger than him. Don't tell me you weren't just a little bit proud of him."



"Well...Jim was somewhat of a bully and after Emil took him down a notch, he wasn't so eager to pick on other kids." He sighed. "OK, maybe just a little. But I couldn't let him know that.



"Emil was the best of me and the best of Emily in one person. He had her hair, my eyes. I think karma may have been getting back at me for not being more understanding to Emily's parents. Emil was brave, adventurous, a touch rebellious. I had to pull that boy out of so many scrapes he got himself into. Too brave for is own good, I suppose."



"Wonder who he got that from?"



"Guilty as charged. In 1855, I was asked to be a 'station master' on the Underground Railroad. I'm ashamed to say it now, but I hesitated before I agreed."



"You? Hercules? Hesitated to help someone? Say it ain't so!"



"You know how it is. Your own life is yours to risk however you want, but once you bring your kids in the mix, it's no longer just you in danger. But, these escaped slaves were trying to get to Canada for a better life for themselves, for their children and even their children. Most of the 'cargo' came in after Emil's bedtime, so it was a while before he even knew what was going on. It helped that the people we were helping escape were accustomed to being quiet on their escape rout. Nearly every night, a 'conductor' would come to my house and say the code word. I'd give the proper response and the people we were helping escape would come out of the wagon they were hiding in and into my house. I'd give them food and comfort and let them stay the night. At first light, another conductor would come to pick them up.



"Eventually, Emil found out. He came down one night, wanting me to take him out to the outhouse, and he saw a family of four escaped slaves at the table. I had to explain to him why we suddenly had late night guests and, more importantly, why he shouldn't tell anybody. See, I teach all my kids early on that it's important to tell the truth and that lying is bad. I had to explain to Emil that this wasn't lying, it was keeping a secret. I told him that not everybody has to know what goes on in your own home. He was about eight and a half, just old enough to understand. When he got a little older, he even helped out a little. He'd show people where they could hide if they needed to. He'd entertain and cheer up little kids who were often scared. As soon as he figured out how to steer a horse and wagon, he even volunteered to be a 'conductor'. I tried to talk him out of it. Told him it was too dangerous, but Emil never cared about danger. I don't think he realized my heart was in my throat every time he went on these runs. I had the honor of meeting Harriet Tubman once. She said that I should be proud to have such a brave son. In a way, I guess I was. But that didn't stop me from worrying."



"Nothing does." Autolycus empathized.



"In 1861, he did something that made me wish he was just a conductor. He ran away and joined the Union Army. He was only fourteen. Yeah, legally, you had to be eighteen to join, but you know how hard it was to prove age back then. You know what the little Smart Alec did? He carved the number 18 into the soles of his shoes so he could honestly say he was over 18 if anyone asked."



"Clever." Autolycus remarked.



"I guess that was sort of my fault. See, Hazel Green was one of those small towns where everyone was expected to come to church on Sunday. A few times, Emil and I would skip church to go fishing and if anyone asked where we were, we'd say one of us caught something. We'd just neglect to mention that what one of us caught was a fish. If others wanted to believe one of us had caught a cold, that was their business. I guess I taught him how to not lie on a technicality.



"He left a note asking me to forgive him. He said he was doing this for Nancy and her family and people like them. He decided he could help more people by fighting in the Civil War than he could conducting a few people at a time. I think I aged for the first time in a millennium after reading that letter." Hercules sighed. "If he had been 18 and wanted to do this, he'd have my blessing. I'd give him some advice on how to take care of himself. But, fourteen was just far too young. I wrote him a letter explaining how I felt, telling him I wanted him to come home. It was weeks before I got a reply. He was stationed in Kentucky at the time. He said he loved me and everything, but his mind was made up. He was staying to fight and he wouldn't write because he couldn't risk anyone finding out his age."



"Kids." Autolycus shook his head. "They're angels at first, then they find a way to just break your heart."



"I wrote anyway. I gave him the advice I would've given any young soldier. For the next four years, I didn't know if he was alive or dead. Then, one spring day, I was out seeding the garden when I saw him. He was in one piece, nearly a foot taller and had corporal stripes on his sleeves. He just said 'Hi, Pa. I'm back.' like he had just come back from playing with his friends. I didn't know whether to hug him or strangle him."



"Which did you do?"



"I hugged him. He told me the Union won the war. He started talking a mile a minute about his promotion to corporal, how he got a sword from a Confederate captain he captured, he had a Medal of Valor and a Purple Heart he wanted to show me. I didn't care about any of that. I was just so glad to have my son back.



"While Emil was away, I got closer to a woman named Maggie O'Reirdan who ran the general store. She was a widow with two daughters. Kate was 12 by the time Emil got home and Elsie was six. Maggie had been a huge comfort to me after my son left. She even helped me with my stationmaster duties like Emil did. Maggie was kind, courageous, a very strong woman. After Emil returned, I asked her to marry me.



"The whole town turned out for the wedding. Emil was my best man. He wanted to wear his dress blues since he only wore them once during the war. They looked good on him. Kate was just old enough to be a bridesmaid and Elsie made the cutest flower girl. Still have the wedding photo. I don't display it out of respect for Sam, but she understands it's a part of my history."



"Wait, Sam knows? About the whole immortality thing?"



"Yeah, I've decided that some things you just can't keep from people you love. Maggie found out one day when she walked in on me applying some make-up to look older. I told her everything and she was surprisingly understanding. Even helped me with my make-up. You know, less than a year after we were married, she was pregnant. I took her over to Doc because she was concerned that she was a lot bigger than she had been with her last two pregnancies. Doc put a stethoscope on her stomach and after several minutes said he was hearing three separate heart beats. I think I passed out when I heard the news. I was a little paranoid after that. I was afraid I'd lose her like I did Emily."



"Joxer's mom had triplets. She lived and that was an even longer time ago."



"I was worried for nothing. Maggie delivered with no major problems. We named them Abraham, Aaron and Alice."



"So, all in all, you had six kids in the house. Sounds like a pioneer version of /Yours, Mine and Ours/."



"Well, I wouldn't really call Emil a kid. Not only was he 18, but the war had matured him. Oh, he was still sweet, wonderful, lovable Emil, but he was less of a troublemaker. More soft-spoken. More in control. He told me he got the letter I sent him with advice on how to handle himself. He carried it with him at all times. Not only did it give him good advice and remind him that someone loved him, but, it had my name and address, you know, just in case.



"At the wedding, Emil got almost as much attention as Maggie did. Everyone commented on how handsome he looked in his uniform and asked him for more war stories. All the girls wanted to dance with him, but Emil had eyes for just one girl. Once he saw Nancy for the first time in four years, his feelings about her started to mature as well. She had grown into a beautiful young lady and he fell in love with her. At the wedding, he did the obligatory dances with his new stepmother and stepsisters, but he never strayed far from Nancy's side.



"Reverend Calder really disappointed me when he refused to marry them. He just said it was unnatural and quoted something from Deuteronomy."



"The more things change the more they stay the same." Autolycus commented. "So, I'm guessing they had to, ah, 'live in sin' was the phrase I believed they used then."



"Emil wanted to be career military. For Nancy to live on the base with him, they had to be legally married. We found a judge who went through the law books and realized there was nothing in Wisconsin state law that said a white man couldn't marry a free black woman. Emil got really pissed when the judge said it was probably for the same reason that there was no law saying a man couldn't marry a horse. I had to hold him back to keep him from beating the man senseless. I was half tempted to let him do it. We found another judge who would marry anyone for twenty dollars and a bottle of scotch.



"After all our children were grown and married, Maggie and I moved to Dubuque. We lived there until the day Maggie died at age 70. Then, it was time for me to change my name and move on again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: In "For Those of You Just Joining Us", Hercules/Kevin Sorbo recognized a poison as being from a plant available only in the Galapagos, indicating that at some point in his long life he probably went there. I thought it would be neat if he had been there with Charles Darwin.

The song that gave the chapter its title is from the musical /Miss Saigon/. It sums up how Hercules feels about Emil. /Miss Saigon/ was created by Alain Boubil and David Schonberg, who also did /Les Miserables/, where the song "Do You Hear the People Sing?" is from. As both musicals were originally in French, I gave credit to the translators, though Boubil and Schonberg deserve their props as well. When I am unable to find out who wrote the lyrics to a song, I just use the performer as I did with "100 Years to Live".

I'd also like to point out that the hardest part of writing historical fiction is finding out what prices were at the time. At first, I used prices that sounded like chump change to me, then I did the research and found out I overestimated the prices. In 1850, the average monthly salary for a MALE teacher was $19.73. Female teachers probably got paid half that much, and if she was single, she was expected to board with a student's family. A cheap apartment in New York City would be less than $3 a month. Comparatively, that's lunch at McDonald's in modern day.