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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 3	By : keithcompany Category: G through L > Land of the Giants Views: 1785 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Land of the Giants show, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
(Lessala is at her desk, sorting some paperwork. There's a small moan, not from her. She stops and looks around. Another moan. She gets up and starts searching around. After a moment she figures out it's coming from a box in a stack of mail in Vertag's in-box. She lifts it and hears muffled pounding. The pounding stops.)
Lessala: Vertag? (no answer) Vertag, I'm going to open your mail! (no response. She lifts the box and opens one end. She tips it over and a human slides out into her hand.)
(Close up of the figure. It's Jamie, the actress who plays the Janet-slut in Vernon, PI)
Lessala: Hey, little woman. Are you okay? (looks closely) Aren't you the woman that hangs out with Vernon? (she lifts the handset and dials her phone) Lisa? I think I have one of Vernon's little friends. Someone mailed her to me.
(Cut to Vertag's office. Lessala and Vertag are watching their handhelds)
Lessala: They used it!
Vertag: What, you didn't know?
Lessala: They said it was a lighting test! They said it was their one chance to compare a real giant's office with their special effects! They didn't even have the real cameras!
Vertag: They do very good special effects. I'd really believe you were a giant in that scene.
Lessala: Shut up.
Vertag: And the clever use of my name? How ever did you learn your lines?
Lessala: Remember when I said you were an insensitive jerk?
Vertag: Nope.
Lessala: Hey! Did you have anything to do with this?
Vertag: Wish I did. Then I wouldn't be jerky or insensitive.
Lessala: I wonder who? (turns to SOG) Who got Foster to do this?
Vertag: Like he's going to know.
SOG: I do know.
Lessala: Who?
SOG: It's a secret. But anyone in the garrison would have done what they could to make it happen, Miss Lessala.
Lessala: Aw! Thank you.
Vertag: See? He doesn't know.
Lessala: He does know. It's just a secret. That's sweet.
Vertag: It's not sweet, it's a stupid cover.
Lessala: Don't pick on him! If he doesn't know, he shouldn't feel bad about it.
SOG: I do so know! But the Colonel swore us all to- (covers his mouth)
Lessala: Aha! So I have the Colonel to thank. Appreciate it, Sarge.
SOG: Damn.
Lessala: I have to go write a thank you note.
Vertag: (to SOG) You guys stand here, every day, and watch her in action. Then, every chance you get, you underestimate her.
-----
Roll Titles (but this time, they're styled for Vernon, PI. Sixties TV credits, brassy music, big name. After Vernon, PI is splashed across the screen, we see Vertag in a trench coat walking through fog, Lessala in an evening dress smashing a waiter with a serving tray, Crane in safari clothing peering over the rim of a beer stein, Perez in a maid's outfit firing a revolver out of a birdcage, Brown in coveralls, trying to hotwire a radio controlled car, etc. )
-----
(Posh restaurant, fine dining, violin music in background. Pan across some well-dressed people, find Vertag and Lessala toasting each other at a table for two. They're dressed very formally.)
(Close in to show that a tiny table is set on their table. Janet, also dressed up, sits there with her own wine glass. The giants lower their glasses near Janet's, say 'klink' then everyone sips)
Janet: Mmm. Nice.
Lessala: Yes. So. What else does one do on a one-year anniversary? Is there a cake?
Janet: There can be. But you'd have to have ordered it ahead of time.
Vertag: Oops.
Lessala: It's not your fault! You don't know what you're supposed to be doing.
Vertag: I didn't say I was my fault. I just said 'oops.' As in SOMEONE messed up. Not necessarily me.
Lessala: Oh, right
Janet: Well, you're not blaming me, are you?
Lessala: This is your idea, Janet.
Janet: I just thought you guys might like taking a moment to note your time together.
Lessala: But you forgot to mention-
Vertag: Hsst. She mentioned plenty.
Lessala: What? Fancy dinner, nice clothes. Big list.
Vertag: Big enough. (there's a bit of a commotion as a stand is brought to their table. Wait staff put a cloth on the stand, a vase on the cloth, then depart. Lessala looks at Vertag and at Janet.)
Lessala: What's-?
Janet: Wait. (The hostess steps over with a dozen roses and offers them to Lessala. She smiles and accepts them, sniffing at the blooms.)
Lessala: Oh! Oh, Vertag!
Vertag: Now this is her fault.
Lessala: Thank you, Janet. These are perfect. (She puts all but one in the vase. Holds that one, smelling the rose, lowers it so Janet can smell it.)
Janet: (holds the giant blossom with both hands and sniffs the center) Nice. And pretty. Aren't they, Vertag?
Vertag: Yeah. Not the prettiest thing at the table, but yeah.
Lessala: (purrs) Ooooh. Thank you.
Millious: (the chief's assistant from episodes 2-20 and 3-1 walks up, dressed as a waitress) Are you ready to order, now?
Vertag: Yeah, I am.
Janet: You know what I want.
Lessala: (does not react to Millious' advent) I need a moment.
Janet: What?
Lessala: (sniffles) I just..this is so... (waves the rose around) I need....
Janet: Oh, sure.
Vertag: What?
Janet: She needs a moment. To fix her mascara.
Vertag: She looks fine!
Janet: Of course she does. That's not the point!
Millious: Whenever you're ready. (walks off)
Vertag: I'm confused.
Lessala: I"ll only be a minute. (walks off in the opposite direction of Millious)
Janet: Sometimes you're an insensitive clod.
Vertag: Jerk. She calls me an insensitive jerk. Clods are a lot more insensitive than I am.
Janet: (Mutters) Men...
(Cut to the hallway outside of the restrooms. Lessala picks up a payphone and pretends to have a conversation. Millious steps up behind her, leaning against the wall.
Millious: What are you doing?
Lessala: A one year anniversary dinner. It's a human custom that Janet-
Millious: Celebrating an anniversary? You're fraternizing with the enemy!
Lessala: I was told to seduce the enemy! The Chief ordered me to!
Millious: But you weren't supposed to enjoy it.
Lessala: I'm not! Have you posted surveillance on that dance? The man has four left feet!
Millious: You still smile a lot.
Lessala: I'm trying to convince him I like him!
Millious: Convince him? Or convince yourself?
Lessala: It's my cover. I'm his girlfriend. He thinks l like him, he keeps me as his girlfriend. And lets me into his life.
Millious: How far?
Lessala: I got to pick the side of the bed nearest the bathroom. And half his closet. And that's on top of having Janet's closets.
Millious: I mean. Does he tell you about his disinformation campaign?
Lessala: If he had, I'd have sent all I know in the report! Look, they're going to get suspicious. I have to go.
Millious: The Chief wants to see you.
Lessala: Really see me or faceless interview see me?
Millious: Just come in.
Lessala: Okay. Gotta go. (hands up, wipes her face and returns to the table)
Janet: (As Lessala sits, Vertag starts to lean forward) Do NOT check her mascara!
Vertag: But if she just spent time fixing it, I'd be rude not to appreciate it.
Lessala: It's okay, Janet. (she picks up the loose rose)
Janet: It's not! He's a Neanderthal.
Vertag: Is that better than miserable bastard?
Janet: Barely.
Lessala: It's fine. (she leans forward, lips pursed. Vertag kisses her. Beneath the kiss, Janet smiles and sighs.)
Vertag: So, anyway, what else do we do on an anniversary?
Millious: (walks up) Are you ready to order?
Vertag: Oh! Yes, we'll have...(fade out)
(Fade in as busboys take the empty plates. Janet slips her mess kit inside a plastic bag and Vertag puts it in his pocket).
Lessala: That was lovely.
Janet: Very nice.
Vertag: I'm afraid I'm too full for dancing.
Lessala: (a little too cheerfully) Oh! (tries to fake disappointment) Well, that's too bad. Maybe just a slow walk back to the Exchange?
Janet: That could be romantic.
Vertag: Too bad we can't ditch the cheerleader and really be alone.
Lessala: Be nice. This is a lovely evening. And it's all her idea.
Janet: It's okay. He's just jealous. You guys are never alone on this planet.
Vertag: This is true.
Lessala: So we're just being normal. Alright! Take me home, lover?
Vertag: Oooh, yes. (Fade out as they rise)
(Fade in to the Marine Security Tent. One of the big screens shows a steep angled shot of Millious talking to Lessala. Perez and Janet look at the screen while the conversation replays)
Janet: Oh, Lessala. What are you playing at?
Perez: We know what she's playing at, Janet. The only question is, what side is she really on?
Janet: Well, if she's sleeping with Vertag to spy on him, or us...
Perez: As that woman says, though, she's violated her orders on their relationship.
Janet: So...do you think she's really in love with Vertag?
Perez: I don't know. I know she's lying to someone. Maybe everyone.
Janet: So...do we trust her, pretend to trust her, tell Vertag or what?
Perez: Well, much as I like Lessala, Vertag's more critical to this Exchange.
Janet: Yeah... If we have to choose one or the other...
(fade out as Janet shakes her head at the scene on the screen.)
(Fade in to Dordell's office. Dordell behind the desk. One of his minions enters)
Dordell: Yes?
Minion: Sir! Monitoring the Eathling's communications! We've discovered something about Agent Vertag!
Dordell: He's a Little Person in platform shoes?
Minion: What?
Dordell: That would explain his success with them. He's one of them. In outrageously long pants.
Minion: No, sir... It's his girlfriend.
Dordell: Miss Crane?
Minion: Lessala.
Dordell: Oh. His other girlfriend.
Minion: Huh? Is there something in the files about Vertag and Crane?
Dordell: Nothing confirmed or pertinent. Anyway. What's this about Lessala?
Minion: The humans have evidence that she's an undercover agent.
Dordell: We knew that.
Minion: But not Defense Force, sir! Something else. They're saying she was ordered to seduce Vertag, for a secret organization operating within 2^nd Nation's DF!
Dordell: (mutters) Seduce? Lucky stiff.
Minion: Sir?
Dordell: Nothing.
Minion: Your orders?
Dordell: Nothing.
Minion: But, sir, what are we going to do about Lessala?
Dordell: Nothing. Can't you hear? (Minion looks very confused) Okay. Look, Tolag doesn't fully trust our senior agent in charge of Little People.
Minion: Which is why we increased his surveillance.
Dordell: And missed this Lessala duplicity. Good job, men.
Minion: Sir, I-
Dordell: Save it. Anyway, we start checking. If we can confirm this human rumor-
Minion: We grab her!
Dordell: We leave her alone.
Minion: What?
Dordell: Vertag's not trusted, but the Earthlings trust him. So we leave both of them in place until we don't need him anymore. THEN we show that he's romantically tied to a seditious rebel. Bang both of them into a cell. Won't even need to actually catch Vertag being disloyal!
Minion: Ah. Conservation of effort.
Dordell: It works better in the long run. I don't have to ask another SID agent to betray an SID agent.
Minion: I see. I'll, uh, confirm this to make sure it's not Earthling disinformation.
Dordell: You do that. And have my car brought around. Gonna break the good news to Tolag's local support team. (fade out as he grabs his coat and hat)
(Fade in to a dark room. Similar to or the same room as the secret conference for Chief's presentation in episode 2-20. But without the conference table or the chairs. Just one chair underneath one bright light. Lessala enters, peering into the darkness.)
Millious: (stepping into view) Take the seat.
Lessala: I thought I was going to meet the Chief.
Millious: You are.
Lessala: Where is he?
Chief (voice): I'm right here, Number 3.
Lessala: Oh. THERE here.
Millious: Be seated. (she sits)
Chief (voice): What's your status with Agent Vertag?
Lessala: Girlfriend.
Chief (voice): Do you think he's playing you along?
Lessala: No.
Chief (voice): You said he suspects you're a DF plant. Do you think he knows your true allegiance?
Lessala: No.
Millious: Are you sure?
Lessala: As sure as I can be with a guy that paranoid.
Millious: How paranoid?
Lessala: One night a week, he sets up a recorder, to see if he talks in his sleep.
Millious: Has he?
Chief (voice): Not yet. If he did, he'd stop sleeping with Lessala.
Lessala: I think so.
Chief (voice): Hmm. What's your relationship with the humans?
Millious: The Earthlings.
Lessala: I know who the humans are! I'm fine with them. We're friends. Especially Janet.
Chief (voice): Janet's told her superiors that you were ordered to seduce your boss.
Lessala: (shock) How would they know...? (smiles) Oh, they're sneaky little people. Um. How do you know that?
Millious: SID knows it. And what the SID office in Coastal City knows, we know.
Chief (voice): Still think she's your friend?
Lessala: Janet's trusting. She'll give me every last chance to do the right thing in the end. And she'll be my friend even if she discovers our true goals. Hell, she considers Vertag a friend and she hates his politics with a passion.
Millious: (sneers) She's an ideaist.
Lessala: She's an optimist. And it's a strength.
Chief (voice): Mmmm. Has he revealed anything about his plan to identify the moles in his forces?
Lessala: I did mention the tape recorder under his pillow, right?
Chief (voice): You did. Well, try harder. See if you can get anything from the other minions.
Lessala: I'll try that, sir. (There's a click as Chief signs off. Millious disappears in the shadows.) Is that all? (fade to darkness)
(Fade in to Vertag's office. He's preparing a transport cage and putting on his jacket. Janet steps out of the elevator.)
Vertag: Hey, you.
Janet: Hey.
Vertag: Got a call. Someone picked up a loose Earthling. I'm going to go collect it.
Janet: Need me?
Vertag: No, they're already in a cage, just need to arrange pay. Did you want something?
Janet: (nods her head yes) No. Just thought I'd say hi.
Vertag: Alright. (picks up pencil cup and pushes a button on the base) What's up?
Janet: Vertag, when you first hired Lessala, you said you knew she was a spy.
Vertag: Yes.
Janet: And you started to sleep with her
Vertag: Yes. Why? Don't spies have sex where you come from? I've seen the James Bond films, you know. You showed them to me.
Janet: No, no. It's not that. It's... Well, you said she was the only one on the planet you could really trust.
Vertag: I did say that.
Janet: Well.... Um...
Vertag: Are you jealous?
Janet: NO!
Vertag: Okay. Then, out with it!
Janet: Are you sleeping with her because you trust her, or are you sleeping with her to make her think you trust her?
Vertag: (stares) You know something about Lessala.
Janet: Maybe.
Vertag: And you brought it to me, first!
Janet: Um...yeah.
Vertag: That's so great! By the Scholars, that must have burned Perez' butt!
Janet: What?
Vertag: Well, strategically, you need me more than her. But if she's not on SID's side, then you all would be more emotionally drawn to trust her over me and my evil bastard agency masters.
Janet: Vertag? You're not going to hurt Lessala, are you?
Vertag: Oh, no. She's fine. Like you, there are things I want from her. And as long as she's keeping her cover, she'll provide them.
Janet: (stares in shock) Are you forcing her to prostitute her body for her cause?
Vertag: What? No! What do you take me for? I'm forcing her to prostitute her politics for the Exchange.
Janet: Oh.
Vertag: And if she gets naked to do it, that's just a little sacrifice she'll choose to make on her own. And I'll never stand in the way of a patriot making a sacrifice. Especially one with legs like hers.
Janet: (shakes her head) Men....
Vertag: So, thank you for telling me whatever it is you're not telling me, but you're not telling me anything I didn't already know. There's no reason for your relationship with Lessala to change, alright?
Janet: Alright... (still a worried expression)
Vertag: Okay. Anything else?
Janet: You know she was ordered to sleep with you?
Vertag: Suspected. Gave her every chance to make it a meaningless affair, but she's committed.
Janet: Are you?
Vertag: Thanks for coming by, Janet. Always a pleasure. I have to go collect an Earthling. (He rises. She clenches fists at her side and watches him go, then shakes her head. Fade out as she turns to the elevator.)
(fade in as Millious puts a bowl of soup down by the Chief's toy train set. Chief climbs down with an empty bowl of his own, peers at the fluid.)
Chief: What's it today?
Millious: What do you care? Like you'll take your business elsewhere?
Chief: I suppose not. Man, I could do with some French Onion soup.
Millious: Well, where can I find a French onion?
Chief: Never mind. (scoops up a serving, sits on a little box.) So, what do you think about Number 3's mission?
Millious: I think that her target's too hardheaded to give out much intel, even with 3's charms. (she starts to eat)
Chief: Mmm. Hey, wasn't the liaison away when we ordered 3 to make her move?
Millious: Yes. She'd reported how upset he was, and we told her to take advantage of that.
Chief: Yeah... I wonder if we can make him that vulnerable again?
Millious: How? Take the liaison out?
Chief: Yeah. A quick snatch, hide her in one of the safe houses, then see if he responds better to her 'charms.'
Millious: I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Chief: Why not, Millious?
Millious: The agent's not...predictable when it comes to the liaison.
Chief: Sure he is. He's her knight in shining armor, dashing at dragons with her favor.
Millious: No, sir, he's the guy that uses the knight as a distraction so he can put a bullet in the dragon's eye.
Chief: Ah.
Millious: Anyone that's going to kidnap Crane on his watch, especially since he's lost her once, had better have their affairs in order before they try.
Chief: You may be right. Okay. Make that plan C.
Millious: There's a plan B?
Chief: We're in plan B.
Millious: What was plan A?
Chief: I'd hoped they'd assign someone more politically malleable to Coastal City.
Millious: Ah. (Fade out as they continue eating in silence.)
(Fade in to the inside of a giant cardboard box. Two human men and one human woman cower inside it.)
Man1: Look, I'm just saying, we've done everything you've asked. Can you just tell us where you're taking us?
(A giant hand lowers into the box, holding an electronic box. It thumbs a button. All three humans pass out and sink to the bottom. The hand rises, the humans are jostled a bit as the box is carried somewhere.)
(Cut to the inside of a giant pet shop. Cages and tanks line the walls. We don't see the proprietor, but two hands lift a cardboard box onto the counter. Pan to the door. Vertag enters the shop, carrying the cage. He closes the door and turns the 'OPEN' sign around to 'CLOSED.' He walks to the counter and looks down in the box.)
Vertag: Sleepy little people? (camera moves back to show that Dordell is on the other side of the counter)
Dordell: They've had a hard day. (he waves the box that put them to sleep where Vertag can see it.)
Vertag: Who are they?
Dordell: They are the technicians (he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a manila envelope) that used this (he pours a human radio into Vertag's hand, the one left on the jeweler's safe in 2-15) to crack the Fleet communications.
Vertag: I guess they're clever little sleepy people.
Dordell: Very. Thanks to them, I know that the humans know that you know that Lessala's not 2^nd Nation Defense Force.
Vertag: (pantomimes counting on his fingers) Um...yeah, I think so.
Dordell: (dumps the radio into the envelope and hands it to Vertag) She works for the Chief.
Vertag: (pockets the envelope) I know that.
Dordell: And the Chief ordered her to sleep with you.
Vertag: God bless him.
Dordell: And he's pressuring Lessala to pump you for intell.
Vertag: Well, the way to a man's intel is through his-
Dordell: Shut up.
Vertag: Yes, sir.
Dordell: And the Chief is thinking of kidnapping Miss Crane.
Vertag: (sharply) He's suicidal? (shakes his head) The humans know that?
Dordell: I do have some sources that aren't centered around the Earthlings.
Vertag: Of course.
Dordell: So, you'll have to keep a close eye on Lessala when she's around Crane.
Vertag: Maybe.
Dordell: Well, you don't have to. History shows that you'll do whatever you damned well please.
Vertag: Maybe.
Dordell: (Snorts) Yeah, maybe. (Vertag smiles) Okay. Take your clever little sleepy people.
Vertag: I will. (Reaches into the box, starts moving limp bodies to his cage. Fade out)
(Fade in to the front office of the Exchange. Lessala looks up from her desk as Vertag carries the cage in. The humans are standing but groggy, holding the bars of the cage.)
Vertag: Don't worry. The headaches fade quickly.
Human woman: Where are you taking us?
Vertag: Believe it or not, you're on the way to Earth.
Lessala: Hey! New arrivals?
Vertag: New arrivals. Help me put them in the Tank? (she nods and opens the Security Door)
Human2: Tank? What sort of sick experiments are you doing on us?
Lessala: (walking to the Tank Room) Oh, all sorts of perversions of science. You're going to get a clean bed, new clothes, a hot shower, all the food you can eat.
Vertag: A chance to send messages to Earth.
Lessala: Oh, and they say you can even fill out an absentee ballot if you're from certain states.
Vertag: What's a ballot?
Lessala: I think it's a sort of celebrity survey.
Human1: What are you talking about?
Human woman: Oh, pay no attention. That last guy probably sold us to solve their...(they see the Tank. She quiets).
Vertag: Now, there are rooms of various sizes. Showers here, overalls in those boxes, and way down at the bottom, you can talk to the Marines that'll be escorting you home.
Lessala: (holds the tube as they stumble into the Tank. Humans inside greet the new arrivals and lead them off) Welcome almost to home!
(They disconnect the cage and seal the Tank. Vertag drops the cage to the floor. They glance at the Skirries Tank next to the Transfer Tank. Twenty patients lay in beds, rubbing tree leaves on their faces. A woman in a doctor's scrubs gives them a thumbs up. They smile and go into the hall. Once the door closes and no one can see them, they embrace and kiss)
Vertag: Mmmm. Man, I've had a weird day.
Lessala: Me, too.
Vertag: All kinds of people are saying that you're all wrong for me.
Lessala: Huh. Me, too. (another kiss)
Vertag: Well. What are we going to do about that?
Lessala: Tell them to pack sand?
Vertag: Is that a humanism? (she nods) Styles?
Lessala: Perez. (another kiss)
(Cut to the Security Tent, where Perez watches the two embrace. She notices something and touches controls. The camera zooms in. We see that where the two are holding hands, they tap each other's fingers. One taps in a deliberate pattern, then the other replies)
Perez: Brown! You know if the giants have anything like Morse Code?
Brown: Not that I know of. But I'll check.
Perez: (shakes her head) Those sneaky, conniving (fade out as she continues to denigrate the couple), surveillance defeating, scum-sucking...
-----
Roll Credits
-----
- 6
- 7
- 8
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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 3