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Pains Of The Heart	By : queenofthediamonddogs Category: M through R > Merlin (BBC) > Merlin (BBC) Views: 1731 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin and any recognisable characters. I am not making any money from this story

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
Chapter 7: Preparations

“Did you get lost?” Morgana joked when Elaine finally reach the clearing. The older woman had already dismounted and sitting on a blanket next to the slow moving creek.

“Yes I did.” She lied as she too dismounted with the help from Lancelot. She blushed softly when they made eye contact. “Thank you.” Elaine spoke quietly and timidly before moving away towards Morgana. “You always win in a race against me.” Laughing lightly as she sat next to Morgana. “It is so peaceful here. I wish Camelot were like this.”

Morgana laughed softly. “Yes but I doubt it ever will be.” Sitting comfortably on the blanket, watching Elaine. “Something is bothering you, my dear friend. Do tell me.”

“It is nothing Morgana.” Elaine smiled gently. “I am just missing my father. Everyday hurts. Everyday I feel his absence and it grows on my heart.” Tears began to fall down her pale cheeks. “I wish I could....” She wiped away the tears before she spoke again. “I wish I could change everything. Stop him from leaving and visiting the King.” She continued to wipe away the tears.

“Do you wish to return to the castle?” Morgana asked gently as she wrapped her arm around Elaine's shoulders and pulled her close, giving her comfort. “You are cold.”

“No. I wish to stay. You can leave if you wish to. I really wish to be alone.” Elaine sat up straight and brush her tears away. “I will return to the castle soon.” Staring at the opposite bank, ignoring Morgana, who was watching Elaine carefully. “Let one of the knights stay with me. Morgana you are bored. I know you too well. Just go back to the castle.” Turning her back on Morgana, who tried her best to comfort Elaine but the young woman shrugged the other away.

Morgana sat with her in silence. She knew that Elaine was still hurting from her father's death. She would take time to come out of her grief and Morgana knew that she would have to be the one to give Elaine comfort when the time was right. “I will leave you in peace. I shall leave you with one of the knights.”

Elaine did not listen to her. She did not want to listen to her. Today was meant to be a good day but the memories rose up within her and caused her to feel the pain of lost loved ones. The sound of two sets of hooves pounded away from her but Elaine did not dare turn to see who she was left with. She heard the heavy footsteps of the knight, who had been left with Elaine to protect her. “Leave me be, please.”

The knight stood beside her and then sat next to her. She ignored the man but when he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “Shhh. Let it out.” Lancelot spoke gently as he pulled her closer to him, his arms enveloping her in his embrace. Her sobs started quietly but as soon as his arms wrapped around her and she was pulled into his chest for comfort, they began louder and more heartbreaking.

“Why me? Why did it have to happen to me?” She sobbed against his shoulder as he tried his best to comfort her.

“Everyone must face with the dangers and hardships in life.” He spoke gently as he held her close. Lancelot remained silent for a moment as she cried against him. “I have to leave.” Elaine pulled away from him, tears had stained her cheeks and all Lancelot wanted to was wipe away her tears. “Wait. Let me explain.” Cupping her cheek gently, his thumbs wiping away her tears. “I have to go to the outlying villages. The King has placed me in charge of protecting the borders. It was not a request but more of a demand.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her forehead. “I will return soon.”

Elaine chuckled softly. “You best had.” Looking up at him, her dark eyes filled with tears. “I will miss you.”

“And I you.” Pulling Elaine close and the two sat in silence until Lancelot spoke. “Shall we return to the castle?”

Elaine shook her head. “No. I want to stay here.” Lancelot lay back on the blanket and Elaine followed, laying close next to him. “I still cannot face my uncle properly. I get the feeling that he knows. Knows about us.” Turning on her side and rest her head on her hand, looking down at him. “He probably doesn't but I just feel like he does know.” Laughing softly as she rested her free hand on his chest.

Lancelot raised his hand, brushed the fingers against her pale cheeks and then moved his hand to rest over her hand, which remained lain on his chest. “He will never know.” He chuckled softly, his fingers gently caressed the back of her hand. “No one knows about us. No one will.”

Inside, Elaine's heart was breaking at those final three words but on the surface, she hid her disappointment by smiling gently to him. “It is a secret that I can keep very well.” Laughing softly and lay her head against his shoulder. “I wish this time would never end.” Giving a long and heavy sigh.

Lancelot remained silent, staring up at the blue sky. His other arm wrapped around Elaine, holding her close to him. He wished he could admit to her that he was falling for her but his heart was torn in two. His growing love for this young woman and his love for Gwen. “Shall we leave before it gets cold?” Kissing the top of her head, his lips brushing her golden hair.

“No.” Sighing softly. “Tell me something about yourself. Something that nobody knows about.” Moving away from him and returning to face him with her head resting on her hand. Her brown eyes watched him as he sat up slightly.

Lancelot chuckled lightly. He too turned on his side to face her. “I was not born Lancelot. It is my Christian name but my mother and father named me Galahad.” He chuckled once again and shook his head and sat up straight. “They preferred Lancelot but my first name is still Galahad.”

Elaine smiled gently. “Which do you prefer? Lancelot or Galahad?” Keeping her position but looking up at him.

He laughed lightly and stood up. “Lancelot. I prefer Lancelot.” Looking down at her and held out his hand. “Which do you prefer?”

Elaine laughed loudly as she took his hand and stood up and away from the blanket. “I prefer Lancelot also.” Giving him a small smile. Their hands remained clasped when Lancelot led her to her horse. “I am guessing we have to leave.”

Lancelot gave her a small nod and helped her mount her horse. “We cannot raise suspicion with your uncle or I will never be able to return to you.” Helping her become comfortable in the saddle before moving away to fetch the blanket. Elaine held her horse still as she watched him pack away the blanket and the mount his own horse. “Are you ready, my Lady?”

Elaine gave a small laugh and nodded. “Yes Sir Lancelot. I am ready to leave.” Nudging her horse into a gentle trot and in the direction of the castle. She kept her gaze ahead as they rode together. Her heart would surely break if she looked at him. She didn't want him to leave but she knew that he had to. He had to obey the commands of the King and the Prince. As did she. She knew that the two would never marry and that her uncle would probably find a husband for her to secure the future of her father's throne. She would never be able to marry for love or marry a commoner.

Once the pair reached the castle, they went their separate ways. Elaine returned inside and Lancelot moved in the general direction of the training fields.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - –

The day for Lancelot to leave with a few knights came and Elaine was dreading it more than anything but she hid it well from everyone. She avoided any contact with the knight as she knew that it was cause her terrible heartache. She had fallen deeply in love with him and she had a small feeling that he did not return her feelings but she lived in hope that he did.

Arthur and Merlin were to join the small party for a little time as Arthur wished to hunt on the outskirts of Camelot. They left early in the morning. Elaine watched from her chambers with a sad heart. Lancelot was wearing his long red cloak at the head of the column. The long red material billowed behind him as he rode out of the city.

“Elaine?” Her uncle spoke softly as he entered her room unannounced. “Are you well?”

“Yes uncle.” Speaking softly as she turned away from the window and gave him a small smile. “Is there something you wished to see me about, Uncle?” As it was only the two of him, there was no need for formalities and she could affectionately call him 'uncle.'

“Yes. Lord Godwyn and his daughter, Princess Elena are visiting in a few days.” Uther spoke and kept his gaze away from Elaine, as if he was worried about what he was going to say next and her reaction would be one of anger. “Lord Godwyn and I have been talking of a union. A union between Arthur and Elena.”

“Oh. Has Arthur agreed to this?” Elaine moved away from the window and stood next to her vanity table.

Uther shifted nervously. “Arthur does not know.”

“An arranged marriage?” Elaine spoke in surprise. “Arthur won't be happy about the idea.”

“It is for the good of the kingdom.” Speaking sternly to his niece, who had a stubborn streak just like Uther and her father. “I have also spoken to Lord Godwyn about you.”

“No!” Elaine gave an angry retort. “Whatever you are thinking Uncle, my answer is no.”

“I cannot protect you forever Elaine!” Her uncle speaking angrily. “Godwyn is a good man. He has always been a friend to me and to your father. I do not mean for you to marry him immediately but think about it. I hate to say it but he is old and he will make you a fine husband if you choose to accept him. Only if he asks.” Raising an eyebrow as she glared at him but her features soon softened.

“Fine.” Sighing heavily. “But only if he actually asks and I do not wish to be forced into it because you have decided for me. It will be my decision alone and no one else's.” She may have inherited the Pendragon stubbornness but she had her mother's soft and caring side.

“Thank you, Elaine.” He smiled softly and stepped in front of her, leant down a little and kissed her forehead. “You are more and more like your mother every day.” The pair smiled at each other and Uther held out his arm. “Would you like me to escort you to dinner?”

Elaine placed her hand on his arm. “I would like that very much, sire.” The two left her room and moved through the castle.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- 6
- 7
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Pains Of The Heart