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The Journey to Love: Love and Politics	By : sissouthernink1994 Category: S through Z > West Wing Views: 2272 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Full disclaimer below with more to follow for each chapter. This is a work of fiction. I don't own The West Wing- the building or the show. I don't know President and Mrs. Obama, I'm not getting paid for this.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Chapter 7: To woo or not to woo, that is the question

                It was nearly ten p.m. when Sam finally made it home. Fatigue was beginning to set in. It had been a mentally and physically draining day. And making love with Josh didn’t help the physical. But it did help his heart; he wouldn’t have wanted to spend his free time any other way. Sam flipped through the mail and set it on the tale, not mentally able to look at it. He listened to the voicemail messages, grabbed his recyclable water bottle from the fridge and made his way to the bedroom.
                He undressed and stretched. He took some Tylenol to help get rid of his mild headache. It usually happened when he had turn around trips like today. He sent Josh a text. Josh turned his head towards the nightstand and picked up his phone.

1new msg sam 10:30 p.m.
hey babe u don’t have 2 answer this i’m home & safe sleep well *i luv u*

1 new msg josh 10:32 p.m.
i miss u already luv u 2 *kiss*

Sam got into bed and covered up, wishing it was Josh’s arms instead of the blankets. Josh turned over wishing Sam were next to him. His thoughts turned to their future once again. What kind of job would he find in California that would suit him? He didn’t know but he was looking forward to finding out. In the mean time, his dreams took him back to when he and Sam started to discover their feelings for each other.

Bartlet for America Campaign Trail…
                Sam and Josh had tried to keep their arguments to a minimum. Neither of them really knew why. Josh hadn’t told Sam what he heard the young men say and Sam didn’t repeat what the young women had said. Sam didn’t even discuss what he and the Governor had talked about either; he didn’t know how to bring it up. His relationship with Lisa was becoming nonexistent. They rarely talked. He no longer cared about the New York social scene (not that he ever really did) and although she never cared about politics, she cared less about what happened on the road. That’s probably when the dreams about Josh started.
                Sam and Josh never shared a room together. They had never asked to, never thought to ask to share a room. Most times, he was by himself. He liked that so he could concentrate on writing or resting. Every once in a while he had to share with Toby, which was never a pleasant experience. Everyone was a creature of habit, and some creature’s habits were…what’s the word…more annoying, nerve-wracking? To put it nicely, he would just rather not room with Toby.
                Stating that this day was a very busy day was an understatement. Sam had written and rewritten eight speeches. He had read statistic after statistic, poll after poll. He had spoken with at least 250 concerned Americans, asking questions and voicing opinions. In between all these things were meetings. By the time the campaign was through for the day so was Sam.
As he took a shower, he couldn’t even remember what he had eaten for dinner. He didn’t really remember eating dinner. Toby hadn’t come into the room yet which was good for Sam. The peace and quiet combined with his fatigue would have him asleep in no time. His sleep would be so deep, Toby could have brought in a marching band playing “Hail to the Chief” and Sam might not hear it. He had no idea that his mental and physical fatigue would betray his body in front of Toby.
By the time Toby came to the room, Sam had been asleep for about three hours. He didn’t even stir as Toby moved about the room. As he sat on the bed, he thought he heard Sam mummer something in his sleep. He chalked it up to Sam’s tiredness and went to bed. As he closed his eyes, he heard Sam murmur again. It sounded like he was calling Josh’s name.
“Not there…mmm…there…” Toby looked towards Sam’s direction and he was still deep in sleep. Then Sam was quiet. Toby turned over and tried to go to sleep. He was just about there when he heard:
“Josh, wait…stop…no…mmm don’t stop…” followed by a sexy moan.
“Unbelievable.” Toby said in frustration as he looked for something to throw at Sam to either wake him or get him to stop talking. “Sam!” Sam made a snorting sound, turned over, and got quiet. Toby took the other pillow from the bed and placed it over his ear so he wouldn’t hear Sam. He wished he had some earplugs or cotton balls because the pillow didn’t work as well as he wanted.
     Things went the same way for the rest of the night with Toby finally stuffing balled up toilet papers in his ears. Morning came and a fully rested Sam was up and ready for the day. His roommate however, not so much. Toby would have preferred to sleep through breakfast but couldn’t because it was a breakfast meeting. It was easily detectable who had the restful night’s sleep. Donna was going from person to person asking if anyone needed anything, she would be making a store run later that day.
“Ear plugs.” Toby said. “The best you can find.” She wrote down the request and went to the next person.
“That’s an odd request Tobias.” C.J. said as they started to fill their plates from the buffet.
“You didn’t have the night I had.” He replied.
“What, was Sam repeating his speech in his sleep?”
“I wish; it would have been more pleasant to listen to.” He looked over at Sam who was now talking with Josh and some other staffers. Then he whispered to C.J. “Do you know if anything is really going on between those two?”
She looked over her shoulder.
“Who? Josh and Sam? Nothing but the usual banter, I guess.”
“Banter, 17^th century term for playful teasing between two people. Emphasis on playful teasing.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Banter. Why the inquiry?”
“I think Sam was having a sex dream about Josh last night.”
“Aha, so we know why Mayor McGrumpy is extra grumpy this morning. Jealous are we?”Toby gave C.J. an annoyed look as he reached for a coffee cup.
“Hardly. He was very vocal last night and it greatly disturbed my sleep, hence my request for earplugs. It will not bode well if I have to listen to him tell Josh ‘it’s all yours’ again.” C.J. tried to hold in her laugh but couldn’t.
“Wow, I can’t even imagine.”
“And no one should ever have to.”
“So just tell Shelia you request a room change. Tell her to make sure if the rooms have to be oddly paired again, not to oddly pair the two of you.”
“And you want know the worst part of this?”
“There’s a worst part?”

“I don’t even think he knows he had the dream.”

                Sam went on with the rest of the day and during the rare lull, he sat down and tried to remember his dream from the night before. It was unusual to say the least. He and Josh were in nice, quiet place. It wasn’t too romantic, but they were. They were kissing and Josh’s lips were travelling down Sam’s neck to his chest via his unbuttoned shirt. Josh was whispering so many things and doing so many things that made Sam smile and turned him to putty in Josh’s hands. Josh’s hands…, which were in Sam’s pants. The pants were probably unbuckled and unzipped by Josh. Sam remembered moaning and what sounded like Toby banging on a door.
Now why would Toby be trying to get in where we are? He remembered having his arms around Josh’s neck, as if he was holding on for dear life as his pleasure ripped through his body. That explains the stickiness in my pajamas. But why would I be having sex with Josh? I’ve never thought of him that way. I mean, I love him, but sex? Of all the conversations we’ve ever had about sex, none of them have been about us having sex with each other.
He took another sip of his coffee and thought about the end of the dream. That was the most puzzling part. They confessed their love for each other. Real, sincere, romantic love. Sam sighed and tried to remember if he had ever had dreams like these before. He felt embarrassed when he remembered that he had. As they flooded his mind, it showed on his face. Blushing, he looked around to see if anyone had noticed his current condition. No one seemed to notice.

Most of the dreams weren’t sex dreams. They were of the two of them talking and holding hands or kissing and touching. Very few were actually sex dreams. And this last one felt so real. Maybe that’s why Toby was banging on the door! Maybe I did something in my sleep and he heard me! Oh my God. I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye again. Sam groaned when he thought of the evil looks Toby had been giving him all morning. People kept asking Sam what he had done to Toby to deserve those scary looks. And they were scary. Sam shrugged because he didn’t have an answer. Now he did, but he wasn’t about to tell them that.

What was making him feel this way? Was it Lisa’s withdrawal? After being in a relationship with her for so long, he should want to spend time by himself, right? Sam tried to think of what he did before when something this big happened in his life. He talked to Josh. Josh was always there no matter what. When his cousin died in that tragic car accident, Josh was there to comfort him. Well, they comforted each other since they were all friends at the same program that summer in college. When his third big relationship ended, Josh was there for him. Phillip had treated him so badly by cheating on him and blaming it on Sam. Not much in this world could rattle Sam’s confidence and self-esteem, but this dropped it down to completely nothing. Josh helped him rebuild his confidence. Josh seemed to be there for some of the biggest moments in his adult life. Maybe Josh was anticipating that Sam would need him. But that didn’t explain the dreams.

Sam thought about his relationship with Lisa. He wondered how solid it had been. Because it was becoming clearer and clearer every time they talked that, their problems started years before Josh even thought about coming to New York for Sam. Was he so numb and out of touch that he didn’t notice that there as only one person in their relationship and it wasn’t him? Truth be told, he felt like he hadn’t been in love for a long time. Maybe even years. There was care and concern; that comes from being together for a while. He was going through the motions, saving face.

But what did Josh have to do with it? The question that was now coming to his mind was, had he always had feelings for Josh, but ignored them and pushed them away? What if he was avoiding dealing with it by choosing to be with someone else? Then he began to wonder if Josh had ever felt the same, pushing his feelings for Sam back in order for Sam to have who he wanted (or thought he wanted). Maybe he did the same for himself; settling for Mr. or Ms. Right-Now-will-do and not Mr. or Ms. Right-for-my-life.

Sam didn’t want to settle anymore and it was crystal clear that he and Lisa weren’t going to get married. Could Josh be his Mr. Right? Could Josh love him whole-heartedly, flaws and all? Josh Lyman? Maybe he was making all this up, wishful thinking. Maybe what they felt for each other was just friendship, pure and simple. But it felt like more. Sam tried to figure out what he could do, he had to figure this out now. He went looking for their resident doctor. She may not have been a shrink, but she was the closest thing he had to one.

                Sam walked into the created lounge area in the dressing rooms of the theatre. Dr. Bartlet was just finishing an interview with a local reporter. Her assistant met Sam at the door and asked what he needed.
“Is she available? I need to talk with her.”She looked back at the governor’s wife.
“I’ll let her know you need to see her.” The assistant walked over and waited as Dr. Bartlet said her goodbyes to the reporter. The Secret Service would escort the reporter out. Sam could see the boss and assistant talking with the assistant motioning for Sam to come over.
“Hi Sam. The motion sickness back?”
“No ma’am. I need to talk to you about something else.”
“Alright then, have a seat.” They sat and she offered him something to drink. He opted for water. He hoped it wouldn’t be too many people in the area. C.J. was quietly going over notes and other things with the member’s of the Dr. Bartlet’s staff. “What’s on your mind Sam?”
“You and the governor are friends, right?”
“We’ve been together this long, I should hope so.”
“Is it safe to assume that you were friends before you started dating?”
“It is.” She replied. Sam took a deep breath to prepare himself.
“Ok, here’s my question. If you and the governor had decided to not be a couple anymore, do you think you could have still remained friends?”
“Actually I think we would have. Jed is such a people person; it’s hard not to be his friend.”
“I think the Republicans and some Democrats would disagree with you.” They laughed a little.
“True, but his real true friends know who he his. We were friends for a long time before he had even had the courage to ask me out. I have no doubt that we had never fallen in love, or fallen out of love, that we would still be friends. Why did you ask?” Sam hesitated and took sip of his water.
“There’s a friend that I may or may not have romantic feelings for.”
“Does this friend have feelings for you?”
“I don’t know yet. But I feel they might. I’m wondering if I should take the leap and see.”
“Well, if you don’t leap you’ll never know, will you?”
“No ma’am, I won’t.” He replied.
“So what’s stopping you?”
“I don’t want to lose our friendship in case it doesn’t work out.”
“So fear is keeping you from leaping?”
“Doesn’t it do everyone that way?”
“I guess it does at one point or another. Well, tell me about this, person.”
“This person…uh my friend is a highly intelligent person. My friend is strong willed, smart, determined.”
“And as your friend?”
“My friend has been there for me, when a lot of stuff has gone wrong and I’ve been hurt. My friend has encouraged me, given me advice on love, life and work. I really value this person’s place in my life and I don’t want to lose it if we can’t make a love relationship work.”Dr. Bartlet nodded her head as she listened to Sam talk about his friend.
“Do you think your friend feels this way about you?”
“I’m sure the sentiment is the same.”
“Why don’t you just ask Josh how he feels?”She asked, catching Sam off guard.
“I’m sorry ma’am. Did you say I needed to ask Josh? Why would I need to ask Josh?”
“I wasn’t sure until now, but it’s very clear that you have feelings for him and you’re wondering if he feels the same. The only way to make sure is to ask him.”
“But, I can’t…I couldn’t even think of asking him that. I’d feel so embarrassed. And what if he says no or laughs in my face? I’ll feel even worse.”
“You do agree that you need know one way or the other correct?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“So be creative. You know how to do that don’t you Sam? Use what you have to find out what you want to know.”
“But what about the campaign? Wouldn’t it hurt the governor’s chances if…if people knew?”
“It hasn’t hurt anything so far. You should let Jed handle all that and concentrate on getting this straightened out. Besides, we both think you’d make a great couple. He doesn’t have to disclose the personal lives of his staffers unless it’s found to be a threat to national security.”
“Both of you? He knows? When?”
“Well, we’ve all been participating in the process of elimination and developing theories. He had a little more insight after he talked with you a few weeks ago. When he was out smoking his cigar.” Sam winced.
“You weren’t supposed to know about that.”
“We’re an old married couple Sam; there are a lot of things he does that I’m not ‘supposed’ to know about. But the beauty of being in love with your best friend is that you always have honesty, no matter what. He couldn’t have kept that from me if he tried.” Sam smiled at the thought that he could have a normal relationship with Josh, one as normal as the Bartlet’s. Maybe. He rose to leave.
“Thank you Dr. Bartlet for listening to me. I know you must think I’m a basket case.” She stood from her chair.
“I do not think that Sam. What I think is that you are a young man who has discovered that he was in love with the wrong person and is now realizing who that correct person is. Don’t over think it Sam; just let Josh know what’s in your heart. He will appreciate your honesty and I think the response will surprise you.” Sam thanked her again and he left the theatre.

                The campaign bus was ready to take staffers back to the hotel and Sam was wondering what he could do to find out where Josh’s feelings were. Dr. Bartlet’s words echoed in his ears “use what you have to find out what you want to know.” Sam thought and thought. Finally, an idea came to him. There were quite a few businesses near the hotel- Walgreens, Office Max, Kinko’s, a grocery store, gas station. Moreover, a book store.
Sam walked into Book Ends with one thing on his mind- a book on the art of wooing or love poetry. After walking around aimlessly, he found books on both. He purchased them. Now for part two. He headed over to Office Max. He did need some supplies to write speeches on; he didn’t always like to write by laptop. His basket held legal pads, writing utensils, a new clipboard (his last one disappeared). Then he stopped in the stationary isle. They carried lots of party and wedding stationary. There was fun stuff, baby stuff, feminine stuff, but nothing to his liking.
“I can’t use this stuff.” A store associate walked to help him.
“Can I help you sir?” Sam looked at him.
“Do you have any masculine stationary?”
“Masculine, sir?”
“Yeah, something without flowers or bubbles and kittens and isn’t pink.” The associate looked.
“I think I saw something that looks like old parchment in the clearance bin.” He motioned for Sam to follow him and he showed him what he was talking about. Sam looked it carefully.
“This could work. Yeah, it could work really well. Are there envelopes?” The associate looked in the bin.
“No, there are some close to that color near the invitations. How many do you need?” He walked over them and grabbed a box.
“Good question. How many are in there?”
“Fifty sir.”
“Fifty’s fine. I may not need that many.” He came back and handed it to Sam.
“Is there anything else I can help you with sir?”

“Nope. I think I’m ready to check out.” Sam followed him to the checkout counter.

                Sam hoped he would get the chance to skim through one or both of his books before the rally started that evening, but things didn’t work out that way. The rally went well though. Everyone was pleased with the turnout and was leaving with happy thoughts about the city’s votes. They all piled on the bus, their home away from home. It was going to be a long bus ride; everyone had changed into clothes that were more comfortable. Laptops, stats sheets and poll info were put away for the night. Junk food and fast food was in heavy supply. Everyone was winding down, trying to find a comfortable place for the night.
                Sam was no different. He had found a quiet seat on the bus but as tired as he was, he wasn’t ready for sleep. So he decided to get out his book light and read. He had yet to detail how he wanted to reveal his feelings to Josh. He read the book’s ideas on wooing. There wasn’t much that he hadn’t heard of before; flowers or relevant gifts from a secret admirer, expensive dinners, making dinner for the person of interest. It almost seemed a waste of money until he read about the love poetry. This idea really intrigued him; the response idea intrigued him even more. It required the wooer to write something to the love interest and leave a blank piece of paper so the love interest could respond. Will it work? Sam wondered. Will he write something back, something that reveals his heart? Sam twirled his pencil between his fingers for a moment and then he let the emotions flow.
                A few hours later, the page in front of him was finally filled with words. He smiled a little as his eyes reviewed them. No, they were more than words; they were pieces of his heart. He rewrote the words that hadn’t been scratched out. He liked using the pencil, but didn’t always like to erase. As he reread them, he felt that he wanted to change something. But if he did, his feelings wouldn’t be fully revealed. Now that his feelings were written down, how was he going to get it to Josh, without being noticed?
                Sam carefully and protectively hid his poetry in his briefcase so no one could see it. He didn’t even want to chance it. He made himself comfortable by letting both seats back to stretch his legs a bit. As he did so, he could see Josh. The man was trying to get comfortable himself. The pillow just wouldn’t fit the way he wanted it to under his neck. He laughed a little to himself, but he couldn’t just let his future love (maybe) not be able to get any sleep.
“You might want to try letting both seats back and make a diagonal.”Sam suggested. “Put your pillow under your ear.”
“I can’t. I have my stuff here and I can’t stretch out my legs.”
“Why don’t you put it in the seat behind you, like I did my stuff?”Josh looked behind him. “You’ll have more room.” Josh shrugged his shoulders and moved his stuff to the seat behind him. He was finally able to stretch out his legs. He pulled the blanket up to his neck and the pillow seemed to fit well enough for him to begin to doze off.

Josh finally looked peaceful and so cute as he slept. Sam wanted to place a kiss on his forehead, just to wish him good night, but he decided not to. Not yet anyway. He watched Josh fall asleep and wondered how he found any peace with his mind going ninety to nothing running this campaign. Maybe writing the poetry and asking for a response would be too much. Maybe Josh wouldn’t have enough time to write back. Maybe this is a bad idea, Sam thought. Maybe I should abandon ship. But something welled up in Sam’s heart that wouldn’t let him, something that wouldn’t let him give up on his quest for what he needed to know. And it was then he figured out how he was going to give the poetry to Josh.
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The Journey to Love: Love and Politics