Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

The Embrace	By : bonnyblonde Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 4558 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead nor do I make any money from the publications of this story

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
As always, I could not have done it without my amazing beta, RF. Her edits and suggestions improve every single thing I write and I am so lucky to have her assistance.

Epilogue

A couple of days later...

Daryl took the steps to the second floor of the cell block two at a time, needing to get the hell away from all of the heated arguments before he ended up takin' a swing at someone. How could a reunion with his brother, something he hadn't dared dream was even possible, turn into such a cluster fuck? His people needed to get over themselves and accept that Merle was stayin' put, and that there was nothin' left to discuss.

Except...he totally understood where they were coming from.

As much as it had meant to him to find his brother, he almost wished that Merle hadn't followed him back to the prison after their confrontation in the forest. It would have done Glenn and Maggie a world of good if his older sibling had just faded away like a ghost into the dark shadows surrounding Woodbury instead. In fact, while even thinking it tore his heart out, he had to wonder if it wouldn't have been best for everyone, including him, if he'd never seen his brother again.

Life had been a lot different without someone around constantly yankin' his chain or paintin' him into one corner or another. Hell, life had been better most of the time, if he was going to be totally honest about it. He had missed his brother, no question there...but there was a lot about Merle that he'd be all too happy to never have to deal with again.

It spoke volumes about his friends' loyalty that Merle was still walkin' around and drawin' breath after what he'd done to Maggie and Glenn, all in the name of finding Daryl. The man was being barely tolerated, not accepted – and certainly not trusted. And although his brother had been uncharacteristically subdued since they'd returned to the prison, Daryl didn't believe for a minute that would last long. He only hoped that when the storm finally broke, the target of Merle's rage wouldn't be someone within the group. If that happened, Daryl knew he would have another tough choice to make, and he was pretty sure his brother wouldn't come out on the winning side the second time 'round.

His decision to turn his back on the other survivors and leave with Merle had hurt them; that much had been easy to see. After risking everything to get him out of Woodbury safely, what they likely saw as Daryl's betrayal had cut them deeply. Worse yet, going off with his brother had very nearly cost the rest of them their lives...if he hadn't had a change of heart about where he really belonged, if he hadn't finally grown a pair and walked away from Merle, the people who had been his family for nearly a year would all be dead.

Not that coming back had made everything all better. Not by a long shot.

As disappointed and upset as most of the group had been about his choice, Carol had been truly devastated. Rick had taken him aside and let him know in no uncertain terms what her reaction had been, had told him bluntly that taking off without a word and leaving someone else to break the news to her had been a real gutless move.

On some level, he had to have known exactly that when he'd saddled Rick with the responsibility, but he'd justified it by convincing himself it would be so much easier on both him and Carol if he just left and avoided going through a painful parting. With one dumb-ass decision, Daryl had crushed her heart under his heel as though all those things they'd said...all those things they'd done...had meant nothin' to him.

He'd told Rick as he'd left with Merle that she would understand...and he didn't doubt that she eventually did. But that didn't mean she'd ever forgive him for it...and she shouldn't, he didn't deserve a second chance. The consequences of what he'd done became patently clear when he'd walked back through the gates into the compound just hours earlier. Carol had silently stared at him, blood splattered across her face and tears shining in her eyes, before she'd simply turned away and disappeared behind the heavy steel doors that led to the cell block.

He now knew without a shadow of a doubt that what he had done made him no better than her late husband Ed when it came down to it, even if he hadn't used his fists to inflict the pain. The way he'd abandoned her just when they had come together was likely all the proof she needed that in the end, he was too broken to love or be loved.

Daryl rubbed at his eyes as he made his way along the catwalk, passing the barred gates as he sought out a little solitude. Knowing that she was likely off looking after the baby, he dared to glance into Carol's vacant cell on his way past and was brought up short by what he saw within.

His belongings...every insignificant, worthless piece of crap from his room...were laid out as though in anticipation of his return. Old weapons, ragged clothes, his bedding and a couple of tacky mementoes he'd bother to snag before leaving home were all there. And although none of it was anything he'd lamented leaving behind, it was crystal clear that it all meant something to Carol...simply by virtue of having been his.

Taking a few steps inside, he glanced around the room, his heart sinking like a stone in his chest. It truly hit him then – all that he had gone through when she'd disappeared, when he'd believed her dead – his grief couldn't even touch what he'd put her through. As much as it had wounded him when he thought she'd fallen to the walkers, how much worse it must have been for her to have him vanish and know that he had consciously chosen to leave. He knew that particular anguish well, had carried it himself for years when he believed his mother had purposely left him behind...

Suddenly weary beyond words, Daryl flopped down onto Carol's bunk and cradled his head in his hands. What the fuck was wrong with him? How could he ever think that what he'd done was acceptable? He'd owed it to her to come back. At the very least, he should have returned with Rick and the others and talked to her, explained what was happening. Then she would have had a chance to either say goodbye or to come away with him.

He shifted position until he had one leg stretched out before him, cushioning his back against the cold, hard bed frame with Carol's pillow. She would have come, he knew...would not have hesitated had he given her that option. And as uncertain and dangerous as being on the road again would have been, at least they would have been together for whatever time they had left. Merle was back but without Carol to love, Daryl had never felt more alone.

What the hell was the point of thinkin' about what he coulda done, what choices he shoulda made? Daryl grabbed one of his ruined bolts from off the floor and fidgeted distractedly with the broken tip, trying to sort through the conflicts roiling inside of him. He was severely pissed... at Merle for putting him into an impossible position, but at himself, too, for how badly he'd handled it. He felt trapped by circumstances, his instincts telling him that the prison was a deathtrap even while he knew in his heart he would defend it against attack with his last breath. And he was deeply ashamed at failing to live up to Carol's expectations of him, at failing to prove himself better than his upbringing had led so many others to believe.

It was in the midst of this emotional turmoil that Carol came around the corner, pausing in the doorway when she saw him reclined on her bed.

"I haven't had a chance to say, I'm glad you came back," she said, her expression somewhat guarded.

"To what?" he said, glancing around her cell in disdain. "All this?"

"This is our home," she replied, daring to come in and sit on a stool a few feet away from the bed.

"This is a tomb," he rasped, finally daring to meet her gaze. He saw pain flicker in her eyes the moment he said it and felt even worse. He let it go, though, without trying to explain what he really meant. It was just as well if she thought he'd intended it as a slight of some sort...the sooner she walked away from him, the better. And if she hated him at the end of it all, maybe it would make it so much easier for her in the long run.

She looked away, her face drawn in sadness. It struck him then, seeing how the soft light from the windows formed a pale white aura around her face, how truly beautiful she was, how much he'd missed just being this close to her. He wished he could comfort her, could take her in his arms and fix everything with a kiss, but he knew he'd forever lost the right to touch her.

"That's what T-Dog called it," she said softly, catching and holding his gaze again as she spoke. "I thought he was right – 'til you found me."

His firm resolve to keep her at a distance shattered apart when he saw the undiminished love and compassion on her face. He stared at her for a few seconds before giving her a small smile, his frustration and anger abruptly doused by her cool, soothing presence. The back of his throat began to ache, almost as if he was about to cry, and he hung his head in shame that he'd ever believed he could push her away so easily.

"He's your brother but he's not good for you," she added gravely, and he glanced up again at her words. He'd been right when he told Rick she'd understand...it was clear that she knew him better than anyone else, and could sense the source of his distress without even being told what was at the root of it. "Don't let him bring you down. After all, look how far you've come."

He arched his eyebrow in surprised disbelief and scanned the cramped little cell. Bluish paint was peeling off the walls in chunks, rust-stained plumbing was leaking water onto the floor, and the dank stench of damp cement hung heavy in the air. As he met her gaze again she smiled mischievously and he snorted in shared amusement, the bleak humour of their situation inescapable.

That ability to make him smile, to help him find something in their stark frikkin' lives to laugh about…it was just one more thing to love about her.

Daryl grew serious again, letting seconds of silence tick by between them as he struggled to find the right words. "Carol…I know there's nothin' I can say…"

"You made the decision you felt you had to make," she cut in, moving from the stool to sit beside him on the mattress. "Maggie told me that they made you choose. I guess after what happened between them and Merle at Woodbury, I can't blame Rick for forcing the issue, but Daryl…how could you not go with your brother? I remember how despondent you were, those first few days after he disappeared. There isn't one of us here who wouldn't want a second chance like that with someone we loved and lost."

She reached up and shyly stroked his bare forearm, her warmth and strength moving through him like a balm. "But I'm not going to lie and tell you that it didn't hurt, believing you were gone for good. When Rick came through those gates without you…"

Carol turned her head, covering her mouth with a trembling hand and closing her eyes as the memory of that moment overcame her. Glistening tears clung to the dark fans of her lashes where they rested on her cheeks, and Daryl's heart lurched painfully as he witnessed for himself her raw, crushing sorrow.

He instantly tossed the bolt aside and sat up far enough that he could gather her gently against him. "Shhhh...I'm sorry, so sorry. I'll ain't ever gonna leave you behind like that again. Nothin' short of death will keep me away, I swear."

She wept quietly into the crook of his neck, her arms tightening around his ribs as he slowly rubbed her back and rocked her. God, it was so good to be holding her again...to feelwhole again. Even though he'd wounded her so badly, she had come back to him. Was still his. He going to treat her love like the gift it was from this point on, even if he wasn't worthy of it.

It wasn't until he saw his hands, stained and grimy against her clean, pale skin, that he realized he hadn't washed for days...and likely smelled like it, too. If Carol noticed, though, it didn't seem to matter to her. As her sobs trailed off into sniffles, she gradually relaxed in his arms, tucking her head up under his chin and stretching her legs over his on the narrow bed.

He sighed peacefully, leaning his head back against the pillow and closing his eyes for the first time since the rescue party had set out for Woodbury. If he had any sense, he would forego a nap and get washed up so he could show Carol exactly how much she meant to him, and how lost he had been without her. But the weight of her body pinning his to the mattress felt too good to leave, even for the time it would take to rinse away the filth. There would be time enough later for a bath...time enough, too, to make love to her with such passion that she might even forget he was ever gone at all. For now, though, he had all he wanted in the world and more than he deserved, and he let fatigue gradually claim him.

~fin~
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Embrace