Gravity | By : FemmeBono Category: 1 through F > The Big Bang Theory Views: 9703 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Bang Theory, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Cht 7
“Alright, spill!” Penny hissed. “Sheldon’s had sex before??”
“How’d you know about that?” Missy asked, amazed.
“Sheldon just told me.”
“He didn’t tell ya what happened?” she drawled.
“No. We didn’t even think he had a deal at all. So give.”
“Well, of course my silly brother has a deal,” Missy laughed. “He just doesn’t like nobody to know he does. Becky Thatcher’s what started that.”
“Becky Th—wait!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I swear that’s her name. Parents read too dern many books,” Missy muttered. “But she’s what started it, right before he went off to college. So I guess he was about eleven at the time and he had a big ole crush on that girl. All the little fellas did, but Shelly finally got up the gumption to do something about it.”
“Oh please tell me he didn’t have sex at eleven!”
“Nooo! Yer reading me wrong. This is where the’ icky girl’ thing started. I’m getting to the good part, just hang on!”
“Okay…”
“Okay, so Becky rode the bus with us. And Shelly Bean decided he was a man of action and that he was going to let her know what his feelins was. So he dressed up real smart one day, pair of Justin Ropers Daddy had bought him, his best button-up for church, and his Wranglers. Soon as Becky stepped up on the bus, he popped up in his seat and started reciting that balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. It was sorta sweet, but then all the other kids on the bus started laughing, and so did Becky. Sheldon was so ashamed he jumped off at the next stop and ran all the way home. He stayed in his room for two days and when he finally came out, he started working on that death ray. He also swore off liking girls and to this day swears up and down he hates the humanities.”
“Wow. Poor Sheldon!” Penny sighed. Then, remembering her mission, she straightened again. “Okay, now get to the sex part.”
“Well, that was after Shelly came home with his first PhD. And that’s why he doesn’t like strange folks in his room.”
“Okay.”
“George had a party one night—well, let me back up here a minute—Shelly came back with that doctorate, and he had a little more man on him than when all the girls had seen him last, ya know? He wasn’t wearing bowties or suit jackets no more and some of them kinda took a likin to him. Plus he was fresh blood, ya know?”
“Oh yeah. Small town, got it.”
“Right. Well along comes Lisa Turnbull. She’d just got her braces off and her daddy was a doctor in town so she was used to havin nice things. She was that one what always wanted the best of everything. Well, here’s Shelly back and he’s a doctor, smart as a whip, and going places. So she set her sights on him and he didn’t know what hit him. Didn’t help that she had really grown into herself, if ya catch my drift.”
“Oh sure,” Penny marveled. Was this really Dr. ‘Whack a doodle’ Cooper they were talking about?
“Yeah, so she starts flirtin with him hard and heavy every chance she could get, and at first he really thought she was just shinin him on, till she cornered him behind Lester Butler’s store one day. Girl backed him right up to the wall, grabbed one of his butt cheeks in each hand and planted one on him. Then she tucked her number in his front pocket and copped a feel before she walked away. Poor Shelly didn’t know what to do with hisself!”
“Wait a second!” Penny interjected. “Whoa whoa whoa! Sheldon said he’d never kissed anyone before Amy!”
“Shelly doesn’t count nothing if he doesn’t want to. ‘S a matter of fact, as soon as I come around the corner of the store and that little trick sashayed away like the cat that got into the cream, he told me flat out that nothing happened—‘cept I was watching the whole time.”
Penny heard Missy’s smug chuckle over the line and shook her head in disbelief. Come to think of it, Beverly Hofstadter had planted one on him too, and he didn’t count that either…
“Okay, so did he call her or what?”
“Naw, I gave him so much hell on the way home picking at him that he didn’t do a thing about it. Then a week later, Mama and Daddy went to a livestock show over in Harlingen and didn’t come back til next day, so Junior decided to throw a party. Lisa got herself invited, of course, so while most everbody was out behind the barn, or getting busy in the loft, or cow-tippin or whatever, Lisa decided she was gone go visit Shelly, if ya get my meaning.”
A brief vision of a much younger Sheldon screaming Danger! danger! flashed through her mind. “Yeah, got it.”
“Well. He woke up when she slid in beside him, naked, of course. He wasn’t exactly trying to kick her out though cause when she woke him up, she woke him up good and proper. But she tried climbin on top of him and thought she’d take the bull by the horn so to speak.”
Missy stopped and snickered at this before continuing. “Well, Shelly wasn’t havin none of that, besides you know how he is about germs and all kinda infectious disease and whatnot, so he flipped her on her back and grabbed one of the condoms Junior was always throwing at him.”
“Throwing condoms at Sheldon? What?”
“He always said if Shelly got laid it would loosen him up some. Improve his mood, that kinda thing. Anyways, he proceeded to prove to ole Lisa that if you mess with the bull you liable to get the horn. Well, she did sure enough get the horn. Thing was about the time they were singing hallelujah, in came Pete Shillinghoff and Jenna Tatum looking for a spot to get busy in too. They stumbled in, flipped the light, and there was Shelly and Lisa wrapped around each other like a slice of bacon around a nice juicy steak.”
“Ohh!” Penny cringed. She knew first-hand how it felt to have someone walk in while she was right in the middle of doing the nasty, so she could only imagine how Sheldon would take it, especially his first time.
“Oh is right. He started yelling, kicked all of them out, including Lisa, tossed her clothes at her and demanded that no one was allowed in his room ever again. None of us ever said a thing either, because if we talked about him and Lisa, he would have told Mama and Daddy about the party and then we all woulda been in trouble.”
Well no wonder, Penny thought. “So how did you know what happened before whatstheirfaces popped in?”
“Oh well, Lisa told Jenna since they were best friends at the time, and Jenna told Natalie Ramirez who told Angelica Ramon and she told Junior because they were dating then, and Junior tried picking on Shelly about it, but that’s when Shelly came back with blackmailing Junior about the party if he ever said anything else about it. So we haven’t talked since.”
“Huh.”
“So, why’d this come up anyway?”
“Huh? Oh, no reason. Just ah, we kinda played Truth or Dare and it came up.”
Penny ended the call with Missy and took the trip back downstairs much slower, with each step thinking about Sheldon and his eccentricities. But one thing occurred to her and that’s what mattered. Sheldon really did have a deal, and if he did have a deal it explained his behavior with Trevor. Sheldon Cooper was jealous… Well then. What to do with that…what to do with that.
S`````````````````````````````PWhen Penny walked into the apartment, Sheldon was seated at his computer, typing away as though nothing had happened—except he studiously ignored her, not even looking up. So, if he prefers the ball in his court, we’ll just toss it there and see what the deal is, thought Penny.“Okay, Doctor Cooper, since you ruined my date, you owe me a dinner.”
Sheldon started at this, and glanced up finally. He took a long, measured look at her as though trying to discern her intent.
“Very well, it is Anything Can Happen Thursday, after all,” he said, rising from his chair. “Grab your coat. We’ll go to Celestino.”
“That’s the Italian place over on Lake.”
“Yes it is.”
“Okay, well I’ll just get my keys, sweetie, and we can go,” Penny said, flabbergasted. Who was this Sheldon, and did she even know him at all? She stepped back over to her apartment, grabbed her keys out of her bowl and made it back out to the landing just as Sheldon was locking the door to 4A.
He stepped over and snagged the keys before she could say anything, then tripped lightly down the stairs saying, “let’s get a move-on Penny, there’s still time to get back and watch Battlestar Galactica.”
And there’s my little Whack a Doodle, she mused. He’s still in there.
“Wait, what are you doing with my keys though?”
“I’m driving! Less talkin, more walkin woman, let’s go!”
“You’re what?!” she said, before following him down.
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