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The Trade Off	By : LotornoMiko Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time Views: 5409 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Once Upon A Time fandom. Nor do I make any money off of it or this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Trade Off
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Trade 11
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 16-Sixteen
- 17-Seventeen
- 18-Eighteen
- 19-Nineteen
- 20-Twenty
- 21-Twenty One
- 22-Twenty Two
- 23-Twenty Three
- 24-Twenty Four
- 25-Twenty Five
- 26-Twenty Six
- 6
- 7
- 8
Belle spent the remainder of the night, in a kind of sexual daze, what felt like hour after hour devoted to the pirate's near insatiable appetite. To his every desire and impulse, Hook ready and willing to act on every wicked thought he had, the man seeming to care little about sparing Belle's own sensibilities. Pushing Belle to her limits and then some, thoroughly exhausting her and himself in the process, yet still trying for more.
It left Belle with little time to think, let alone time to truly feel. It left her existing in an odd state, Belle somewhere between a numbness of the soul and the body's sexual ecstasy. Suffering shame, humiliation, and a reluctant, unwanted kind of pleasure at Hook's hands.
It was a vicious, relentless cycle, Belle feeling worse the more pleasure she was made to feel, her every climax bringing her closer to breaking down completely. She felt abused, felt worse than if Hook had merely used her for his own satisfaction. Belle felt betrayed, her body becoming her worst enemy, it's sensitivity her undoing.
It left her feeling out of control, helpless. Left her writhing in a kind of mindless ecstasy even as Belle was all too aware of the pirate's eyes on her. His greedy gaze seemed to drink in her every expression, her every wriggling movement. Even with those ashamed tears prickling at her eyes, Hook stared at her. His own blue gaze dark and hungry, burning with a heat that was scorching.
It was really too much for Belle to withstand, the woman wanting to hide from Hook's eyes. From the way he watched her with open appreciation, wearing that damnable smirk that spoke of just how much Hook enjoyed the reactions he got from her. It was shaming, it was belittling, and most of all it was SCARY. Terrifying to be the focus of such a man. Frightening to reveal such a side of herself to a man who wasn't even the one that Belle loved.
Nor was Hook in love with Belle. There was nothing between them, the two all but strangers despite all the sex they had had. And no amount of it, or Hook's desperate attempts, could force it to be otherwise, even as the pirate seemed determined to force a bond between them. Trying for an intimacy he had no right to, despite what Belle had unwittingly agreed to. Attempting to give meaning to it, to make it more than just sex, or so Belle believed. She knew she could be fooling herself, could be putting false meaning to Hook's actions. For all Belle knew, maybe he was just naturally oversexed, and acting accordingly to his libido.
But still it was hard. Difficult to endure, and even more so to believe. Having to put up with his touches, his caresses, his mouth kissing all over her body. Hook didn't half at it with the sex, he put all his focus and energy into the act, making Belle wonder just how much more intense things could be if he had had some ounce of feeling for her. But Belle didn't think she could stand any more than what had already happened, the depth of focus and feeling Hook had already shown her.
It was made worse by the fact he wouldn't stop touching her. Even after he spent himself inside her, Hook kept on the attack, relentless in his attempts to pleasure Belle senseless. Leaving her exhausted, drifting in and out of sleep, to the feel of his hands on her body. As unsettling as that was, it was worse the sham of intimacy the acts tried to replicate. The way Hook made her so damn aware of him, both outside and in.
It was why Belle felt an immense relief to awaken in an empty bed. To finally find the pirate gone, the bed growing cold besides her. And yet disorientation lingered, Belle having grown so used to the near constant attention, she almost felt empty from the lack of it. She certainly felt cold, huddling deeper under the blankets then nearly jolted upright with the uneasy realization that the pirate had taken the time to cover her before he left.
Belle wasn't quite sure why Hook had bothered. And aside from the initial surprise, she didn't feel moved by his gesture of kindness. Not after the night she had had, Belle spoiled but not in a good way. Her entire body felt lethargic, downright exhausted from all the activity of the past few hours. Parts of her felt sore, a dull ache that wouldn't have been entirely unpleasant if it had been Rumplestiltskin who had been the cause.
And then the floodgates were opening, Belle giving into her tears. To her own grief and exhaustion, Belle burying her face against a pillow. Reeling with regrets, with her doubts and insecurities, and most of all mourning over the things she had lost. The immense price she had paid for making a desperate split decision when both choices had been equally unappealing. Equally devastating, Belle understanding that she would have lost Rumplestiltskin no matter what course she chose, only one delivering the break up all the sooner than the other.
Of course they would have tried to pretend otherwise. Belle and Rumplestiltskin would have tried to keep the relationship together, to keep the love going even as the man's hopes at reuniting with his son, were dashed. Belle knew Rumplestiltskin would have kept trying, would have turned to stronger and stronger magic, trying enchantments, potions, even curses. Anything that might get him one step closer to his son. But she was just as certain he would have failed, Belle remembering how hard it had been for Rumplestiltskin to make even that much potion to enchant a single item. A feat Rumplestiltskin had been sure he wouldn't be able to replicate, the man pinning all his hopes on the one item he could enchant.
Belle knew Rumplestiltskin would have eventually cracked under disappointment, as all his magic and power failed him. And once the realization sunk in, once Rumplestiltskin understood that all his endeavors had been for not, that he wouldn't be finding his son, he would have hated her. Would have despised her, and the poor choice she had made. And though Rumplestiltskin had tried to deny it, she had seen the truth in his eyes. The truth that made her weep harder because the man valued his son even more than he did her.
It had hurt to realize that, even as a part of her had suspected that. She may not have known Rumplestiltskin's reasons at the time, but years later? When he had finally told her about his son, explained that it had been all for Baelfor's sake that Rumplestiltskin had amassed such power, made such twisted deals, and an even worse curse? It had been what finally led to an understanding, Belle finally knowing just why Rumplestiltskin had panicked so at the power her kiss had held. Why he had not wanted to be free of his curse, the man clinging to his magic and power all the harder, rejecting Belle so that he could one day finally be with his son.
She had understood this, and STILL loved him. Belle had contented herself to come in second in Rumplestiltskin's heart. She had told herself it was enough, that she didn't mind Baelfor coming first in nearly everything Rumplestiltskin chose to do. She might even have lied to herself and hoped that things would change once Baelfor WAS found, that maybe then Rumplestiltskin would finally be free to obsess about her instead of his son.
But all chance of finding out if that could come true, had been ruined the instant Hook had presented her with that awful choice. That so called deal that hadn't really been one, Belle feeling boxed in, making a split second decision to cast aside all her hopes and dreams, in order to secure Rumplestiltskin's. She didn't regret being so self sacrificing. It was simply in her nature to put the interests of others before her own. Be it Rumplestiltskin, the people of her father's kingdom, or even that cursed prince who had once begged her to show him mercy.
Self sacrificing as she was, Belle couldn't help but wish for a show of gratitude. Some sign of appreciation from the man that she loved, letting her know it was okay, even if the act she had done was not easily tolerated. But she wasn't going to get any of that, Rumplestiltskin flat out having told her how he couldn't stand the thought of what she had done. Emphasizing just how unappetizing her two choices had been, and Rumplestiltskin acting as if the only way things could possibly be set right was if Belle allowed him to kill Hook.
Her refusal to allow Rumplestiltskin to go even deeper in debt to the darkness in his soul, only upset the man further. He couldn't seem to understand why Belle wouldn't allow him this much, and in that moment, he hadn't seem particular fond of her sense of honor. Though he had proclaimed them all unworthy of Belle, of her choices and sacrifices, it hadn't stopped Rumplestiltskin from leaving. Hadn't stopped him from shutting off all feeling, Rumplestiltskin going so far as to not even cast one look back at Belle. Did he think it was a clean break, that it would be less painful for them both if he just left? It wasn't, at least not for her, Belle unable to not think about Rumplestiltskin and all that had happened without the turbulence of emotions.
Belle didn't want things to have ended this way, but didn't know how, IF she could fix them. Certainly she couldn't set things right so long as Hook was stubbornly clinging to the bargain he had made her. A bargain that forced Belle to be the means to his revenge, Hook not at all content to hurt Rumplestiltskin merely one time. Belle knew as long as she was forced to be with Hook, to play at being the pirate's woman, Rumplestiltskin would be hurting. And so would Belle, the woman wanting to be with the man she loved, and not with Hook.
But short of Hook losing interest in his revenge, how could Belle ever hope to be free of the bargain? She didn't know, and that left her colder than ice, Belle shivering under the blankets. Wondering if she was doomed to forever be in Hook's bed, and feeling as if the longer she stayed with the pirate, the less chance she had of reuniting with Rumplestiltskin.
None of this was what she would have. Nor was it anything Belle had ever imagined for herself, once she had made the decision to go with Rumplestiltskin all those years ago. Even as Belle had agreed to be his slave, she had felt as though she was seizing hold of her destiny. Turning her back on arranged marriages and the role her father would have her play.
Now she was back, forced into an assigned role through her own decisions. Trapped as Hook's woman, and holding not an ounce of real feeling for the man, despite what he tried to do with her. She felt miserable, Belle unable to stop wallowing in that feeling. Crying under the blanket, and eventually inside the bathroom's surprisingly modern shower.
It felt good to get clean, or at least it did until she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Belle's eyes widened in disbelief, staring at the kiss marks that covered her neck and collar. She had similar marks on the inside of her thighs, and even one over her right breast. Hook had not been shy about branding his lip's mark on her body, that was for damn sure.
Cheeks an angry red, Belle hurried out of the bathroom. She'd search out and attempt to pull on her clothing, the sight of her torn pantyhose almost bringing her to tears once more. Angry, Belle would brush at her eyes, then resume buttoning up her blouse. She'd be looking for her shoes, when Hook walked into the room, the pirate carrying a covered something and smiling.
Belle shot daggers at him with the fierceness of her glare, and still the pirate's mood didn't suffer. He merely set down the tray, and walked over to her, attempting to kiss a hello out of her.
"Cheer up pet." He was saying, catching her around the waist. "I've gone and made you something to eat."
For one instant she let her surprise show, Belle momentarily forgetting to glare at Hook. "You cook?"
"I can manage a thing or two." Hook admitted. "I've had to, since losing my crew to the curse."
Belle WAS curious, but refused to take the hint to ask him more about himself. Hook's smile didn't falter, the man offering up a small tidbit of information to her, almost like a peace offering. "I'm afraid of her highness Cora knew NOTHING about preparing food. For all her alchemy and potion brewing, if it wasn't magic, she just couldn't manage."
Belle knew from her time with Rumplestiltskin, that making potions and enchantments was similar to mixing ingredients for a meal. It was magic that made all the difference, that gave the added boost to make a brew an enchantment. And like Cora, Rumplestiltskin hadn't bothered to do much if any food cooking, especially not with Belle on hand to serve him night and day.
But she didn't offer up that information to Hook, just staring and maintaining her silence. Hook's smile seemed to falter for one second, and then he was shrugging. "I suppose in the future you'll want to be in charge of the meals. Don't worry, the kitchen's well stocked with goodies from our land."
That ALMOST got Belle to speak, the woman intrigued despite herself. As good as the food was in this realm, there were things the two worlds did not share. Delicacies she would have given almost anything to taste again, including a certain pudding that had been a speciality of her father's kingdom.
And then she remembered she was upset, that she was angry and sad, and downright depressed. Belle pursed her lips together in refusal, trying to hold her ground as Hook attempted to lead her over to the table.
"Come love." Hook said in a coaxing voice. "Don't you want to see what I've got for you?"
Belle shook her head no, giving him more politeness than she felt Hook had a right to. "No, thank you. I am not hungry."
"Not hungry?" He gave her a look that spoke of how he knew she wasn't being honest. "After all we did? You have to be starving."
She was actually pretty close to it, and yet she still refused to take another step forward. "I will be fine."
"Come Belle, what does this refusal gain you?" Hook questioned. "You'll only end up exhausted, the last thing you need when you should be building up your strength."
Just for spite, she WANTED to wither away. As if that alone would somehow punish Hook. Belle lifted her chin, the very picture of stubborn defiance. Hook's eyes narrowed in response, and then he was right in her space, pressing their bodies together as he put his hand on her shoulder.
"The way I see it love, you got two options at this point."
Belle's glare deepened, her tone almost haughty. "I am not going to strike any more bargains with you."
"I'm not making it a choice." Hook retorted, which only made Belle's unease increase. "You either sit down and enjoy a meal with me. Or..." His hand presumptively slid down her front, feeling up her breasts as he talked. "You can take off your clothes, and get right back into bed with me."
That proved to be the final straw for Belle, the woman unable to tolerate Hook's shoddy attempts at manipulating her into eating his food. Worse yet, she wasn't entirely sure if he wasn't serious about her getting back into bed with him, a situation Belle wasn't in any way ready to repeat. Not now when she had just gotten dressed, when her body had finally stopped tingling in memory of the sex filled night.
She wasn't about to have sex with him right now, but Belle wasn't about to be forced into eating a civil meal with the pirate either. With her eyes flashing as his only warning, Belle hauled back and slapped him with all her might.
Hook's face actually turned to the right from the force of her blow, his smirk and his menace gone. Belle found herself breathing hard, as though she had run ten miles at full speed and was only now taking the chance to truly rest.
"Neither option appeals to me." Belle finally broke the silence between them. "Keep your food, and keep your bed, I want no part of any of it."
"Are you trying to go back on the deal you made?" Hook demanded, his thoughts unfathomable in that glittering blue gaze of his. "After I did everything to uphold mine?"
She wanted to scream yes, and yet Belle hesitated. Wondering how much worse things could become, for her, for Rumplestiltskin. Worrying Hook would find a way to get at Rumplestiltskin, hurt him, and make Belle's own sacrifice all for nothing.
"No, of course not." She wouldn't slump in dejection, holding his gaze with her own angry one. "But the deal wasn't that you get to bully me any way you please."
"You didn't even know what you were agreeing to." Hook pointed out.
"A fact you were quick to take advantage of!" Belle retorted.
"If you had any complaints about that, you should have let Rumplestiltskin kill me."
"I couldn't do that." Belle protested. "Not even to free myself from your clutches."
"Because you're honorable." Hook noted.
"Honorable to a fault it would seem." She muttered unhappily. She was even less thrilled to find Hook touching her, his hand cupping her cheek gently.
"You just need some experience at not getting played. I'm not surprised Rumplestiltskin didn't teach you better, he probably thought it would keep you nice and naive, innocent to the world and HIS wrongdoings." He tsked then, moving to bend over her. "It only set you up to be preyed upon by any who aren't afraid of him."
Belle jerked back before he could steal the kiss from her. She was sorely tempted to slap him again, feeling remarkably less innocent than she had once been.
"And I suppose you think you're the one to teach me?"
"I might." replied Hook. "If only to keep you from falling into the wrong hands. Rumplestiltskin's made many enemies. I'm sure any one of them would love to use you against him. " A sly, hooded look was given then. "Of course, that's provided he still has any feelings left for you at this point."
It was the worst thing he could have said, Belle struggling not to break down. Worse yet, she couldn't offer a true rebuttal, not sure of Rumplestiltskin's feelings, but also not wanting to reaffirm them and have Hook gloating over the hurt he was causing his enemy.
"Oh love..." Hook almost looked sympathetic, reaching now to brush away the fat tears that rolled down her cheeks. "Don't waste your time crying over him. Rumplestiltskin is just simply not worth it."
"You're terrible..." Belle whispered. "Being so cruel to me."
"It's not cruel to speak the truth about him." Hook argued. "And I doubt he is spending any time crying over you."
Rumplestiltskin was probably busy with something having to do with Baelfor, throwing himself into the work rather than think about Belle, and the deal she had made with Hook. Doing everything he could to not think about his heart breaking, shutting down his feelings completely. Belle almost envied Rumplestiltskin if that was the case, because she was simply feeling TOO much over everything that had happened.
Her own heart hurt, the pain almost more than Belle could bear. She wanted, needed a distraction, and yet everything Hook said, did, hell even when he merely LOOKED at her, reminded Belle of what she had lost. What she had given up, and though it had been done with the best of intentions, it still hurt. Still caused her immense pain and suffering.
The wound festering, Belle turned away from Hook. She'd angrily brush at her face, trying to stop the tears that were falling. But even telling herself it was pointless to cry, wasn't working. Not when her grief needed an outlet, needed time to properly process.
"Love?"
Somehow not flinching at the endearment, Belle moved to find and put on her shoes. She might have tried to walk out on Hook without any further acknowledgements, but the pirate refused to be simply ignored. He'd actually grab at her arm, stopping her just short of the wrecked doorway.
"Where do you think you're going?!" He demanded.
"What does it matter?" Belle asked, in a rough, broken voice. "You've gotten what you wanted."
He couldn't even deny it, his hand relaxing it's grip on her arm. Belle jerked the rest of the way free, and without another look back, walked out of the room. She thought she heard him say her name, but softly, the sound almost lost to the violent crash of something being thrown. It still didn't stop her from leaving, from going topside and then ultimately walking off the ship.
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To Be Continued......
Been feeling pretty run down tired these past few days. So not much writing was attempted. Then yesterday I seemed to get an energy boost, trashed my second attempt at starting this chapter and then wrote 20 KB of this. (Don't worry the two trashed attempts were only a bunch of paragraphs, maybe a page of writing at best.) I almost finished the chapter to, got all the way to before Belle put on her shoes before I got so sleepy I HAD to go to bed.
I like this chapter, but feel a little frustrated. I had been trying to get them to fight a little more, to be more angry. I have this moment which I hope to maybe be able to still use later, where Belle almost tearfully laments to Hook that she wants to go home. But maybe I shouldn't spoil what his response was....or maybe I should because I can't imagine he'll say it as snide as I first thought he would...not after what's gonna happen in the next couple of chapters.
Now I'm trying to decide what to work on. If I should get right to work on eight....or finally update one of my other fics so desperately in need of an update. *coughtRestriantcough* I do have in my head how the next chapter for this fic starts....but not looking forward to at least one of the interactions Belle has. But am looking forward to the aftermath of the aftermath of said interaction. XD
So we shall see! Hope to get a lot of writing done today to make up for the lack of this week.
---Michelle
- 6
- 7
- 8
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The Trade Off