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You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave	By : madradena Category: Star Trek > The Next Generation Views: 1693 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own ST:TNG nor Dreamland, nor the characters from either. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
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- 8
Deanna Troi watched her new patient for a few minutes as she was sitting there in her office on her couch. To call her entree of a moment ago quite baffling was an understatement. Emma had come in and looked her straight in the eye:
"Hi! Lieutenant Emma Jones. Transferred two days ago." she went to the couch and sat down as if she had been coming here for years now and started talking without looking into Deanna eyes "My marriage was a complete disaster." she stated matter of factly and went on on the same tone of voice "He regularly abused me though only mentally and used all means possible - a few of which you wouldn't be able to imagine - to get what he wanted. Mostly sexually but sometimes in other things too. He never actually used any violence, but as it was pointed out to me later on, mental abuse is just as harmful as any other form of it... I left him over two years ago and had to hide from him for a while, during which time I went to therapy to get over all of this. Therapy helped me to at least be able to interact with men, but I'm still scared of them from time to time. At the same time, sex is still something I crave after. Sometimes so much so that I feel there is a hunting instinct in me and I need to conquer one guy or the other as if they were some prey. To mess things even more up, I was in love with my previous therapist - strictly in a platonic sense - although this will not come up as a problem with you because I define myself as heterosexual." she finished and finally raised her gaze to meet Deanna's.
Deanna nodded after a moment "Nice to meet you, Emma." she smiled, but Emma felt she kept her distance. Maybe she came through a bit too rough even for a therapist.
"Well. I didn't mean to scare you or something." Emma said with an apologetic shrug "I just thought it was easier to fill you in on the first half of the film, so we can move on more quickly from where I left off with my previous therapist." she explained.
Deanna gave her a more heartfelt smile this time then locked her black gaze on her green one "Sometimes people use excessive honesty in order to cover up what they really want to keep a secret. You filled me in on the first half of the film, but only on the parts, which you have already come to terms with. You know all of this about yourself. But what really important is: how do you feel about all of this? And what did you miss out from your recount of this film of yours?" she explained patiently.
Emma nodded with a smile of approval: "You're not bad." she remarked "Passed this one." she added on a low voice as she leaned backwards on the couch.
"Passed?" Deanna asked curiously "Was this a test then?"
Emma shrugged: "Most people are overwhelmed when faced with ... as you phrased excessive honesty."
"You mean intimidated, rather." Deanna remarked.
Emma shrugged again "Whatever... I rather want to talk about something more practical. Something more at hand" she leaned forward to clasp her hands "I... I want to understand something." she began, and Deanna saw that she was very uncomfortable. She motioned for her to go on.
Emma was wringing her hands nervously "Yesterday. I had to go to Beverly's..." she looked up into Deanna's eyes questioningly "You know, Doctor Crusher. She is an old friend of mine." she explained quickly. Deanna nodded her assent and Emma went back to staring into nothing "Yeah, so we had a rehearsal of her play. And there were two things, you know. The first one was that I met this Commander Data outside the holodeck, and we shook hands and all, and you know, when I wanted to say my name, he finished it. He had looked up my record. It was ...it freaked me out. And the other one was that I met with the other people who would be playing in the play too. And there is this really embarrassed and shy guy, Reg. And we are teamed up to dance together. I was teaching him a simple waltz. And the more embarrassed he became at being so close to a woman the more I wanted to ... you know, hold him close. All the more, because there's this other girl, Sonya and I think she has a crush on him, and she was sooo jealous. It was just pure fun to watch." her expression then suddenly changed from being amused to indignant, and she looked into Deanna's eyes "I am not this person!" she exclaimed "I am not the person who takes pleasure in someone else's jealousy or embarrassment! And I should have started with the fact that this guy is utterly annoying! He drives me to nuts with his stuttering! And by being so embarrassed." she shook her head helplessly and shrugged "Now here is a little puzzle for you to unlock." she winced.
Deanna drew two conclusions from her story of which she only wanted to share one. The first one was that it was plain that Emma had been going to therapy for a long period with a high frequency, probably several times a week. She was completely in control of her therapy, knew what she wanted to discuss, knew what she needed help with. This - though unusual with new patients - made her work a lot easier.
The other conclusion she voiced aloud: "Emma, what I notice to be common in both stories is the fact that there is a certain amount of control involved in both situations. Data is a superior officer of yours, so he knows about the transfers to and from the Enterprise. He also remembers every fact he is exposed to. No wonder he knew who you were. Still you are scared. The control was not yours. It was not you who had the ability to portion the amount of information to be shared about you. He knows your record. Thus taking the control out of your hand. The other story is the same pattern although in reverse: you were in control over both of them. You had the opportunity to embarrass Lieutenant Barclay and make Lieutenant Gomez jealous. So you did that to feel that you actually possess that control over them."
Emma bowed her head. Yes. This hadn't been the first time she struggled about her being a control-freak. She then nodded and smiled approvingly "You ARE good."
Deanna shook her head with a slight smile "You realize you are doing the same thing here and now by commenting on my therapeutic abilities. While you praise me, you are the one assessing me, not reversed. You are in control."
Now that one really surprised Emma. And she had to admit that Deanna was right. She leaned back on the couch with a bemused expression: "Alright so... what you are suggesting is that I should not consider Data to be a scary stalker and should help these two miserable teenagers trapped in adult bodies to hook up."
Deanna just gave her an amused smile before moving their conversation forward.
Exiting the Counsellor's office, Emma almost bumped into Data. He was standing just outside of Deanna's door, again deep in thought.
"Hi!" she greeted him a bit breathless and tried hard to smile - here was the time to deal with that control-issue!
"Hello." he equalled and looked straight into her eyes.
She pointed to the door behind her with her thumb: "Going in?"
He opened his mouth and then closed it after a moment bowing his head. He really did not know what to do. He would probably be sitting through the session in silence as he did the last two times.
She stepped closer frowning: "Are you okay?" she asked and seemed to be genuinely concerned.
He looked into her eyes again: "I am perfectly fine. Thank you for your concern."
She smiled: "Concern is part of the job." she replied and found herself trying to figure out the color of his eyes. It seemed yellow, but that would not be natural - then again... why should he have a natural eye-color? Somehow she found it difficult to think of him as anything but a human guy - with a strange but not unattractive skin complexion - and now she was a bit shocked by the realization that... yeah, he was not a human guy.
Oh, god, why do you look so utterly lost, sweetheart? she suddenly wanted to say with an empathic smile at his expression, because he looked like a little boy who lost his way home. But thought better of it and just shrugged.
"Well, just keep in mind that we are having our next rehearsal tomorrow at 1600. Try to get over with this" she pointed again to the door "till then." she finished with a smile.
"Certainly." he nodded but did not return the smile.
Frustration ran through her features then she waved "bye" to him and was off shaking her head. He felt nothing but numbness again. Even bemusement slipped away a few days ago. He might have as well turned the chip off...
- 6
- 7
- 8
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You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave