Lawyers, Guns & Money

It had been decided that since no bank would be able to handle the transaction they were going to make, they would take the private train to the closest mint in Charlotte, North Carolina. Then head off to Denver to wait for McTavish and the bodyguards to complete their negotiations. Clem wanted to go home and see her father and Vic had never been to Denver.

Mr. and Mrs. Thaddeus Jones registered into the largest suite in the Brown Palace Hotel. With two bedrooms located at either end of a large parlor, Vic and the Kid were on one end of the room and Heyes and Clem, the other. They would dine together in the morning and the evening, but rarely saw each other in between. Vic had actually pulled out her fashions from Paris, Venice, New York and Milan. She wore girl stuff everyday. The Kid thought she looked a little uncomfortable after the first few days. Without pockets to stuff her hands in, she didn’t seem to know what to do with them. But she still managed to take his breath away every morning when she emerged from the dressing room. As for him, he found his familiar blue suit and bowler in the trash. She thought browns and blacks set his blue eyes off more effectively. Then they went to the armory to look at the latest Colt revolvers. Curry was like a kid in a candy store. Checking the balance on this one, the recoil on that one, and the handles on another. Vic finally convinced him to get four of them, just in case. And they danced, every night in the hotel’s new ballroom. Vic would dance until her feet hurt and then she would take off her shoes and dance some more.

Any telegraphs from McTavish were delivered immediately to the suite. The Western Cattleman’s Association was the first to be checked off of the list, then Wells Fargo and Western Pacific. McTavish was proud to relay to Heyes that they had actually offered him lucrative positions to design security measures for their companies. The irony gave them all a good laugh.

Then they waited for McTavish to spread the word to the legal community. It hit the newspapers next, in Wyoming, Utah, Montana, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas and Colorado. “ Warrants Rescinded for Heyes and Curry” the headlines screamed; with the by-line “ for significant value and aid rendered to the establishments and the redemption from the outlaw lifestyle.” The Governor of Wyoming sent them a telegram; Heyes lit a cigar with it and threw it into the fireplace. Lom sent a telegram of congratulations and surprise, the Kid kept that one.

Clem sold her picture of them to the Denver Post; which infuriated Heyes and the Kid. Vic was beside herself; afraid it would ruin her wedding plans.

A week after the picture fiasco died down; a new headline appeared, “ Society Princess to Marry Outlaw.” It was a disaster. It was a sideshow. The media came from all points to cover the big event. The largest church was appointed with the most lavish flowers, silk and tulle. An orchestra had been brought in from the opera house to perform. The reception would seat five hundred. Every caterer and baker in town had been engaged. The wedding dress itself had twenty seamstresses working around the clock on it. The twenty foot train would have hand-sewn pearls and one-carat diamonds outlined the plunging neckline of the Chinese silk creation. The Governor of Wyoming would be in attendance as well as the mayor down to the local sheriff. It was rumored that the Devil’s Hole Gang would attend. It promised to be the most extravagant event of the year, speculated at over one hundred thousand dollars.

The Kid stood with Heyes looking in the mirror at the reflections of themselves in black morning coats. “You sure this is the right thing to do?”

Heyes patted him on the shoulder, “Kid, we’re about to find out.”

With guests assembled, Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes took their places at the altar, waiting for the bride to make her grand entrance. The Kid took one last moment to scan the crowd and finally smiled. There sat Vic, fourth row back middle; dressed in light blue velvet with ribbons in her long black curls. He loved the feel of velvet around her curves; he definitely wanted to dance with that dress. She smiled sweetly and winked at him and he returned it. He watched her rise with the Bridal March and get lost in the crowd. The doors opened at the back of the church and twelve bridesmaids marched through followed by Clementine Hale on her father’s arm. Slowly, she proceeded, savoring every moment of the proceedings, gushing with the ostentatious parade assembled to honor her marriage to the legendary Hannibal Heyes.

Victoria didn’t hear the words that were spoken; she heard despair and rage. She didn’t see the exchange of rings; she saw the edge of blackness. She didn’t feel the orchestra playing the recessional, she felt Heyes’ heart breaking and she bit her lip to hold back tears. She numbly passed through the reception line, making the required small talk with the bridesmaids, kisses on the cheek, fake hugs. Finally she saw Jed and her heart leapt, she had never been so glad to see him. He saw her and smiled, as she approached to collect her kiss on the cheek, he grabbed her and dipped her backwards, his lips finding hers on the way down. They hung there for a moment. Vic remembered her hand falling and hitting the floor. Then he brought her back upright again.

“ I’d like one of those,” exclaimed an older lady behind Vic in line. The Kid blushed slightly. “ She’s my wife.” He explained.

Vic came eye to eye with Clementine and she tried to keep her cool. She congratulated her and kissed her cheek, wishing her well. She swore Clem’s skin felt like snakeskin. She stepped in front of Heyes and tried to smile warmly. She congratulated him and put her hand on his cheek. Instead of kissing his cheek, she gently placed her lips on his and tried to will strength for him into that kiss. She looked into his eyes as she started to back away and saw the surprised look on his face. She glanced at Clem to see if she had watched it, but she was busily recounting her harrowing veil experience to a guest. She was backing away when Heyes reached out, took her hand, raising it to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

Pictures were posed for that would surely end up on the front page by morning, dinner was attacked and the cake was cut and thrown. The Kid was fulfilling his obligatory dance with the maid of honor; watching Vic dance with Mayor Stoddard. His hand would creep down her back and she would promptly snatch it back up again. That’s my girl. He made some more small talk and noticed out of the corner of his eye, Vic stomp on the Mayor’s foot and walk off to the champagne fountain. He felt compelled to have a chat with the old boy out back; but a headline flashed before his eyes “ Kid Curry arrested for Flogging Mayor at Society Wedding.” I hope you stomped him real hard, darlin’.

He caught up with her after a few more dances. He took her in his arms as the music began, savoring the feel of the soft velvet hugging her curves; pulling her closer. When he leaned down to talk to her, he was also looking down the front of her dress; delighting in the view of her cleavage. “ Some shindig, huh?”

“ Well, let’s put it this way; from where I sat it was more like a pig making a forty yard dash to the trough.”

“ That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?” Curry was a little taken aback by her candor.
“ You know she spent her ten thousand in two days.” Vic informed him.
“ Doesn’t surprise me. Nothing surprises me about Clem anymore.” He looked over at Heyes and Clem dancing away at the other rend of the room. “ Why did you kiss him?”
“ For good luck, I really do want him to be happy.” Vic smiled and looked up. “ Weren’t jealous, were you?”
“ Just not sharing any more girls with Heyes, that’s all.” The Kid emphasized. “ We’ve each got our own and that’s how it’s going to stay.”
“ Jed…”
Uh oh
“ Can we go back to the hotel now?”
Whew! “ Let’s go give our farewells.”


The carriage ride back to the Brown Palace was silent with Vic just resting her head on Jed’s shoulder the entire way. They had both been in the path of a tornado that was finally passed. The Kid was still upset about Clem’s picture sold to the paper. He had wanted anonymity with his freedom. Now, he felt he was still going to be looking over his shoulder; he was an even bigger target for anyone wanting to make a quick name for himself. He was resigning himself to the fact that he was going to have to be a shootist all of his life. He would have to constantly practice and be just as hungry for perfection of the art as when he had first started. He kissed the top of Vic’s head. He didn’t want her to ever see him lying dead in the street. For the first time in his life, he had a chance at a real future and he wanted to ride it all the way.

Curry lit the lamps in the shared parlor and ushered his wife into their bedroom. Vic screamed.
“ Darlin’, you’ve really got to get that under control.” Curry joked. He surveyed the room and decided the concierge had lived up to his promise.

The fragrance had hit her at the doorway, and in the lamplight, she could see a room filled with red roses. Everywhere, every surface, even large vases on the floor. Rose petals scattered on the carpeting, petals covering the bed. She stood with her hand to her throat, just drinking in the sight; settling into the atmosphere. She didn’t feel Jed’s hands unfastening her dress until it was half off. “ Hey,” she looked back over her shoulder, “don’t I get a kiss first?”
“ You get a bath first,” Jed informed as he continued to undress her.
“ Do I need one?” Vic was concerned.
“ You’ll want this one…” he continued the disrobing until she was finally naked before him. The Kid liked the way she had gotten more unabashed about being naked in front of him; he could almost swear she liked what it would do to him.
She turned around and they raced each other, giggling, to hurriedly remove his clothing. He gave her a big hug and walked her backward, toward the dressing table.
“ This is not the way to the bath…”
He reached down to grab something out of the drawer. “ Turn around and close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“ VIC!”
She spun around immediately.
“ Your wedding present is ready.”
She could feel his hands at her neck and the cool feel of metal coming to rest around it. “ I thought you forgot.”
“ How could I forget a tradition I didn’t even know about?” he laughed. “ Go ahead and open your eyes.

She saw the color of the emeralds, the glint of diamonds wrapped neatly around her throat. The stones were cut oval and encircled her like a snake, seeming to mirror her every movement. “ It’s truly beautiful.” She turned to hug him. “ The West Wind?”

“Sweetheart, you’re married to a man with a mine that knows how to use it. C’mon, let’s go get it wet.” He led her into a candlelit private bath, with iced champagne waiting; again rose petals covered the floor and tables. Petals floated in the water of the large cast iron tub. He settled in on the high back of the tub and held out his hand to steady her over the side. She smiled and fixed each leg on either side of him so she could sit in his lap, facing him. They drank champagne and shared one of his cigars, luxuriating in the smell of the roses, the warmth of the water and each other.

She decided that she had been resting against his hardness long enough and leaned forward to kiss him, lingering on his lips and whispering against them. “ I love you.”
With Curry sitting and her on his lap, he didn’t have to lean over or lift her up to kiss; he liked the change. Liked being face-to-face, chest-to-chest. She seemed to sustain the same kiss forever, and then she came up to her knees so that her breasts were tantalizingly close to his mouth. He pulled her close enough to delight in them until her nipples were hard and she was murmuring her desire to him. He reached under the water since she was still on her knees, and held his cock up straight between her legs. It prompted her to start a slow descent around him, drawing him in slowly and deliberately. When she was fully seated and he fully sheathed, she leaned backward in the water, letting her curls sink into the water. Beads of water ran from her breasts and Curry slid his hands over her hard stomach to caress them unhurriedly. He smiled to himself, suddenly remembering a lake in the moonlight when she had been laid out like this in front of him.

Vic ran her hands through her hair, wetting it thoroughly; and then rose slowly and put her arms around Kid’s neck, nibbling on his ear. The champagne had made her so compliant, the water had made her so warm and his cock had made her want more. She slowly swayed her hips back and forth, dancing on his lap and leisurely teasing his cock. It was the dance she had learned in India, using the hips and stomach muscles. She had shown it to him once before; when she wore the chain belt with the bells and nothing else. He had loved it.

Curry switched between caressing her hips as they moved and loving her breasts. He had been on a slow burn ever since they stepped into the bath. He didn’t think he had ever made love so slowly in his life; but Vic was having such a good time, he didn’t want to rush her. It was a relaxing switch for him to be made love to and he wanted it to last also. She rubbed the water all over his chest, his arms, his neck. Massaging the muscles and bewitching his skin. Engaging in the most sensual kisses he thought they had ever shared.

She could feel all of herself rubbing against him, wet and slippery. She leaned back enough that he could see her put her hands on her breasts, rubbing them slowly and then sliding her hands down to her stomach. She wanted to press hard and feel him inside of her, stroke him from the outside as he stroked her from inside.

He repayed her with his hands on her legs, feeling the muscles working slowly on him. He glided over her silky skin until he was between her legs, seeking out her clit. He rubbed lazy circles around it and when she started to speed her pace, he slowed her down again. “ Nice and easy, girl. I want it to last all night.” It nearly did.

As they spent their last night in the hotel, Kid watched Vic as she slept, naked and still wearing her necklace. He pulled her close and she stirred but didn’t awaken. He kissed her forehead and quietly told her, “ I need you.”

The Kid and Vic slipped early onto the Black Cove train as it sat in the depot. They wanted to avoid the impending circus that promised to be the newlywed’s departure for their much-publicized worldwide cruise. Heyes had the hardest time convincing Clem to lay over in Emerald City one night so they could attend the Kid and Vic’s formal ceremony. Vic was pretty tight lipped about the whole affair and had arranged it by telegraph from Denver. He wasn’t even sure the Kid knew what the arrangements were; when pressed for details, he would just say, “ She just told me all I have to do is show up and wear a wedding ring. I’m not sure about that ring part.” Clem felt it took something away from her big event, but finally gave in when Heyes told her he would be there to stand by Kid Curry no matter what. He didn’t want to confess that he was doing it as much for Vic too. She put great stock in that legal document and she had waited for it long enough. What the lady wants, the lady gets.


Wanda had brought in extra help to open up the castle properly and clean it spotless. She had made sure the pews in the chapel were rubbed down and the scrollwork entwined with ivy. Particular attention was paid to the cleaning of the six-foot stained glass window at the front overlooking the altar. The rosewood columns in the chapel were polished and wrapped with ivy. The gold candelabras were shined and placed at each corner in the back of the room. The crystal chandelier in the ballroom had been lowered for cleaning and the floor shined. Chairs were arranged for the band from the Lucky Strike to play out on the terrace, and the French doors were opened facing the formal garden. The grand mahogany staircase in the entrance foyer was also polished and wrapped with ivy. Poker tables were set up in the main library and the billiard table was uncovered and dusted.

Mrs. Singletary, who had baked all of the wedding cakes in Emerald City for the last fifty years, was in the process of transporting it to Black Cove for assembly. The day before, ranch hands had buried three pigs and six sides of beef in hot coals to cook. Bourbon and whiskey were sent from the distillery; French champagne as a gift from Governor Hangler. The Morgan family silver, china and crystal had been carefully unpacked and readied for use.


Victoria had managed to secretly have a wedding dress fitted and sewn while in Denver. She knew she couldn’t trust it to Wanda because she had issued the warning that Vic would have her hide tanned if she walked down that aisle in pure white. “ Ya dun past that missy.”

The train pulled into Emerald City late afternoon. Heyes and Clem took a buggy to the ranch, while Vic and the Kid followed on horseback.
“ Aren’t you going to tell me anything?” the Kid asked as they trotted.
“ Jed, it’s not going to be that painful, the preacher says a few words, we say a few words, sign a few papers, have a little reception Kentucky style.”
“ What about the ring part?” he still wasn’t very comfortable with the thought of a band; he had never worn a ring in his life, though Heyes had for a few years. “ It’s not going to be comfortable. What if I have to rope a steer or bust a bronc; and how will that affect how fast I can reload? It’s just going to get in the way.”
“ And the last time you roped a steer or busted a bronc was…?” Vic snapped at him. “ I tell you what, if you don’t like it; then take it off.”
“ And you’re not going to kill me in my sleep if I do?” Curry asked suspiciously.
“ Nope, I’ll kill you when you’re wide awake.”

As the approached the gates to Black Cove castle, they were decorated with ivy and white lilies. There were already strange horses and buggies parked in the north pasture. “ This is where I get off.” Vic informed them. “ Ya’ll go on to the cottage and someone will come to get you before sunset.”
“ We’re getting married in the castle?” Curry eyed it suspiciously. “ People in the castle standing over all that gold?”
“ How will they know it’s there? I own the blasted thing and I didn’t know it was there. Quit worrying and go get dressed.” She called as she rode off.
After settling into the cottage, Heyes poured him and Clem a drink while the Kid went upstairs. In their bedroom was his new black suit from Denver. There was a knock on the door and Heyes peeked in. “ Decent?”
“ The papers say so.” He was trying to work the cufflinks.
Heyes smiled, “ As your best man, it is my duty to try to talk you out of giving up your freedom.”
“ We wouldn’t have our freedom right now if it weren’t for her.”
“ Well, then I’ll consider my duty fulfilled.” Heyes shrugged. “ Sure wish you and Vic would reconsider and come on the ship with us. We could have one hell of a time, the four of us.”
Curry looked over at Heyes thoughtfully, “ This will be the longest we have been apart since, well, ever. But honeymoonin’ isn’t exactly a group activity.”
“ Where are you two going?”
“ Have no idea.”
“ She doesn’t tell you a lot does she?”
Curry smiled, “ We’ve found it cuts down on the disagreements.”
The boys were startled by Clem’s scream from downstairs. Heyes raced to see what the commotion was and ran directly into Wheat Carlson, Kyle and the rest of the Devil’s Hole Gang. “ Heyes! “ they yelled a greeting. Kid Curry stood on the stairs shaking his head. “ What the hell you up to?”
Heyes shook his head in disbelief.” What are you trail hounds doing here?”
“ Well, we got a telegram and train tickets and it just said to come see you two.” Wheat started to explain. “ And you know there ain’t nothing we wouldn’t do for you boys.”
“ Yeah, we been seeing all about you two in the papers.” Kyle jumped in. “ You done got yourself married Heyes!”
“ I’m next, and I have a feeling that’s why you’re here.” Kid came down the stairs and the gang erupted in backslapping and handshaking. The whoopin and hollerin could be heard at the bunkhouse.
“ Clem…aah, boys, my bride, Clementine.”
Wheat immediately took off his hat and wiped his hand off on his leg before offering it to her. “ You must be the So-ciety Princess. We’re all real excited to meet you.”
“ Why yes, and thank you so much. I’ve..ah..heard so much about you all that I feel I know you all.” Clem stammered out.
“ Well, this is a hell of a place. We appreciate you puttin’ us up in the cabin and getting’ us new suits.“ Wheat exclaimed. “ When’s the shindig gonna get goin’.We are ready to have a party!”
Heyes put his hand on Wheat’s shoulder in warning, “ These are decent people, so you all be on your Sunday best behavior. And we will be searching you all before you leave.”
“ And I’ll shoot you if we find anything.” Curry added as he headed back upstairs to get ready.


“ Well, it fit three days ago.” Vic was worrying. The guests were beginning to arrive and she was having trouble with the dress.
“ Suck it in!” Wanda advised.
“ That’s the part that is already too tight and when I suck in, my chest just gets bigger.” Vic was trying to stuff herself in the dress.
“ Wa’ll we can bind ‘em down. And whose idear was this thang anyways. It still looks white ta me.”
“ It’s not white! It’s ivory! And it’ll be fine, old woman.” Vic was tugging here and there. “ Just get the buttonhook and pull. What time is it? We have to be in the chapel at sunset.”
“ Wher’s yer shoes?”
Vic turned with a terrified look on her face. “ Shoes?!”


Clem was afraid to answer the next knock on the cottage door, but she finished off her drink and flung it open.
“ Evening ma’am. I’m Father Morgan, no relation. I’m here for the groom. It’s time.” He peered around the room.
Clem turned to go pour another drink. Then she hollered, “ Kid, Father Morgan, no relation is here for you. Move your ass.” She finished it off in one gulp. This was going to be insufferable. Those dirty outlaws at a wedding.
Heyes and Curry came bounding down the stairs, “ Father Morgan?”
“ No relation. Yes. We need to get to the chapel.”
“ I thought we were getting married in the castle.” The Kid asked
“ Oh, it has it’s own chapel.” Father Morgan informed kindly.
“ I didn’t know it had a chapel.” Curry said, walking out the door.
“ I didn’t know there was a castle!” Wheat exclaimed and the boys all shook their heads in agreement. “ We thought it was a monkery. You know, where those monks live.”
“ Gentlemen please, the bride has requested a sunset service. We really must go.” Then he looked at the group. “ Who has the rings?”
Heyes raised his hand. “ Let’s go.”


“ Well, how did they used to keep them on their heads?” Vic was nearly screaming at Wanda as she tried to get the tiara in place. “ These hairpins aren’t big enough! “
“ Hows I supposed ta know?” Wanda was getting frazzled as well. “I’s to da point I’m gonna git to the barn an’ git me a hammer an’ nail that thang in yer head!”
Vic looked out the window; it was nearing dusk. She swung around to Wanda and growled, “ Figure something out old woman!”


Father Morgan led the gentlemen across the garden and in through the back door. He navigated the maze to the chapel and Curry stuck his head in and promptly turned around to leave. Heyes grabbed him. “ Forget something?”
“ There are people in there!” Kid hissed.
“ My, what an unexpected turn of events.” Heyes shot back as he pushed him through the door.

Vic hiked up her dress and was running down the corridor to the staircase. Each window she passed, she saw the sun getting lower. “ Run faster Wanda!” She took the stairs two at a time. It’s a good thing I’m barefoot. She ran the maze to the chapel and rounded the corner, sliding past the chapel on the smooth stone floor and into the wall.
Mrs. March, who was positioned at the rear of the chapel to sing the Ave Maria
a cappella as the bridal processional, saw the wisp of gossamer fly by and began to sing.
The guests stood and turned in anticipation, Heyes gave the Kid a pat on the arm, and the Kid was trying hard not to throw up.
Wanda came flying by door, and Mrs. March saw her, but kept singing. She wasn’t sure if she should stop of not. “ Git up chil’, ya got a man in ther awaitin’ on ya.”
Vic staggered to her feet, “ I’ve got a man?”
Wanda thrust Vic’s bouquet in her hand and straightened the tiara, then the dress. “ Yas um. In thar at the altar, now go git him. I’s go’n firs an you jus follow ol Wanda. Now git!”
Vic was trying to shake the spinning out of her head as she followed Wanda.
The Kid was trying to stop the spinning in his head. I don’t know how Heyes made it through this without throwing up. The guests were starting to peek around at the door and wonder if the bride was coming. Mrs. March was wondering if she would need to add another aria to the piece.
Finally, Wanda rounded the corner, stiff as a board, strangling her bouquet of calla lilies. She was a quarter of the way down and all of the sudden plastered a forced smile on her face. The sun was beginning to set, and the candlelight at the back or the room finally gave its noticeable glow to the room.
Wheat nudged Kyle and laughed lowly, “ That’s the best the Kid could do?”
Heyes shot him a warning and made a cutting motion across his throat.
Then Vic rounded the corner and lifted her head. Her long hair was completely down with no ribbons in the curls and upon her head sat her treasured tiara. The Kid let out a breath and suddenly felt fine. She was wearing his necklace, and the candlelight glittered off of the jewels. Her empire dress was soft and flowing ivory gossamer that floated with her as she started to walk down the aisle…barefoot. She was holding a small bouquet of white roses and the Kid thought this is what an angel looks like when she walks on earth.

Wheat whistled and Heyes mouthed the words shut the fuck up. Kid Curry held out his hand to help Victoria upon the step at the base of the altar, and she looked up into his eyes. At that moment, the sun began to set and they stood silhouetted by a radiant colored light streaming through the stained glass window.

The Kid remembered someone in the chapel gasp, he remembered someone crying, he heard words and remembered to say his part when prompted. There was an exchange of gold bands and stepping up to the altar to sign a paper and a book. Most of all he remembered the kiss and hoping the tiara wouldn’t fall off of her head.

Heyes remembered Father Morgan, no relation, officially introduce Mr. & Mrs. Jedidiah Curry to the chapel and it erupted in applause as they made their way back down the aisle. The guests threw white rose petals in the air as they passed, and Heyes remembered seeing Clem in the third pew with a glass in her hand.

Vic pulled the Kid by the hand and led him back up the staircase, “ Just one more tradition,” she promised. They walked through the master suite to a balcony overlooking the garden and the rest of the guests that couldn’t fit into the chapel. As they stepped out, from both sides of the castle, fireworks were launched and started exploding. A cheer went up from what the Kid guessed must have been a couple of hundred people.

Someone started screaming ‘ the kiss’ and the crowd quickly picked it up. Jed looked down at his bride to deliver a kiss and stopped.
“ I think your eye is getting a little black.”
“ I ran into a wall.”
“ I almost threw up.”
They smiled at each other and obliged the crowd. Then the party began. The bourbon and whiskey flowed freely as did some of the guests down the banister of the grand staircase. The band from the Lucky Strike played gay tunes as the can-can dancers performed to get the crowd fired up. The guests turned the formal garden into an impromptu dance floor, as others chased each other around the maze of shrubs. The fireworks continued for an hour and the ranch hands only had to put out one fire. Carving stations were set up around the castle and guests would wander from room to room, finding delectable treats in each one.

Vic was driving the Kid insane. After they had the first dance, she had just gone off to join the party; and whenever the Kid would catch up to her, she would laugh and run from him. She would slip into a hidden door and he would be left wondering where she was. Curry caught up with Heyes playing poker with Cole Younger and sat in for a few hands, just for a rest. When he saw Victoria enter the room, he stood up calmly and ran the other way. With a laugh, she hiked her dress up and started to chase him.

Wheat was dancing with one of the triplets when he stumbled and fell onto the table with the wedding cake on it. It all crashed to the floor. He lay there for a moment, stunned and started laughing. Stella went to find Vic to break the news to her. She found the Kid back at the poker table with Heyes; they looked at each other, “ uh oh.” They said in unison. They went to find Vic, and found her standing over Wheat, who was trying to put the table back up and pile the cake back on top of it.

She put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to one side and seemed to ponder for a moment. Then she reached out and tapped him on the shoulder. “ Cowboy, that horse is dead, and no matter how many oats you try to stuff up his ass, he’s still gonna be dead.” Then she walked off.

Heyes and the Kid looked at each other.
“ That’s my girl.” The Kid shook his head and went back to the game.
Vic was passing through the billiard room, when all of the sudden, she was ambushed by the Kid. He picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and proceeded to leave the party. She laughed, she protested, she was carried back to the cottage and dumped unceremoniously into the middle of their bed.

Curry looked at her strangely, “ Did you nail that thing on?” pointing to the tiara.
Vic giggled,” Wanda had to weave my hair into the bottom of it to get it to stay, she’s going to have to get it out.”

“ Well, then, it looks like we do this thing with the jewelry.”
“ What thing?”
He started to take off his coat, “ You got married twice, I get the wedding night twice.” He pulled the worn yellow volume from the drawer, “ pick a page or do you want me to?”
“ Page 123.” She said without hesitation.

“ You sure about that, you don’t want to look over the menu?” he picked up the book and turned to page 123, then turned the volume to its side and back again. “ No, that’s a good choice.” He started to undress when the door to their bedroom came crashing in and a mob of men flew through and manhandled the Kid to a chair.

Victoria was screaming, “ NO! He’s from the west, he doesn’t know...” she was jerked from the bed and slung over the back of a tall, strapping man. “ Put me down, or I’ll poke out your eyes out with my tiara.” She was beating him on the back and kicking to no avail.

Four men were tying the Kid to the chair, laughing. “ Vic! What the hell is going on?” He saw that one of the men had put a rag to her face and her eyes closed quickly and she stopped struggling. A potato sack was placed over his head and he heard a gruff voice.
“ If ya want her, ya gotta find her.” He heard more laughing and the sound of footsteps out of the room.
“ Heyes!” the Kid started to scream as he tried to loosen the ropes and free himself from the chair. It seemed like he screamed and fought the ropes for over an hour.

Heyes surveyed the busted door and the Kid tied up in a chair with a burlap sack on his head. “ You know this looks pretty kinky, Kid.”
“ Heyes, “ Curry said wearily. “ Just untie me.”
“ I don’t know Kid, sometimes no means yes…”
“ Heyes!”


Wanda woke up to the incessant pounding on her door and made her way through the darkened room. Throwing open the door revealed Heyes and Curry, who did not look amused. “ Son, yous bangin’ on da wrong door. Number one -It’s yer weddin’ night, again, an number two - I juz don’t have them kinda feelins fer ya. “
The Kid shook his head, “ Some men busted into the cottage and took Vic and tied me up.”
Wanda shook her head, “ Oh no theys didn’t. Ever body promised wasn’t no one gonna hijack the bride.”
Heyes looked at the old woman, “ Hijack the bride…”
Wanda looked annoyed, “ Yous ain’t from around these parts… if’n da bridegroom wantz his bride, he gotta go fetch her.”
Curry crossed his arms across his chest, “ That would be where exactly?”
“ Well, they usual take her to wher ya’ll done yer courtin’”
Curry looked at Heyes, who just shrugged and then back to Wanda. “ I don’t think you would actually say we courted.”
“ Oh, wall than, wher did ya go a sparkin’?”
Curry looked at Heyes again, “ I don’t think I know what sparkin’ is.”
Wanda peered out over her spectacles, “ Wa’ll she sur got the short end o’ da stick.”
Heyes jumped in, “ In the absence of courting and sparking places, where else could they have taken her?”
“ Wa’ll she shore ain’t here.” Wanda assured them as she slammed the door.
Curry threw up his hands as he stepped off of the porch, “ Not exactly how I pictured my wedding night.”
“ Well, look at it this way, most of us only get one.”
“ You’re not helping, Heyes.”
“ What do you mean I’m not helping? I have a bride waiting for me, you know.” Heyes snapped back.
“ She sure didn’t come with all of these God awful traditions and rules and downright weird behavior. God is tasking me Heyes, for all of those years of lawlessness!” Curry threw up his hands as he headed off to the stable. “ It just can’t get any worse than this!”

A loud crash of thunder was heard and then rain immediately started to fall on the pair. Curry looked up to the night sky, “ You’re fucking kidding me, right? Haven’t I turned over a new leaf? Haven’t I been honest and respectable and downright helpful to the needy?”
Heyes crossed his arms, “ You forgot chivalrous and self-sacrificing,” he said sarcastically.
Curry turned around and waved a finger in Heyes face. “ Don’t you ridicule me Heyes! I’ve got one nerve left and it’s wound this tight.” Then he stomped off again toward the stable.
“ Well, it seems to me the pattern is to take the bride somewhere familiar to the pair.” Heyes suggested helpfully.
“ Well Hidalgo and Laredo are a long way to go for a prank, Heyes.” He grabbed his saddle and headed into Trigger’s stall.
“ What about the Lucky Strike? “
“ Heyes, you’re brilliant!” shouted Kid. “ See, I knew if you just put your mind to it, you’d come up with something useful.”