The Importance of Family

Disclaimer: I don't own Bonanza, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst

Rating: FRT

The Importance of Family
Chapter 8


The next time Joe woke, he was surprised to find himself alone. Glancing towards the window he saw the lights of the city twinkling in the darkness. That must be why his family wasn't here, he thought to himself. He knew if he could have, his father at least, would have been here. Likely the doctor wouldn't allow it. Joe couldn't help wishing he had, as much as he hated being in the hospital, it was always worse when he was alone. Silently he began to take inventory, there was a dull pain in his gut, accompanied by a general all over soreness.

He froze. Staring at his legs, he realized that the soreness he felt didn't extend all over. The cast on his leg told him the limb had been broken, yet he felt no pain in any part of his lower body. Joe shook his head, no, this couldn't be happening. There had to be some other reason for the lack of pain. He knew, in spite of his denial, there was only one explanation for the complete lack of feeling, something not even the best painkiller would account for. Still, desperate for some other reason, he reached for the button that would bring the nurse.

Ben stepped back into the room, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. One look in his son's eyes and he knew Joe had discovered his condition. "I should have known you'd wake up as soon as I went for coffee," he tried to joke.

Joe licked his lips, "I can't feel my legs," he announced unnecessarily. "Why?"

Setting his coffee aside, Ben perched on the edge of the bed. "Your spine," he said, picking up Joe's hand, "was bruised pretty bad in the accident. There's some swelling around it, that's what's causing you trouble."

"Is it permanent?" Joe whimpered.

"They don't think so," Ben replied. Brushing the hair from his son's forehead, he replaced it with a soft kiss. He couldn't help wishing that he could fix this hurt as easily as he had those of Joe's childhood.

"But they don't know?" He was terrified of the answer, but he wouldn't let himself hide from the truth.

Ben sighed, "No son, they don't know for certain. The odds are good, though, that it's just the swelling and as soon as it goes down you'll regain the feeling in your legs."

"How long?"

"You've only been here..."

"No," Joe cut him off. "How long until they know?"

"Oh," Ben sighed. "They can't say, it all depends on how long it takes for the swelling to subside. It could be anywhere from a few days to a few months." He hated giving the boy such news, but he had never hidden the truth from his children and he wouldn't start now.

Joe nodded. "Can I be alone for a while?" he turned his head away.

"I don't think that's such a good idea son," Ben quietly replied.

“Please Dad,” Joe whimpered, “I need...some time, please.”

Ben sighed, “I don't like it, but I always did have trouble telling you no.” Giving Joe a tight smile, he stood up and started for the door. “I won't be far son, if you need me.”

Joe nodded. The moment his father was out the door, he let the tears he'd held back fall. He wasn't sure why he wanted to hide his reaction from his father. It wasn't as if the older man would think he was weak for the tears he couldn't refuse. He knew that, as sure that he knew his brother Hoss could out eat any three men, but for some reason he was afraid to have his father see his fear.

Ben leaned against the door, listening to his youngest cry. He blinked rapidly, wanting to join Joe in his grief. He would respect the boy's wishes, however, for the time being at least.

Jason Lewis had met the Cartwrights a few months after Ben's wedding to Marie. They had quickly struck up a friendship, sharing joys and sorrows through the years. Necessity had kept him away for these past seven years and he had been looking forward to the reunion with his old friend. It had come as a shock when he had arrived at the house, only to be told of Joe's accident. Leaving his bags sitting in the entry way of the Ponderosa, he had wasted no time in coming to his friend's aid, even if all he could offer was a shoulder. “Ben?”

He opened his eyes, staring at the man in front of him. “Jason?”

“Joe's not worse is he?” For a variety of reasons, the most important of which he could never share with the man in front of him, Joe had always been his favorite.

Ben shook his head, “No, no worse. He just found out about his legs; he wanted some time alone,” he explained. “What are you doing here Jason?”

Jason's eyes widened in surprise. He wondered what the man meant about Joe's legs, but that could wait for now. “You're my friend Ben, where else would I be?”

Coloring with shame, Ben nodded, “Thank you Jason.”

He dipped his head, acknowledging the words. “You look like you could use a break, come on I'll buy ya a cup of coffee.”

“I promised Joe I'd be near if he needs me.”

Jason smiled sadly, his grey eyes flashing with sympathy. “You won't be any good to him if you collapse from exhaustion.”

“I've been resting,” Ben protested.

“I don't think sleeping in a chair next to your son's bed counts,” he smirked. “Come on now Ben.” He took his arm and led him away from Joe's room, “We'll just go into the nurse's break room, they'll let us know if Joe needs you.”

Ben smirked, “Already spreading your charm around?”

Jason chuckled, “You know me too well old friend, but it's in a good cause this time.”

“Alright, one cup of coffee and that's all,” he conceded.

“That's all I ask,” Jason smiled. “Sit down Ben, I'll get the coffee,” he softly ordered. A moment later he joined his friend at the table, sliding one of the mugs he carried over to him. “What happened Ben?”

“Didn't the boys tell you?” Ben looked up, startled by the question.

Jason shot a sheepish look his way, “I didn't really give them a chance. They said there'd been an accident and you were at the hospital with Joe. I dropped my bags and headed this way.”

Ben smiled, “You're a good friend Jason.” Scrubbing a hand over his face, he heaved a sigh. “We're not sure ourselves. We know that Joe went riding his dirt bike. When he didn't come home by dark, we went looking for him.”

Jason frowned, “Surely he's been out after dark before?”

Ben nodded, “Of course, but Hoss had a bad feeling. I learned a long time ago to trust that boy's gut and so we started searching. We don't know what happened, just that he wrecked his bike and lay there in pain for God only knows how long.”

Jason sighed, he could hear the recrimination in Ben's voice. “You had no way of knowing.”

“I'm his father, I should have known,” Ben argued.

“You've been holding out old friend.”

“What are you talking about Jason?” he demanded.

“You never told me you're psychic,” came the simple reply.

“What makes you think I'm...” Ben trailed off as realization hit. “Point taken.”

“What did the doctor say?”

Ben quickly filled his friend in, “...I'm not sure I should've left him alone, but it's what he wanted.”

Jason nodded, “Then it's probably best that you gave him what he asked for. He must be feeling as if he has no control right now, so any control you can give him will probably help.”

Ben smiled, Jason had always been good at reading people, some better than others. “You always did seem to know what Joe needed, even when I didn't.”

“Distance,” Jason dismissed. Seeing his friend's look he clarified his statement. “I'm not his family, it gives me a different perspective, one less encumbered by emotion. Sometimes that emotional distance can give a clearer picture.” It wasn't true of course, he had loved Joe as much as his family had. The truth was, he thought that it was that very love, as deep as what his family felt, yet different, that allowed him to read Joe so well. He didn't think, however, that Ben would appreciate that sentiment, making the lie necessary. “Would you like to ask a nurse to check on him?”

Ben nodded, giving his friend a grateful look. Just as he had been after Marie's accident, Jason was here for him, offering him the support he needed.

Jason stood up and left the break room. Not seeing any nurses in sight, he thought about what to do. He could wait for one to return, or search them out. He took his third option, moving to Joe's room and slowly pushing the door open. He smiled sadly at the figure in the bed. Stepping into the room, he closed the distance from door to bed in just a few paces. He wasn't sure whether to be disappointed or relieved that Joe was sleeping. Deciding that the boy might not appreciate his presence just now, he went with relief. He watched him sleeping for a few minutes, one hand absently brushing the still unruly hair from the young man's face as he drank in the sight of the boy he had missed all these years. He had grown into a fine looking man, yet it was easy to see the child lingering in his features. As the boy in the bed began to stir, he reluctantly retreated to the door, quietly leaving the room.

TBC

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